When I arrived home I went to the bathroom and put on my pajamas. I wasn’t planning on going anywhere unless Ella was going to come by or Alex. I came out of the bathroom and Max was watching me. I patted his head and he went to his bed to sleep. He was thinking the same thing as me.

I went to the kitchen and took about three pills for the pain. It wasn’t much but it was good enough for the painkiller to work its magic. I climbed on my bed and grabbed a pillow to hug. I grabbed my phone and looked for something to play. I couldn’t decide so I put it on shuffle.

I heard something soft play and then I realized what song it was. “Angel” by EXO-M. I was going to change it but I needed something soft to relax and plus I did like listen to the song. It just had been a while. I gently patted my stomach while listening to Luhan sing first then Lay and Chen.

The chorus was amazing to listen to. I shut my eyes dealing with the pain and wished for Kris by my side right now. I felt like an idiot for not answering his calls. I know he might be worried thinking we are over but the truth is we aren’t. He didn’t want us to be over and I didn’t either. At the time when I called him at the beach I wasn’t thinking straight and I wasn’t myself. I was my lost self and needed help to get back on my feet.

 I opened my eyes and continued listening to the song. I was waiting for my favorite part since it was ending. After they sang the chorus again the part came on.

[Luhan] When I fell in love, there’s no turning back

My wings were lost, my eternal life stripped away, oh no

[Chen] But my one and only reason for my happiness

Right now my eternity is you, eternally in love

Every time I heard that verse I felt something inside me. It was hard to explain. I wasn’t sure what I felt but it was good and lovely. I wanted to hear that part over and over again. When I looked at the English translations one day I cried. Every word just made me love Kris more when he gave me this song.

[All] As I ride the wind [Luhan] I descend upon your world, yeah

[All] The white wind [Chen] surrounding only you oh you

[Luhan] You ask where I come from [Chen] I say it’s a secret with a smile

[All] As long as you’re with me

[Luhan] Heaven can be anytime, anywhere

When the song ended it left a smile on my face. It made me love the song as if I heard it for the first time and knowing I have someone in the world that cares about me. Though I felt like crap not returning the feeling back. The next song was about to play when someone was calling in for face time. I smiled knowing it was Tao.

“Hey Panda.” I said as I answered the call.

Tao was smiling and waved to me. He usually calls when he is alone. But when he isn’t he has his ear phones on. Now he wasn’t alone. “Jie what are you doing?”

“I’m lying down. I don’t feel good.” I said moving around the bed to get comfortable. I ended up being on my stomach which helped with the pain a bit better.

“Awh Jie are you sick? What’s wrong?” he asked worried. I could tell the look on his face he seemed really worried. “If I was there I would make you soup and take care of you!”

I laughed at his comment. “You would take care of me?”

“Of course you are my Jie!” he said smiling.

Jie? He had been calling me that for a while and I never understood what it meant. “What does ‘Jie’ mean?”

“Oh!” he gave himself a face palm and smiled. “I keep forgetting to tell you that! It means Older Sister in Chinese.”

“Oh.” I nodded my head understanding.

“You are older right?” he asked looking at me up close through the phone as if we are face to face.

“You make me sound old Panda!” I shouted at him.

He laughed and through his head back hitting himself against the wall. I heard laughter around him and he made a face while rubbing his head. “Shut up Luhan Ge!”

I was about to ask him if Kris was around but he looked at me and smiled. I didn’t want to ask after all. If I did I would feel Kris would be around and take the phone away from Tao. “Are you alright Panda?”

He nodded his head. “I’m fine Jie.”

I smiled and nodded my head. “What to know a secret?”

Tao’s eyes widen and nodded his head repeatedly. “Yes yes!”

I laughed and shook my head. “I have a secret boyfriend aside from… well you know.” I didn’t mention Kris because that was part of our deal. When we would talk we wouldn’t talk about Kris. He knew we had a rough patch going on and Tao wanted us to fix it.

Tao widens his eyes and dropped his jaw. “What! Who?”

I smiled and looked to the side. “Come here Max.”

Max looked up at me and turned his head to the side.

“Come here baby.” I said in a baby cute voice. I patted the bed and he got up and jumped on the bed to join me. “Good boy.” I moved the phone to show Tao and he started smiling brightly.

“Oh my gosh! Ke ai!” he said looking at Max. “How old is he?”

I looked at Max and he my cheek. “He is about two years old. He is my baby.”

“Wait until… Kri-… I mean someone doesn’t know he has competition.” He said fast trying not to let anything slip out.

I nodded my head and smiled. “Our secret remember?”

Tao nodded his head and zipped his mouth and locked it. I laughed seeing his action. I hadn’t seen anyone do that in a long time. Tao smiled and winked at me. I then saw him look up and widen his eyes. “Oh Kris Ge, what’s up?”

“Are you done packing?” said Kris in the background.

“Almost.” Said Tao smiling and doing a puppy face at him.

“Who are you talking to so much lately?”

I then saw Tao move the phone to his chest. “Just a friend.”

“Well, when you’re done talking finish packing. We have to leave in a few days. Packing the sooner is better than waiting for the last minute Tao.” Said Kris a bit annoyed .

I saw Tao’s face again and he sighed. But when he looked at me he smiled. “Sorry, we are leaving to China again and he wants me to pack ahead of time.”

“Well he does have a point.” I said softly.

Tao widen his eyes. “You heard him?”

“It’s hard not to miss that deep voice of his.” I said looking at him with a small smile.

Tao nodded his head and looked at me. “He misses you a lot you know.”

I didn’t know what to respond to that. I missed him a lot too. But with me not answering his calls just makes me feel as if I