"GOGO-DANCER? ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

"I'm sorry."

"ARE YOU COMPLETLY OUT OF YOUR MIND?!"

"I'm sorry."

"STRIPING ON A ING STAGE WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE YOU HALF ?!"

"It's not striping..."

"WHAT??!"

"N-Nothing. I'm sorry."

"WHAT WOULD YOUR PARENTS SAY, HUH?!"

"They would be ashamed..."

"DAMN RIGHT!"

You tried hard not to cry while Sehun shouted at you. Sehun got barely mad at you, but when he was, he was absolutly furious.

He breathed several times in an out to control his anger.

"Where do you live now?", he demanded. You kept quiet.

"I ask you one more time: Where. Do.You. LIVE?", he shouted the last word again and you jerked in fear. When Sehun was mad, he was really scary.

"I-I..." you sighed and took a deep breath. "Here."

"What do you mean by here?", he made his eyes to little slots. You gulped. You were in damn right now.

"Here in the club.", you whispered and hoped he hadn't heard it, but he did and he started shouting again.

"WHAT?! HERE?! IN THAT DAMN CLUB WHERE EVERYONE IS ABLE TO HURT OR YOU?!"

"N-no one tried yet-"

"Yet? YET?!", he was completly outraged.

"No, I mean it's ok, I'm fine. I-", you tried to assure him but he just cut you off

"Someone take that girl out of my sight before I kill her!", he shrieked and Himchan was worridly on your left side. He tugged you on your arm and brought you a few meters away from Sehun. You jerked your arm out of his grip and looked angry at him. "Don't touch me.", you snapped.

"Hey, we are just trying to help you.", said Yongguk. You turned your gaze to him and rolled your eyes.

"Yes, sure." You looked back to Sehun and saw he had entered the club again. *What is he doing?*

"Why do you work as a GoGo-Dancer Sae Ra?", asked Yongguk.

"It's non of yo-", you stopped yourself and looked shocked at him. "You told Sehun. You recognized me."

"Yes, I did.", he agreed with a shoulder shrugg.

"Are you crazy?", you shouted. "Look what you have done!"

"So you mean it's my fault that you work as a GoGo-Dancer?"

"No, but because of you Sehun found out!"

"He would have find it out sooner or later, and you know that.", he stated and crossed his arms.

You just sighed annoyed because he was completly right, but you couldn't agree. Who were you to agree with this betrayer?

"We were worried" said Daehyun all of sudden. *The playboy is also here?*, you thought annoyed.

"Worried? My Daehyun don't-"

"We were really.", assured Himchan. "You didn't even came to the dance practise."

"Why should I? There's no reason anymore to dance with you."

"Why?", asked Daehyun irritated.

"Because I don't trust you!", you said a bit too loud, but you didn't cared.

"Did you trust us before?", asked Himchan stunned.

"No, Pabo.", you didn't cared that he was older and you should talk in respect with him. "But I thought at least you would stand out of my personal things expected the dance."

They kept quiet and looked at each other. Before they could deside what to say, they heard an young female voice calling.

"Sae Ra! The next show is on! We need you. Tiffany doesn't feel well."

"Coming.", you answered and the boys narrowed their eyebrows together. *Is she serious?*

You turned your gaze to the boys the last time. "This is the last time I tell you boys", you started. "Don't interfer in my private life."

And you entered the club again.


Yongguk sighed tired and Himchan got mad. Daehyun was a little bit dazed of the fact that you just ignore Sehun's shout and went back inside.

After 15 minutes Sehun was finally outside with Sae Ra's suitcase. He looked around, but there was no Sae Ra.

"Where is she?", he asked.

"She went back to the club.", answered Himchan.

"Are you serious?", he asked in disbelieve. The other two nodded.

With mad face and bolled fists Sehun got back to the club and left it after three minutes.  His finger was around her ear and she hissed every second in pain.

"Let go!", she whined.

"We go back to Luhan's house.", he said angry.

"No, I don't want to!", you protested.

"You have no right to be against my decisions.", he dragged you along with your ear in his hand while the other threes followed him.

"Let go!", you pushed him away and he looked stunned at you. "You dare!", he yelled.

You breathed heavly and sat on the bench which was luckily right next to you.

"A-Are you alright?", asked Daehyun concern and came closer.

"Go away.", you whispere and continued breathing. After a few seconds everything was ok again. "You tired.", you explained and Sehun got again mad.

"Probably you danced all these night without any breaks, am I right?", but you just shrugged.

He was about to shout at you again but your phone started ringing. "Hello?", you picked up.

"You are fired!", shouted a voice from the other line.

"W-What? But Boss!"

"Don't dare even coming back here! I need loyal dancers and not someone who comes and goes!"

"But-", but it was too late, he had already hung up.

*Oh no.*, you looked shocked at your mobile phone and slowly shook your head.

"Who was that?", asked Yongguk.

"My boss. He...He fired me."

"Thank good.", said Sehun and sat down next to you.

"Now you are satisfide, huh?", you raised an eyebrown and your tears came down your cheek, but you didn't sob or anything, it was only your tears you had hold on for so long.

You looked to the boys. "And you too, huh? You got what you wanted: You humiliated me in my school and now I'm fired."

You leaned back and you whiped your tears away. "What do I do now? I have nowhere to go and no money.", you said it loud but talked most of time to yourself.

"Luhan-"

"Don't.", you said pressed. "Just don't...talk to me right now.", you stood up and walked away.

"Yah! Where are going?", shouted Sehun and ran after you. "Away from you guys!", you said and walked faster.

"Sae Ra, you have nowhere to go! Go with Sehun!", said Himchan while he also ran after you and so did Daehyun and Yongguk.

You ignored his pleading and took your high heels of and started to run.

"YAH! WHERE DO YOU THINK ARE YOU GOING?", Sehun ran after you, but lost you and shouted frustrated.



"Where's she?", asked Yongguk concern when Sehun came back alone.

"Lost her.", he confessed. He ruffled his hair frustrated and sat on the bench. "I was too rough. I'm so stupide."

"No, she's just too stubborn.", sighed Yongguk and sat also on the bench.

"What do we do now?", asked Daehyun.

They kept quiet, but after few minutes Himchan said: "I look for her, you can go home."

"You?", asked Sehun. "Wasn't it you, you hated her the most?"

"I don't hate her.", he confessed.

"Than, do you like her?", he continued asking.

*Actually, I don't know. She so complicated.*, but instade of saying it, he just shrugged. "Do you want to look for her or not?"

"Yes.", they said as one mouth and started looking for you.





                                                                                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


After two hours they were able to find you. You were in a little pub and yes you were roaring drunk.

"One more Ajusshi!", you called and he nodded.

The boys came closer to your table nad sat down. You looked up and narrowed your eyes, but then you recognized them.

"Leave me alone! I don't talk to marons like you.", you stated babbling.

"When she is drunk, she always answers things honestly. Go on, ask her some things and then let's take her home.", said Sehun. He wanted the boys to fully understand why you were like this."

"Sae Ra?", called Yongguk and you hummed for a yes.

"Why did you work as GoGo-Dancer?", he asked gently.

"I needed money. Much money!", she spread her arms to show the amont of money.

"But why there? Why not someone else?"

"No one wanted me. Only boss. Now boss is mad.", you pouted.

*So she had nowhere else to go*, stated Yongguk.


"Why are you always so cold Sae Ra?", asked Himchan. He wanted finally understand you and your actions.

"Because I'm hurt. Here.", she pointed to her heart. "Everyone said they care. Everyone was nice to me. But when I wasn't there they talked about me." 

She started immitating some voices. " 'Look at that cow!' 'Unbelievable that he's dating her.' 'He just plays around with her.' ", you took a sip of your glass and nodded. "And they were right!" You sighed.

*Dated?*, they thought at the same time, but before they could ask, you continued

"And here in Korea everyone hates me because I'm darker than everyone else. And no one helped me. Not even you." She pointed to the three. "You only ignored me and looked away when I got bully."

"I'm sorry.", whispered Yongguk and the other two nodded in agreement. They lowered their head ashamed


"But one person, was always good! One person always loved me! No matter how I looked like."


"Who was this person?", asked Daehyun.

"My aunt. My beautiful beautiful aunt."

"Is she in America?", asked Daehyun curious.

"No, she's there.", she pointed to the roof.

"At the roof?", asked Himchan.

"No, pabo.", second time you called him pabo. "She's in heaven with my beautiful beautiful Soo Ha.", you smiled and swung yourself from side to side.

"She...she's dead?", Daehyun looked at Sehun and saw tears glittering in his eyes. He nodded.

"How did she die?"

"Ask her, not me. It's not my story."

He looked back at you and saw that you were still smiling. You started to talk to yourself.

"Auntie? Auntie do you see me? I am strong, just how I promised you.", your smiled slowly faded. "But I still miss you auntie."

You took the bottle and the drank a quarter in one shot. "But I keep being strong auntie! For you I endure this. For you I would do everything! I promised you, I will make our dream come true auntie, and I'll keep my promise."

You forced a smile on your face. "Oh and auntie, is Soo Ha with you? Did he arrive well? Say Hello from me, ok?"

Suddenly everything had gotten dizzy and you slept on the table.

The four boys tried hard not to cry. "Let's go", whispered Yongguk and stood up as first.

He put you gently on his back. "Luhan's house?", asked Yongguk but Sehun shook his head.

"Take her to your house."

"Don't you think, she'll be mad?", he asked.

"She'll be even mader if she wakes up and sees Luhan right infront of her face."

They nodded and were about to go when Sehun stopped them. "Do you maybe know who Soo Ha is?"

Himchan explained Sehun who Soo Ha was and what happened today.

"And Luhan made fun of the ill orphans. That's why she got so made."

Sehun felt guilty and stupide. *And I shouted at her. Pabo, you should know your best friend better, shouldn't you.*

"I'll call her tomorrow and apologize. Please take good care of her, since it's already Sunday."

He left and the boys brought her to their house.




                                                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"Omo, what happen to her?", asked Zelo shocked.

"She's just drunk", Yongguk assured and brought her upstairs. Meanwhile Himchan and Daehyun told them what happened to her.

"GoGo-Dancer? Seriously?", asked Jongup in disbelief.

"She needed money and she's alone here. I don't blame her.", said Zelo sad. "Did her aunt live here or America?"

"We don't know. She dozed of before we could ask her.", sighed Daehyun.

They kept quiet and looked at the ground. Himchan and Daehyun felt still sad because of what you've said. That they didn't helped you alone and left you alone with the bullies.

Yongguk came downstairs and saw the said exprations of his dongsaengs.

"At least, she's back and healthy.", he tried to cheer them up and it helped. They all nodded in agreement.

"But what do we do with her hyung?", asked Jongup sad. "She doesn't trust us."

"Then let's show her, that she can trust us.", smiled Yongguk and told the boys what he had on his mind.




                                                                                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The morning got earlier as expected and so did your headache.

"Where am I?", you whispered and looked slowly around. You knew that room.

*Am I in B.A.P's house?*, you thought irritated. You liftes yourself up a bit and your headache got worse. "Damn", you hissed and looked around.

Yep, B.A.P's house.

"Why am I here?", you stood slowly up from the bed and looked at the closet. On top of it was water and some pills, which you took gladly.


"Can I come in?", asked a gently voice. It was Jongup.

"What am I doing here?", you asked suspicious but he shrugged. "You got drunk, hyungs brought you home."

"Oh man, right. I was drunk."

"Sae Ra.", called Jongup and you looked at him.

"You know that we didn't deceive you?", he started.

"I don't trust you.", you answered honestly.

"I know.", he nodded. "But please give us a change. We want to show you that you can."

"How?", you asked challenging.

"You'll see.", he winked. "But I what I wanted to tell you...the photo..." You raised an eyebrown at him.

"We didn't tell anyone and we don't plan to do so.", he stood up. "So give it a try ok? Trusting us.", he smiled encouraging and hold his open palm towards you.

You looked at his hand with scared eyes. *Should I or shouldn't I?*

"I can't trust you.*, you whispered. On his knees he sat down on the ground so he would be in the same level as you, still with his open palm.

"I want to win you trust and your friendship so give me a chance please. But not only me, but also the others."

"Trust is nothing you get overnight.", you contered.

"Yes that's true. To get trust you have to go a long and hard way. And I want to go with you this hard way."

"J-Jongup..."

"Let's go this way together Sae Ra."

You hesistated, but had nothing left to lose. You took his hand and he smiled in relief.


"Let's go downstairs!", he said with a bid smile and you stood slowly up walking with him down hand in hand.


"She's awake!", he called and everyone turned their gaze to you two.

"MORNING~", they greeted.

"Ah. Not so loud, my head.", you said annoyed and rubbed your tempels.

"You own fault when you drink that much.", scolded Himchan like a mother.

"Come on, let's go eat!", suggested Jongup and dragged you along. Grummpy you sat on the chair.

"I hope, you'll like it Sae Ra.", said Himchan and put your breakfast down. "Made with heart and sweat!"

"Then I won't it eat.", you lamly joked but to your surprise they laughed.

"Just eat it already.", he said and gave you chopsticks. "Can I have a fork?", you asked.

"Why that?", asked Himchan. You hesistated to tell, but you felt Jongup squeezing your hand under the table.

"I feel more comfortable with forks than chopsticks.", you confessed and looked down to your food.

He nodded in thought and gave you a fork. 

You wanted to take it, but Jongup was still holding your hand. "Jongup.", you called and he looked at you.

"Your hand.", you said.

"What's with it?", he asked confused.

"You're still holding mine.", you stated.

"Oh.", he slowly removed his hand. You smiled at his expression and started eating. Wow, Himchan's food was good.

"You like it?", he asked.

"Yes.", you nodded.


The boys saw that you were still quiet stiff, but they also saw that you tried to give them a chance.

You couldn't eat all the food because you didn't felt well.

"Go upstairs and rest, we'll do the dishes.", assured Daehyun and smiled.

You nodded and left them alone. Zelo sighed after you have left.

"She's still uncomfortable with us.", he pouted. "Yeah, but it'll be better. Trust doesn't come overnight Zelo.", yongguk ruffles Zelo's hair and the maknae smiled again.

"I think we should cheer her up.", said Daehyun suddenly.

"Why this?", asked Zelo.

"Maybe you don't remember but her friend died yesterday. Even if she plays strong -and that quiet good- I still think she's broken inside of that lost."

"You're right.", nodded Himchan.

"But what can we do to cheer without mentioning him?", asked Daehyun.

"I have an idea.", said Yongguk suddenly and smiled brightly.




                                                                                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


You slept almost the whole day. In the evening you got up because you where hungry.

You went downstairs and heard the boys giggling *Omo?*

"Hey, is everything ok?", you asked and they turned around with a big smile.

"Yes, it is.", Zelo tried hard not to burst in laugher. "Then...what's so funny?", you asked confused. "Do I look weird?"

"No, no!", assured Himchan. "But someone else."

You looked at them and saw someone was missing. "Where's Daehyun?"

"Do you remember Sehun's and Daehyun's beautiful bet?", laughed Jongup.

"Bet?", you thought about for a while. *Bet? Which bet? I can't re-*

You gasped. "No way."

"Welcome our beautiful Daehyunria!", announced Himchan and Daehyun came with a skirt from the corner.

He was complettly haired and not only that. They had bond his hair together and make-up on his face. Red lipstick and green eye shadow.

"Dare tell anyone and I'll kill you.", he threatend everyone.

Suddenly he heard a 'Bang' and you were lying in the ground. Your hand on your stomach  and rolling around.

"Oh my goodness! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You look so....soo... PUHAHAHAHA!"

*Thank god, she laughs. She's happy....and I still like her laughers*, thought Daehyun and smiled to himself.


"Well", started Daehyun and took a mirror from the desk and looked at it. "Even now, everyone would want me. No matter women or men."

"HAHAHAHAHA!! My stomach! I can't breath! PUAHAHAHA!"

You continued laughing and the boys laughed along.



After minutes of laughing you went upstairs and wanted to continue sleeping but someone knocked the door.

"Who is it?", you asked.

"It's me.", he entered and you looked with narrowed eyes at Youngjae.

"What do you want?", not that you wanted to sound mean but...he always bullied you, so why should you trust him though.

"I wanted to talk.", he said and felt a bit stupid for not doing it earlier.

You waited for him to talk. "Look Sae Ra", he started. " I was quiet mean to you and I", he breathed in and out. "I want to apologize."

Your eyes grow wide. *What did he just say?*

"I was mean without any reason and I'm sorry for that. I know how it is to be bullied, but I was still an idiot and did the same thing to you, I'm sorry."

"Wow.", you said surprised. "Wow?", he asked confused.

"This is the first time you call me by my name.", you said and couldn't help but smile.

"Oh.Really?", he also smiled.

"But do you mind if you leave now, I'm tired and we have school tomorrow.", you asked.

"Does that mean you forgive me?", he asked in hope.

You yawned because of tiredness. "There's nothing to forgive. I was never really mad at you."

"Really?"

"Ok, no, I was quiet often mad at you. But it was because you followed the crowed and this still s me up."

"I won't anymore. I promise."

"Good.", you smiled and closed your eyes.

"But one more thing Sae Ra." You hummed for yes.

"Would you...would you help me to lose weight?", he asks gently. You opened your eyes again and he was sitting on the ground with his head hanging low.

"I hate to look at the mirror. I can't stand seeing myself anymore. I...I hate me.", he gulped.

"I never believed I could lose much weight and I'll always be ugly and fat. But then I saw your picture.", he looked up to you.

"And it gives me hope that I can reach it." He looked down again. "Please help me.", he whispered.


"Do you really want it?", you asked.

"Yes."

"Do you believe in yourself that you can make it?" He hesistated but nodded then. "I'll give my best."

"When I'll help you, you're not allowed to give up Youngjae. Because if you give up you'll hate yourself even more."

"I know."

"It will be tough."

"I know."

"And you still want it?"

"I don't want to hate myself anymore. I want to look at the mirror without shame."

"Without shame.", you repeated his words.

Suddenly Youngjae felt a hand patting his cheek. He looked up to meet your eyes. It was the first time he saw you smiling so softly at him and  he felt again warm. Like the first time you told him that he wasn't fat at all.

"I'll help you Yoo Youngjae."


----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok....I'm sorry! Still a drama queen D:

But I tried hard no to...but I just get these thoughts and write them.

I hope you're not annoyed :D

Longest chapter I've ever written. almost 4 hours XDD

Hope you liked it!