Enjoy the ride to heartbreaks. Regards,

Annoying Author^^

“Is it good?”

Miss Bae nodded excitedly. Her eyes would wide open and nodded cutely. Seulgi found Miss Bae very cute because she seems to enjoy the food. 

It makes her wonder if Miss Bae ever taste street food before. The question just slip because Seulgi thought it’s okay to ask this question.

“Have you ever eat street food before, Miss Bae?” 

Did Irene expect Seulgi to ask that question? Well for what Irene know Seulgi rarely ask her questions outside work stuffs. 

Is she uncomfortable with the question? A little but it’s normal for Seulgi to ask that question.

“I have...long time ago” said Irene.

She try her best to control her feeling. Not wanting to feel sad and show her weakness infront Seulgi. But it always confusing how Seulgi able to make her want to show her weakness. 

Even when she try her best, Seulgi notice the hidden sadness behind Miss Bae sentence. Perhaps coming here brought back memories Miss Bae try to forget. Oh . Did she just ruin the moment?

When Seulgi about apologize, Miss Bae cut her. Also notice the sudden mood change.

“It’s alright. Not your fault anyway”

“Sorry Miss Bae”

“Told you it’s alright”

Despite seeing a smile on Miss Bae face, Seulgi know it’s not the happy smile. It was rather sad and mourning. One thing for sure, Miss Bae still stuck in the past. Perhaps leaving this place would help Miss Bae smile a little.

“Ah! I think I need hot chocolate. Where is the convenient store? Ah! There it is!”

Irene can’t hide herself from laughing. Seeing how cute Seulgi try to broke the awkward and sudden mood changes between them. Maybe that was the very first time Seulgi heard Miss Bae laughing so loud.

And that would be Irene first time ever, laughing so loud and free. Been very long time since the last time she laugh like that. It felt nice.

So they went to the convenient store bought two cup of hot chocolate. Sit infront of the convenient store, admiring the beautiful night view. Mesmerizing the view like there is no tomorrow.

Perhaps that is true. No one knows what happen tomorrow. Best to enjoy today.

“Thank you for accompany me tonight”

“No problem, Miss Bae. It was very fun for me” Irene smile.

“Me too”

Seulgi chuckles as they continue walk under the night view to where Miss Bar is park right now. They need to cross the road.

As they wait for the green light to turn red? Both of them standing side by side. Busy with their inner thought. What do you guys think Seulgi is thinking right now?

She wonder what it feels like to hold Miss Bae hand and walk hand to hand with her.

But will Miss Bae be surprise with it? Uncomfortable perhaps? Well she wouldn’t know if she haven’t try right? The question is will she sacrifice her life for it? 

There is a lot of possibilities. One Miss Bae would be very surprise and let her hand go. Two Miss Bae would sue her for ual harassment. Three Miss Bae would fire her this instant. But she rather Miss Bae decline her offer than the three option.

So will she hold her hand? Maybe no. Because she just lost her chance.

The light turn red and it’s time to walk cross the road. It was very normal until suddenly a very fast car coming to her. She should be running by now but maybe this is what people do when they are surprise.

All of a sudden she doesn’t know what to do. Seems like avoiding the car would be hard. Is this her destiny? She do not know. But if it is her destiny that perhaps she need to ask God why.

“KANG SEULGI!”

It happened so fast. She felt her body being dragged away from the street forcely. Fell to the ground hardly with someone fell on top of her.

What just happened? 

It was like years ago. When she chase Jisoo after she asked for a break up. Irene was running like a mad person. Trying to chase Jisoo when suddenly a car coming towards her when she crossing the street. 

She thought it will be her last day on earth. But she was wrong. It was her last day having Jisoo beside her.

What happened just now went so fast. They were crossing the street when a car in high speed coming right towards them. Seulgi would be the first person to get hit and Irene prevent it by pulling Seulgi away from the street back to the side walk. 

Landing on top of Seulgi, heart beating so fast like adrenaline. 

It was like a flashback. Going back to square one. Where her pain begin. The source of her pain.

“Miss Bae, are you alright? Are you hurt somewhere?”

Seulgi voice waking her up from her own thought. Realize what just happened she quickly get up and try to recover from the current event. 

Unfortunately she unable to control her emotion and the event trigger her memories. The bad one. The one that make her blame herself for Jisoo’s death because it’s true.

Jisoo died because of her. 

“Miss Bae?”

“I-I need to go”

“Miss Bae, let me take yo-“

"Please leave me alone"

But Seulgi refuse to do what Miss Bae told her because this whole thing really confusing for her and very unexpected. So she try again to take a step closer to Miss Bae only to notice the young CEO move backaway from her.

Like she saw a ghost, Miss Bae face look very scared and panic. What happened? Did the event scare her? 

"Miss Bae I-"

“Leave me alone!”

Before Seulgi could even reach for Miss Bae hand, she had run away. Running to her car without waiting for Seulgi. Leaving Seulgi behind confuse of what just happened and why the hell Miss Bae reacted that way.

What just happened?

The only person who can make Seulgi awake all night long even when she very value sleeping is only Miss Bae Irene herself. Yes. She cannot sleep last night. Even went back home with empty feeling and confused.

She didn't even greet Joy who stared at her like she saw a zombie. But it's true though. Seulgi eyes were empty, no energy, and she look very confuse. Something Joy never seen before. 

Joy tried to talk to Seulgi but the girl locked her door and didn't let Joy came in. Until the next morning, Seulgi still remain sitting on her bed. Looking to emtpy spaces in her bedroom.

"Ya, Seulgi! Aren't you going to work now? You don't want to see Miss Bae?"

Maybe yes. Maybe no. 

She's really unsure if it's alright to come to work today. After what happened yesterday, she wonder if Miss Bae would want to see her. Why would Seulgi said that?

Because you need to see how Miss Bae looked at her last night. Her eyes looked so fragile, terrified, and scared. As if she just saw a ghost. For sure, when she almost got hit by the car, something must had trigger Miss Bae.

Something she do not know what. Perhaps Miss Bae will be able to explain to her later. But why would she hope Miss Bae explain things to her? Maybe because she saw the changes in Miss Bae?

That slowly she's trying to trust her and maybe this is where Miss Bae should trust her.

Despite having hard time to choose whether she should come to office or not then she remember. Miss Bae schedule is full for today and she should come in.

Or else she will see angry Miss Bae and she do not want to see that. Not after what happened last night. So she gather herself up, pick the outfit for today before opening the door and saw Joy looking at her weirdly.

"Usually you are excited for work" said Joy.

But Seulgi is not in the mood for jokes, so she walk pass Joy and get out from their apartment. Of course Joy notice how Seulgi mood change and she never saw Seulgi like this before.

She is sure, something happened last night. Dealing with angry Seulgi, moody Seulgi will never do anything good. Joy knows that and she know what to do with it.

In the car~

“Aren’t you going to talk to me what happened last night?”

“Would it change anything if I talk about it?” Said Seulgi rudely which very unexpected since Seulgi barely gets mad at Joy.

But then Seulgi realized how rude she was and sigh. She shouldn’t let her emotion infected Sooyoung’s mood first thing in the morning. 

“I’m sorry. It just...Miss Bae” said Seulgi finally confessing what happened.

Joy would have lie if she said she wasn’t offended with the way Seulgi act towards her. They are best friend after all and Seulgi would always talk everything out with her when things don’t go the way she wanted.

When she heard the reason why, it could be something really bad happened last night. 

“Want to elaborate more?” Asked Joy. 

She knew Joy intention is nice and she never meant to hurt Joy. It just...she so confused with what happened last night. And it seems every answer she have in her mind does not fit perfectly with the situation.

It only make her realize even more that she don’t know anything about Miss Bae at all. Maybe if she knew Miss Bae more than just her boss, maybe she could do something last night. Maybe...

So, Seulgi told Joy everything that happened last night. She’s not living single details on what happened last night. Joy even asked if she hurt herself anywhere and if she want to go to the hospital instead of going to work.

But Seulgi need to go to work because today Miss Bae need to attend another important meeting. Also they need to talk about the collaboration with Hyerin. So basically she can’t be absent today.

“Do you have any thought why she reacted that way? I mean...I’m so confused Joy. Honestly we grew closer the past few weeks. During those week, Miss Bae seems okay but then this happened. She became a different person. I barely recognize her last night”

The question is how much does Joy know about Miss Bae? Just enough? Maybe? She heard things about Miss Bae from Jennie  before. Not that much but she connect all the dots herself.

Not sure if her theories about Miss Bae are right or not but she always keep it to herself. Perhaps what happened to Seulgi last night prove her theory. What theory exactly?

The truth about Miss Bae past. The truth of the reason why she so cold to everybody including her family. The reason why Miss Bae seem to have everything yet at the same time she hate everything she have.

So to answer Seulgi's question, perhaps she should wait a little longer. This is not her story to tell and also it's just her assumption with no clear clarification.

"I don't know" said Joy simply.

Does it answer Seulgi's question? Of course not! Is she satisfied with the answer? Of course not! Is she mad at Joy? No. She just...didn't know what's more she should ask.

Miss Bae always left her hanging with question and questions. But almost none of it be answer. Did she want answer? Of course. Didn't Miss Bae told her she can trust her?

Then shouldn't Miss Bae at least let her in last night? At least said she saw something that triggered her or anything that could explain the way she reacted last night.

Why does Seulgi need clarity to all of this? Because she is confuse! 

Miss Bae always seem so close with her yet even when they are close Seulgi always felt she can't reach beyond Miss Bae. Despite how close their distance are.

That's what been bothering her last night and sure she hope she could fin answer to what happened last night. At least Miss Bae willing to tell her something it would be enough for her.

Better than not telling her anything at all right?

But maybe God never want Seulgi to receive answers so easily from Miss Bae.

Once she step to the office, Kim Bum came by which very surprising because he never came inside the office. 

"Kim Bum-sshi, what makes you came in here?" asked Seulgi sound so surprise.

He came with her usual outfit but Seulgi didn't see any sign of Miss Bae in here. She never came to work at this hour so why Kim Bum is here? 

"Miss Bae won't be coming to the office for a few days, Miss Kang. I came here to tell you that and also Miss Bae asked me to take some of the papers she need to sign"

"Why? Did anything happen? W-what about the meeting? She need to at-"

"Miss Bae need to be somewhere for the mean time. Miss Kang, where are the papers I need to give to Miss Bae?"

This whole thing sure confusing and very unexpected.

Would you be surprise when you know Jennie is in Irene's house? No right? Well would it be surprising when Irene is not in her house at all? Instead of sleeping in her house, Irene is in Jennie's house.

Yes. She went to Jennie house after what happened last night. She decided to be selfish for once because the pain, the feeling she felt last night was very painful even until the next morning. 

She cannot bear with the pain anymore after the accident that triggered her memories. Of course knowing that Bae Irene always able to be strong and calm during the storm, it also a surprised for Jennie.

To be honest, you guys wouldn't want to know what Jennie were doing before she opened her apartment door for Irene. Did Lisa were there last night? Yes. I let you readers to play with your dirty mind for this one...hehe...

So what's happened last night? 

"Please bring me to Jennie house, Kim Bum"

It was that very moment where Irene unable to keep her mind in perfect sane. No. She can't. Not after what happened. If only she was slightly slower than the car, she would have to witness the same thing again.

Like how it used to keep replaying inside her mind long time ago. Even during that time, Irene would always find herself asking for help to Jennie. Just like how she is right now. Begging and begging to arrive at Jennie's house as quickly as possible.

She can't take the pain, the thought, all the memories replaying inside her mind. What she need right now is Jennie. 

Why does it seem like Irene depend herself to Jennie so much?

Irene had known Jennie for a long time and that girl knew a lot about her more than she know herself. After Jisoo died, for short story, Irene almost kill herself. Believe it or not she was ready to end her life inside her apartment.

If it wasn't because of Jennie who found her after Irene literally left her a death note in her office room, Irene would have follow Jisoo's path by now. 

Jennie told Irene its best if she see psychiatrist but Irene refused and so ever since then Jennie promise Irene she would be there for her whenever she need her.

But time went by and Jennie always have plan in her mind. She knew and realize she wouldn't be there for Irene all the time. That is also one of the reason why she decided to quit her job.

She want Irene to practice. After all her mental state is quiet stable for the last few years so Jennie did not have anything to worry about. Until today. 

Pressing the bell to Jennie's house multiple times, Irene do not want to think what is Jennie doing inside right now. Probably Lisa is in there too. But she do not care.

She need Jennie now.

The door open revealing Jennie who look kind a pissed off because someone interrupting whatever she was doing before. But the moment she saw her best friend with her pale face, her look become soft.

"Joohyun, what happened?" 

"Please, let me in?" Irene begged. 

Jennie told Lisa to make tea for Irene. Of course you cannot forget about the dumb Lisa asking what happened to Irene directly. Jennie hit her hard telling her to shut up.

Can't she see her best friend is in her fragile state right now? Irene need to cool down for awhile until she can finally tell Jennie and Lisa everything that happened.

But for sure, Jennie knew something had trigger her memories. Of course it would always be about Kim Jisoo. Jennie knew how much Irene love Jisoo and how much that girl mean for Irene.

Moving on from Kim Jisoo seems very impossible for Irene but with all the progress she saw lately, Irene can. But the question is does she want to move on?

Perhaps the answer for now, she can't. Because she still live in the past and the only way for Irene to finally let go of her past is to forgive her past. Including her mother which probably the hardest part.

The three girl sitting in the living room, two girls waiting for Irene to cool down. Lisa made Jasmine tea for Irene and Irene gladly accepted it. They let Irene stay quiet for a little while until the girl is ready to talk.

"Jennie-ah"

"Mm?"

"Why she saved me back then?"

Of course that question required a very specific answer and also Jennie need to be careful answering that question. But Lisa, the dumbest person ever to exist in this world have difference thought.

"Because she love you obviously" said Lisa which earn another smack from Jennie...hard.

Jennie would definetly let Lisa sleep on the couch tonight because Irene will sleep together with her tonight!

"Joohyun-ah, Jisoo did what she need to do back then"

"Why can't I saved her? I can saved Seulgi but why I cannot saved Jisoo?"

Saved Seulgi? What happened before Irene came here? Jennie and Lisa had to look at each other because they are very confuse. What happened exactly?

"There was a car coming right toward us...but Seulgi will be the first person to get hit. A-and I...I...I pulled her to the sidewalk...I saved her..." 

As she try to remember the event earlier, tears starting to fall down. Her mind flashing back to the year where she lost Jisoo forever. That exact same accident happened twice.

The only differences is that Irene was able to saved Seulgi. But she cannot save Jisoo. She left so soon...

Cannot save Jisoo is her most painful fact and she regret every single thing that happened to Jisoo. She do not deserve Jisoo. Not even single thing about Jisoo deserve everything about Joohyun.

"You did the best for Jisoo, Hyun" said Lisa and for once Jennie agreed with Lisa.

"No...no if I do more maybe Jisoo still alive by now"

"Joohyun. Listen to me"

"No Jennie. If I can saved Seulgi then I was able to saved Jisoo. But WHY CAN'T I?!"

"Maybe it was her time, Joohyun. Maybe it was Jisoo time to go"

"But I wasn't ready...I never ready" said Irene.

It was painful. To see your best friend crying infront of you because of her own past. The past she could not seem to forget and move on. Because Jisoo is her first love.

First love always hard to forget right? Not just that. The fact that Joohyun did everything she could to bring Jisoo back was a lot more painful for everyone to witness it.

Jennie witnessed it and her heart sank seeing Joohyun on the ground, crying so hard. The whole ER corridor filled with Joohyun's sobbing. Jisoo's death was unexpected, yes.

But maybe it was really her time to go and Joohyun is not ready to let her go. One of the reason is because she was about to propose to Jisoo. Starting new extraordinary life with Kim Jisoo.

Before she could do that, Jisoo left. Leaving her alone in this world when all this time Irene would always ask Jisoo for guidance.

The only thing Jennie can do right now is to hug Joohyun. Taking her into her embrace and patt her back. Ensuring her that everything will be alright. 

Nevertheless, whether Joohyun like it or not, she need to move on.

"You need to move on, Joohyun. I'm sorry I have to say this but you need to let her go"

So...does Joohyun want to let Jisoo go?

.

.

.

"I'm sorry...I can't"

Dealing with work at the office never been the hardest if it's not because of her confusion. She realize she's not focusing with her work when obviously there is alot on her desk.

Is it fair to blame Miss Bae for make her like this? Full of curiosity, anxiety because she is damn worried about the young woman right now. No message. Nothing! Obviously nothing.

And Seulgi mind keep wondering where the hell Miss Bae is right now.

Didn't she told her she trust her? For taking care of her? But why Miss Bae seem to shut herself down? Closing herself from Seulgi when she said she trust her.

Miss Bae should open herself to Seulgi...right?

In this situation, what should Seulgi do? She want to do crazy things like she did before but...why is she hesitating right now? Maybe because she having doubt if Miss Bae really mean everything she said before.

But why would she doubt Miss Bae when she already sure to herself that whatever happen, whatever the situation are, she willing to be with Miss Bae. Take care of her like she promise her before.

Yeah. She promise Miss Bae to take care of her. Then what is she doing in here? She should not be in her office right now! STUPID KANG SEULGI!

With a rush, she grab her things and storm out from her office only to meet Joy in the corridor surprise to see Seulgi seems to be in a rush. Where the hell is her best friend going anyway?

"Hey Seul, you're in a rush? Where are you going?"

"To Miss Bae. I need to go now. Bye!" 

"Wait, what? Ya! Kang Seulgi why are you going to Miss Bae?"

But it was useless. Kang Seulgi already left in such a rush. Making Joy feel quiet worried if anything bad might happen to Seulgi because as you guys know Miss Bae is very unpredictable. 

The chance of Miss Bae opening herself up to Seulgi probably not big. Yet Seulgi willing to try without knowing and realizing the consequences of her action.

All she have in her mind is that right now she need to keep her promise to Miss Bae. Like Miss Bae said. Kang Seulgi is a naive young woman. 

Banging the wooden door, Seulgi hoping Miss Bae is in her house and it took her almost ten minute to finally see the door being open. By someone she already expected.

Her eyes look hazy like she just finished crying. Miss Bae look terrible and Seulgi heart sank with the site infront of her. She never saw Miss Bae this fragile before.

Maybe she already did but Miss Bae look more fragile than before. Her eyes are hazy, her cheek are puffy, and overall she look like she haven't take shower yet.

Seulgi take a look to Miss Bae dining room only to see food untouch. Miss Bae haven't eat anything yet.

"Miss Bae"

"You shouldn't be here"

"You're wrong. I should be here, Miss Bae"

Irene sigh. She was hoping Kang Seulgi won't come today because she's afraid. Afraid that she will make a mistake.

"Go home, Seulgi"

"Miss Bae. You said you trust me" 

Did she already told you that Irene do not know what it feel like to be taken care by someone? She did. After Jisoo left she doesn't know what if feels like anymore.

And with what happened last night...Seulgi should not come here. Seems like everyone who are close to her will end up disappointed at her and she doesn't want Seulgi to be disappointed at her.

That is why Seulgi shouldn't come here because Irene will make a mistake. A mistake she should have done before this happen. Jisoo doesn't deserve her and so is Seulgi.

"You shouldn't come here, Seulgi"

"Why?" Irene sigh. This is what she's afraid of. 

"Because I will make a mistake"

Seulgi forrowed her eyebrow. Trying to understand what is Miss Bae trying to sayto her. Mistake? What mistake? She came here because she want to fulfill her promise. To take care of Miss Bae.

She promise she will be here by Miss Bae side. Always there for her when she need someone. So why does it seems wrong for her to come here? 

"I lied" said Irene.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, Seulgi but I can't let you take care of me"

Wait. Did Seulgi hear it right? This is not happening right?

"W-what do you mean?"

"It's best if we don't have outside relationship beside work related, Seulgi"

Whether Seulgi like it or not, she try to look through Miss Bae eyes. Trying to find a slight regret in Miss Bae eyes but she found nothing. Miss Bae is sincere.

Did...did Miss Bae just hurt her? How could this happen? They were fine until now. Miss Bae was smiling and happy before but why it all has to come like this?

So this is what she meant by mistake? This...is very unexpected.

"You said you trust me" 

Despite how hurt Irene is, she have to do this. For Seulgi sake and hers. Irene's life never support her to have the normal life she always wanted. Jisoo already said it to her before she died. 

And perhaps Jisoo is true though.

Irene would never get the normal life she wanted and she do not want Seulgi to be drag into her life even more. She do not want Seulgi to end up like Jisoo. 

Not when Seulgi is inoncent and naive. She doesn't deserve Irene and so is Irene. Irene doesn't deserve Seulgi. 

"I don't. Goodbye Seulgi"