Title: Romeo and Juliet

Author: morningteaz

I'm aware that this story had been reviewed multiple times before and you already change it after you got the result. So, I review it with the lastest edit you made.

Title (2/5)

It really describe the story but, at the same time, it instantly give away the plot.

Description & Foreword (8/10)

Description

I don't know what to say about your description. I think many author use this kind of description, with but, if, will and all.

Foreword

I personally really like your foreword. It gave me the feeling of how their family punish them both in the most cruel way. Turn out that is just a combined moment in chapter 1 and chapter 4. (And I also read about you changing it.)

Poster & Background (9/10)

Poster

Simple and has a good choice in color. I like the way they don't face one another.

Background

You don't have background. Alright. So I'll just give you points by the poster.

Plot & Flow (17/25)

This is similar to Romeo and Juliet so i think the idea is not original. The flow is too fast at the beginning. They fell in love after, like, second meeting? Feels unreal. If you're child from a mafia, you must be raised according to your parents life. Cold, have no mercy, strict, greedy maybe. It's not a normal life. For me, you can't just love someone in the first meet, with your enemy especially. The rest is good. I give you thumbs up for sticking to the main plot. I know it's not easy.

Characterization (6/10)

You didn't describe the character enough here. For me, at least.

Entertainment (8/10)

Yonghwa and Seohyun are not my biases, but I enjoy the story. One of the action fics that I like, though there are not many outta there.

Grammar & Spelling (8/15)

I'm not a grammar nazi. Even though the grammatical errors don't annoy me, take a good look again to your grammar. Please avoid using the same pronouns again and again in a paragraph.

Example of Chapter 1 (near the end) He knew... He then... He hummed... He saw... He always... He also... He walked... He shocked when he saw...

And your sentence (e✗ from chapter 8,14)

Yes, being the daughter of Seo Im Woo must be make her face is must be known by The Jung.

Yonghwa haven't any energy to go beserk.

Usually 'to' is followed by present verb only... (Example from ch 11, 13)

"Yah! You want me to failed?"

He also hired a local detective to eyeing her,...

And i found this : I even don't know (forgot the chapter). Isn't it supposed to be 'I don't even know?'

Differentiate has, had and have. Don't forget to put the was, am, are, were. Pick present or past tense, do not use both.

Ending (9/10)

I personaly thought the ending is good even if it's wrapped up into one chapter.

Bonus (4/5)

You got 4 because :

It's kinda different with ma expectation. When the first time I read the title I thought it will be very angst story with long sentences, complicated problems and depressing ending. But when I read your writing style, instantly I know there will be a happy ending.

You make the story cycle. There are sad action scene, fluffy scene, action scene again, and the vacation moment. Not all of the chapter angsty.

The plans that Yonghwa or someother made was jenius. Not too complicated. The same with the way you describe their vacation in Bali.

This is good for a beginner, and also well eqquipped : review, poster and trailler. I love your trailler. You even make the timeline. Prove that you put an effort to this fic.

Total (81/100)

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