(??? Point of view)

         I delicately traced her jawline with my fingers, soft and light to the touch. She was sleeping but her closed eyes were traced with worry and stress, as if she could still see the world's problems in her sleep. The way she slept always made me feel so calm. That's what I loved about her, the way her breathing was so sweet and rhythmic, her pink inviting lips always slightly open as if they were waiting for me, and the way her eyes made little smiles when they were closed peacefully. 

But now...they weren't smiles any more. My heart ached when I saw her...kissing him. I couldn't cry, but I felt tears squeezing out of my heart and my body was shaking. It was pain that I never knew existed. The world felt as if everything was shattering and there was no way to save it. 

        But now she was here, with me. Well she was sleeping but still. Her light head on my lap, gracefully still and beautiful. Her long elegant eyelashes laced the line of her eyes and were brimmed with tears. Soft light pink blushed on her cheeks and her breathing tickled my leg. The way she made me smile like an idiot to myself just thinking about her. Just looking at her brought back all the reminiscent memories that she gave me.

         ..., am I crying? I quickly ran my finger up to my eyes and sure enough I felt wet tears dribbling down my face. 

 I'm so pathetic. Why the hell am I crying? I'm a grown man. I quietly scoffed. I bit my lip hard to stop my tears and looked up at the ceiling. It was hard to look at her. No, painful. I just couldn't bring myself to think that all her tears...all the pain that she's going through...was because of me. 

         She let out a small moan and I froze. I can't let her see my tears. I swallowed hard and continued to treat the cut on her forehead.

 

         "...you collapsed on the ground and hit your head." Jiyong said as he reached over to the bed stand to grab a band-aid. 

I felt his chest so close to my face when he leaned over. I swallowed and blinked hard. The room seemed unfamiliar, and too perfect. I guessed it was some sort of hotel. 

         Jiyong slowly placed a band-aid right on the cut and pat it gently. 

         He sighed, "there. You're okay now." I touched my forehead cautiously.

         I didn't want to move though. My head felt so comfortable on his lap and everything about this just felt so casual... If nothing had happened at all. But I knew that I had to. I couldn't stay on his lap, I couldn't pretend like nothing happened. We couldn't be together. 

         I lifted my head off his lap and tried to get up but Jiyong caressingly grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back down. I was facing directly up at his face. Jiyong looked as if he were examining me but then his lips gave off a small smile.

         "Not yet, we should still check if you're okay." 

         He held up his hand above my face, casting shadows and covering the light from my eyes.

 Jiyong held up two fingers, "How many fingers am I holding?"

       I frowned. "Two." 

He wiggled four fingers. "How many now?" Jiyong looked as if he was enjoying this.

       "Four."

       Jiyong held up all five fingers and kept moving his fingers so that the number changed. "What about now?" 

I wanted to smile, and laugh and giggle. I wanted to just jump up and kiss him right on his smiling lips. But instead I kept a straight face and sighed.

         "I almost got caught because of you....In the middle of Hongdae, trying to carry a knocked out drunk girl." Jiyong walked over to the large window and let out a small laugh. Outside was pitch black except for the Seoul city lights sparkling brightly. 

         I looked down and grabbed at the sleeves of the shirt. "I'm sorry." I said.

         Jiyong paused for a moment and then turned back to face me. "That guy...you were with-"

         "He's my boyfriend." I said bluntly, cutting him off.

          "I didn't ask." Jiyong snapped and turned back around. The nape of his neck was so perfectly tense and I could see his reflection on the big window. His eyes grazed over and then looked down.

          Why was he doing this to me? Why did he have to make me feel like I wasn't of any importance at all? I used to be someone that he loved. And he was someone that I loved. We loved each other and understood each other. But why did he have to act like ing strangers now?!

         I in a deep breath and  closed my eyes. "How's it going with you...and her?"

         Jiyong took a large sip of his drink and swallowed it all down. He let the glass down on the table and grabbed his phone and keys off the table. Without even looking at me, as he slipped on his large sunglasses, he said, "I already paid for the room, so you can sleep here or you can leave now. I'll call you a taxi."

 

       Without saying anything, Jiyong pushed his sunglasses back up and opened the door to leave. When he left, he closed the door with a slam that seemed better than the silence he gave me. I slowly ed Jiyong's shirt that was on me and took it off. The room felt disturbingly cold and empty. I sat up on the bed and pulled my knees up to my face. 

       What he had given me was something more than an experience. Jiyong taught me love and hope and excitement of life. He had filled an empty void in me, full of love and happiness. But then now he left me nothing but a hole. An empty miserable hole that Jiyong had dug up and carried away, now festering with winter cold and shivering blood of torn up memories. Tears welled up in that empty hole.

 Jiyong had left a bang in my heart.