Twenty-one
Leading Us to This New ChanceArrow's weekend was wonderful.
He went to the park on Saturday and played all day with Hyukjae who was relieved that his son was in a good mood that day. The boy didn't ask about his parents again, but Donghae texted Hyukjae saying that Jangmi advised them to talk to the child about it.
That is, they would have to tell the truth.
Hyukjae didn't know if he was prepared to do this. All he wanted was for Arrow to never notice that difference in his life and live well. But who was he kidding? Sooner or later Arrow would ask and they would have to answer.
And that's exactly why, on Sunday, Donghae was already waiting for them as nervous as Hyukjae. He barely managed to eat that day and if it hadn't been for Ryeowook the job in the pastry shop would have been a mess.
So when Hyukjae arrived with a bouncing Arrow, Donghae saw that it was time and there was no way to escape.
- Daddy! – Arrow jumped on Donghae who carried him and kissed his cheeks – Today appa took me to eat at Scarecrow and then we brought you food.
- Oh really? Thanks. I'm so glad you guys brought food. – he smiled and looked at Hyukjae – Hey…
- Hey... Is everything ok?
- More or less, but come in. – Donghae opened the door a little more and Hyukjae entered the house – You can sit down. Want something to drink?
- I don't think so now, but thanks. – Hyukjae sat on the couch and looked at Arrow who went to the floor and was about to play with Ghost when Donghae carried him again and sat him on the couch.
- Oh, daddy... I wanted to play.
- You can play with Ghost later. Now appa and dad want to talk to you.
- Why?
- Because you asked a question that appa could only answer if dad was there. – Hyukjae explained and held Arrow's hand, noticing how he had a small hand compared to his. And his heart broke knowing it would ruin the child's dreams – Well, you wanted to know why I don't live with you and Daddy.
- Oh, yeah! – Arrow looked at Donghae – Why?
Donghae sighed and said:
- Appa and dad, a few years ago, lived together. It was long before you were born.
- But why doesn't appa live with us anymore?
- Because appa and dad weren't happy. – Hyukjae said – Do you remember when we screamed? – Arrow nodded and his cute eyes were already filled with tears – So, we had a problem like that.
- Why?
- You're still young to understand this.
- But... You and dad yelled. I feel sad about it.
- We know that, little angel. – Donghae said and held Arrow's hand – But when two adults are no longer happy, they need to stay away.
- But appa said he likes you, daddy. He can live with us then.
At that moment, Donghae felt his heart sink. He couldn't even look at Hyukjae holding Arrow's small hand.
- Baby... Appa can't live with us because now dad is dating Kangin.
- And what is dating?
Hyukjae then said:
- It's when you have a relationship with another person. Have you ever seen how Kangin is always with his daddy?
- When does he sleep here once in a while?
- Yes.
- And because of him appa can't live with us, daddy?
- It’s not this.
- Then why?
Donghae sighed and said:
- Because appa and dad are just friends. – and for some reason these words affected the brown-haired man much more than he wanted to admit, but then he needed to explain to Arrow – And we live in different houses exactly for that reason.
Arrow looked at Hyukjae, who said:
- But even living in different houses, your dad and I still love you a lot and we want to protect you.
With that, the boy started crying and hugged Donghae who patted his back to try to comfort him. The brown-haired man bit his bottom lip, but tears still stained his face and Hyukjae came over to hug them. He didn't want to get the wrong idea, but he couldn't bear to see that the most important people in his life were crying just like he was.
A difficult time for them all.
But after Arrow calmed down, his parents looked at him as he said:
- I just wanted appa to live with me and my dad. – he sniffed and rubbed his little face on Donghae's chest – I don't want appa to live in the other house.
And the more he heard this, the more Hyukjae was sure he wouldn't let Arrow meet Yunseo for now. He knew the boy would be sadder now knowing that his parents don't live together because they aren't a couple like Gaeul's parents.
- Hey… – Hyukjae Arrow's hair – Appa doesn't live with you and dad, but appa will always be around. Appa will never leave you and dad.
Arrow sniffed and looked at Hyukjae sideways.
- Promise?
- Of course I promise. – and so he held his son's hand – You know that whenever you need it, just ask dad to call me and we'll talk.
And so Arrow looked at Donghae who kissed his forehead and said:
- We love you so much, little tiger. You know we will do everything for you, but unfortunately some things are like that. – and the brown-haired man hugged his son, who started crying again – This… You can put all your sadness out.
While Donghae hugged Arrow, Hyukjae caressed his son's back. They definitely wanted to wait a little longer to explain why they couldn't live together just so they wouldn't have to see that little baby crying for something he wasn't at fault or couldn't do anything to stop. Before Arrow came, things were already bad between his parents.
It was something beyond his reach.
But over time, Arrow stopped crying. He didn't say anything else and fell asleep while gripping Donghae's shirt tightly. The brown-haired man took a deep breath, looked at his son and felt terrible.
- Shall I put him to bed?
- No. The way he is, he won't sleep in his room. – the brown-haired man whispered as he brushed his finger over Arrow's eyebrow – He's a baby, Hyukjae. Arrow shouldn't be going through any of this.
- I know. I wanted to say that he'll get over it all, but… – Hyukjae held Donghae's hand and the brown-haired man didn't pull it back – It's not your fault. I know you're blaming yourself internally, but it's not your fault.
- But I feel terrible. As a parent, I should have done more.
- And what do you think you would have done? Would you come back to me? You've said countless times that we should be careful with our relationship because Arrow would be hurt. I know that. I understand this perfectly well.
- Then...?
- Then it's not your fault. We've been living apart for a long time and I agree that we shouldn't try a relationship just because we have a child. That wouldn't just be nasty to him, but to both of us too. We were really hurt because everything was still too fresh. And now that we're living our lives in a way I honestly didn't expect, we don't need to blame ourselves for absolutely anything.
- Yes. – Donghae sniffed and squeezed Hyukjae's hand – Thank you for always being by my side. I know we've had our issues, but I'm so relieved to have you with me at a time like this. – he smiled at his ex-boyfriend who smiled – Arrow is very important to both of us, so let's just support and love him like we're doing.
- Exactly. We are a team.
The brown-haired man chuckled softly, but nodded. He then let Hyukjae sit next to him and almost snuggled into his ex-boyfriend's body, but he had to remember that things weren't going to happen like that – although he very much wanted Hyukjae to hug him again and also hug Arrow.
- I think I better put him to bed now. – Donghae said when he stood up – I'll be right back.
Hyukjae nodded, kissed Arrow's forehead and watched the brown-haired man enter the hallway. He didn't have the heart to work that night, but he couldn't stop doing his job. And when his cell phone vibrated, Hyukjae picked it up and saw a message from Yunseo:
"Where are you? I thought you were at Scarecrow"
And Hyukjae replied:
"I am on my way. I just needed to talk to Donghae about one important thing, but I'm leaving"
And Yunseo:
“Um…well, call when you're arriving. And I hope everything is fine"
Hyukjae would have said that.
But instead of answering, he put his cell phone in his pocket and got to his feet as soon as Donghae returned. The brown-haired man offered water and so the older one accepted, drinking a sip and then saying:
- I'm going to Scarecrow now, but call me if anything happens.
Donghae nodded and, after drinking water, they left the kitchen and the brown-haired man opened the door so that Hyukjae could leave. And when they looked at each other, they smiled and then each went their own way. Donghae locked the door, set the security alarm and then went to his room. Arrow was sleeping peacefully, although his cheeks and nose were still red, so the brown-haired man lay down beside his son and hugged him.
And Arrow cuddled up to Donghae because that's how he felt protected.
...---...
The next day...
When he woke up at his usual time on Monday, Arrow rubbed his eyes as he yawned. He rubbed his face on the pillow, stretched his little legs, sat and looked at Donghae who was still sleeping. The boy definitely didn't want to go to school, so he lay down again and played pretending his hands were airplanes.
With that, Donghae woke up and chuckled when Arrow quickly – and not at all discreet – pretended he was asleep. The brown-haired man squinted and tickled his son's waist, making the little one laugh.
- Oh! So you woke up. You can never fool me.
Arrow then escaped and said when he sat down:
- I don't want to go to daycare, daddy.
- Do you still feel sad about yesterday? – Arrow nodded and pouted, then Donghae sat down and said – I wish you didn't feel upset like this, little tiger. You are so precious. – and so he pulled his son to hug him – Alright. No daycare today, but tomorrow you go.
- Okay, daddy.
- And what do you want to do today?
Arrow smiled.
- Can we eat pancakes and wear pajamas?
Donghae laughed.
- This is what you want? – he nodded – So let's do it. First go to the bathroom and don't forget to put on your slippers.
Arrow nodded and ran to the master bathroom while Donghae made the bed so they could eat pancakes – he knew his son would make a mess and didn't want his white sheets to get stained with chocolate syrup.
And after everyone had done their morning hygiene – and Arrow had changed into fluffy polar bear pajamas – Donghae went to the kitchen and started making pancake batter. Arrow sat on the island and watched carefully as he occasionally ate the strawberries.
- Can we watch cartoons?
- Sure. Which cartoon do you want to watch?
- Moana. – he smiled – And can we watch more cartoons?
- Everyone you want to watch. – Donghae smiled and took the chocolate syrup he made himself, because there was no way he would buy it from the supermarket – And what do you want for lunch?
- Ramen and bulgogi.
- And vegetables, right? You always pretend to eat the vegetables.
- But I don’t like.
Donghae sighed but had an idea.
- You like cabbage, so we go to the supermarket to buy cabbage.
- And mushroom too?
- Yes – Donghae smiled - And for dinner?
- Can we eat Bao? I ate Bao at Gaeul's house and it was very tasty.
- With pork? – Arrow nodded – So let's go hiking today.
And so Arrow celebrated. He loved to go hiking with Donghae.
So, after making the pancakes and also making some delicious orange juice, Donghae put food and water for Ghost and then took breakfast to his room. Arrow, who was bouncing up to his father's room, climbed into bed and smiled as the brown-haired man the TV and looked for the movie his son wanted to watch. Fortunately Donghae found it – but on the computer – so they started watching the movie while they ate.
Donghae found it adorable when Arrow started singing Disney movies songs. There wasn't a movie he didn't like, so they would spend a good part of the day there in that very cozy moment for both of them. And Donghae was very happy because Arrow was no longer sad. Of course he could still ask about last night's conversation, but right now he was much more interested in watching The Princess and the Frog – then they would watch Aladdin and then Hercules.
Arrow spent the entire morning watching Disney movies with Donghae, but then he got tired and looked at his father who took an outfit from the wardrobe and said:
- Now let's hiking? We have to stop by the supermarket.
- Can we buy a new toy for Ghost?
- We can, but take your hiking clothes. You won't go out like a polar bear down the street.
- Why?
Donghae laughed and carried Arrow.
- Because that's nightwear. – and so it was with the boy to his room – Now choose a very comfortable outfit.
- Will we bring water?
- Certainly.
Donghae smiled and let Arrow get his clothes. He was an independent child, but sometimes he needed help when putting on clothes or putting on his shoes – only Donghae knew how many times he saw Arrow with his shoes on the wrong feet.
And after they got dressed and got their water bottles, they left the house and Donghae taught Arrow to stretch. The boy found everything fun, so he imitated his father – in a very funny way – and then walked beside him always holding his hand because safety was important.
So they went to the pet shop and there was Arrow trying to figure out what Ghost would like. The man who once went out with Donghae saw them and couldn't get away from them – after all, he was still embarrassed for having done what he did to the brown-haired man. But Donghae wa
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