Friends With Fans - simplewrite (Reviewer: cyberchasefan200)
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Title: Friends With Fans
Author: simplewrite
Title: 5/5
The title matches the story line well. But I think Friends with a Fan would work a bit better because it’s only one so far.
Poster/Trailer: 4/5
There is none. But the pictures you chose for the characters worked well for it I guess. The pictures for each chapter worked well as well. I think you should order a poster from a request shop or make one yourself though.
Flow: 9/10
Everything fits well together. I needed to re-read a few parts because it was confusing the first time I read it. But I understood everything
Description: 9/10
It’s a well written description. I think you should have used her name though. If you used her name it wouldn’t give information about her away. But also by saying “the fan”, it makes the reader wonder who the fan is, if it’s a boy or girl, etc.
Plot: 15/20
The plot is a twist. But I have seen and read many stories with the basic topic “an idol group and their adventures with a fan.” And similar topics. It is different though.
Grammar/Spelling: 9/10
You had a few repeat words here and there. Also, some misspellings and quotation misplacements. But overall it was totally fine.
Writing Style: 18/20
The way you wrote was very good. I was able to read everything clearly and know who’s talking and when. I think you should make the font a bit bigger because if someone as blind as me was reading it, they would have a hard time. X) When you’re putting someone’s POV you should say “(character’s name)’s POV” or ““(character’s name)’s Point of View” bolded and underlined.
Ending: 19/20
The last chapter (chapter 4) was so cute! I loved it. When he realized he forgot the keys I was LOLing so hard XD I’m a little curious to see how that turns out. For future chapters, I think you should make the ending be more suspenseful.
Overall: 88/100
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