Through the looking glass - AnnPark (Reviewer: cyberchasefan200)

** Starlight Review Shop ** [CLOSED]

 

 
 
Author AnnPark 
 
 
 
 
Title: 3/5
I feel like there could be a better name for it but I can’t really think of one. I don’t really get Through the Looking Glass. The story is more cute then angsty.
 
Poster/Trailer: 5/5
It’s the perfect mix of cute and romance/soft.
 
Flow: 10/10
 
Description: 10/10
 
Plot: 18/20
 
Grammar/Spelling: 5/10
Someone said form teh door and Hana looked over to see Minho standing there with the phone pressed to his ear.
Should be: Someone said from the door and Hana looked over to see Minho standing there with the phone pressed to his ear.
 
Minho opened his mouth to talk when they saw Onews red car come around the corner and come to a sudden stop in front of them.
Should be: Minho opened his mouth to talk when they saw Onew’s red car come around the corner and come to a sudden stop in front of them.
 
Onew said looking paniced for the first time in his life
Should be: Onew said looking panicked for the first time in his life
 
Hana sat in teh backseat while Minho and Onew chatted comfortably in the front.
Should be: Hana sat in the backseat while Minho and Onew chatted comfortably in the front.
 
It wasn’t like she was blind, she saw him yelling into her pone and heard him refer to Jonghyun. 
Should be: It wasn’t like she was blind, she saw him yelling into her phone. And he was referring to Jonghyun. 
 
 “I won’t let anyone but Minho’ mother and my mother see it before I walk to the altar. “
Should be: “I won’t let anyone but Minho’s mother and my mother see it before I walk down the altar. “
 
I feel you were pretty sloppy with your grammar. These are little mistakes and can be avoided and checked by using spell check. Whether it would be in Microsoft Word or the spell checker AFF provides.
 
Writing Style: 20/20
Very neat and descriptive.
 
Ending: 19/20
 
Overall: 90/100
 
 
 

 

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grldrgn
#1
Chapter 5: Is the story about cl and onew wgm removed? Omg so sad :'(
Pabolicious #2
applied as a reviewer :)))
glowbug #3
applied as a reviewer!
salvatore
#4
applied as a reviewer :)
littlelu
#5
Chapter 101: My review?
pandaeyesxxi
#6
Chapter 109: Thanks for the review!!~
Eyagibba
#7
Chapter 3: thanks for review
h3d1ez
#8
Hi, i would like to help making your shop layouts texts etc
my shop:
Graphic pro - store:
Gives you the best requested layouts to your stories you can get: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/281348/graphic-pro-open-graphic-shop-design-layout-posterrequest
Fake_D
#9
Chapter 104: Thank you so much for the review. Actually 'As Blood Runs Black' is actually a short fic for a contest I joined. I had to rush things up because they set a limit to the chapters in the rules and unfortunately it had to be under 7 chapters(if im not mistaken). So I had no chance to explain what not and what happened to JongUp. I admit it that it was too rushy towards the end because I didn't realize I made the first few chapters too slow. I was thinking of a spin-off for this short story so that I could explain on what happened to JongUp back then that had turned him that way. Anyhow, thank you for the review, I appreciate it. ^^
littlelu
#10
Requested