On the rest day after the 2012 MBC Drama Awards Night and with Episodes 16 already aired and Episode 17 to be aired that evening, Yoon Eun Hye was at home going over the events of the past week. Filming was really tiring, physically and emotionally, but she was honest enough to admit that the happiness she was feeling constantly these days wiped away the tiredness she sometimes felt to her bones. YEH was also honest enough to admit that the source of her overflowing happiness despite her tiredness is none other than Park Yoo Chun.

The past week’s filming had YC and her kissing, hugging tight, holding hands, looking into each other’s eyes and doing so many things that a couple would normally do that it had her, YEH, heart fluttering and her breath catching with every scene. She now admitted and confirmed without a doubt to herself that whatever she is feeling now is no longer LSY’s feelings for HJW, but YEH’s feelings for PYC and this realization is scaring her no end. The fact that YC had saesang fans added to her concerns.

YEH knew that PYC has feelings for her, and she was fairly certain that this was not HJW’s feelings for LSY.  The amount of time they spent together talking and joking around or just sharing a companionable silence; the times that YC always finds ways to sweep her into his van so that they can share rides home together or his insisting to follow her van home during the times they had to ride their own vans home after filming; his constant concern for her safety and comfort; his unexpected introducing her to his Mom at the 2012 MBC Drama Awards night all pointed to his feelings being more than friendship for her. But YEH was afraid to make assumptions and YC has not verbalized his feelings in any way.

There was also a possibility that their feelings for each other were due to their HJW and LSY characters, although it honestly did not feel that they were being swept along with their character’s feelings, she was still afraid of this being the case. In all her past dramas her feelings were clear cut, she was her screen partner’s girlfriend in the drama and only in the drama, no matter how many hugs, holding hands and kissing scene’s they filmed together especially for Goong with Ju Ji Hoon oppa, Coffee Prince with Gong Yoo oppa and Lie To Me with Kang Ji Hwan oppa. Once the filming of the scene was over there were no lingering feelings on her part and they were back to being just good friends. With YC it was totally different, after every lovey-dovey scene there was always the reluctance to let go of each other, to linger in the warmth and closeness. Although they could return to joking and talking just as comfortably, the remaining tingle could always be felt. Maybe because all her previous dramas were romantic comedies and ‘Missing You’ was an intense melodrama. All this thinking was giving her a headache.

YEH walked over to her window, looking out in the direction of YC’s home, memories of the past week’s filming filled her mind and caused all the feelings she was trying to suppress and control to rush into her heart making it ache. From her touching YC’s hand to comfort him in the beginning of Episode 16 to the Ddeokbokki Kiss set to the hand-holding with YC rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb and her first voluntary hug as LSY for HJW accompanied by YC’s rubbing of her back with his hands as if giving her comfort and of course the looking into each other’s eyes from Episode 16 and 17, all these expressions of love made her feel YC’s, not HJW’s, warmth, love and caring. The bed scene of episode 17 with YC on top of her, made her realize YC’s care in not making her uncomfortable or embarrassed, always making sure she was not feeling awkward, asking if she was okay during every camera-angle change break. The tight hug and hand holding and not letting go of her hand during the last scenes of episode 17 really gave her warmth in that cold setting. It felt so intense and real that it made her melt faster than the snow around them. “How could I be wrong about PYC as well as my own feelings? But…what if I’m wrong? I don’t want to get hurt.” YEH murmured under her breath. “Ottoke?”

Then memories of YC’s and her interaction during the 2012 MBC Drama Awards night replaced those of the filming in her mind and she can clearly remember feeling so happy despite being tired from filming and knowing that she had filming to return to. The fact that, when they sat beside each other, it felt like they were just in the MBC waiting room. In sight of everyone who attended, Jae Joong, Mama Park, fans and colleagues alike, they were talking, whispering and laughing non-stop. They acted as if they were in a world of their own not caring that they were in the midst of an event broadcasted not only in Korea but also all over the world with Fan cams all around taking videos of their favourite celebrities; JYJ fans with Video cams trained on JJ and YC, Chunsas with video cams trained on YC and Neris with video cams trained on her. She knew how revealing the fan cameras were, Moon Sang Min, her co-manager, had already surfed the internet and showed her many of the fan cam videos already uploaded on Youtube and other sites.  

The most revealing were the fan videos of them after the event when they were talking as they stood up to approach their respective managers and staff as well as greet their colleagues on their way up the stage for the award winner’s souvenir photo. She did not realize how close they were walking together that they seemed like a married couple, the fact that she always seemed to be walking behind YC made her look like a typical Korean wife. YC was also acting like a possessive husband, always standing just a few feet away from her to the point of seeming to prefer being around her than paying attention to Jae Joong, his best friend and ‘soul mate’. He was always around her vicinity and even moved to stand behind her while she was talking to her Goong co-star Lee Yoon Ji, catching her attention making her introduce them and remained behind her listening to their conversation, blowing her hair and pulling down the end of her blouse shifting her attention and making her turn her head abruptly to give him an amazed look. The fact that YC was obviously bent on standing beside her in the souvenir photo did not escape her attention and brought a thoughtful but amused smile to her lips. She was even more amused when he saw the look on YC’s face when a crew directed Seo Jin Gu to stand between them. She can almost hear YC say in his mind: “Aigoo…who was that guy? He foiled my plan to be standing beside EH for the winner’s group photo. Bad guy!” This whimsical thought made her let out a full-bodied laugh, making her headache disappear.

There was a question that still bugged her a lot though, and that was why YC introduced her to his Mom that night. She did ask YC about it but he just nonchalantly answered her: “My Mom wanted to meet you.”; making her more puzzled. She asked him if his Mom ever wanted to meet any of his other female co-leads and YC simply answered; “No.” Before she could ask him more questions, they were called over to start filming. Was in just a matter of his Mom and her coincidentally being at the back stage at the same time? She could not remember what exactly happened because she was in a hurry to leave to continue her filming.

YEH stayed deep in thought by the window. She couldn’t shake her apprehensions about the personal feelings she was developing for YC and the personal feelings she senses from YC. She is not the type to make the first move towards a man; for her, the man has to make the first move towards her, otherwise whatever attraction that may have been building up, if any, would be categorized as filming induced and revert to friendship.

YEH then remembered that, in an interview, she did say that it was alright if she loved someone on her own but she would feel a lot better if the love was returned. With this in mind she set her heart at ease as she decided to just allow herself to love, after all in was not as if she was alone in her feelings, she was confident that YC felt the same way. It was just a matter of whether YC would like to continue and nurture the feelings they share for each other or if he decides to take a step back after the filming. YEH was sure that they would both have to take a step back after the filming anyway to settle their feelings. She decided to just enjoy what YC and she had now and not worry too much about the future. Que Sera Sera!!!