You checked the time on your wrist watch. It’s been eighteen minutes. They must be outside now. Or not. It will take them a while if they’re still from their dorm in Nonhyeon, traveling by car to Yeouido is going to take a while. If you leave now, you-
“Ahniyo.” 
You suddenly heard Jongin say. You looked up to him wondering if he was able to read your mind. Only to confirm that he most likely did, or maybe he just noticed you glancing on your watch and squirming uncomfortably on your seat; a clear indication that you want to leave already. “Mwu?” 
Jongin cocked his head to the side and looked at you in the face as if he knows something about you that you don’t even know yourself. “I know you want to leave and avoid Joonmyeon-hyung. And I’m not letting you go.” He looked and sounded so convinced and determined. He even held his head up to show indignation.  
You took a deep breath. “I just don’t think it’s still necessary for us to see each other. I’m a threat to your careers, can’t you see that?” You raised your hands in the air to point out the current situation. 
Jongin shook his head. “All of the members are eventually going to date. It doesn’t matter if it’s with a nobody, a somebody or another idol.” The boy said. “This is going to happen anyway and fans knows that, even when they act like they can’t let it happen most of the time. Do you understand my point, noona?” 
Yes you do. So you nodded and the boy continued.
“Even if it’s not you, Joonmyeon-hyung dating someone will still be a scandal.” He added. What surprised you isn’t actually the very edgy words Jongin has said, but the fact that right now... The person in front of you isn’t like Jongin and most definitely isn’t Kai. It’s like a different person. How many personalities can one person posses by the way? You already know that behind Jongin’s always sleepy eyes and pouting lips, he’s a mature and deep person based on your first conversation with him. 
“Who are you?” You found yourself asking and that made Jongin laugh really hard. 
“Where’s our souvenir, noona?” He asked all of a sudden. You remembered how many times Jongin, Sehun, Tao and Chanyeol reminded you about a souvenir. But, you didn’t bring any when you came back because you planned to stay away from them. Jongin must have read your expression when he said. “Pangit!” He said with feelings.
What? Did he just say something in Tagalog? “What did you say?”
“I said you’re pangit.” He repeated, emphasizing the word and you laughed. It means ‘ugly’ in English. When your laugh had died down, you looked at him. 
“I’m sorry, Jongin-ah.” You are really sorry. You’re sorry you are so bad at this. So bad at handling your own feelings, handling other people’s feelings for you and making good decisions. How can everyone around you be all right and you, wrong? 
“Gwenchana, gwenchana...” He said, nodding. “You can make it up to us by cooking for us. Sehun and Kyungsoo-hyung said you brought some soup to Joonmyeon one time and it was really good.” 
You remembered that. You didn’t think they’d call it ‘really good’ actually, because they’d been reluctant to its taste at first. You remembered they finished it up so fast after they got used to the taste. 
How could you? How could you just throw away the friendship you’ve established with these boys? The connection they have with you and you to them is worth fighting for, it’s worth the risk and you didn’t... 
The corners of your eyes felt so hot and it was too late for you to stop the tears. They accumulated on your eyes fast enough for you to even catch them as they fall right after the other. 
“Noona...” Jongin’s voice was laced with concern. 
“I don’t deserve to be your friend... I don’t...” You stopped a convulsive gasp and took a deep breath before you continued, still looking at the folded table napkin in front of you. “I don’t deserve Joon-”
“Aish... Excuses!” Jongin said, sighing loudly. “If you think you’re not deserving, you don’t just give up. You make yourself deserving. Work for it. You don’t just deserve something because you think so. I wouldn’t think I deserve to be in EXO if I’m not good enough and I didn’t become good enough without working for it.” 
You clasped your hands over your mouth. “Oh my god, you’re so deep Jongin-ah.” 
Smirking, he said “It’s a shame you didn’t fall.” He looked so amused at your reaction and you know better than to take his cryptic words seriously. 
“I wouldn’t be able to climb out.” You said, trying to look and sound serious but you two ended up staring at each other, challenging the other on who’ll blink first and when he actually blinked first; you both just laughed it off. 
“Noona!!!!” 
Oh goodness. They’re here. Even if you missed Sehun’s lively and loud voice, the knowledge that Joonmyeon is with him right now made your chest tighten. What are you going to do? How are you going to act? What are you going to say? Can you just disappear already? Can the ground just please swallow you hole and never spit you out again? Oh wait, no; you have practice tomorrow.
Because Jongin is facing you and the glass wall, it was you who didn’t have a choice but to look at the two who just arrived. Your eyes saw Sehun’s bigger and taller frame first, his contagious and sunny smile widened even more at the sight of you then he opened his arms as he approaches your table. You can’t see Jonnmyeon yet because he’s behind Sehun. You stood along with Jongin and was already stepping forward to accept Sehun’s hug when a hand appeared over Sehun’s chest; stopping him. 
“Not here. Dispatch is across the street.” 
You have no idea what the dispatch is for because right now your breathing became too heavy and you felt pain in your chest. The moment you laid your eyes on Joonmyeon’s face. 
Those bushy brows that compliments his beautiful clear and sparkling eyes, his milky flawless skin, his pointed nose and those pinky lips... He’s nothing but perfection in your eyes and yet you had the nerve to turn your back on him. You must be in some kind of universe where reality is a dream because everything is so surreal. Joonmyeon was a dream, the one you’ve been waiting for; and suddenly he became a reality and after what you did, he became a nightmare. But standing in front of him right now and seeing how unhappy he is to see you is much worse than a nightmare, worse than your dreams of him angry at you because you know that this is reality.
“How did you find out about it, hyung?” Jongin asked.
“Chanyeol was on Twitter and your picture suddenly came up.” Joonmyeon said, his voice is just so...
You watched as Joonmyeon’s brows drew together and followed how his mouth move as he speak and suddenly you wanted to feel the softness and the warmth of his lips against yours. Shoot. What in the- You’ve got to keep your wits because unfortunately, he won’t look at you. He’s still mad at you. 
“It’s a good thing Maya-noona isn’t facing them... I think they’re still there so let’s let them take some more pictures of us all together before we leave.” Sehun said and moved closer to you and nudged you, his smile almost tearing his mouth apart. “Noona, I missed you. Are you still teaching English?” 
You were about to answer that question when Jongin beat you to it. “Yah, Sehunnie!” 
Sehun looked at Jongin and the two exchanged weird but most likely meaningful glances right in front of you as if they have some telepathic powers and are having an eye conversation right now. 
“Chanyeol will let me know if another photo is uploaded with all of us together and that’s our cue. We can leave after that.” Joonmyeon said as he pulls out his phone to check if he has a message and when he sees nothing, he pulled a chair beside Jongin and right across Sehun who sat next to you. He’s purposely avoiding any eye contact with you. 
You and Jongin sat at the same time, eyes finding each other and recognizing something in the younger boy’s look. He wants you to do something. You frowned because you don’t know what he wants you to do. He pouted and turned to Joonmyeon beside him who is looking at the menu he got on the table. 
“Hyung, I bumped into Maya-noona earlier in KBS and-”
“Oh chincha?” Joonmyeon sai