I constantly asked myself whether double update worth it or not?

You know cause I want to make you guys wait and wait. Making you guys anxious. Hehe...

Anyway, here is the double update because maybe I can't really be active next week due to my pack schedule. Life of being an online student. Enjoy!

"I'm sorry to call you without notice"

"It's okay. I'm willing to do anything when it's about Irene. So what is it?" 

Joy and Wendy decided to meet up in the nearest cafe from Bae's building. As soon as Joy called Wendy and told her it's about Irene, she imidietly rushed back to Seoul.

She was in Myeongdong and it only take half minute for her to arrive in the cafe. 

Joy chose the table right beside the window so they able to see the street view which has always been Joy's favorite though. What does she want to talk about with Wendy anyway?

It's about Miss Bae. Her best friend is hurt now. Not just Seulgi but both of them are hurting each other. She thought she had to do something about this matter because she know both parties for quiet long and she knew when people are hurting each other.

When obviously they are trying to be with each other but because of some reason they can't be together. It just...doesn't make any sense at all! Honestly it's true when Joy was having a doubt if Seulgi able to be with Miss Bae.

But she saw it. She saw how happy Seulgi was and how happy Miss Bae was. Then they come to this state where they are hurting each other. She hate to see this when they are just starting.

"Please stop me if I crossing the line and correct me if I'm wrong but I have this theories about Miss Bae. The reason why she became the Bae Irene we know now. I thought maybe that would be the reason why Miss Bae unable to open herself up for Seulgi when obviously I can see with my own eyes that Miss Bae also share the same feeling as Seulgi"

Just by the way Joy said that, Wendy have some feeling where this conversations are going. But she wouldn't expect it will be worse. She always thought her sister has change.

At least forget about Kim Jisoo a little bit. Well, it seems she was wrong. 

"Continue" said Wendy.

With Wendy consent, Joy continue her thought. Sharing her own assumption and sometime she would pause to see Wendy's reaction only to receive a nod from the woman.

Is Joy assumption, theories are wrong? No. They are all correct. Every single bit she said about Irene. Even if it's not that detail because Joy doesn't know further information of the reason why Irene hate her own mother and her own sister.

But everything Joy's thought was true. It was all damn true. 

"I heard about Jisoo-sshi. The exact same thing happened to Seulgi or that was my own assumption. Did Jisoo-sshi died in a car accident?" Wendy nodded.

"Yes. Technically she saved Irene from getting hit by a car when she was trying to chase Jisoo-sshi" 

"Well perhaps that is the reason why Miss Bae shut herself from Seulgi" 

"What do you mean?"

"Miss Bae blame her parent, your parent for her life. The life she never wanted and then I heard Jisoo-sshi rejected her proposal that day because of some reason. Could it be related to your family problem? I mean it doesn't make sense why Jisoo-sshi rejected her proposal that day when obviously they had been dating for 9 years and more. Then, the exact same thing happened to Seulgi. Only that both parties are okay and fine. Maybe Miss Bae was triggered by the accident and shut herself again from Seulgi because she can't forgive her past"

Does it make sense at all. Maybe. So Joy were saying that the reason Irene and Seulgi are not in good state right now is because Irene unable to move on from her own past?

Wendy went into deep thought about it. She know she need to do something because perhaps Irene has been mistaken all this time. Facts she never realize before.

Poor Seulgi. Why of all people out there she should fall for Irene? A fragile girl that still stuck in the past? 

"I'm telling you this because I know you still care for Miss Bae even though you both are not in a good relationship either. But let's just get to the point. I know you like Seulgi. I can see through your eyes. So...how about you think whatever you will do next is for Seulgi?" 

. Was it that obvious? Wendy look very surprise with the sudden facts but neither she can deny that. It's true. She like Seulgi. But the moment she saw the way Seulgi looked at Irene, she know she can't never win Seulgi's heart.

That woman's heart is too pure and inoncent that were made only for one person. After all, she did wrong to Irene in the past and she wouldn't want to take what's belong to Irene because she still feel sorry for her betrayal back in the past.

Perhaps by giving up her own love would make her sister happy for once. She knew Irene never been happy after Jisoo left. It was the most painful lost Irene ever experience.

"Thank you for telling me this, Joy-sshi. I will think what I should do next" said Wendy. 

Let's hope whatever it is, it will work. 

How hard it is for Seulgi? Maybe for now dealing with debt collectors is alot easier than dealing with Miss Bae. She attend all the meeting together with Miss Bae.

But never once she saw those loving and gentle eyes like she saw it few days ago. Before everything went upside down. How can it be like this? Just because of their ten minute and they went from okay to not okay at all.

Miss Bae has been treating her like the first time she worked here. Giving her cold shoulders. Cold gaze. The once she thought she was a nice person is gone. Not all actually. It just...so hard to believe she won’t be able to see those loving gaze anymore.

What happened really? Why wouldn’t Miss Bae talk to her about anything? Why would she always left her hanging with some many unasnwered questions? Is it really true what she said?

Miss Bae didn’t trust her. She never want her to take care of her. Miss Bae sound so convincing back then but despite how much Seulgi thought it was true, she seem to be having a hard to actually believe thag.

She was having a really deep thought about it during her lunch break. It just so hard for her to believe that. Like...is Miss Bae really saying the truth?

Then all this time, those clingy action...was just an act? Wow. Then Miss Bae should be an actress than a CEO. She would have got many rewards for her talent on acting.

When the time finally hit eight o’clock in the evening, it’s the time for Miss Bae to go home. Does Seulgi want to see Miss Bae leaving? No. But...why is she such a coward? 

Even until Miss Bae reach her car, the words Seulgi wanted to say never leave . It remain there unspoken. Did she regret it? Yes of course. But does she want answer? Yes.

Suddenly her phone ring. A very familiar name showed on her phone screen. Very unusual for this brat to call her. Usually she will be the person who call her. 

“It’s odd to see your name on my screen Kim Yerim”

“Don’t be like that! I called Joy unnie for a dinner party!”

“What are we celebrating?”

“I’m going to have my Master degree’s next month!”

“Congratulation! So you’re paying?”

“Yes”

“OKAY! SEND ME THE ADDRESS”

“Aish! Make sure not to eat a lot! I have budget you know!”

“GOODBYE KIM YERIM”

Perhaps she need to talk about this with her best friend later. For now, she’s just so damn happy to know that finally the makne amongst the three of them will treat her unnies!

You know it’s very rare to see Yeri willingly treat them. So she better enjoy and cherish this moment! 

Meanwhile, the lonely girl become lonely again after how many days she never get those feeling anymore. The reason behind it was Kang Seulgi. Yet she push her away.

Why? You guys might curious about her reason right? For her it’s best if she and Seulgi remain as CEO and secretary.

For Seulgi own good. She doesn’t want Seulgi to end up like Jisoo. Leaving her. She wasn’t ready. After all, with living inside her unwanted life, Seulgi wouldn’t want to be part of it. Just like Jisoo confessed to her.

So what is the reason? To protect herself from getting hurt again. That simple. But Seulgi didn’t receive the message. She saw how the young woman looked at her in the office. Very confuse with her own feeling.

Irene should admit it hurt to see Seulgi hurting because of her. But with this life...no one would want to be part of her life. Broken family, a dark past, famous for being cold, and just her. 

She remember when Seulgi told her why she began to grew fond of her. It’s because Irene is Irene. How does it make any sense? Make it as the reason why Seulgi began to like her when she hate her before. For being rich and famous.

Only to know slowly that she never wanted this life. She hates it even hate her own mother for giving her this life. How can Seulgi like her for being her?

Why it felt so damn familiar? It was like her first time together with Jisoo. When Jisoo told her how she love being with Irene just because she can be herself. She know when Irene went to work, she will never be herself. Going to business meeting, being so serious, that us her trueself.

But going to business party, smiling, and be kind to her father’s business partner, she was never been the true Bae Irene. She was the Bae Irene her parent made. A young woman who is very smart at faking smile.

Seulgi remind her of Jisoo. But something about Seulgi is different from what she experienced with Jisoo. Like despite how many times she heard her arguing with Wendy and maybe her mother once, Seulgi never asked her why.

Never search for answer. Never even told her what she did to Wendy and her mother was wrong. Sometimes even stranger would judge her for something they thought very wrong. And Seulgi was a stranger but she never gave her those judgement eyes.

While Jisoo...she would always remind her to respect her mother everytime everyday. Until one day it stop. Irene should have notice it was the day when Jisoo were testing her. Testing her if everything she told her before Irene would do it without her telling her what to do.

She should have realize it and therefor maybe Jisoo won’t rejected her proposal. And perhaps she will be here together with her.

But Seulgi....despite hearing those arguments, yelling, and screaming, Irene never once saw her judging her. What’s surprising was that Seulgi invited her to an art gallery. To cool herself down. Which was very fun because she never been to an art gallery before since Jisoo doesn’t want to go.

With that fact, it only make sense for Irene to push Seulgi away. Because she doesn’t deserve her. Kang Seulgi deserve better than Irene. A fragile young woman. Seulgi desever way better than Bae Irene because Bae Irene still stuck in the past. Not willing to leave the past behind because she can’t leave without her girlfriend consent.

Not when the reason of her late girlfriend death was because of her. If she want to leave, she need to know if Jisoo give her the consent. The problem is that the girl is dead and there is no way she able to get that answer.

Sitting on the edge of her bed, Irene sigh. The dark, lonely feeling suddenly become very unfamiliar after having few days without those feeling. When usually Irene able to handle the lonely feeling, weird how few days without those feeling able to change her so fast.

Kang Seulgi have the those effect on her yet she push her away. It's for the best. 

Irene took the photo on her night desk beside her bed. A picture of her and Jisoo smiling to each other. She remember they took this picture during their vacation which happened to be their last vacation. 

Why it has to be her? Why? Wouldn't it be make more sense if she die instead of Jisoo? She never wanted to have this life but why it has to be Jisoo? The girl who never done anything wrong. Why?

"Kim Jisoo! Wait!" Irene yelled.

Chasing over Jisoo on the street, didn't even care with the padestrians looking at her weirdly. What she need to do right now is to get more explanation from Jisoo. No. 

She need to hold Jisoo from leaving her. She can't leave her. Not when the only person keeping her sane in her crazy life is Jisoo. Not when they already spend 9 years of dating.

Not when Bae Irene already fall so damn hard for Kim Jisoo. She can't do that. More like Irene cannot let Jisoo go. 

"Kim Jisoo!" 

Irene grabbed Jisoo wrist and prevent her from walking away. 

"Why? Why can't you give me more time?"

"Joohyun. I give you many times to change. To forgive your parent but you never try"

"B-because I ca-"

"You can't. I know. That's why I can't be your wife, Hyun"

"Wait, wait! Jisoo. It doesn't make sense! I-I...It's not my fault!"

"Life never fair, Joohyun. You know that and even when you realize that you never try to forgive your parent. Yes they are wrong but not of us are perfect, Hyun. I forgive my parent for making me suffer during my high school. I pay everything with the money I got through part time. From there on, I've been very thankful for the life my parent gave me. Have you....ever thought about that?" 

Have Irene ever thought about that? No. Absolutely not because the scars...is too deep. She's been hurting since she was a child and the scars remain there for the rest of her life.

She always hate it when Jisoo keep on reminding her to respter her parent when obviously it's so hard for her. It was like she was asked to be fake again when the least thing she want to do in her life is to be fake.

Hre parent invited her to business party. Faking smile to those dirty business partners only to grab their attention more and more. To let them invest more to Bae's company. 

When Jisoo came everything change. She can be herself when she's with her. But sometimes Jisoo always told her to respect her mother which felt like she was told to be fake. Again and again.

But if that what Jisoo want...she will try her best to change.

"See? That's what I thought. Those thought never cross your mind, right?"

Just when Jisoo about to walk away again, Irene manage to grabbed her wrist again. Prevent her from walking away. 

"Jisoo, please. I love you. If you want me to change, I'll change. I try my best to-"

"You're too late, Hyun" 

Where the hell her inoncent, smiley, and cheerful Kim Jisoo? What Irene see right now is not her Kim Jisoo. Her eyes full of disappointment. Something Jisoo never show to Joohyun this whole time.

Is Jisoo disappointed at her? 

"I suggest we should take a break for awhile. At least until you cool down and change your mind" said Jisoo.

"Wait! Are you breaking up with me?"

"Maybe? I don't know. I just...I need time"

How can a beautiful and romantic proposal change into a complete disaster? Now Jisoo asked for a break? Everyone who is in a relationship knew what they mean by 'take a break'.

Obviously, Kim Jisoo asking for a break up. Yet again it all because of her life. Her life is the reason why she can't respect her parent. It also become the reason why Kim Jisoo cannot marry her and be her wife.

When basically Irene already imagine what would it be like to spend her whole life with Kim Jisoo by her side. Only that now all her imagination ruin because of her parent.

Without her realizing, Jisoo already left as soon as her grib loose its strenght. No. No. She's not letting Jisoo go. No. She will beg and beg and beg until Kim Jisoo believe she will change.

And so, Joohyun chase over Jisoo again, never stop calling her name. But Jisoo ignore her and keep walking away, crossing the street when it's green. 

But when Joohyun about to cross the street, the greenlight turn to red. Did Joohyun care about it? Of course not. Her eyes only focus to one person and that is Kim Jisoo.

She regret her decision. If only she stop that day. If she wasn't being reckless that day, Kim Jisoo is still alive in the present day. But she didn't. She died. Because she saved Joohyun from a car coming closer to her in high speed.

That very moment, Joohyun freeze on her spot, realizing maybe today will be her last day. Only to open her eyes, feeling hurt on her back due to the sudden hit on the solid street.

She realize she's alright but she remember someone pushing her away. Her eyes still blurry but she can see a woman lying on the ground with blood pool surrounding her.

A very familiar outfit and figure, lying on the ground not moving at all. Joohyun give her best to stand up but she can't. She take her last remaining strenght, crawling over to the figure that lying on the ground.

To her surprise, it was Jisoo. Eyes close, not moving her body. Blood surrounding her and at that very moment, Joohyun realized she just made a big mistake. 

"Jisoo! Kim Jisoo! No. No! Wake up! Wake up! HELP! HELP! PLEASE CALL THE AMBULANCE! HELP!" 

She pull Jisoo to her lap, not wanting her lying down on the cold solid street. No. Jisoo cannot die yet. No. She cannot. 

"Kim Jisoo! Pabo! Why did you do that? Wake up!" 

Even when she's on the edge of death and alive, Irene can see Kim Jisoo smirking. Her usual smirk even it's a bit weak but Irene can see Jisoo smirking.

"Stay alive, Kim Jisoo! This is not funny!"

"I...have to"

"What? No. Stop talking. Is the ambulance here yet?!"

"It'll be here in a moment"

Irene get her eyes back to Jisoo who still have her eyes close but slowly the girl open her eyes. Looking a bit tired and drained. 

"Stay with me Kim Jisoo. Stay with me"

Then they can hear the sirene coming to their way. The medical team imidietly move Jisoo to the ambulance and Joohyun get in the ambulance as well. 

She have her hand holding Jisoo hand. She hold it tightly not wanting to let Jisoo go. Not now. Jisoo still manage to smile a little and Joohyun can feel her hand holding her though it's weak but she feel less worried knowing Jisoo still with her.

"Stay with me, Jisoo. I will save you no matter what" said Irene.

"J-Joo-hyun-ah" 

"I'm here, Jisoo. I'm here" 

Jisoo have her eyes staring at Joohyun weakly. But she still can see Joohyun face clearly. She smile a bit. Feeling bitter knowing the fact that even when Joohyun cry, she still look beautiful as always.

Here is a fun fact. Jisoo never jealous of Joohyun's life. Never. Even when she barely survive financially during high school, she managed to survive though and never once she jealous of Joohyun's rich life.

Never. But she is jealous of one thing about Joohyun. That is her beauty. Whatever she's doing she will always look pretty. Even with blood streak cover her face, Joohyun still look petty.

It was like she seeing a vampire infront of her. One beautiful vampire. 

"Y-you l-look b-b...beau-beautiful" said Jisoo whispering.

Irene cannot believe during this serious time, Jisoo still manage to throw jokes and compliment. She need to focus on surviving. 

"Shut up! Don't say anything. You need to keep your energy!"

But Jisoo know she can't. It's like her time to go because she see white light behind Joohyun like it was her sign to go. She pray to God. Asking her beloved Father for another time before He take her away forever from Joohyun's side.

She need time to talk to Joohyun. Remembering every single thing about Joohyun. God is her friend. She always sure she has the best relationship with God and therefor, God will answer her prayer.

Once they arrive in the hospital, Joohyun was about to leave to call for a doctor she knew when Jisoo hold her from going.

"Jisoo, I need to call doctor Choi. Wa-"

"No. Joo-hyun...l-listen to me"

"Jisoo I-"

"Live...the life...you...wanted. Live...m-move on" said Jisoo.

Irene knew what Jisoo mean by that and she refused to do that. She refused to do that because she know Jisoo will survive. She have to no matter what because Irene owe Jisoo her life for saving her earlier.

She need to save Jisoo no matter what.

"No. You are going to live. Now stop talking nonsense!" 

"I love you" 

It was Jisoo last word before she went inside to the operating only to get notice that she has gone even before the operating began. They did their best to bring Jisoo heart beat back.

But nothing came as a good result.

Doctor Choi gave Joohyun the bad news and said her condolonces to Joohyun. This whole thing was unreal for Joohyun. She refused to believe it. So she called someone.

Someone she barely even stay in contact after years of living in Canada. She's a doctor so she know whether Doctor Choi was saying the truth or not.

Joohyun let Wendy talked to Doctor Choi as they talked in medical words. None of those word make sense to Joohyun and she keep on hoping this isn't real.

"They checked her heart beat with EKG and use defibrillator when they notice her heart beat suddenly stop. But they cannot find her heart beat after doing two times of defibrillation. I'm sorry Irene. Jisoo's gone"

"Someone must have hit your head hard, right Kim yerim?" said the drunken Joy.

"Oh my god. Is she seriously drunk? How many did she drink anyway?" asked Yeri and Seulgi just shrugged it.

Well, amongst the three of them, Joy have the lowest alcohol tolerances. How many she drink? Three shot of soju, perhaps? Seulgi and Yeri were busy talking about Yeri's graduation. 

"And you! Kang Seulgi! You don't deserve to be treat like this by Miss Bae"

This time, Seulgi attention avert from the alcohol to Joy. She's drunk talking right now but it seems like Joy knows what she's talking right now. 

Meanwhile, Kim Yeirm who doesn't understand the situation could only stare at Seulgi looking a bit confuse. Yeri didn't know what happened to Seulgi of course. She was busy with her thesis.

"Miss Bae? She's your boss, right unnie?" 

"Yeah..."

Honestly, Seulgi doesn't want to talk about Miss Bae right now. She agreed to come because they are going to celebrate Yeri's graduation and she know she can forget about Miss Bae for awhile.

At least forgetting her feeling towards Miss Bae for awhile and all of her unanswered questions. But it seems Joy have something to say to her.

"Yes! And you know what? They like each other but Miss Bae was stuck with her past. Come here, Seul. Let me tell you something okayyyy???" said Joy as she pulled Seulgi closer to her.

Of course, Seulgi almost got her head hit the table due to Joy's strenght. Nevertheless, she manage to avoid the sudden hit. Since Yeri didn't know anything, she decided to listen. 

Maybe she could find slightest insight of what was going on between Seulgi unnie and Miss Bae before. 

"Joy, you're ing drunk"

"Shtt! I'm about to tell you secret. Okay. Listen! Miss Bae ing love her late girlfriend. I just confirm it with Wendy and it was true! Jisoo-sshi died in a car accident. It was said that Jisoo-sshi was trying to save Miss Bae but then she got hit instead of Miss Bae! Oh! She also hate her life! For being rich and stuffs. I heard she was breaking up with Jisoo-sshi. OH! No. Her proposal was rejected by Jisoo-sshi because Jisoo-sshi want a normal life! That part...I'm not quiet sure actually! Hehe..."

BANG!

Just like that Joy left Seulgi hanging as her head went heavy and eyes start to close and there she goes. Collapsed literally infront of Seulgi and Yeri. Leaving Seulgi with more questions and questions.

What the hell just happened? Where did Joy got those information? 

"Ya, Park Joy! Where do you get those information? Ya!" 

But it useless since Joy already drifted to dreamland. Seulgi have the worse best friend ever. Meanwhile Yeri who heard everything couldn't exactly follow what's going on.

One thing she know for sure is that, her unnie, her Seulgi unnie, like Miss Bae a lot. Funny as she remembers back to when Seulgi told her she hated Miss Bae. 

Now look how the night changes so fast. Seulgi begin to like Miss Bae. Sadly, she can't say how much she like Miss Bae because it seems MissBae already close herself from Seulgi.

After the accidnet Yeri do not know exactly the details about it. Seeing Seulgi unnie quiet busy with her mind, seems to be trying to understand the whole information, Yeri sigh. 

Perhaps next thing she will say would be the most wise words she ever say.

"Seulgi unnie"

Seulgi just hummed.

"If you love her then just confess, unnie! Why it has to be so hard to love someone?"

Why it so hard to love someone? Seulgi doesn't know. It was more like...why it so hard to handle Miss Bae? Maybe because Miss Bae never try to open herself.

She want to but something was holding her back and maybe that is because she, Kang Seulgi, resemble Kim Jisoo. In ways Seulgi do not know which of hers resemble Kim Jisoo.

Maybe the accident that happened last time?

She could only think that one out of everything about her. One thing for sure...she is not Kim Jisoo. She's not like. If Miss Bae thought she will left her like what Kim Jisoo did to her...Miss Bae is wrong.

For the first time ever, Miss Bae is wrong. She is wrong about her. 

"If you can't confess because of your social status, your insecurity, then them, unnie. You deserve Miss Bae. Now it's your choice. Confess...or not. And you'll regret your choice in the future" 

2.18 am. 

Who would banging her door at this hour when obviously everyone are trying to sleep and take a rest after a long day at work? Maybe thief? But thief won't banging through her door for money.

Plus, there won't be any thief brave enough to come to her house because she installed high security cameras and guards to prevent any criminals coming to her house.

So it's impossible.

Then who would it be? Who is brave enough to knocking on her door and waking her up from her sleep? A sleep she barely even get. Still wearing her pajama, she turn the light in her house on, walking down the stairs.

Still wondering who the hell is this crazy person.

When she open the door, to her surprise it was none other than the person she's trying to avoid. 

She looked like she was running because her sweat is covering her face. Did she just run all over to her house to wherever she was before? Why?

"Seulgi-sshi, what are you doing? People are tryi-"

"I'm not her, Miss Bae" said Seulgi.

Who?

"Who?"

Still trying to get as much air to her lung because honestly, Seulgi ran for like...2 kilometers from where she was. This urgent and she felt the need to meet Miss Bae this instance.

And so, Seulgi took deep breathe and look into Miss Bae eyes before saying,

"I'm not Kim Jisoo, Miss Bae"