"H-how did you know that name?" 

But Seulgi chose to ignore that question. For the first time ever, she is brave enough to ignore Miss Bae question. It's her karma for not answering any of her unspoken questions. 

Well how the hell Miss Bae able to answer your questions when you barely spoke about it. Dumb Kang Seulgi.

“If you thought I will leave you like Kim Jisoo did to you, you are wrong Miss Bae. I won’t ever leave you because you know what?” 

Irene can smell alcohol from Seulgi but she wonder how could this girl be so sober despite the alcohol in her system. Maybe she’s drunk right now but judging from her look, drunk is not the word to describe Seulgi right now.

Her eyes are completely focus and firm. Seulgi is completely sober and the other question is Irene’s brain functioning at this hour? Yes completely functioning. Because Seulgi mention Jisoo’s name, of course her brain fully functioning.

Completely aware of what Seulgi about to say and she knew what’s coming next, but she was too late to prevent it. Seulgi always a little faster than she is.

“I love you Miss Bae”

There. There she said it. Irene always knew sooner or later, Seulgi will confess to her. Her true feeling but she never thought it would be this fast. So, Irene knew?

Well...she never blind she was just fooling herself. Telling herself Seulgi won't get the nerve to actually confess to her. But look at her. Coming here all the way from somewhere probably far, running to her house only to confess her love.

A feeling she should never feel for Irene because Irene knew she will hurt her. 

Is it true Kang Seulgi is not Kim Jisoo? Of course it's true. That's a fact and Irene completely aware of that. But the more she get to know Kang Seulgi, the more she find similiarity with Jisoo.

But overall, Kang Seulgi is Kang Seulgi. Kim Jisoo is Kim Jisoo...or was...since she's dead right now. That's not the point though. The point is that, Seulgi is Seulgi.

She's pure, inoncent, naive, and a kind young woman. Just like Jisoo. It seems like she's stuck in the same circle over and over again. She doesn't want to risk that to happen twice. 

That is why Irene cannot let Seulgi stuck with her. She doesn’t deserve her at all. Not when she’s still in pain and stuck with her own past.

Seulgi will only hurt herself in the process and the only thing she can do to prevent that from happening is to push her away. Make her realize whatever she’s feeling right now need to stop.

Irene sigh. Despite how hurt it is to say the truth...no it wasn’t the truth at all. It was rather her way to protect Seulgi from herself.

Because her life never mean to have anyone in it other than herself. Her life was design only for herself. A life she never wanted and even Kim Jisoo can’t handle her after 9 years of dating.

Prove Kang Seulgi will only be the same as Kim Jisoo. She might say she won’t leave her now but who knows what happened in the future? No one can predict the future.

“But I don’t. Goodnight Seulgi” 

It was so hard for Irene to close the door but she have to. She’s doing this for Seulgi. She only hope that Seulgi receive the message and tomorrow they will be back as CEO and secretary. 

Just like their first encounter. Irene being the cold CEO Seulgi always knew and Seulgi being the hard working secretary. That’s it. That’s the line and the barrier Irene would like to keep between them.

“Why you shut yourself away from me Miss Bae? From everyone else?”

Yes. Seulgi is desperate. What else she can do right now? When she try her best to prove everything to Miss Bae but Miss Bae herself won’t open herself up to her.

Why? Why is it so hard for Miss Bae? Seulgi do not know the details because Miss Bae never trust her. Trust. How can a word feel very strong yet empty at the same time? Like it mean nothing at all.

When usually that word would mean every single bit about trust. Why does it sounds so empty when it’s about Miss Bae trust? Maybe because Miss Bae never know the meaning behind that word.

“You said you trust me, Miss Bae. Does that word mean anything to you? Or...you do not know the meaning behind it?”

Does it matter for Seulgi? Whether Miss Bae is listening to her or not she just felt the need to speak her heart out. Perhaps that’s the only way for her to lift the weight up from her shoulder for awhile.

Yeah. Only for awhile.

Is Irene listening to her right now? Of course. She never left knowing Seulgi still standing behind her house door. 

Trust. Did she trust Seulgi? Yes. Then why? Why she lied? Because she’s scared. Scared if one day Seulgi will leave her. The accident is the evidence. 

Irene think she unable to witness another death from someone she care so much. Being left by Jisoo is enough. She doesn’t want more. And she also afraid if Seulgi go deep to her life, she’s afraid the young woman unable to take it.

Too many complicated thing in Irene’s life that even Kim Jisoo unable to help her fix those things. Leaving her on earth wondering what she need to do with her life.

When she tried to end her life forever, someone prevented her. Then what does life want her to do? When she always find herself back to square one? She try to open herself to her family but only pain remain in her heart.

The scars never left her heart even when Jisoo tried to help her. What about Seulgi? She doubt Kang Seulgi able to handle her. That is why she need to let Seulgi go before she can’t. Just like she can’t let Jisoo go even until now.

“I’m always here, Miss Bae. Even if you can’t open yourself to me...I’ll wait. Just to let you know...I can wait...because your my first love”

“Goodnight Miss Bae”

Since then, Miss Bae make clear barrier between Seulgi. No more dinner together, no more chit chat, no more comfort. Nothing. Just like they were in the first place.

Miss Bae would come to the office and hear Seulgi out about her schedule, attend meeting together, and sign papers she need to sign. That's it. Even when Miss Bae have business party, Seulgi never got the invitation.

It was clear. Miss Bae really want them to have clear line between them. She's the boss and she's the secretary. Nothing more. No more external feeling. 

Everything seem so easy for Miss Bae. But for Seulgi it is damn hard. So hard that it feel like it will kill her anytime sooner. Whoever read this from the beginning knew, Miss Bae is one talented actress.

No one can't beat her even Song Hye Kyo can't. Because Miss Bae is very good at hiding her feeling. Almost make everyone believe she has heart at all. She's a heartless .

Seulgi wanted to believe there were nothing going on between them. But how can she believe that? How can she lie to herself saying there is nothing going on between them before.

How? When she obviously saw the changes on Miss Bae. From the cold heartless , to someone very soft, gentle, fragile, and clingy. How can she forget the moment, Miss Bae told her she was hungry early in the morning.

Which made her frustrated with herself whether she should cooked this or that. It was very frustrating and it was her very first time struggling to choose what kind of food she should cook.

Everything she did with Miss Bae, her sacrifices, everything are still there. How can she forget those memorable things in just a week? Perhaps she need Miss Bae suggestion.

That would be fair right? No? Seulgi doesn't know what fair is anymore.

For what she know, she has been a mess. Speak to the eye witness, Park Joy. So is Kang Seulgi really a mess? Yes. Define mess, please.

According to Joy's witnesses, it was to be said that Kang Seulgi has been drinking after work until she lost her concious. Most of it is about Miss Bae of course. Obviously.

Then what next? 

Kang Seulgi is not Kang Seulgi anymore. Well, who is Kang Seulgi before she met Miss Bae? A cheerful person. Kind. Positive.

Then who is Kang Seulgi after she met Miss Bae? Full of curiosity, hard working person, always try to devel- Correction please. Who is Kang Seulgi after Miss Bae pushed her away?

Kang Seulgi...she is more secretive, dark, overthinking, selfless and doubting herself. 

During her drunk talk, Seulgi would always ask if Miss Bae always like this. Make everyone believe she's about to open herself only to disappoint them at the end.

She would make people desperate, crazy, and completely messed up because of her and then just left them. Telling them every sweet things she said was fake.

Kang Seulgi is a freaking mess and therefor Joy always make time for Seulgi during lunch break. But most of the time Seulgi is busy and she usually come to her office with plenty of foods for them to eat in Seulgi's office.

Actually it's more comfortable than eating in the cafetaria. Too many people and they can't speak about Miss Bae of course. No one knows about Seulgi being so close with Miss Bae than just secretary and CEO.

If the employees know, it will be the company's topic. The whole building will know about it and sure Seulgi need to stop the rumors on behave of Miss Bae.

"Still the same?"

"What do you expect? Miss Bae is Miss Bae" 

As the expert, Joy wrapped her leaf perfectly with pork belly, kimchi, and garlic inside it before put it in . Make her look very chubby.

"You know...seeing her everyday makes it so hard to believe everything she said to me"

"Why?" asked Joy.

"It just...part of me want to believe everything she said was true but...another part of me believe that she was just trying to protect herself"

"Look. What I said when I was drunk...you don't have to believe every single thing what I said. She can change, you know? Maybe not now, maybe later? You can wait"

"Well but it's true right? You confirm it with Wendy" 

"Yeah...." said Joy with her apologetic face. 

Seulgi shrugged it. For the first time ever, Joy felt very stupid. She admit she very stupid and dumb for getting drunk that day. If not she won't said the whole truth to Seulgi while she was drunk.

That was...very unexpected and she was hoping to tell Seulgi in a proper way. But she just ruined the whole thing basically.

"I'm sorry, Seulgi" Seulgi sigh.

"Well, thanks. If you weren't drunk that day, when will you tell me?"

That's right though. When she said she's going to tell Seulgi about it, of course she won't say it directly at the exact same day. Obviously she will think about it again and again whether she should really tell her or not.

Joy have always consider Seulgi's feeling above everything. But that day...she just a waste. 

"So?"

"So?" asked Seulgi not quiet understand what Joy reffering to.

"What are you going to do next?" 

Honestly...

"I don't know"

That's the truth. Seulgi doesn't know what she need to do anymore. She lost. Completely lost. She confessed to Miss Bae but Miss Bae shut her off. If she insisted, she's afraid Miss Bae will explode.

She know Miss Bae. She hate it when people don't follow her instruction. Seulgi being a selfless girl when it's about Miss Bae, will do what Miss Bae said.

But she still have hope. That maybe...one day Miss Bae will open her heart. Will God grant her wish? For now, she can only hope. 

It's been another tough day for Irene. Another tough meeting and tough decision she should make. The whole one week has been draining her energy away. Moreover her plan to avoid Seulgi is quiet hard though.

The thing about avoid is that you need to act like nothing happen and clueless of what happen between you and the person you have problem with. Which is the hardest thing Irene ever did.

Seulgi may thought it was easy for her but truth is it never been easy. Seeing Seulgi everyday always makes her remember how Seulgi would always put her bright smile every morning just to greet her.

And then there she being a romantic secretary, bough lunch meal for them to eat together in her office. Something she never done for the past few years after Jisoo's death.

Honestly, she missed everything. But it's better for Seulgi to stop loving her. Irene doesn't want anyone to love her anymore. She need to sacrifice the thing she always wanted just to make them safe.

Safe from what? From Irene's horrible life. A life without freedom. Full of people watching her, eyeing her, spying her. No one would want to live that kind of life especially knowing the person behind her unwanted life was her mother's doing.

Jisoo always taught her to respect her mother but she can't never do that. Even after the old woman said sorry to her...it was not enough. 

Maybe it was her destiny since she was born. Born to be alone. Her 9 years of relationship didn't go well at the end. Which lead her to the Bae Irene everyone knows.

Heartless, cold, and young woman. Or that's what people always thought about her because everything about her always about business and business.

What they don't know is the story behind it. The reason why she let everyone said bad things about her never even try to deny what people said about her. 

Because she's tired of putting care to what people said. She let them determine her image which never interrupt her business though and that is good actually. 

The actual reason why is because she was a heartless, cold before Jisoo came in to her life. It was her protection from the people. You do know the scariest creature is not animals but human. Human are the scariest living being.

After Jisoo came, she changed. Into more...cheeful person. But everything changed after Jisoo's death. She shut herself from everyone even almost end her life once.

Everything went back to square one before she met Jisoo. Now when she met someone...someone that remind her of Jisoo...someone that has been occupying her mind...someone who is very much alike Jisoo but different in her own way...Kang Seulgi.

She need to protect Kang Seulgi from going deep to her life. Her way to prevent that from happening is to make clear line between them. Which actually hurting them both. 

Ding Dong!

Who would come during this hour to her house? Irene had no idea. 

Once she open the door, a very familiar young woman standing there. She looked like she came from work with her black suit. Black suit always look amazing on her.

Especially with the unique logo of her favorite brand, CC. Right Channel.

"Am I interrupting your miserable lonely life?" asked Jennie with her gummy smile.

Irene chuckle. Jennie always have her own way to make her laugh during her miserable time. Well to answer her question,

"Yes you are"

"Well, then please allow me to accompany your lonely life for the night. Is that okay?" Sure. But...

"Don't worry. Lisa is off the town. Oh and by the way, I also need to tell you about my wedding. Shortly, I have a lot of things to talk to you" said Jennie walking pass her even though Irene haven't ask her to come in yet.

Typical Kim Jennie, of course. So...what does she want to talk about anyway? 

When Irene thought Kim Jennie would tell her good news about her wedding, it seems like obstacle always come between their life. Just hear what Jennie say next, okay?

"Apparently, we need to put off the wedding...or the perfect word is to extend the date of my wedding"

"What?!"

"I know right? I reacted the same way too"

"Why? What happened? Did Lisa cheated on you?"

Jennie looked at Irene weirdly. It's a peculiar word for Jennie to hear that word came out from Irene's mouth. No way Lisa would ever cheated on her. If she ever does well Korean army will invaded her house imidietly.

Not just Korean army, probably the goverment spy would also try to kill Lisa. 

"Of course not! Why would Lisa cheated on me?" Irene shrugged it.

"To explain why it's because apparently there will be an upcoming election day in New York and to prevent anything bad happen during our day, me and Lisa have decided to extend our wedding to April next year"

"That's..."

"Too long right? You do know how Lisa can be sometimes. Urghhh, why we need to be in a legal relationship just we're legal enough to have kids?" Iren shrugged it.

But...it does make sense though...why? Irene doesn't know the answer because particulary she doesn't want to talk about having kids and in this situation. 

"Anyway, that's my story. How about you? Are you okay now?"

Are you really okay now, Irene? Yes...No? Which would be the perfect answer? Silence. She can't answer it though. Just thinking about it give her headache and heartache.

Why?

Obviously because she know she did wrong but she can't say sorry. She can't. Because what she did is for both of them. Really. Kim Jennie always able to read Irene's feeling. 

She is an open book for her. Free for her to read. The reason why she came here is not just because Lisa is in the other side of the world but she came here because she know.

Her best friend is not okay. She's here to accompany her when the person who used to accompany her is not allowed to come here. Because Irene told her to.

As her best friend, she can always relate to Irene feeling. It just sometime Irene always so hard to herself. She should be gentle and soft to herself. Especially when it's about love.

To say the truth, Jennie know Irene is not ready. She's not ready to open herself but when Irene told her everything that happened between her and Seulgi, she know she was pushing herself.

Jennie know, Irene is tired with her life. She want to be free. Free from what? From her past of course and from the life she thought she is now in control. But truth is, no. But she still belive her mother still have control in her life.

Not even Jennie can confirm whether it's true or not. But what Jennie can confirm is that, Bae Irene is not ready to open herself yet she force herself.

She still can't forgive herself for what happened to Jisoo back then and it become the reason why she has to close herself from Seulgi. To prevent her from hurting other people.

To protect them from coming to her miserable life and complicated life. 

Like what every best friend would do, Jennie pull Irene for a hug and patted her back gently. Irene need this comfort and when Seulgi unable...no....when Seulgi is not allow to give her comfort, Jennie can and allow.

"It hurt...Jen...it hurt so much" Irene whisper.

She try to not cry but whenever she's with Jennie she would always find herself crying. Hard for her to not cry in Jennie's embrace. The urge to cry seems impossible for Irene to hide it from Jennie. Jennie sigh. 

"Perhaps, it's time for you to forgive the past, Hyun. Jisoo won't like to see you like this"

Is it true? Will Jisoo won't like to see her like this? Irene doesn't know because the girl already dead before she even get the answer. Would Jisoo want her to be like this?

No one knows the exact answer.

Seulgi decided to take overtime at the office. After all, coming back to the apartment only give her headache. She realize her drinking habit is not healthy and perhaps doing overtime would help her stop her bad habit.

Time already speak 21.45 and it's really the time for her to go home unless she want to get herself lock up in the least place she wanted to be for now. 

She gather all her things before leaving her office. Turning off all the electricity in her room and Miss Bae's before leaving the 20th floor. Joy went home earlier since she have dinner together with her employees.

Funny how the night changes so fast. When she used to abandoned Joy to eat dinner with Miss Bae, now things doesn't work really well between them, it's Joy turn to abandoned her.

She chuckle at herself. Pitying her life after she met Miss Bae. Since she haven't eat dinner yet since she forget about that, maybe she will cook herself at the apartment.

Or....she doesn't have to though.

From where she is standing after she get out from the elevator and get out in the lobby floor, there's a young woman. In her shot blonde hair girl. Looking beautiful as always.

Seems beauty run down in Bae's family. 

That girl was busy with her phone until she get her head up and cross her gaze with Seulgi's. She imidietly raise her hand high in the air and wave towards Seulgi.

How has it been since the last time they saw each other? No idea at all. It was after Wendy told her she will be leaving to Canada in a week. Well, has it been a week?

Seulgi approach the girl with a small smile which greeted with Wendy's wide smile.

"Took you long enough" 

"Have you been waiting for me?" Wendy nodded.

"Who else would I wait?"

Seulgi was about to say Miss Bae but of course it doesn't make sense when their relationship never been good in the first place. Wendy notice Seulgi become awkward since she realized what she was about to say and stop when she realized it.

Wendy chuckle.

"You haven't eat dinner yet, right?"

"Uhmm...I was thinking to eat in my apartment"

"You don't have to cook though. I brought us dinner!" said Wendy excitedly.

Well, seems like she is going to eat dinner with Wendy.