Hello people

well, I don't know when I'm going to update this fanfic because I got so unmotivated - I was really excited to write the 60 chapters, but dunno... I'll try.
anyway, i'm going to take my time to write the things I planned for this story and also for Could You Stay? - I'll try to come back soon, but I don't promise anything (and by the way, read this)

and also as I am writing this kind of fanfic after so long, I will research better and more about the growth of babies - but if there are any mistakes here, please tell me :)

And I wanted to say one thing too: I wanted to remember that I - as HyukjaesJellyBeans - only write fanfic on this site and on my blog. I don't write elsewhere (although I have accounts on other sites with the same user). I just found it necessary to say this, because I was worried when I the author on another site said that some people steal fanfics to sell and earn money from others' work - which is very wrong. and as everyone knows, most of my fics are HyukHae and I would never write or sell my stories with other couples

but I hope you like this chapter and don't get mad at me /_\

see you <3

The apartment door slammed so hard that the object on top of the dresser shook, but Hyukjae didn't care. He just stared at Donghae who at that moment took off his coat and threw it on the sofa. Their phones rang, but they ignored them.

The last thing they needed was to talk. However, the discussion in the restaurant wasn’t yet over.

- You know it's three in the morning now, right? – Donghae asked mockingly as he took off his shoes – You keep slamming the door as if you were the owner of reason.

- And who do you think it is to talk to me like that? Will you keep getting my attention like I'm a child?

- So don't act like one. – the brown-haired man shrugged – But it must be difficult, right? You only know how to act like a child.

Hyukjae's eyes narrowed.

- You also act like a child and are a thousand times worse than me.

Donghae looked at Hyukjae and got to his feet.

- Do I act like a child worse than you? – and laughed bitterly – You are the most stupid human being in the universe. Idiot and completely ignorant. Did you really need to point out every mistake I made? And there was something that didn't even happen, but you still made a point of saying.

- And since when is this childish? At Scarecrow, I'm your boss. We aren’t a couple there.

- Apparently we are not a couple anywhere. You have been so stupid with me.

- You have been too.

- I'm an idiot and you're a ing idiot.

At that moment they were silent, just staring at each other as if they were about to explode. And they would if it weren't for the knock on the door. Hyukjae then went over and said that they were solving a problem that was theirs alone and that no one else should intrude. Donghae, who until then was playing hard, bowed his head and started to cry.

He couldn't take it anymore.

- ... – Hyukjae closed the door and looked at Donghae – I definitely don't know what else to do, Donghae. This situation is harmful to both of us.

- I know. – Donghae sobbed and sat on the sofa – The only way to end this is if we no longer exist.

Hyukjae's eyes widened.

- What do you mean by that?

- I mean it's over, Hyukjae. I can't take it anymore and you can't take it anymore. We are at a point where we can no longer live in peace. I feel like screaming when I see you. I can't stand looking at you anymore and knowing that we sleep in the same bed after a fight. It's been really hard.

- And you think that just breaking up will solve all this?

- No. I think... – he took a deep breath and stood up – I'm breaking up with you and resigning.

Donghae waited for an answer, but all Hyukjae did was to take his key and leave the house. He didn't even care about the time. He just needed to get out of there as soon as possible.

If it really ended, Hyukjae saw no reason to keep trying.

He knew that the relationship had failed.

And that memory was constantly in Hyukjae's mind.

He closed his eyes, laid his head back and took a deep breath. Being on the Han River with Donghae after so long was one of the things that shouldn't have happened. But now that it happened, what could they do besides talk? Were they prepared?

- Okay... The baby fell asleep after the scare, but next time I'll kill the idiot who screams like that. – Donghae said as soon as he left Arrow's bedroom. Hyukjae laughed and said:

- I wouldn't doubt you. You are really dangerous. – and looked at the brown-haired man when he sat next to him – But is Arrow okay?

- Yes. He was only startled by that idiot's scream, but I was able to calm him down. – Donghae sighed – I was scared too when he screamed and his house isn't even close to here. – and looked at Hyukjae – How are you?

Hyukjae wanted to lie, but it never worked when he said he was fine and in fact his mood was bad. Then, after a long sigh, he said:

- I don't want to lie to you, Donghae. There's nothing good.

And Donghae knew that.

- And do you think this is the right time to have a conversation?

- Only if you're willing to talk. I feel like the next twelve days are going to fly by and I really don't want us to be like that. We never had the necessary conversation.

- And what would that necessary conversation be? We broke up because we fought a lot. The situation was untenable.

- But what got us to the point where one can't look at the other? We need to have a reason.

Donghae pursed his lips and looked away. He never wanted to dig so deep to talk about it.

- It's difficult when you stop liking the one you love, and that's exactly what happened between us. We stopped liking each other. Do you agree?

- Yes. We were taking it one day at a time, just looking at something that had no future. And I loved you very much, but I also couldn't stand sleeping with you after a fight. It was like it wasn't right and it really wasn't.

- Did you feel good when we were together?

- No. – Hyukjae sighed – The little self-esteem I had was simply disappearing to the point that I hated who I was. Working didn’t make me happy, leaving home to see my mother was torture and all I wanted was for the earth to swallow me up. Did you feel that way too?

- Sadly yes. I remember starting to make excuses for not going out with you. Going to work was quiet, but coming back was torture. Our home was no longer a home as it used to be. We were living as if we were roommates. – Donghae played with his fingers – I would rather to stay at Heechul's house because it was much easier.

Hyukjae nodded.

- When did we go so wrong?

- I don’t know. I think it intensified when we realized we wanted to get out, but we kept going because we didn't want to fail. But I... I missed that Hyukjae who was taking me to a date. That man who made me happy and loved was no longer there. That man who loved me in every way possible was simply in when the restaurant almost went bankrupt. I saw you languish and I couldn't help you. I just knew how to fight with you and not take your feelings seriously. I was so selfish at one point that I decided to start a fight over absolutely nothing. I thought that if the justification was the lack of love, you would have understood me.

At that moment, they were both crying. The tears not shed a few months before finally came during that conversation. They needed to talk about how frustrated they were.

- I thought I failed you, Donghae. – Hyukjae finally said and Donghae's eyes widened when he looked at him – I thought you hated me because I was paying more attention to Scarecrow.

- I didn't hate you.

- And now I know that. But think about how I felt when I saw you getting more and more distant. The times when you got into Heechul's car and went to spend the night at his house because we started fighting and fighting. It made me so angry and jealous. It never crossed my mind that you were going to cheat on me, but I didn't like seeing that you took your backpack and I could only see you the next day and at the restaurant. When we planned that trip to Cuba, I really thought we could get back together and that our relationship would be safe. It was like a honeymoon in the beginning that went wrong when we got back here and the fights got worse. – Hyukjae sniffed and wiped his face – There was a moment when I felt so suffocated that I thought it best to give up. You weren’t fine with me and I wasn’t fine with you.

- And how did you feel when I said I didn't want to date anymore?

- Relief. I felt tremendous relief because it meant the fights were going to end, but I never thought you were going to quit. When I built Scarecrow, you were there. You were at all times and I liked your support because it was always needed.

- But I couldn't continue working there. We weren’t doing well and the work environment would suffer from that. I could imagine the breaking point if we ever had a fight during office hours. – Donghae sighed – And I was also relieved when those words finally left my throat. I think... I think you wanted to break up, but you were afraid of hurting me.

- Yes. I... – Hyukjae sighed and buried his fingers in his hair – I didn't know what you wanted until that day. And as much as I was very upset, I knew it was the best for both of us. – and then took his wallet, showing Donghae (who was very surprised) the ring he still kept – I never managed to get rid of this ring. You gave it to me when we were in Japan and that was very important, because it was our commitment ring. I gave you one too and... I wish it worked, Donghae.

Donghae pursed his lips and hugged Hyukjae as he approached and hugged him around the waist. The two cried what they couldn’t cry when the relationship ended. They finally let those tears express what they both felt. And it hurt a lot.

But it hurt as much as it eased as that weight was lifted off their shoulders.

And when they pulled away, they looked at each other and Hyukjae said:

- I don't want to and I won't lie to you, Donghae. I really love you very much. I thought that this feeling would change over time, but we have spent more time together in the last few months than any time in the past year. And although my feelings are strong, I don't want to go back. I don't feel that I'm ready for something that I don't see in the future.

Hyukjae needed to say this and Donghae needed to hear this. And surprisingly, it wasn't bad.

- I love you too, Hyukjae. This isn’t the kind of feeling that can just be buried as I thought it could. And I agree when you say that it doesn't have a future. I prefer that we stay that way, as we need to find out what we really want and are. And we have to consider that we now have Arrow. He needs us both because we are his family.

- I know. I don't want him to grow up thinking that his parents only stayed together in a failed relationship just to make him happy. Arrow is already going through an adaptation process for a number of reasons, so we don't need to make it difficult for him.

Donghae agreed and let his back touch the back of the sofa just as Hyukjae ended up doing seconds later. They felt strangely lighter after this conversation and the tears. It was as if that end had finally