Chapter 69
A Bang In The Heart
** Blinding lights flickered as I walked out of my house. There were cameras everywhere! About twenty people jam packed in the little area in the front of our house. People were shouting and attacking verbally with questions. I put a hand in front of my face and shied away from the cameras.
"Excuse me!! Are you in a secret relationship with G-Dragon!??!"
"Are you aware of the fact that he is already in another relationship with Miko Kazuhara!?"
"Are you dating G-Dragon??!! I heard you're in a serious relationship!! Is that true?!"
"Is it true that YG entertainment will cancel the Bigbang comeback because of your relationship?!"
My body froze at that question. Wait a second...what?
Everything seemed to be going crazy, the sky turned a reddish dreary color as the members of Bigbang walked in between the crowd. Seungri had his arms crossed with a scornful look on his face.
He spat at the ground and spoke harshly, "Did you really want to tear us apart like that Remi? You do realize we lost half our fan base because of you."
Then TOP jumped in to the scene, "Yah, Remi. You...Do you know how hard we worked for us to become this successful?"
Daesung came in behind TOP with his finger shaking at me, "You Remi...you're the devil. You know that?"
Youngbae came in behind Seungri with a disappointed look on his face.
"Oppa..." I pleaded.
"Remi... I just can't believe you. Did you really think that telling the world of your relationship with Jiyong would make Jiyong happy? You just blew his career. Just..blew it. All those years of practicing and working hard to come to this day and you ruined it for him. For all of us. I just can't believe you." He shook his head.
And lastly, Jiyong came into view. There was a saddened smile on his lips. "You...just couldn't wait huh? That's okay.. I'm okay. As long...as long as I have you." Jiyong's eyes casted down to the ground and he turned away from me.
I didn't know what to say, my words were blocked and my neck was choked.
In the background, there were young teenage girls with vicious looks in their eyes...waiting to kill someone. Me.
They're coming to get me!! They're running and running-**
"AHHHHH!!!" I screamed suddenly as I sat up from my bed.
Then I realized. No running girls, no cameramen, and no bigbang. I was just in my PJs on my bed.
Oh my god. Was that just a dream? That was one hell of a dream.
I placed my hand over my chest and my heart was beating ridiculously fast.
I sighed out loud as I wiped the sweat off my brow.
But the dream, it all felt too real. Jiyong's disappointed expression on his face and everything about it. Would that happen if our relationship would be made public?
Sighing again, I got off my bed and walked out of my room.
It was a lazy Sunday, one of the only days that I could actually do nothing and feel good about myself.
I glanced at the Bigbang calendar on the fridge and saw the date.
"It's already been...one, two, three weeks since Jiyong left." I said out loud as I counted my fingers.
Hmmm...something felt really odd about me these days though. I've felt different. And strange different.
Sua creeped out of her room as she yawned. Without saying anything, she reached into the refrigerator and took out a packet of yogurt.
It smelled pungent and practically disgusting. I immediately covered my nose and mouth to stop myself from smelling it.
"Sua!! That's spoiled!! Throw it away!" I yelled at her as I took the yogurt out of her hands and dumped it in to the sink.
Sua had the most confused look on her face. "Why the hell d'you do that? That was my breakfast thank you very much!"
I shook my head as I ran to the bathroom. I felt something come up in my throat. There was a terrible nauseating feeling at the put of my stomach mixed with strange unusual cramps.
Come to think of it...my period was supposed to have come...yesterday!
I quickly got on the toilet and checked for any blood. Negative.
Oh gosh...was it because I stopped taking the anti-depressant pills?
Another heavy cramp seemed to squirm it's way through and I pressed my hand hard at my stomach to stop it.
Trying not to give it too much thought, I pulled my pants back up and got of of the bathroom.
Sua was watching morning tv and flipping through the channels. In between one of the channels, I thought I saw something so I stopped her.
"Wait Sua, go back to the other channel." I pointed to the screen.
Sua growled as she gave me a glare and switched back.
The first thing I heard when Sua switched to the channel was an announcer's voice.
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Sua and I looked at each other at the same time and then back at the screen.
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<< Fans are saddened by the break up but it seems so on Internet sites and social networking, most of the fans are happy that this relationship is over! Are you happy with this break up? Comment on our post online!>>
And the flash news segment was over.
"What the..." Sua said.
I scratched my head. Was this going to affect me in anyway?
Sua had already taken out her laptop and was looking up articles of their break up. "It's true Remi...they did break up."
I sat next to her and leaned in to read it.
And like she said, it was true. The article wasn't too shocking at all, but more so the comments.
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And so on. I had to stop reading the comments because the nauseating feeling in my stomach got worse again.
"Dang, these girls are worse than me." Sua opened up another pack of yogurt. The smell instantly made me want to hurl so badly. It was blood curdlingly gross, mixed with the scent of throw up and gasoline oil.
"SUA!!!" I yelled as I pulled a pillow up to my face.
She purposely took a large spoonful and slipped it into .
"It's not spoiled. It's good until next week! What the hell is wrong with you?"
I snatched the yogurt out of her hands and ran to the sink to dump it in there again.
"W-Why?? That was the last one! Something is so wrong with you! Something is so definitely wrong with-" Sua froze at her words and covered in shock.
I stopped and finally pulled my hand down to breath again.
"Y-You're not...pregnant are you?" She asked slowly.
Pregnant..? I couldn't be!
I laughed nervously at the absurdity of it and shook my head.
"N-No... Of course not! It's just-" I immediately felt my hand go up to my stomach.
Then I felt my spine tingle from the reality of it. The strange cramps, my late period, the weird smells. What if I was?
"That night! When you guys did it! Was it protected or did you guys just...do it??" Sua pointed eagerly at me.
Little laughs kept coming out of my mouth.
"I-I don't remember! I don't know!" I said as my head shook numerous times. But I did kind of remember, and I had no memory of Jiyong taking out a that night.
"Are you tired these days? Do you get cramps? Are you emotional?"
I frowned "Since when were you a gynecologist?"
Sua walked into her room as if she had something she wanted to show me. "My sister just got pregnant last month!"
Sua walked out of her room with something in her hand. A small white cardboard box. "I had to go buy it for my sister but she didn't need it."
She handed me the box and I knew right away what it was. A pregnancy test.
A bunch of things rushed into my head. What if I was pregnant?! This wouldn't be too good...our plans. I was supposed to wait for Jiyong patiently. I couldn't be pregnant now!
Without any words, I swallowed hard and walked into the bathroom with a gloomy look on my face.
After following the instructions in the box, the test was almost ready. I just had to wait ten more minutes.
Those ten minutes seemed to have been ten hours. I don't remember how many times I gulped during that time. The bathroom was silent and the wait nearly killed me.
So many scenarios and thoughts flushed inside my head. Even if I was pregnant...which was only a possibility, I would be okay with it.
I told myself over and over that either way would be good.
But when the test was ready, everything in my life seemed to freeze.
I raised my eyebrows and blinked about fifty million times to see if I saw right. On the little opening of a window on the test was the sign which told me if I was pregnant or not.
I felt the little hairs on my neck stand and my heart almost stopped when I saw the little blood red cross on the small screen.
I whispered into the thin air as a lonely tear streaked down my face. "I'm...pregnant."
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