Nagreready ako for my family dinner tonight. Yes, family. Dahil ininvite ni Daddy ang sarili niya sa restaurant ni Mom and she told me na pagbigyan ko na ang tatay ko dahil matagal ko na itong hindi nakikita.

 

I think yung last meeting namin was nung nasa LB pa ako and he wanted to be there nung may recognition sa College ko that time para sa mga naging honor roll, college scholars, and university scholars for that particular sem.

 

Kahit naman nabibwiset talaga ako kay Daddy, I know he's really proud of me and what I've become. He doesn't shy din sa pagpopost sa akin sa facebook. And well, he keeps my bank account in shape.

 

Tanda ko noong na uno ako sa isang subject ko for my second sem in UPLB, nag post siya ng picture ko na akala niya yata eh maganda. It was a selfie of me na nakanganga at halatang tipsy. Kainis.

 

Alam ko naman na gusto niya kaming mas maging magka close pa than how we are right now pero it's me who's very distant.

 

I think alam naman niya kung bakit kaya hindi na rin niya ako pinipilit to hang out with him all the time. Kahit si Mommy ay tumigil na sa pagpilit sa akin na makipag kita lagi sa Daddy ko.

 

Not tonight, though. She asked me to come at gusto raw akong kamustahin ni Dad about my transfer to Diliman. Hindi na rin ako tumanggi at gusto ko rin makita yung reaction niya sa success ni Mom sa business.

 

My phone rang when I was doing my make up. Si Karina. I put her on speaker because my hands were occupied.

 

"Hey pretty." Bungad niya. Yes, ako na nga ang maganda.

 

Nagta-try akong mag lagay ng winged eyeliner pero ang hirap pala niya. Magpapaturo ako kay Lia next time. For now, wingless na lang muna. Hindi naman ako mamamatay kung hindi makapag lagay ng pakpak sa eyeliner.

 

"Hi beh ko." Sagot ko. Ayaw na ayaw niya na tinatawag ko siyang ganyan. Mas okay pa raw yung madam.

 

I heard her groan, "I'm hanging up."

 

Tumawa ako at nagulo bigla yung eyeliner. Kaasar!

 

"Hindi na, hindi na. Kamusta? Did you just get home?"

 

May last exam pa siya bukas para sa sa major niya. Hindi kami sabay umuwi kanina after ng exam namin sa FN 1 at nag stay muna siya sa library ng engineering to study with her batchmates.

 

Mahirap daw kasi yung subject na yon. I think about sa coding. Di ko na inalam masyado at wala naman akong magegets for sure.

 

Tapos naman na ang exams ko at sa wakas ay naka raos na rin for the midterms. Baka ibalik yung ibang results bukas kaya medyo kinakabahan ako lalo sa Finance. Para kasing nag struggle at nadalian ako at the same time. Nakakapanibago. Ako ba talaga ito?

 

Hindi ko alam kung talagang matalino na ako sa subject na yon dahil sa binigay na reviewer ni Minju or talagang mali mali lang ang pagsosolve ko.

 

"Yes just 10 minutes ago. I'm having dinner." Kaya pala parang naririnig ko yung pag nguya niya.

 

"What are you having?" tanong ko habang nagbublush on. Pansin ko mas extra glowing ako kapag naka make up. Parang kailangan kong mag selfie mamaya na naka pout.

 

"Dad cooked pasta with meatballs. And garlic bread." She replied.

 

Kumulo bigla ang tiyan ko sa thought ng garlic bread. Favorite ko kasi yun.

 

"Magpa lalamove ka na lang kaya ng food dito samin. I suddenly just want to stay home at kumain ng garlic bread."

 

She laughed, “Aren't you excited for the dinner?”

 

I gave myself a one last look sa mirror. Ganda!

 

“Meh. Not really. But namiss ko yung resto. Ang tagal kong hindi naka visit.” Nagpatay na ako ng ilaw sa kwarto at kinuha yung bag ko.

 

“Yeah I miss your Mom’s food. We can go there with my friends pala. Haechan, Jaehyun, and Yuna have been wanting to try.”

 

Oo nga pala, nag promise ako sa kanila na mag hang out kami. It’ll be nice to bring them to our resto. Way of impressing din. Heh.

 

Nakapasok na ako sa car at kailangan ko na talagang pumunta dahil nandon na raw si Daddy. Early bird lang?!

 

“Okay baby. Maybe next week? Para done na yung exams. I have to drive na..” parang ayoko pang ibaba. Gusto ko pa siyang kausap.

 

“Okay.. I’ll study after eating. Ingat, okay? I miss you..” medyo humina yung boses niya dun sa sinabi niya sa huli. Baka nandon yung parents niya.

 

Miss na miss ko na rin ang bebekwah! Di ako sanay na hindi siya kasabay pauwi.

 

“I miss you too babe. I’ll talk to you later. Bye!”

 

I drove na pa BGC. Ramdam kong may ibibigay nanaman sakin ‘tong si Daddy. Last week tinanong niya ako what I’d like daw.

 

Tinanong ko kung para saan, sabi niya gusto niya akong i-congratulate for getting transferred to Diliman.

 

May pagka mema din yun eh. Hindi naman niya ako need bigyan ng regalo for that. Mga mayayaman talaga!

 

 

 

 

“Winter, anak!” sinalubong ako ni Daddy pagpasok ko ng resto. Eksena naman.

 

I hugged him back, nakatingin lang naman samin si Mommy with a smile on her face.

 

“Hi Dad. Upo na tayo. Para tayong nasa Wish Ko Lang tapos ngayon lang nagkita after 10 years.”

 

He laughed, “Hindi ka talaga nagbabago.”

 

I hugged my Mom and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Minsan lang din kami magkita lately kahit pa nga magkasama kami sa bahay.

 

Usually kasi late na siyang umuwi tapos sobrang busy ko rin sa acads.

 

“How’s UPD so far, anak?” tanong ni Dad. Umorder na si Mom sa staff niya at inaantay na lang namin ang food.

 

“Okay naman po. Kakatapos lang ng midterms ko. I struggled nang kaonti sa Finance..” I cringed. Pero sana talaga pumasa ako.

 

My parents laughed. Tinawanan talaga nila yung struggle ko. Kaloka!

 

“You’re just like your Mom back then. Hirap na hirap yan sa algebra.” Pagbibiro niya.

 

Binato siya ni Mommy ng tissue. Grabe, paano nagagawa ni Mom yung ganito? Acting all cool with Dad after what he did sa family namin?

 

Hindi ko nga alam pano siya napa payag ni Dad na mag dinner kami tonight. 

 

Siguro time heals all wounds nga talaga. She’s probably past it at talagang moved on na. It's still kind of hard pa sa part ko.

 

“Sino kaya ang hindi alam ang powerhouse of the cell..” ganti ni Mommy. Natawa ako. Okay, shunga si Daddy sa science.

 

Dumating na yung food and we started eating. Medyo light lang ang atmosphere namin at wala namang tension na namumuo.

 

“Kamusta pala yung car, Winter? Nagkaka problema ba? Balita ko ang dami mong sinasakay na chika babes mo don.”

 

Pinanlakihan ko siya ng mata. Ano nanamang chika nito ni Daddy?! Napaka imbento.

 

“Wala kaya! ‘My ano nanaman kinekwento mo dito?” Umikot ang mata ko habang kumakain ng pasta. I continued, “And wala naman pong problema yung Jimny. Pero need ko po yata magpa change oil.”

 

He nodded, “Okay. I’ll tell my driver to do that for you this weekend.”

 

Ayun! Minsan talaga may pakinabang itong si Daddy eh. Charot. Pero buti na lang nag initiate siya. Hassle magpa change oil at nakakatamad mag antay.

 

Sumingit si Mommy, “Ning told me na lagi mong hinahatid si Karina..”

 

At kailan pa naging textmates ang nanay ko at si Ningning? Mga Marites ng taon.

 

“Who’s Karina?” Curious na tanong ni Daddy. Naweweirduhan talaga ako na para kaming normal na family ngayon. Teasing each other and talking about my lovelife.

 

“She's just my—“

 

“Jowa ni Winter.” Pag sabat ni Mommy. Aba!

 

Dad looked at me at parang may pangaasar sa mata. Alam niya naman yata yung preference ko. Baka nabanggit ni Mom.

 

Kung hindi man niya ako tanggap, wala rin naman akong pake. Pero he doesn’t really seem bothered about it.

 

“May picture ka? Let me see ko kung same tayo ng taste sa women.” Napatawa lang naman si Mommy at pinakita yung picture nila ni Karina kasama yung flowers na bigay nito sa kanya.

 

Umalis na lang kaya ako? Pinagtutulungan ako ng dalawang ‘to eh. Eh kung sila ang asarin ko sa failed marriage nila. Charot!

 

We finished our meals and Dad spoke, “You really did a great job with your business, Liz. No thanks to me, though.” He joked.

 

My mom smiled, “What can I say. Madiskarte talaga ang mga babae.”

 

"True!" Pag agree ko.

 

My dad left not long after and reminded me about the change oil this weekend. Papupuntahin na lang daw niya sa bahay yung driver niya to get my car. He gave me a box full of gift certificates from different restaurants sa Manila. I thanked him for it.

 

My mom and I went to her office para mag ayos. Sabay na kaming uuwi.

 

There was I comfortable silence between the two of us. I broke it when I asked, “Mom..”

 

She looked at me, “Yes, honey?”

 

I looked outside her floor to ceiling window, “How do you do it?”

 

She stopped with what she was doing at tumabi sa akin, “Do what?” she asked. But I know she knows kung ano yung tinatanong ko.

 

“Being cool with Dad like that. Like— like he didn’t leave us.” I said carefully. Ayokong may ma-inflict na trigger kay Mom.

 

She chuckled at hinawakan ako sa kamay, “Anak. The pain.. the pain will never go away. I just learned how to deal and move past it. I don’t want it to haunt me forever.”

 

I nodded. She’s really one of the best people I know in my life. Not because she’s my Mom but how strong she is as a woman who got cheated on.

 

She continued, “Honestly, I think it was for the best. I mean, look at what happened. Nakapag tayo ako ng dalawang restaurants. I wouldn’t even have thought of doing this when your dad and I were together. I always just depended on him before. And-- and we were not okay even before the cheating thing.”

 

Medyo nagiging emotional ako sa topic namin. Kapag talaga about sa struggles ni Mom before, hindi ko kinakaya na hindi maluha. I should give her more credit.

 

“I’m not saying na okay lang that you grew up without him. Or that okay lang na ginawa niya yun sa akin. Sa atin. He will always be ty for what he did and I will never forgive him for it.” We both laughed.

 

“But anak, I think— I think some people aren’t meant to stay in your life forever. But that doesn’t mean you can’t carry a piece of them in your heart. No matter how much pain they caused you.”

 

“And your dad, he chose not to stay but he will always be present in our lives. Especially yours. But it’s your choice if you’re gonna let him, okay? Wala siyang say sa kung anong choice mo. After all, it was him who chose to leave us first.”

 

I nodded. I felt tears coming out from my eyes. Sobrang understanding ni Mom sa lahat ng nangyari. She just chose to take the path na walang grudges at bitterness.

 

Siguro ngayon talagang nasa phase pa ako na may hinanakit pa rin sa puso. But maybe, just maybe, in the future, I’ll choose to completely accept him despite what he did. And if that time doesn't come, then it's okay too.

 

She hugged me and wiped the tears sa mga mata ko. Gumaan yung loob ko bigla.

 

I suddenly remembered Karina. Is it the same with Yeji for her? Will Karina always carry a piece of her ex in her heart kahit na nasaktan siya nito?

 

I shook off my thoughts. It doesn't matter as long as I keep on trusting her.

 

We said our byes to the staff and I drove us both straight sa bahay. While driving, I kept glancing kay Mommy. She looks happy. She looks accomplished. Women don't need men, or anyone for that matter, to make them feel complete.

 

 

 

 

Aaaaaaah! Pasado ako sa Finance! Tama nga ang hinala ko, talagang nadalian ako sa exam. All it took lang pala was a reviewer made by Minju. Sobrang thankful ko talaga sa kanya.

 

Hindi lang kas