My mind just keeps going back to my conversation with Winter that night.

 

Was I a bit too harsh sa kanya? Maybe I was without even realizing it. It was a long day for me yesterday because I almost missed my deadline.

 

It's not a good reason para i-blurt out ko bigla sa kanya yung worry ko about her spending her free time sa akin but I couldn't help but to open it up sa kanya.

 

It was okay at first but I noticed na sa akin na lang niya halos nilalaan ang oras niya. Meanwhile, I keep seeing Minju's IG stories about their social nights in College. Wala na rin lagi si Winter sa mga lakad nila.

 

It kind of alarmed me kasi ayoko namang sa akin lang umikot ang mundo niya habang nasa SNU siya.

 

Yes it's important that we spend time talking with each other during LDR even though we're focusing on ourselves first but it's also essential that she goes out sometimes to connect with other people.

 

Especially when it would help her future career.

 

And besides, I also sometimes wants to go out of the condo when I don't have to do anything acads-related.

 

She's right, however, that if I had told it to her beforehand, maiintindihan naman niya. Of course she would understand. Si Winter yun, eh.

 

I guess I just did not want to make her feel na parang ayaw kong makausap siya during my free time. I did not want to upset her.

 

But that's exactly what happened.

 

Wrong timing yung pagkaka-open ko sa kanya nung topic.

 

I realized it right after our call. She sounded excited nung tumawag siya but her tone changed into something  somber. And it's my fault. I couldn't take it back anymore kaya ito ako ngayon, grabeng magpapansin sa kanya! My goodness.

 

Naalala ko tuloy nung sinusuyo ko siya when I stood her up sa BLK 513. Ganitong ganito rin ako back then. Like nang like ng posts just so she'd know I'm consistently thinking about her at hindi siya nawawala sa isip ko.

 

Alam ko naman na kaya hindi na rin siya masyadong nagparamdam after that call is because she probably got way too conscious na i-contact ako.

 

"What are you doing? Don't you have a paper to finish?" Giselle asked across the room. I'm staying at her place right now dahil Lia has a work trip kaya nag iinarte si gaga.

 

I groaned at hinagis ko yung phone ko sa may sofa at bumalik na ulit sa pagla-laptop. "I'm liking Winter's posts on IG."

 

She eyed me looking confused, "What?" Tinawanan pa ako. Who cares if nila-like ko posts ni Winter? Girlfriend ko kaya siya.

 

"Did you do something? Isn't that your way ng paglalambing? Ano nanaman kashungahan mo, Kat?" I hate her sometimes dahil kilalang kilala niya ako. I need a new best friend. Qualified ba si Ning?

 

I sighed. "It's not a big of a deal but I think nagtatampo siya sakin which is very understandable. Nothing big, Gi. Gusto ko lang magpa-pansin."

 

Binitawan ko ulit ang laptop ko at kinuha yung phone. I opened Winter's profile again at nag react naman sa stories niya. Nag karaoke yata siya with her friends.

 

Good. She's mingling again.

 

Bad. Kasi nagtatampo pa rin ang baby ko!

 

"Oh okay. Akala ko about Yujin nanaman." She teased. I scoffed with the mention of my classmate's name.

 

It has been a while na rin nung huli ko siyang makausap. She took the initiative to avoid the group especially me after what happened in La Union.

 

I gave her another chance before kasi she seemed so genuine with her apology naman but I didn't know may internal hatred pala siyang tinatago for Winter. I have no idea why but I'm assuming it's because of her little crush sa akin.

 

Unluckily for her, I would never tolerate anyone disrespecting my girlfriend like that. What was she even thinking nung sinabi niya yung mga yon kay Winter? Did she think I'd agree with her? Nahihibang yata siya.

 

"No. Just a normal tampuhan. I'm sure you and Lia have moments like that." I'm still looking at my phone screen. Like. Like. React. Unlike. Like ulit. Unlike. Like.

 

Masyado akong papansin sa kanya but I couldn't care less. Also, she looks really pretty sa kanyang stories and posts.

 

Tumabi si Giselle sa akin on the couch, naki nood ng pagiging weirdo ko sa pag unlike and like ng posts ng girlfriend ko.

 

"Yeah. I'm matampuhin. Or whatever." She rolled her eyes. Baka na-cornyhan sa sarili.

 

I chuckled at tinignan ko siya, "I didn't peg you as someone na pabebe. Do tell." I locked my phone again at baka mainis na si Winter sa pagpapa-pansin ko.

 

Giselle looks reluctant at first but I know she's gonna tell me anyway.

 

"I, uhh, I get mad when she doesn't hold my hand when we're walking.." I'm trying to contain my laughter. Ang weird marinig ni Giselle like this. She's usually cool lang and nonchalant about things.

 

She hit me on the arm, "Don't laugh! I'm sure ganon ka rin kay Winter!"

 

"No. But sure. Go on.. Ano pa?" I probed. I'm enjoying this. And it's making me forget my baby's pagtatampo sa akin for a while.

 

"Inaway ko siya nang matagal when she forgot what my favorite color was.."

 

I snorted loudly. Hindi ko na kinaya. Hinampas hampas niya ulit ako, "Stop laughing! Ayoko nang mag share!"

 

Now that I'm hearing yung way na magtampo si Giselle, I realized na mas may sense pala talaga yung tampuhan namin ni Winter!

 

"Fine! Fine! I'll stop. I think it's cute, Gi. May mas pabebe pa pala kaysa kay Ning.. And that says a lot." I laughed again nang malakas at nakaiwas na sa kanyang paghampas.

 

Good thing we got distracted by the knocks on her door. We didn't have to open it dahil tuloy tuloy ang pasok ni Ning kasama si Yeji at Ryujin.

 

"Hello babi! Hello baby!" Bineso beso niya kami ni Giselle. Tumingin siya sakin and she frowned, "Bakit mo ko tinext kung nakakausap ko si Winter?"

 

Napatingin din yung tatlo sa akin, para akong na-spotlight bigla. Even Yeji who's always in her stoic self looks curious. "What? I was just asking Ning.. Why are you guys here anyway? Anong meron?" I changed the topic. Wala naman kasing need intrigahin sa akin and Winter. We're fine. Para namang ngayon lang sila nakakita ng mag jowa na may tampuhan.

 

"Ewan ko dito kay Ning! Sabi LQ daw kayo ni Winter baka raw ngumangawa ka dito at kailangan ng comfort." Ryujin answered. They put the food they brought sa sofa table at umupo na rin.

 

I saw Yeji roll her eyes, "Wala naman problem pala. Ryujin and I could've been cuddling and having s—" Tinakpan ni Ryujin ang bibig ng kanyang girlfriend.

 

"Babe yang bunganga mo talaga! Sabi sayo sakin mo lang sasabihin yang mga ganyan!"

 

We all just shook our head dun sa dalawa. It's really nice seeing Yeji all mushy for Ryujin, though. I remember our talk that night sa apartment ni Ate Krystal after we helped her sort out her family matters. She was telling me how annoying her roommate was.

 

Well, look at how that turned out.

 

"The only one na ngumangawa right now is Giselle kasi wala si Lia." I teased my best friend. She didn't protest with what I said kasi totoo naman.

 

Our friends decided to stay na rin para naman daw hindi masayang ang punta nila. Ning even suggested na mag sleep over kahit may mga work sila tomorrow. Good luck na lang. Although I volunteered na ihatid sila kung kaya ko.

 

I don't have classes tomorrow at malapit naman na yung one-week break na ibibigay sa amin so puro papers lang yung ginagawa ko lately. I also do advanced readings.

 

Pumasok sa isip ko na pumunta sa South Korea to visit Winter but I think that's pretty far-fetched. And three months na lang naman uuwi na siya dito sa Pinas. Kung wala siyang ibabagsak, that is. But I'm confident na she'll pass all her subjects.

 

"Let's just watch horror. Tabi tabi naman tayong matutulog later." Ning suggested.

 

Horror.

 

Wala si Winter dito para sigaw sigawan ko sa tenga every time may scary scenes. Wala akong macucuddle. Pero ganon din naman sila Ning and Gi so I guess wag na lang akong mag inarte.

 

 

 

 

 

"Ahhhhhh!!!!" Pang limang sigaw na yata ni Ningning ito sa tenga ko.

 

Oh my goodness. Siya yung naka yakap sa likod ko right now dahil takot na takot siya sa pinapanood naming Conjuring. Takot din naman ako pero hindi ako naninira ng eardrums ng ibang tao! Natatawa lang si Yeji and Ryujin sa kanya.

 

Giselle is as cool as a cucumber while watching.

 

"Ning can you tone it down!" I shouted at her. My ears are ringing. Ni wala nga akong naintindihan sa pinapanood namin.

 

She looked at me with her poker face. "Ahhhhhh!!!!" Sumigaw siya sa mukha ko. I could only close my eyes and smile humorlessly sa kanya. Now I get why Winter gets frustrated with her best friend all the time.

 

Nilagyan ko na lang siya ng maraming popcorn sa bibig so she'd shut up. She choked on them. Serves her right.

 

We got startled by Yeji and Ryujin's laugh sa may likod kaya Giselle paused the movie for a while. Weird nga naman na bigla silang tatawa while we're literally watching a horror film.

 

"Anong meron?" My best friend curiously asked.

 

They both look funny containing their laughter habang hawak hawak ang phone. Yeji was about to give me hers nang tinapik siya ng girlfriend, "Karina wag mong panoorin!"

 

I got even more curious. "What is it?"

 

I saw Ryujin give her phone kay Ning at tumawa na rin ang best friend ni Winter. "Shuta! Ano to!" Ano bang meron? I can hear my girlfriend's voice sa speaker ng phone. And did I hear her call me sa video?

 

Finally ay nakuha ko yung cellphone ni Yeji. Giselle is watching behind me, curious na rin siya. I played Winter's Instagram story first and what I saw shocked me. Is this really Minju?!

 

"Sino si Chaewon? And is Winter filming her? I'm hearing my girlfriend." I asked more to myself.

 

"Oh my innocent Minju! My sweet and very innocent Minju! What happened to you!?" Exaggerated na sabi ni Ning. Natawa kami ni Giselle with her dramatic antics.

 

"Win diba mas cute ako dun kay ate?"

 

Oh, okay. Si Winter nga ang kumukuha ng video. What's up with them? Are they drunk?! Narinig ko ang girlfriend ko na sumagot. She sounds so funny.

 

"Tama! Hindi laude yon. Ikaw laude ka."

 

Natapos na yung video when Minju answered her with her slurred "Correct." Oh my lord.

 

Not I'm dreading sa video ni Winter. For sure meron din siya and for sure I can find it sa Instagram story naman ng friend niya.

 

"Teh tawang tawa ako kay Winter parang gago! Panoorin mo na dali!" Excited si Ning na kinuha yung phone ko to search Minju's Instagram account.

 

"Karina!"

 

I flinched. Ang lakas ng boses niya and obvious naman na she's already wasted. Jesus Christ. Why did they decide to drink anyway?! Para silang mga lasenggang ewan. I'll give Winter a piece of mind tomorrow.

 

"Siguro.." I smiled unknowingly when I heard her hiccups in between her words. Ang cute niya pa rin kahit mukhang bangenge na. "Siguro a—ayaw mo akong kausap."

 

"Oh my god! Your jowa looks so cute. She thinks ayaw mo siyang kausap. Kat! What did you do?!" Giselle exclaimed.

 

I dismissed her and gave my focus back to Winter's drunk video.

 

"Pero like ka naman nang like ng posts ko at story!"

 

Okay and?! Can't I like her posts and stories porket nagtatampo siya sakin?!

 

"Wag mo na kong kakausapin kahit kailan!"

 

All three of them are laughing at my frowning face now. What's so funny?!

 

I honestly got worried dahil baka inisip talaga ni Winter na ayaw ko siyang kausapin. I knew it. Nagtatampo nga talaga siya. But can I blame her? Ang panget ng timing ko that moment. I should've known better.

 

How can I prove to her na what she thinks isn't true?

 

"I'm going to South Korea." I blurted. They're all looking at me like I said the most ridiculous thing in the world.

 

"You're joking?" Giselle asked. She lifted her brow at me, "You're seriously going to fly to Seoul kasi nagtatampo jowa mo? That's crazy."

 

I could only shrug in response, "I'm crazy about her. That's why."

 

Ning made a gagging sound. Si Yeji ay nandidiri ang itsura. Buti pa si Ryujin, she looks proud and giddy lang. Pareho talaga sila ni Winter na hopeless romantic. No wonder they became really close back in college.

 

They all busied themselves sa pagmemessage sa group chat. For sure inaasar yung dalawa. Meanwhile, I texted Winter kaagad. Mag gagalit galitan ako. Baka effective para mawala na yung tampo niya.

 

Me: What the heck Winter you're wasted

 

Me: What do you mean wag na kitang kausapin kahit kailan? Gusto mo ba yun?

 

Me: Eh ano naman if I like your posts and stories? You're my girlfriend.

 

Me: You think I don't wanna talk to you? :( Do you want me to go to Korea myself and prove you wrong? Because I will do that!

 

Heh. I'm being serious. I'll talk to her parents tomorrow. I just feel the need na magpaalam sa kanila. Especially sa mom niya.

 

She didn't reply and I'm getting frustrated. What if she realizes she's better off without me?!

 

Okay, that's not gonna happen. I know our love is stronger than some silly tampuhan. But I don't like that she thinks I don't want to talk to her and the only—yes, only—way to prove her wrong is to go there myself.

 

Well, maybe not the only way, but I like being extra sometimes.

 

I still won't stop liking her posts, though. I like doing that.

 

"Ning pumunta ka rin sa US for Win-Win! Gayahin mo si Karina oh!" Ryujin said.

 

Ning looked at her, "Bakit hindi ikaw, Ryujin? Bilang ikaw naman ang nakaisip. Isama mo na rin si Yeji at lumayas na kayo dito sa harap ko."

 

Giselle and I laughed our assess off. Where does she get all her energy to say these things to people?! Natameme na lang yung mag girlfriend. Nakanganga lang si Yeji sa harap ni Ning at mukhang bored sa sinabi nung isa.

 

I swear we live in a comedy show kapag kasama ko sila. Lalo na siguro if Winter was here. It's probably hard for other people to believe that all of us are working and are in grad school. I love them all anyway.

 

I checked my messages. Still no replies from Winter. I bet both of them fell asleep. Inom pa.

 

The next morning came and to no luck, hindi effective ang pag gagalit galitan ko sa baby ko. She even ignored my calls and had the audacity to ask kung tumatawag ba ako.

 

Obviously I was! I asked her bakit hindi siya sumasagot. My acting isn't wavering.

 

Winter: kasi diba ayaw mo naman akong kausap.

 

. Okay, fine. She won. She's still nagtatampo and even though nag drunk video siya last night, it's not enough na mapa soft ko siya with my "mad" tone sa texts.

 

I need to change my ways.

 

Me: Mahal ko.. you know that's not true.. T___T

 

I used my last weapon — calling her "mahal ko". She usually softens when I call her that. Not this time, no. Because she told me na may class pa siya.

 

Winter, y