Chapter 34
A Bang In The Heart
I winced at the sound of the door closing.
"Hm...Youngbae wouldn't rat us out, I'm pretty sure." Jiyong laughed light heartedly. That was the least of my problems right now.
"B-But..."
"Don't worry bout it, Youngbae isn't that kind of person."
I sighed at the frustration and gripped the heart necklace even tighter.
"What are you guys doing today?" I asked, even though what I really wanted to ask was "What was YOUNGBAE doing here today."
"Ah... Youngbae needs to record his solo, 'Beside you' in English. He translated it himself and Teddy hyung said its really good." Jiyong rubbed his tired eyes.
"Oh..." I at Jiyong's shirt.
"You can come listen later, we still have to adjust the lyrics to the beat...and you know how long that'll take" Jiyong ran his fingers through his cold blue hair.
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I went upstairs to the management floors to find aunt Leda so I could talk to her about my recent progress in finding a secure job as an English teacher. But of course, she had been busy that she didn't have much time to look for anything so I realized how much I was on my own.
After talking for about an hour or so, I headed back downstairs to the main recording rooms where I knew they would be recording.
Even before entering, I could see the dimly lit light coming from the blurred glass and a soft beat buzzing from the room.
I entered as quietly as I could and the soft melodic beat flushed into my ears. There were about five people in the room, all focused deeply into the music and staring concentratedly at their screens. I spotted Jiyong's cool blue hair sticking above one of the black chairs bobbing slowly to the smooth R&B music flowing from the speakers. I dared not to interrupt and walked quietly behind to the back of the room and listened.
Then I heard it. His chilled soft voice that left shivers down my spine. A clashing beat came in to overlay the passionate piano notes to accompany Youngbae's heart wrenching voice. I saw him through the thick glass from the recording room and as Youngbae began to sing his first verse, his eyes gazed over mine.
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Even through the dim lights and layers of glass, I could see his eyes glisten with a sense of hopelessness and his forehead was furrowed in a painful looking frown.
My heart pounded even more as I heard more of the perfectly accented English and the heartfelt lyrics that sounded as if...it was directly meant for me.
Then the chorus hit and the butterflies in my stomach scurried out of me, leaving my throat dry and my tear filled eyes almost about to burst open.
<<...Beside you, beside you, I stand beside you. Holding your hands, kissing your lips, you're in my arms...>> Youngbae paused slightly before he crescendoed his voice to an excruciatingly painful but beautiful note in a catharsis to the buildup of the song. I could see his eyes in torment as he struck out the high heavy notes. His hands curled up into a tight fist in the air.
<<... But when I open my eyes, it's just a DREAM>> The song's volume thrillingly dropped to a silence except for the single melody of the piano playing in the background.
Youngbae's voice cracked as he lifelessly sighed out the last few lines of the song.
<<...I'm not the one beside you... In the end, that's all the pain that you'll never know... Beside you. Beside you... Beside you.>> his voice quieted to a whisper and then it was over. Youngbae's eyes drew down to the ground as I heard claps coming from everyone in the room.
"Yah Youngbae-yah, this time was perfect! Good job!!"
I sighed deeply and looked at the ground, hoping that they wouldn't notice me, especially not Youngbae.
The door from the small recording room opened and Youngbae quickly walked out. His face was grim and his lips were held tightly together. He nodded at the praises and as he turned, his eyes saw me. For a second, he looked normal, no hatred or anything but rather than coming over to say something, he pushed the door open and bolted out of the room.
The producers turned over to see where he went, "Youngbae-yah where you going?"
Jiyong saw me when he turned around, "Oh Remi-yah, you were here?" I nodded and without thinking, I pushed the room open and walked out. I had to talk to him. I didn't, I couldn't let this be like this forever.
The hallway was already empty, but I knew where he would be at.
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The room was open just by a crack and I could already see the dreadful sunset shine through the small crevice. Sneaking my head in, I saw Youngbae sitting on the ground with his knees up to his chest and facing out towards the sunset.
Quietly walking over to him on my tip toes, I sat down next to him, just about a foot away. Youngbae said nothing and kept his gaze fixed on the skyline. His eyes looked calm and his side view was still. Instead of trying to talk to him, I sat there quietly, watching the sun slowly crawl down and the colors of bright orange red fall into colors of purple and magenta.
"So it was Jiyong?" Youngbae breathed deeply and swallowed.
I looked down at my fingers wrapped tightly around the heart chain necklace.
"I think...I knew. Every time I thought of it, I pushed it down. I didn't want to but I did. I guess...I was selfish and ignorant." Youngbae chuckled softly, tilting his hat down over his eyes.
I didn't say anything but just listened.
"I...just- just really" Youngbae paused and laughed at himself cruelly, "...really must have loved you.."
I felt my lips grimace and swallowed hard.
Youngbae sunk his head down for a little while and then drew his face back up. He finally turned to me and his face was back to the normal Youngbae that I used to know. The usual friendly face and the eyesmiles that he would give me Everytime he looked at me. I must have really missed it because a tear dripped from my eye when I finally saw it.
"Well, since it's Jiyong, I'm okay with it." Youngbae smiled widely and nodded assuringly.
I let a small sad smile as I pulled myself up and leaned down to hug him. I hugged him like a friend would, my heart eased itself in beating and my arms wrapped tightly around him. While doing so, my fingers unclasped the chain necklace and put it on Youngbae's neck. The burden was off of me now and a more friendlier weight came upon me.
When I let go of him, Youngbae looked up at me and smiled, his fingers wrapped around the heart pendant.
"There's so many other girls out there for you...but I don't think
"...Jiyongie... He's a good kid. Everything he does, he does it for a good reason. He can be difficult to read sometimes, he seems really tough and cold but...he's really weak when it comes to love." Youngbae explained thoroughly.
I nodded and wiped the wet single tear from my cheek.
"So Remi...if you do anything to him, you don't know what I'll do! But if he does anything to you....I'll kill him." Youngbae gave a quick wink and laughed. I finally felt myself laughing along with him.
The friendship between us was repaired and everything felt back to normal. I appreciated Youngbae's understanding mind so much and loved him even more...as a friend.
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"Yah...but what did you two talk about?" Jiyong shuffled his feet with his hands deeply in his pockets. He wore a black hat over his hair and covered his face in his jacket. The street was warm and once again deep dark. The narrow alley felt hallow and the street lamps crowded us together in the middle of the street.
"I told him...um.. H-How much I loved his lyrics! They were really good weren't they?!" I stuttered as I kept my vision straight up.
Jiyong looked around carefully with his face still down low and resumed walking. "Remi-ya... You don't have to hide it. I know Youngbae likes you."
My heart stopped. ...so he knew already?
"How d'you know?" I asked walking a bit slower.
"The way he sang...and everytime he looks at you, I can tell." Jiyong straightened his arms in his pockets and turned his body towards me. I could see a cute smile form at his lips and his eyes twinkled, "...and if you haven't noticed, in his lyrics...he says 'let me' alot... And he pronouced it like 'Remi'. It was a little inside joke we made on the day we met you. Since your name sounds like 'let me'" Jiyong chuckled playfully.
So that's what it was? I was wondering why the lyrics seemed like it repeated alot.
"So you talked about me before? Behind my back?" I raised my eyebrows.
"Well yeah...you're kind of hot." Jiyong smiled and kept his focus on his feet.
"Ah Moya~" I pushed gently at his side laughing. Jiyong pretended to almost fall and tilted back, leaning onto me. I tried to hold him up but we both lost our balance and crashed into the brick wall by us.
When I looked up from finally getting back on my feet, we had already arrived at the sad dark looking duplex.
Jiyong and I raced up the short flight of stairs and all of sudden, he crashed me into the wall dividing our doors. His firmly gripped hands held my arms tightly against the wall, making me unable to move. From the dim street light, I could see little blue strands of hair stick out from his hat and Jiyong's shiny eyes viciously examined me like a prey.
My breath stopped short but I could hear Jiyong's aroused breathing brush against my neck as he bit his y lips.
"Ah oppa..." I sighed and tried to hold back my excitement from his teasing.
"I have you all to myself tonight...finally" Jiyong spoke in an unusually friendly way that scared me even more than he would have said it seducingly. I squirmed and lifted my head slowly towards his delicate lips.
Jiyong smiled but his eyes retained this cold scary look. Finally, Jiyong leaned closer so that I could feel the surround heat from his lips against mine. As soon as his skin touched the tip of my lips and I could feel his scent hug me, the door to my house swung open violently and a bright yellow light blinded us.
"YAH!!!! YOU ING BASTARD!! GET OFF HER!"
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