Being Alive - Harukai-kun (Reviewer: iamsobizarre)
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Title: Being Alive
Author: Harukai-kun
Title [8/10]
It's uncommon, but it's not really catchy. If I saw this title anywhere I wouldn't click to read it. But it has this connection with the story that you can only comprehend when you finish reading it.
Foreword [9/10]
The description is really good, it explains the story without going any further. I likes how you made the foreword as a scene in your own story.
Also, I don't know if it was by choice you made the text centered, but you could justify it, it makes it more... readable?
Creativity/Originality [10/10]
It's my first time reading a story like this. I've seen a lot of stories talking about drugs and being alone, but not one like this, where you actually go deeper into the situation.
Plot/Writing [20/20]
Amazing. The flow was just right. I loved how you used the first chapter to tell Heechul's story. Your writing is really interesting, I have to say! I usually don't like to read stories that are directed to me - the action being described as 'you do this, you feel this', you know what I mean - but yours was just terrific, really; the way you say "You are Kim Heechul and you..." a lot of times during the story gives some kind of balance to it, I really liked that.
Characters [20/20]
I don't think there's anything I should say in here. Your characters deserve high score.
Grammar/Spelling [17/20]
I spotted a few careless errors and helped you correcting it, other than that, I have nothing to say.
Chapter 1
"onto the high way" the correct work is highway.
Chapter 2
"You're heart is pounding." 'You're' means 'you are'. Should be 'Your heart..." I'm pretty sure you know these grammar rules, since it's the first time I see it on your story.
Chapter 4
"probably because she think you" I don't know what do you mean by this one, judging from how you were writing until now, it just misses a 's', but it would sound good if you replaced it by 'thought'.
"and you tow've got some" Took me a while to get this, it's a typo, right? Should be 'two've'.
Chapter 6
"starring" should be 'staring' with only one 'r'.
Chapter 10
"It's purpose was," Here should be 'its', since 'it's' is the contraction of 'it is'.
"Heechul is on drugs, you Father..." Another typo here, should be 'your Father'.
My opinion [10/10]
I actually read a few comments before reading your story, so I was already prepared for a good story - and it didn't disappoint me. I think you can already guess how I feel with your story. It was so well-written I could feel the sadness, the happiness and whatever the characters were feeling. I read this yesterday all together, except for the last two chapters, and that helped me understanding what I just said about the feelings.
I really can't find any other words to describe my opinion about your story. It's a good one! Keep up the good work!
Cover [2/2]
You don't have a cover, but should I count the images you posted for each chapter? They were well chosen, all black and white, and were related to the story.
TOTAL: 94 + 2
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