Seulgi can't believe what she saw infront of her right now. Miss Bae is right infront of her. Wearing a very simple and beautiful black outfit from top to the bottom. Is she dreaming? No. Miss Bae really is here.

Never once she thought Miss Bae will come to this museum. She thought the young CEO is too busy with her own schedule that make her hard to even visited this place once she's arrive in New York.

When she's trying to make her eyes believe what she saw infront of her, suddenly the room starts to fill with people. Tourist to be exact. 

Slowly the art gallery getting full of people. Filling the empty spaces until it makes the place seems impossible for them to talk with each other. That’s when Seulgi initiatives on taking Miss Bae out from that place. To a more quiet place where they able to get some privacy.

Awkward fill the air between them. It wasn’t intended. Seulgi didn’t even realized she was grabbing Miss Bae wrist even after they get out from the building.

She pulled her hand imidietly after she realized what she did. What a shame that she only get to feel that warm grib from Seulgi just for awhile. Irene realize she missed the warm Seulgi used to gave her back in the past.

But well, what does Irene expect? They just meet again after months not seeing each other. Of course everything about skin ship will be awkward.

And then now what? When usually, Seulgi have the initiative to bring a topic, Seulgi decided to stay quiet. Is this a test? No.

She just doesn’t know what to say to Miss Bae for the first time ever. Why does it so hard for Irene to speak? Didn’t she tell you before? Anything related to Seulgi would always make her look dumb after the decided to not cross each other path anymore. 

Or that's what Irene want actually. More like she told Seulgi they need to go on their own ways.

To clear things, honestly after Seulgi left, it wasn't easy for Irene. She's having a bit trouble with her schedule and everything seems so dark and cold. Weird at how she usually fond of it but she doesn't realize Seulgi changed that while she was working with her.

When Seulgi left, she lost it. When she thought she be able to survive alone, going back to her usual habit, she was damn wrong. She need Seulgi yes and she realized that but she still scared.

After what she done to Seulgi, hurting her, pushed her away....even when Seulgi said she's willing to wait...does it still apply on her? She doesn't know and that's perhaps why she's having a mental breakdown right now the moment she saw Seulgi. 

Her brain seem to lose its control when it comes to Seulgi. She just realized that after she left. Especially after she saw the new Kang Seulgi. Full of confident she didn’t get to see in the past. Seulgi has changed. A note for herself. 

. What should I do? Thought Irene. 

“Wh-“

“Do-“

They just literally speak at the same time. When Seulgi said she want to wait for Miss Bae to talk, she was wrong. She cannot take the silence between them.

Surprisingly, when she want to talk, Miss Bae speak too. Now the awkward just become even more awkward. How convenient is that?

“You first” said Seulgi. 

Despite how curious she is on what Seulgi want to say, perhaps she need to stop this awkward things between them. And God dammit, Irene. Don't be a coward anymore!

What's the use of going to the psychiatrist if you can't even deal with a real person? You can handle Jisoo's ghost...or her own imagination of Jisoo. Then how can't you handle a real person like Kang Seulgi?

The answer is because it's Kang Seulgi! Everything about Kang Seulgi always make her nervous. That's because she realized her feeling for the girl and how much she missed the comfort Kang Seulgi always make her feel back in the past.

“D-do you want to eat?”

You really asked her that question Irene? Really? And you hope Seulgi will say yes? How dumb are you. Maybe that's because her very memorable memories with Seulgi was when her ex secretary brought her dinner late that night.

They ate together and that's the very first time after awhile she's not eating dinner with someone else. Usually she would eat dinner alone but that day...Kang Seulgi took the initiative to ate dinner together.

And Irene was expecting they can do that again. After all, it's about dinner time now. Just like that, Irene always sound so confident with herself. Typical.

What do you think Seulgi? Will you say yes? She still remember Miss Bae smile when they eat together for dinner. It was the most memorable memory for her.

Because that was the first time Seulgi saw Miss Bae sincere smile. Would she want to see Miss Bae smile again? Yes, of course. Miss Bae smile is unique and fresh. Of course she want to see it again. 

“You should be selfish sometimes” said Wendy.

“Selfish?”

“Yeah. Don’t you realize you have been very selfless when it comes to Miss Bae?”

Selfish. Isn’t that the reason why she quit her job? For once she want to be selfish. That's what Wendy told her. To make Miss Bae realize her own feeling, she need to be selfish. Maybe she should do the same thing right now.

After all, things has changed. Seulgi is not the same Seulgi in the past. She's unpredictable unlike she used to and right now she want Miss Bae to know that.

“No” said Seulgi gently. Still not wanting to hurt Miss Bae feeling

Isn’t that surprising? Of course. Irene thought Seulgi would say yes but she was wrong. She was wrong once again. 

Look at her. When most of the time she able to predict Seulgi, now Seulgi is unpredictable. Seems months of not seeing each other changes some part of Seulgi.

Disappointed? Yes. A little. Surprising? Yes. She felt frustrated actually more than disappointed. 

“I want to go back to the hotel and rest. Still jet lag” said Seulgi.

Well then perhaps this is the chance?

“Let me give you a ride then”

“No. That’s alright Mis-“

No, uh huh. You don't get to say no to Miss Bae twice in a day Kang Seulgi. You can see how frustrated Miss Bae is right now so better to obey to whatever she say next. 

“I'm going back to the hotel too and just to let you know, you’re hotel room is right next to me. Now, please just...do what I say? Please?” 

Did she hear it right? She can hear desperation hiding behind Miss Bae sentence. Well...it wasn’t very surprising to know her hotel room is right beside Miss Bae. 

She already thought about that but never put more thought through it. Jennie-sshi always have a plan doesn’t she?

Is Irene really desperate? Yes. Of course! Unable to predict Kang Seulgi is very frustrating. Back then Seulgi used to do whatever she said. Now it’s very frustrating to know that Seulgi decided to not listen to her.

Sensing that Seulgi about to decline her offer again, Irene would do anything to make Seulgi come with her. She's not giving up. Not now when probably this is the only chance for her to be brave.

Forget the old Irene. Bring the new Irene to the surface right now.

“Calling a cab in New York is a tourist thing. Believe me, you wouldn’t want to call a cab for the third time”

That is...quiet true actually. The cost she paid for taxi services is quiet expensive. She never thought about that before.

Just like that even after month has pass and some psrt of her has changed, Miss Bae still able to see right through her.

And so Seulgi did what Miss Bae told her. To save her money of course. The car ride fill with silence. It was predictable after all and Irene never expect Seulgi to make a conversation first. Goes the same with Seulgi.

The car ride went completely dead silence and none of them talk even after they arrive in the hotel. 

This is really frustrating. Irene know it’s now or never. Because she wouldn’t know if she ever get the chance again tomorrow. 

Irene know she want Seulgi. Months of not seeing the young woman is hell for her. She realize that. Even when she heard news about Kang Seulgi, the only thing came to her mind was how much she missed her. 

Perhaps she never realized this before but she want Kang Seulgi. Since the day that young woman confessed to her. But she was still afraid that day. Months had pass and with everything in her life starts to flow the way it suppose to be in the first place, she realize what is missing. That is Kang Seulgi. She want Kang Seulgi. So, the only way to get what she want back to her arms is to apologize. Action she should have done back then.

“I’m sorry” 

She heard it right. It was only them in the hotel corridor. No one else and Seulgi heard it right. Just before she about to enter her room, Miss Bae said it.

Honestly, she thought she would never hear those words from Miss Bae. After being pushed away and months has change. She want to.

But the pain is too much for her to bear. Even after months has change and she finally get the fame her mother always wanted her to have, she still cannot forget the day Miss Bae pushed her away. 

It felt even more painful when Seulgi have to deal with Miss Bae everyday. Pretend like nothing happened to both of them. 

Seulgi said it before right? That Miss Bae is one of the greatest actress out there. She easily act like nothing happened. But what Seulgi didn’t know is the feeling inside Miss Bae. Miss Bae is a great actress that managed to hide her true feeling very well. Making Seulgi believe all of it were true. 

So it’s possible for Seulgi to think that Miss Bae apologize to her sincerely. Because she made the decision. Saying she’s not ready, she will only break them apart, her life is not for Seulgi, and she did not deserve Seulgi.

All those thing does not make sense for Seulgi yet she obey to whatever Miss Bae asked her to. Not wanting to make it long but the pain she feel is unbearable. 

That is the reasons why Seulgi left. No. She never left actually. She would always find her way back to Miss Bae. Visiting the office building, watching Miss Bae from far. She just quit her job but never quit on looking out for Miss Bae. 

How can she quit anyway? Miss Bae is her first love and despite after getting hurt by her multiple times, she still love her no matter what. 

Because Miss Bae always worth of her love. But the pain is too much for her to bear that made her hard to believe all of this are real. Even after months had pass, many things change in her life after she published her painting, she still cannot forget the pain in her heart.

Knowing that even when she try her best, Miss Bae still won’t open her heart. And it become so hard to pretend like nothing happened between them. So Seulgi need to do what is right. 

“I’m sorry for pushing you away”

Seulgi gulped. Why does it sound so sincere? No. Seulgi. You need to keep your heart solid. If Miss Bae truly sorry, she need to proof something to her. Sorry is not enough. That’s what Miss Bae said to Wendy and she want Miss Bae to do the same. 

If Miss Bae really sorry, she would have know what to do. To proof her sincerity’s. And so Seulgi can only respond,

“Good night, Miss Bae” said Seulgi.

That was the only thing Seulgi could said to Miss Bae.

She want to believe her. Honestly she still desperately knlove with Miss Bae. She want to forgive Miss Bae. But she need proof that Miss Bae really is sorry. So the only thing to do is to leave Miss Bae hanging. Just like she did to her back then. 

Sitting on her bed, staring at blank space since she came in to her room. Seulgi just avoid the topic earlier. Why? Irene know the reason very well. She know she had hurt Seulgi deeply. That is why she took her time to forgive her past. Everything. 

When Jennie said she she need to let go everything in the past, it’s true. Before she can forgive the past, she will never be ready to let someone else in because she still stuck in the past.

Jennie always knew everything about her. She's like an open book and it goes the same with her psychiatrist. Her name is Kim Taeyeon-sshi. Irene should say she's an expert.

After two time of consultation and some medication to treat her hallucination, she's feeling quiet better actually. But Kim Taeyeon would always said not to feel satisfied first. She still have long way to go to be better.

She actually visited her mother and Wendy in Canada before she came to Taeyeon-sshi. When she told her about that, Taeyeon looked kinda amaze and surprise once she heard Irene stories.

"For someone who suffer with their own scars because of their family and anything related to their relationship, it's quiet hard for them to even visit their relatives and everything connected to their own trauma. But you're different. It means you really want to change. Glad to know that"

That's what Taeyeon-sshi told her in their first meeting. Then this is what she said to her in their next meeting.

"If you had forgive the past seen by you going to Canada and Ansan then what are you afraid of? Why can't you reach for this special person?"

Irene never told Taeyeon about Seulgi. She just said there is someone special and Jisoo's told her that she need to come back to that person once she's ready.

You guys know how Irene always insisted that she's not ready to meet Kang Seulgi, right? But Taeyeon has different perspective.

"For what I see is not because you're not ready. You've been ready for your whole life to start over again. The reason why you let this person go is because you feel like you're holding her back from her own dream. Just like the way you did with Jisoo. You're holding her dream to see you happy with your mother and your sister. Since this new person came to your life...you don't want her to be the same like Jisoo. It's not because you're not ready. It's because you're scared that you holding her back from her dream"

Is that true? Honestly, Irene never thought about it. She always believe she wasn't ready to meet Seulgi because she's afraid she might hurt her again. Never once what Taeyeon said to her cross her mind.

Just week after that, Irene went to visit the Kim's. It's funny how they said she need to visit them frequently but when she did visit them almost every weekend, they asked many questions.

Starting from,

"Are you resigning from your position? You used to be so busy in the past"

"Are you unemployee now, Hyun? Why you came here so often?!"

"Is the company not doing well?"

Irene would always laugh at how concern they are. At the end she told them it's because she felt sorry for unable to visit them frequently back in the past. This is the least thing she can do to make them happy.

She never expected Kim Jisoo to leave anything behind. Perhaps hints or anything. Until one day when she visited the Kim's week after she went to Taeyeon, Mrs. Kim gave her something. 

A diary. It belong to Jisoo. Another piece of Jisoo she do not know. Jisoo wrote diaries? How naive she is. Just like Kang Seulgi. Was it hard for her to read Jisoo’s diaries? At first yes but then she pushed herself to read it. This is one of the way for her to really forgive the past.

Mrs. Kim gave her the diary she found in Jisoo’s room which she had keep it in her room. She gave a lot of thought before giving this to Irene. Afraid that it might trigger Irene's memory and her mental illness.

But at the end shethought that maybe Jisoo would want Irene to read it. How did Irene react when she found about the diary? Of course she was surprised. She never thought Kim Jisoo would left anything behind.

The diary prove she was wrong. Again. Honestly, it was hard for her. To read Jisoo's diary. Afraid that she might found facts that Jisoo kept it hidden from her.

It took her a month to finally open Jisoo's diary. Of course Taeyeon contributed in her decision. But she didn't push her to the phase where Taeyeon make her uncomfortable.

She said she can open it once she's ready and Irene knew Taeyeon was trying to push her to read it imidietly because she knew how the anxiety eating her alive.

After a month she received the diary, Irene finally took the courage to read the diary.

To tell you the truth, Irene never thought the diary would be like the one you see on kindergarten. Full of weird images to fill the corner of every pages inside the book.

Very Kim Jisoo's type but she was surprised Kim Jisoo actually wrote it like a child. Here's a sneak peek,

"Nyeongan! It's August, 19 2017! Bae Joohyun brought me to dinner! I was so happy that I got to prank Joohyun for eating the most spicy ramen in the restaurant. She was so red the moment we left. Hehe...got u babe!"

"It's November, 5 2018 and I got mad with Bae Joohyun because she forgot to pick me up. But then she brought me my favorite food! My girlfriend is the best! Of course you need to entertain you're angry girlfriend with food! Food is life!"

Irene would laugh everytime she read each pages inside Jisoo's diary. She also talked about their first interaction. Of course Irene could never forgot about that day. Where Jisoo stood up for her in the park. 

Back in the days, Jisoo was her hero. Stood up for her when everybody aoviding her in high school. It was one of the reason why Irene fall inlove with Kim Jisoo. 

Shortly, it was funny how Jisoo wrote her diary. She wrote her activities she did each days. Until Irene came to the date where Jisoo met her.

Jisoo wrote how her heart skipped a beat when she saw Irene. A beauty infront of her yet everybody is scared of her. She were there to prove everyone is wrong about Irene.

Which lead to them dating. Years pass and Irene realize how Jisoo frequently wrote her name in her diaries ever since they officially dating. Even when she said Jisoo wrote it like a child, some of it were about her true feeling. For example her wishes that one day Irene able to forgive her parent.

Kim Jisoo could be a funny clown sometimes. Always joking around and make her feel happy with her jokes. But there always the time where everything she said has deep meanings.

That side of Kim Jisoo can be seen to the time where Irene read Jisoo's diary a day before she propose to Jisoo. The day where Jisoo wrote about letting go. She said in her diary that the thing about life is that everything will be alot easier when people try to let go. 

Life is not hard. But humans make it so damn hard to live. The only thing to make it easier is to let go. Jisoo wished that Irene able to let things in the past be in the past.

Perhaps that is what she lack of. Always stuck in the past. By Jisoo’s diary she realize she has been disappointing Jisoo when she was alive. Even after she left, Irene still managed to find ways to disappoint Kim Jisoo.

With what Taeyeon said to her and after reading Jisoo's diary, Irene try to think to herself. Trying to find the dots from what she heard from the two of them. 

As a result, what Taeyeon said to heris true. Perhaps all this time she believe she wasn't ready was wrong though. All this time she was afraid. 

Back in the past, Jisoo had wish. A wish she could never gave her back in the past and she regret every single bit about it. She managed to achieve Jisoo's dream years after she pass away.

Her wish or perhaps Jisoo's dream....was Irene to finally reunite with her family. But she can't gave her then. She was holding back with plenty of reasons.

When she knew Seulgi trying to achieve her dream with good opportunity ahead of her, she's afraid if...she's holding Seulgi...if she asked Seulgi to wait for her while working with her everyday...she will end up like Jisoo.

Shortly, she pushed Seulgi away. Hurting her gently without considering Seulgi's feeling. Because she is a heatless always thinking only for herself. 

When Seulgi didn't say anything before they both went inside each other room, she know Seulgi is still hurting. Even when the young woman told her she will wait for her and Jisoo also said that Seulgi will always wait for her, Seulgi is still a human.

She's still hurting and she know she need to do something. Because apologizing to Seulgi will need extra effort to finally get that. She know Seulgi want more than just a sorry. Real proves that she really is sorry.

Irene realize a simple sorry would not be enough. She hurt Seulgi badly. She know she brought Seulgi to her life. Clingy to her. Brought her to the fantasy both people wanted but Irene always left her hanging and confuse.

Because she still can’t forget the past but now she can....why does it seems so hard to reach Seulgi again?

Does she love her? Yes. Very much. Then what she should do? . Irene forget almost everything. Almost. 

Sitting here on her hotel bed, she knew she need to settle the things between her and Seulgi. This is the reason why Jennie booked her hotel room next to Seulgi. Obviously she hope they would make up here in New York.

Irene, you got the freedom you wanted. You deserve the freedom you don’t get to feel with Jisoo. Perhaps this is Jisoo’s way to give you the ideal life you wanted. But sadly it’s not with Jisoo. Jisoo will not be in the picture but sure she will watch over you and Seulgi. 

With all the courage she has in her and all the feeling she has been keeping, she get out from her room. Banging the door next to her like a crazy mad person. If people told her she is crazy enough to come to work on Saturday morning and leave work st midnight they are wrong.

This is the most craziest thing Irene ever did in her entire life. For what exactly? For love. The ing love she always wanted since the beginning. The love she wished it was her Kim Jisoo but God has another plan for her. 

The door open, revealing the monolid girl in wet hair and her white bare face. She look stunning with her natural self. Did she mention that after Seulgi gain her success, she also gain confident?

“What are you doing, Miss Bae? People are tryi-“

“I love you” said Miss Bae.

This time, Seulgi do not know if she heard it right. Probably she’s in her dreamland right now because there is no way this whole thing is real. 

If this is real, she will beg Joy to kiss her multiple times just so she believe this is real. What did Miss Bae just said ealier? Is she drunk?

“M-Miss Bae”

“I know how much I hurt you and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for pushing you away and I promise to tell you everything you need to know about me. But for now please allow me to say this to you” 

When she thought Miss Bae would do something to prove how sorry she is, Seulgi never expected this. Well, even after month had pass, Miss Bae still full of surprises.

She never thought Miss Bae would never do things like this. Well....a sudden confession? In a hotel? After she finished washed up? Really?

Of course if it’s about confessing, she expect it to be romantic but well it’s fair enough. Because she confessed her love to Miss Bae like 2 in the morning. Which didn’t end well. 

Well, no one able to predict the future. Just like Miss Bae said. So whoever read this story since the beginning would know that Miss Bae always full of surprises.

“I love you Kang Seulgi. I really love you” said Irene.

She doesn’t know what else she could do to express how desperately inlove she is with Kang Seulgi. If this is not enough then what else she could do?

Looking at the young woman infront of her looking so surprise, of course Seulgi never expected this to happen. But here she is. Confessing her love in a hotel corridor because she doesn’t know if she able to wait for tomorrow or the next day. Probably she will end up never say it.

“Y-you love me?” Said Seulgi trying to confirm it.

“Yes. Is that so hard to believe?” Asked Irene.

Yet even in the most crucial moment, Miss Bae still have her demanding tone hiding behind her sentence.

Old habit hard to change, right?

“I-I...are you drunk?” Irene chuckle.

“Seulgi”

“N-ne?”

Seulgi can't hide how nervous she is right now because honestly Miss Bae always do things without her consent and the young CEO would always surprise her to the phase where she will lose her sane mind.

Those eye staring at Seulgi deeply and with full of love. Staring at her directly wanting to show the love she has and wanted Seulgi to know it badly.

“Forgive me” 

Just like that suddenly Seulgi feel a pair of lips crashing with hers. Very soft and gentle that Seulgi barely could feel it because of how fragile those lips are.

. Is she dreaming? Because if it is then she wish to never wake up. The fact that Miss Bae kissed her only make this whole thing seems like a dream. Perhaps the thought that Miss Bae probably drunk right now is real. 

This is what Irene want. A very light kiss yet full of meaning. Through this kiss she hope that Seulgi understand her feeling is real. And that she really sorry for what she did. 

As she broke the kiss, she stare at those beautiful monolid eyes she always adore. Seulgi seem still trying to believe this whole thing.

“Seulgi-ah”

“M-Miss Bae”

“Joohyun”

“N-ne?”

“Call me Joohyun. That’s my real name”