A Path to the Stars - dawnbyeol (Reviewer: MrsKpopForLife)
** Starlight Review Shop ** [CLOSED]
Title [5/5]:
I like the title and it suits well with the one-shot~ FULL MARK!
Description/Foreword [5/10]:
The description kinda revealed a lot of what’s going to happen. “He has never fallen in love and doesn't exactly believe in love at first sight until he sees Gong Eun Mi” So this obviously makes the reader guess that he’d fall in the love in the end. But then, it made me interested in reading.
The description kinda revealed a lot of what’s going to happen. “He has never fallen in love and doesn't exactly believe in love at first sight until he sees Gong Eun Mi” So this obviously makes the reader guess that he’d fall in the love in the end. But then, it made me interested in reading.
Originality [9/10]_
I think that not many one-shots or fanfics have a scene in a piano recital, found his first love there as well. So I presume this is a very original idea.
I think that not many one-shots or fanfics have a scene in a piano recital, found his first love there as well. So I presume this is a very original idea.
Plot/Writing [20/30]:
I like how your plot was neatly arranged. It’s not confusing yet I know what’s going to happen next. I think that you should make it more longer(in ideas) to make it mysterious. You saw her on stage, then you went looking for her, then telling her how you felt about her. Too short no? But then I’m not saying it’s wrong or something. Just it’s too cliché. But then I liked the ‘Love At First Sight’ thing, it’s sweet. Haha.
Characters [8/10]:
I can say that Woohyun is one of my bias xD And I actually liked his character in the one-shot. The girl sounds cute and innocent yet mysterious so I like her character as well. Good job (:
Grammar/Vocabulary [20/25]
There isn’t really anything to correct but some of your grammar is not suitable.
Examples: “My older brother’s piano recital was going to start at any moment”
It should be, My older brother’s piano recital was going to start in any moment.
“Everyone seated around me were in dresses or suits just like I was.”
Everyone who was seated around me was in dresses or suits just like I was.
“I stared at them, waiting for the start.”
I stared at them, waiting for it to start.
There are others but it’s nothing. Overall, your grammar and vocabulary is fine!! 8D
I stared at them, waiting for it to start.
There are others but it’s nothing. Overall, your grammar and vocabulary is fine!! 8D
How much I enjoyed your story / Overall Excitement [5/5]
It was really interesting and I liked it very much. I liked it enough to even subscribe (: I recommend others to read this because not many one-shot has ideas like yours.
Extra [4/5]:
Poster/Background/Chapter Titles/Chapters Length
Poster/Background/Chapter Titles/Chapters Length
Points for posters, background and chapter titles are not deducted. The length is not too long yet not too little. It’s quite perfect though.
[Total Points: 76/100]
B
Keep on writing! Good luck (:
Thanks for requesting. Please comment above after picking it up and don't forget to credit :)
Comments