"Sua! I'm going to miss you too!!" I said loudly to stop her from finishing her sentence. I gave her a tight hug and Sua grinned widely.

"Have fun in America ! Call me!"

Ohhh Sua. I really was going to miss her and her antics. She did help me so much afterall with my pregnancy. Her friends decided to take her home to their house and I took a taxi back home. This was the last night in Korea for me. Well morning I guess. I had to get to the airport by 7 am but now it was 3 am so I had a few hours to waste. The dark sky rumbled like rocks falling to tell us that a rainstorm was going to come. And then sure enough, heavy rain bullets hot down. It sounded almost like hailstones hitting the top of the taxi roof. The ride was about two hours long. When we arrived, I paid the taxi driver and he kindly offered me an umbrella. I thankfully accepted it and leaped out of the car. The rain was coming down ridiculously hard and it made it hard to see.

The street lights were dim as usual but they guided me to the entrance of our house area. And then I saw something that sent me shivers down my spine. It was a dark figure standing right by my entrance. But it wasn't dark enough for me to realize who it was.

     Jiyong...oppa.

My fingers gripped my umbrella hard and my heart stopped. It was him for sure. His blond hair was completely soaked and rain drizzled down his face. His clothes were all black and wet so they clung to his skin. I could tell he was shivering and his lips were a grotesque light violet color. The dark circles beneath his eyes were prominent and deep.

Just how long had he been standing here?

Jiyong looked unsteady, his legs kept getting off balance and swaying around. Even through the heavy rain, I could smell a strong scent of alcohol coming from him.

"Oppa..." I said softly.

Jiyong looked up when he heard my voice. His eyes seemed almost yellow and his face looked sick. Not metaphorically, but physically sick. It looked like he was running a high fever.

       "Who the are you to mess my life up like this?" His voice was shaky but full of anger. "J-Just tear m-my heart up into pieces of...and just run off??!"

Jiyong's words were slightly slurred. "D-DID YOU LOVE HIM?!! DID YOU REALLY LOVE HIM THAT MUCH?!!" Jiyong's balance began to go off and he tilted forward. I ran forward to catch him so he wouldn't fall. His body was cold as ice and his skin was pale and blue.

"D-Do you really love him more than you loved me?" His words hit straight at my heart as he whispered in the cold rain. I had asked him that...same question when I thought he was with Miko. I could now understand the pain he went through durning that time. His breathing was labored and wheezy as if he had some severe cold. I placed my hand over his wet forehead. It was burning hot.

"Oppa, we have to get you home." I said as I placed his arm around my shoulder. From his heavy breathing, I could smell alcohol waft into my nose. Jiyong coughed loudly and his walking was staggered. How was I supposed to get a taxi from this dark alley now? And Jiyong's house...it wasn't too far away. Just a ten minute way by bus. I wondered how long it would take me to walk him there.

Sighing, I held him up as we walked out of my house area and into the dark alley.

     What was I doing? I was pregnant and attempting to half carry a drunk guy in the pouring rain back to his home. Not to mention that the drunk guy was my baby's dad...but he didn't know. It was the last thing I could do for him..before I left him forever. It seemed as if Jiyong had fallen asleep by the time we got to his neighborhood. His feet were unsteadily walking around but his head was hung down as if he was unconscious. I could feel his breath on my neck and shoulder which made me feel hot and uneasy. His lips occasionally brushed against my skin. How was I going to be able to handle not being with him anymore?

After about thirty minutes of dragging Jiyong, we arrived at his house. It was where he lived with his parents so I assumed that they would be inside. We reached his front door and I pulled Jiyong up so he could do me a favor and stand up straight. I shouldn't be doing this, I was pregnant! But it was for Jiyong and I would do anything for him. The front door was locked but it had a password on the lock instead of a keyhole.

"Oppa, what's the password?" I said pulling him back up again. Jiyong slouched over my shoulder and mumbled something. His breath tickled my neck. I couldn't hear what he said.

"Sorry what?" I asked.

As he breathed hard, he said something again. "...r..." I pressed in the number for "r". "...e.." Jiyong sighed. "..m...i.."

His house password...was my name?

Sighing, I punched in the numbers and just like a spell, the door chimed and unlocked. The house seemed completely empty. There were no shoes by the entrance and it was squeaky clean. I lit up a dim light by the foyer "Where is everyone?" I whispered. The house muted out the sound of the rain.

Jiyong swung his head down. "T-They're visiting...family...in a different...city." He said with great effort. I dragged him up and took his shoes off.

"So...you've been alone?" Jiyong finally looked at me. His eyes were watery, not from the rain but from tears. There was a soft smile on his lips though.

"I've always been alone...except when you were with me." I cringed at his smile because it gave me a strange tingle, a tingle that prickled my nerves, making me remember everything that his single smile brought.

Jiyong coughed loudly and it sounded horrible as if it were ripping his throat apart. I had to get him to rest. I dragged him across the dark house which was occasionally lit up with the lightening that sparked through the windows. His breathing began to get quicker and raspier and his skin was scalding hot. I reached him room and laid him down gently on the bed. He coughed as if his lungs were being filled with water. I quickly ran over to the bathroom and grabbed two large bath towels. Long wet strands of my hair stuck to my skin as I raced back. Jiyong looked really sick. His pale skin seemed to be almost glowing an eery bluish color. His lips were now tight and blended with the rest of his skin. When he opened his eyes slightly, his pupils seemed transparent.

I wiped Jiyong down dry with the towel as best as I could but the bed was already almost a pool of water. I placed more towels underneath him and then took his wet shirt off. Running to his closet, I found a fresh shirt and then went back to put it on him. Jiyong was so helpless. His body was weak and limp and I could tell there was something definitely wrong with him. His breathing was still labored and his coughing didn't cease. After making him the driest that I could, I tucked him in gently inside under his blankets. I quickly made a phone call to a doctor and but he couldn't come right now..after all it was way too early.

I checked the time...6:20! I had to get to the airport by 7!

It was a forty minute drive from here and I had to get my suitcase...crap I was going to miss my flight if I didn't leave now! Jiyong seemed a bit more calm, his breathing was at ease but his closed eyelids tensed up as if he was thinking about something. I felt rushed but then again I wanted to make sure Jiyong would be okay.

What was I thinking? I was leaving him altogether. I lied to him...what good would it be for me to give him the pain and then the medicine?* I went back to the bed and looked at him. I really really loved him and still love him. I couldn't believe that I was doing this. I already had started it and I needed to end it. Jiyong even when he was sick looked handsome. His perfection and aura always kept me enveloped in his unique trance. It was indescribable how much I loved him. For the last time, I reached down and held his hand. His long fingers felt lifeless and dull but they lightly wrapped around my touch. When my fingers touched his, I felt my heart stop. Tears were literally pushing all force behind my eyes but I forced myself to push them back. It was going to be hell without him... Jiyong's lips moved slightly and whispered something. I slipped my fingers out of his grasp and then grabbed my stuff to leave. I turned around from him and took a step away.

Then suddenly, I heard a rapid shuffling noise and then a thud as Jiyong jumped out of bed and grabbed me. He hugged me from behind and wrapped his arms around my shoulders tightly. My breath halted for a split second as I felt his hot skin touch mine. His breathing was hot and heavy, seeping into the crook of my neck and collarbones. His cold wet hair against mine gave me a shock. And the scent...oh his scent. His alluring crisp scent of his usual cologne mixed with traces of alcohol and fresh rainwater.

      "D-Don't...leave me. Please." Jiyong's breath trickled on my neck, giving me a blood curdling tingle at my spine. I couldn't say anything because my tears blocked my mouth. The lightening outside the window flashed and a brilliant streak ice blue lit up the room for half a second. My face was twisted into some sort of pitiful frown and my voice was stolen by my breathing.

"P-Please...please." Jiyong's voice was nothing more than a whimper. He was begging.

Remi...it's time to go. If you don't leave now, you'll miss your flight. My conscience told me. Don't make this so hard for me oppa...it's for your own good.

I stripped his arms off of me and stepped forward away from his touch. I paused for one last time and the lightening struck again, even harder this time. And then I ran out of the house. As I ran, I kept my hand on my stomach, my hand perfectly curved over it. The lightening was endless and it seemed as if it was a temporary light that lit up the dark sinister sky. But as with temporary lights go, the lightening could only keep the night bright for a few seconds. The rain fell down hard on me, pulling me hard and anchoring my feet so that I couldn't leave but my mind kept telling me to leave. I remembered reading somewhere that if love was meant to be, then it would come back around, no matter what happened and no matter how far the distance was. I was hoping that was true. But that night, every drop that pummeled down on me were like knives stabbing down my heart; a sharp reminder that told me that I shouldn't go but I shouldn't stay either. It was dangerous but it wanted me pinned down near him.

And so, I ran. Goodbye Korea. Goodbye Jiyong.

--- Oh wow can't believe that I left this chapter out..