Chapter 32
A Bang In The Heart
. Right before footsteps walked into the room, Jiyong's eyes flashed and widened with surprise. I panicked right at that moment and felt my brain freeze. My body tightened in shock and my mouth flew open as I almost instinctively pushed Jiyong back hard. Jiyong spun around when I pushed him and his body smacked violently the corner of one of the nearest desks. But the worst part was WHERE had hit himself on the desk.
Teddy and the other producers came in talking with each other, "Yah that was hilarious, you know how he did that? They were-...Ah Jiyong-ah, you came?" They froze when they saw Jiyong.
Jiyong grabbed his crotch and made no noise at first as he scrunched his back. When his body spun over back to face me, I could see the agonizing pain that ripped through his body. His eyes were closed tightly and his nose scrunched up, revealing his clenched teeth opening slightly every few seconds to creep out a small moan. It's moan was different than the one I heard before.
Seungri walked in behind them and smiled brightly when he saw Jiyong "Ah hyung! You just came back from Japan right?! I came back yester...w-wait, hyung what's wrong?"
I covered my mouth as Jiyong slowly rotated down and sunk to the ground, his hands still covering his crotch.
"Yah...what's wrong with him?" One of the guys asked as he pointed at the pitiful looking Jiyong on the ground.
Jiyong was now curled up in a fetal position on the ground with his mouth gaping open.
"O-Oppa... Are you okay?" I slowly crouched down to him with my hands held out.
"Yah, you! Remi, what did you do?!! Did you kick him?? Down there?" Seungri accusingly pointed at me as he stepped forward towards Jiyong.
Teddy and the other producers in their breaths and whispered little "Ow"s.
"I didn't kick him! Wha- what?? No!!" I shouted back.
Seungri growled, "Remi-ya you..I didn't see you this way-"
Jiyong let out a little whimper as he squirmed on the ground, "U-Umma.."
"You two shut up. What are we gonna do with him?" One of the producers squatted down to massage Jiyong's legs.
"R-Remi ya, look away for a second." Teddy told me as he held up Jiyong's arm. I quickly nodded and turned to face the wall.
After a few pats and small crying whimpers, Jiyong finally made a recovery...but he mind was still a bit unconscious.
"Yah, at least you'll still be able to have babies" Teddy joked when we sat down to begin working again.
"Ahh hyung.." Jiyong released a small smile but his eyes were sad and tired.
Seungri covered his mouth to hold in a laugh.
Jiyong glared at him and grabbed at his shirt playfully, "Yah, why are you laughing? You want to experience near death?"
Seungri laughed hard and pulled away from Jiyong, looking at his cellphone, "Hyung hyung hyung, ahh I have to go now. My mom wants to see me."
"How come I see your posts on Instagram more than I see you in real life?" Jiyong locked his arm around Seungri to hold him down.
"Ani* jinjjaro* hyung... I have to go"
...and most of the days passed like this. We would be working, me mostly outside of the studio, giving lessons and helping translate beside Lydia and Teddy oppa. Whenever Jiyong and I crossed ways and our eyes locked, we gave each other small smiles and occasionally touched hands as we passed by. It was fun and hard, both ways to the extreme. On some nights, Jiyong stayed inside the studio till past midnight and he would make me go home early. But I wanted to be by him as much as I could. Just seeing him work was one thing but spending time with him, it was so rare that I almost forgot we were even in love.
Youngbae on the other hand had much more free time since he wasn't so into the producing part of it. We spent hours just talking to each other in English and I swear by god, he was well on his track to fluency. We were friends and I felt entirely comfortable with him...but maybe it was only me. Because I seemed to have a whole different idea of "friend" than Youngbae did with me.
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*Ani- "no"
*Jinjjaro- "really"
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I picked up my bag and gathered my things, "Alright then oppa, I guess then I'll see you next week."
Youngbae focused closely on to a random spot on the ground and frowned as if he was thinking hard. I waited for him to say something. He took his hat off to reveal his soft flatted out hair and tousled it out. Youngbae looked into my eyes with a concentrated glare and then grabbed gently at my arm.
"...wait. Don't go yet." Youngbae sighed and his eyes became wary as they shyly traced back down to the ground.
I froze and looked down at his sad looking hands holding on to my arm. His hand slid down and wrapped around my hand. My hands began to sweat and my body turned hot. Wait... What was he doing??
Youngbae's grip was hard and tight. He swallowed lightly and turned his head back to me, his smile radiating with a sudden burst of confidence. "I have something to show you."
I followed behind him in acquiesce with his rugged hand still strongly gripping mine. They were different from Jiyong's hands which were thin and intertwining. Youngbae's hand was protective and almost felt if it was hugging mine. Without any words, we reached the highest floor which contained the marketing department and YG's office. Instead of going to either of those places, he led me into a small room with a wide window revealing a clear and beautiful view looking down on all the little buildings of the area. I could see the cotton candy pink and purple clouds crowding in on the sky as the sun was beginning to set.
The wood floored room was empty except for a few boxes and movable office cabinets.
"Wow, this is...amazing!" I smiled brightly going close to the window.
"I know right? It was supposed to be a part of sajangnim's office but he chose not to have it... And I found it." Youngbae grinned as he looked around the room. "You better not tell anyone! The only other person who knows of this is Jiyong."
I laughed and Youngbae his lips as he let out a stifled laugh.
"I promise, I won't... Thanks for showing me this." I looked back at the window.
From behind, I heard Youngbae's trembling voice very close to my ear.
"But...there's another thing I want to show you."
I turned around to find Youngbae sheepishly reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a small chain of something and smiled when he opened his fingers to reveal it. It was a small silver necklace that looked old but well care of. A small intricately designed heart shaped pendant hung on the chain with a thin elegant cross in the middle of it.
"It was my mom's, and before that, my grandma's. My grandma gave it to my dad, and told him to give it to the one girl he loves most in the world. And now my mom gave it to me..." Youngbae held up the necklace and smiled as he admired it. "...she wants me to give it to the one girl I love most in the world."
When his eyes glazed over from the necklace to me, my mind went numb and I was speechless. No...no... This was- he was... This can't be...
My body was frozen and my mouth let out inaudible noises, not able to say a single word. Youngbae unclasped the necklace chain open and leaned in across to hug me, his fingers hooking the necklace behind my neck. I felt the cold, foreign pendant stab me as it landed heavily on the upper part of my chest, giving me a sense of burden and guilt. This was... I couldn't do this..
But instead of words, I felt a slow cold tear fall across down my skin. It felt devastating and my throat was dry and empty. It was as if I'd forgotten how to even talk.
"Don't..." Youngbae wiped my tear and his eyes calmed to a soft focused stare. His hands reached towards me and rested around my waist. My eyes twisted into a sad frown but my mind invaded itself of so many contrasting emotions in a clashing battle.
All in a flash, Youngbae tilted his head slightly and leaned in to kiss me slowly. His lips were shy and inexperienced as if he was going through an unexplored feeling. I felt his arms wrap around me and started to go up a bit as he lightly pushed me against the window.
My tears streamed out in waves as he continued to kiss me. My blurry visioned eyes were half open and I could see him so close to me. His eyes looked so kind and were filled with this passion that I was scared to interrupt. He smelled of strong, overpowering cologne that seemed to collapse me inside of his embrace. No... Remi stop it....
He continued his love filled kiss and I was frozen, not being able to do anything.
Jiyong's scent and kiss ran over my mind...his kiss was what I longed for. Not this.. Jiyong! At the final tear that slid down, I finally regained my mind and body back as I forcibly pushed Youngbae away. I breathed in the stuffy air hard and covered my lips as I shook my head in a frown.
Tears continued to fall as I tried to let my cracked voice out, "I-I can't... I c-can't do this..."
Youngbae's face filled with worry and he held up his trembling hand to wipe my tears "I'm sorry, that was too soon wasn't it? I shouldn't hav-"
"No, I can't! Oppa, I really can't do this to you..." I sobbed and let out in a loud breath.
His eyes immediately flushed with sadness and his mouth staggered open trying to gutter out a voice, "W-What's wrong? I'm sorry Remi-"
"I have someone else I love!" I almost yelled.
Before I ran out of the room, I swear, I saw his eyes glisten like a lake reflecting a sad picture of me and a sad miserable thump sighed from the room as I left.
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