Chapter 44
A Bang In The Heart
Bright...Too bright...Ugh. My eyes opened but immediately shut when I saw the ravishing sun through the curtains.
Putting a hand over my eyes, I flickered them open, gradually adjusting to the brightness in the room. The sun was invitingly warm, putting a soft blanket of heat over my bare skin. A thin blanket barely covered half my body and a soft breeze trickled over me.
I evaded the sun and shoveled my face deeply into whatever was in front of me. His warm and wide chest. He smelled of faint traces of cigarette smoke and a toned scent of his musky sweat. I loved the way he smelled, the mixture of freshness and traces from everything he went through. On late nights from the studio, he smelled of creative music and the sweet mineral water that he drank relentlessly. On days from recordings, he smelled of a conglomerate of cologne and perfumes from the people he met. On days after a shower...it was just heaven.
How wonderful would it be to wake up every morning like this?
Jiyong shifted so that his beautiful face tilted downwards towards me. His features were so perfectly defined, even more so because of his recent weight loss. I cupped my hand on his cheek and gave him a morning kiss on his fine lips.
He let out a soft moan without moving his lips and shifted again.
But one thing wrong was that...he loved to sleep. Even more than I did.
"Waaaaaaake up" I whispered into his ear, my hair messily falling over my shoulder.
Jiyong squirmed like a caterpillar and turned to face the other way. Huh? He rather choose sleep over me? I scoffed.
I moved closer to him, or more towards his . His back was perfectly toned, his muscles lean and tight. With my fingers, I traced the words of his tattoos on his back, hoping that it would tickle him, but it was to no avail.
Wandering around the large spacious room, my eyes looked over to the clock which now read 11:30 am. Thank god Jiyong said he didn't have a busy schedule today. I wanted today to be a relaxing day for him and for me.
I rolled over to him, peeping over his broad shoulders.
"Jiyong-shi~" I pestered him.
Jiyong finally rolled back and began to open his fluttering eyes.
"Argjmfmf". His voice muffled behind his pillow.
I laughed and leaned close. "What?"
"I wan...." Jiyong breathed heavily, "I wan..."
"What do you want?" I giggled under his tickling breath.
Then I felt fingers creep up at my sides, tickling me mercilessly. I squirmed and laughed till my sides hurt, his fingers attacking me to no end.
Finally I held a grasp of his hands and held them up to his face. Jiyong's eyes were closed but on his lips there was a thin mischievous smile. His eyes opened fully, now completely rested and peaceful.
He combed my hair with his fingers and tucked the strands behind my ear.
"Ahhh...What shall we do today?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We ate ramen for brunch Dōtonbori. Jiyong said he'd take me to his favorite ramen shop and it became mine too. We went over to Nipponbashi to wonder at all the strange items sold.. And to end the day, we held our hands tightly as we walked over the Shinsaibashi bridge with harmonic footsteps. He bought me flowers, well a flower to be exact, a single perfect red rose with delicately crafted petals and he held my hand with the most relaxed yet securing grip. To make the day even better, we caught a glimpse of the late blossoming Sakura flower trees. It showered us in delight and it felt almost as if it was a scene straight from a romantic film.
Oh how I wished this day wouldn't end.
This whole time, Jiyong seemed to be at ease. He wasn't covered heavily in disguise, he was dressed pretty casually, in normal dark jeans and a white dress shirt that made him look extraordinarily classy.
But the day had to end and reality kicked in painfully. I had to go back to Korea and Jiyong had to continue his work in Japan.
~~~~~~~~~
"Remi-ya, I'll miss you...don't worry about me. I'll call you when I get back to Korea." That's what he said before I got on the most miserable plane flight of my life. I wanted to be with him and it showed through all the tears I were wrenching out of my eyes.
The kid sitting next to me looked at me like I was the strangest person in the world. And I was. I was confused and stressed yet so happy. I was in love.
~~~~~~~~
When I arrived home, Sua as usual asked me all sorts of questions. Well I guess she died down a little bit after her "shock".
"Remi... You look different." Sua said as she pried opened the lid to her soda.
I shrugged and smiled, "I don't know."
"You're...prettier? I guess? Don't get me wrong you were pretty before but..." Sua held her hands up in defense.
I laughed, "Thanks girl."
"So uhh what you guys do in the... Um hotel?" Sua casually looked up and took a sip from her pop. It was so obvious that she was curious.
All I could do was put my hand up to my forehead and let out a stifled giggle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jiyong had arrived in Korea, he called me but couldn't "see" me. He was already preparing for GdYb promotions, practicing rehearsals for the shows they would be on also colliding in with the practices and preparation for the tour. He was swamped with his work and of course it would be just another burden for me to call him to meet up.
But nonetheless, we still met up...with the excuse of English lessons. The lessons were cut short and seemed to be tiring. Jiyong looked less interested and his face was lined with illness. His usual wide spread smiles were now something of a straight serious line.
Of course I was busy too. I took up late night tutoring on the nights I didn't have part time and schoolwork that I had to grade came in by the hundreds. I still had to pay for the rent, even though I split it with Sua and it was in such a ghetto neighborhood, it was still considered within the city limits so the rent was crazy high.
And days flew by, there was something that seemed to just disappear. Jiyong stopped calling every night and turned to every week. The lessons shortened off even more until they were almost completely gone.
Most of the conversations on our limited time went like this.
"Hey."
"Hi...what are you doing?"
"Just getting ready to go on stage for Mcountdown."
"Good luck oppa...hwaiting!"
A simple hushed sigh "Yep, see you."
Or
"Jagi-ya...what are you doing?"
"Just gonna go to sleep, I'm crazy tired right now."
"Oh.. I'm at the studio."
"Really?"
"Really."
"That's...nice. Listen I'm tired oppa...I'll call you tomorrow."
"Oh... Um jaljah*"
His voice was always tired and almost annoyed when I called. And because of that I got annoyed and pissed off. How could something we had break apart like this?
It was sad, how this relationship came about. Almost a month and a half passed by like this. This entire time, I only saw him three times, for less than and hour. The rest of the time, I saw him through television.
I was so consumed in my own work and his in his that we seemed to live completely different lives. He was an entertainer, producer and a celebrity. I was just a high school teacher, just getting by with her pay. How much more different could it be.
After lingering in a state of constant worry and distress that something was going on between us, things worsened when the threat letters started again. The letters came in by tens. All the same handwriting and same pattern of words. The same colorful origami paper plastered into envelopes. My heart sunk and a terrible feeling resided in my gut when I read them. I didn't want to read them, I really didn't. But when curiosity kicked in, I had to.
Who the hell was this? I felt furious and sick to my stomach whenever I saw a new bundle at the footsteps of my front door.
Like Jiyong said, I called him and told him about the ever so increasing letters. He sounded alarmed, almost frightened. His words became choppy and quick as he told me to call the police.
The police said they couldn't do anything because of the anonymous sender they knew nothing about. The most they could do was keep a look out and told me to stay safe.
Stay safe? What was that supposed to mean?
~~~~~~~~~~~
Things felt empty and all wrong. there was an anxiety increasing inside of me and even I began to lose hope. After almost about two weeks of no sound from Jiyong, I finally got a text from him...
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