When it was announced that 2PM was the next performer, Jay debated changing the channel until it was over. He was caught between seeing his old friends’ growth and running from the past. While he was having an internal debate, 2PM entered the stage and Jay was quickly caught up in their performance. He could see how much better Wooyoung and Junho had gotten at dancing, how much Junsu and Chansung’s vocals had improved, and how far Nichkhun’s Korean had come.

And Taecyeon. Taecyeon was pissed. Jay could tell from the rapper’s jerky movements and the stiff expression on his face. Jay had his suspicions earlier during Taecyeon’s rap number - which Jay had texted Yongguk about, as well as Yongguk’s little stint a minute ago with his shirt - but now his thoughts were confirmed. Taecyeon was angry and hella furious, at that. Jay was so used to reading Taecyeon’s mood from the movement of his body that he picked up on the littlest things. In all honesty, Taecyeon’s temper could be clear to most people, he was being that obvious. Jay wondered what could have infuriated him that much that Taecyeon was letting it affect his performance.

About halfway through, Jay caught Taecyeon’s mood change. He saw the man shut down his emotions, apparently coming to a decision internally. Jay quickly found out what the result was when Taecyeon moved forward for another rap verse. Jay almost dropped his bowl of pretzels when Taecyeon made a sign, their sign. Jay knew what Taecyeon was trying to say to him and it was coming through loud and clear. off, I don’t care about you anymore. Jay didn’t know what had happened to make Taecyeon think of him but it was obvious that he was the main cause of his ex-boyfriend’s mood.

Jay watched the rest of the routine in a state of mild shock. On one hand, he was stunned Taecyeon still remembered that (and that he himself still recognized its meaning). On the other hand, he was sad that Taecyeon continued to feel so bitter years later. Jaw was certain now that Taecyeon would never forgive him for leaving, not even after so many years. It appeared that instead of time healing all pain, it had just given birth to resentment and anger.

With a heart that suddenly felt much heavier than before and a throat that was threatening to close, Jay put down his pretzels and drew up his knees to curl in on himself. It was amazing to Jay that Taecyeon still had the ability to stab him in the gut after all this time. He had thought Taecyeon didn’t have that much power over him anymore. Suddenly, Jay felt arms wrap around him.

“Babe, what are you doing?” Jay hadn’t even heard the door open and his lover return from his schedule but he relaxed back into those arms, drawing comfort from their strength and familiar smell.

“Just realizing that some people will never let go of the past,” Jay replied.

His lover walked around the couch, sitting down next to Jay and drawing the shorter man into his lap. “Watch the 2PM performance?”

Jay had always been surprised that the other man was so good at not being jealous; instead, he supported Jay through his mourning phases. Taecyeon would always be Jay’s first love and his current boyfriend was aware that it had been an excruciating separation.

“Yeah,” Jay answered simply, curling into his lover. Jay felt hands rub up and down his back as the other man silently offered comfort. Wrapping his arms around the taller man’s neck, Jay leaned up for a soft kiss, thanking him for his reassurance and understanding. The other man responded with gentle enthusiasm, seemingly not wanting to push his little lover. Jay made a realization right then and there.

Jay grinned, stood up, and turned the TV off. His boyfriend tilted his head up at Jay questioningly. Jay pulled him to his feet and led him to the bedroom, ready for some more vigorous activity. He had to let the other know that he had made the right decision. They were perfect together. Maybe not in the same way as him and Taecyeon, but it was still more than great. The past was gone and here and now was all that mattered.

 Jay and Kim Woo Bin. They were all that mattered. And Jay couldn’t have gotten luckier. 

Authors Note

Yeah, I'm not sure where that came from either. They're from the same company?