Chapter 53
A Bang In The Heart
The was a harsh tug at my heart strings as I felt a stir at the pit of my stomach.
Youngbae took over Jiyong's lines as he continued to pump up the mood. No one else seemed to realize that Jiyong was just...standing there. Oppa...stop looking at me like that.
"Remi-ya!! You gotta dance!!" Jung-hwa put his arms around my waist as he pulled me in close. I hesitated at his touch but I kept my eyes still on Jiyong.
Jiyong swiftly went down and grabbed his mike back in his hands as if he was just doing a simple dance. As if nothing happened at all. The song continued furiously as the duo kept singing and jumping to the music. Everyone was going crazy and jumping. My mind felt loose and out of control as Junghwa kept his hands on me. I let go of everything in my mind and let loose all the stress.
When the song was over, the two banished off stage and then the dj came back on. Everyone just resumed dancing casually.
"Hey babe, do you want another drink?" Junghwa squeezed my shoulder. Babe? Since when did I become his lover?
Instead of thinking about it, I gently shook my head. "Sorry oppa...um.. I'm gonna go get some fresh air."
Junghwa took a long shot of his drink and smiled widely at me. "Okay, just don't leave me!"
I nodded and turned away from the crown and made my way out into the the dark hallway that led outside. The hallway was long and tall, a few green laser lights managed to escape from the main club room and the song beats were muted.
I felt a hand wrap around my arm that gently pulled me back before I stepped out of the club.
I turned around to see and even though it was dark, I could make out who it was. I recognized that friendly grin and hair anywhere.
"Ah oppa! I just saw you on stage!" I smiled and went back to face him.
Youngbae smiled widely and pat down his crazy hair.
"Yeah I saw you when I was up there... I didn't expect to see you here. Who are you with? Friends?"
I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and laughed, "Yep, finally getting some night life in me."
Youngbae looked down at my outfit and back at my face, "You look pretty tonight." I could see his eyes sparkle as a shy but genuine smile came across his lips.
I tightened my lips and grinned with blush coming at my cheeks. "Thanks." Oh youngbae...why did you always have to be so nice?
"How have you been?" Youngbae placed a warm hand on my shoulder, kind and caressing, not like how Junghwa did.
I sighed deeply but smiled as widely as I could. "I'm doing good."
"And your hand...is it still bad?"
I held up the hand that had the cast on it and wiggled my fingers. "It just hurts a little if I force it to move too much but it's getting better."
"Good." Youngbae gave me a light high five and smiled.
"Was that supposed to be just a one stage thing or are you gonna keep performing tonight?" I asked.
Youngbae looked up and scratched his head, "Ahh actually no. I gotta go to short performance show at a local college that I planned to go earlier."
What about Jiyong? I wanted to ask but didn't have the guts to.
I just nodded and Youngbae pat my back as he came in close to my ear to whisper, "And by the way...that guy you were with. He doesn't seem like just a friend."
"Uh that's-"
Youngbae cut me off as he started to head outside, "I gotta go Remi, see you another time!" And off he went even before I could force a goodbye out to him.
I sighed and started to walk back into the club. Maybe I should go to the restroom just for a while to calm me down.
I could still hear the heavy bass of the clubbing music and the excited yells from the people dancing and having fun. I the sink and let the water flow to bury out sounds and looked at my face in the mirror.
I looked messy, my hair looked matted, my make up was a bit smudged but the more ier. And my skin looked sticky and hot.
What's wrong with you Remi? There are bunch of friends out there having fun, a hot guy who wants to be with you and yet you're not enjoying it??
I shook my head and turned off the faucet. Get it together girl, this is what you want.
I headed out of the restroom with a it more confidence and into the tall hallway with beaming green lasers.
I walked into the main dance floor to find where everyone else was. But where were they, I was sure they were just over-
"Hey babe, wanna go home?" A very passionate eyed Junghwa grabbed at my arm and fiercely looked into my eyes. The invasive scent of alcohol wrapped me inside of him and almost intoxicated me.
"W-Wait-" I fumbled as Junghwa pushed me towards a wall behind the bar area where people rarely walked by.
Junghwa was aroused and drunk, the combination of which that were not good when combined. He pushed me hard against the wall, my arms pinned above my head by his strong arms. Foreign lips began to kiss me hard at my neck, almost as if they were stabbing me, I couldn't breathe.
"Stop it...oppa-"
Junghwa pushed harshly at my lips with his, blocking out my plead and taking away my breath. I could taste the sweet alcohol on his lips and the scent of his sweat made me feel heavy and weak. The world felt dizzy and my stomach felt completely nauseous.
I don't want this, this isn't what I want.
I tried to mumble something and pushed as hard as I could but that only resulted in him pushing me back harder and one hand began to explore down my body. My wrist began to hurt painfully as his grip was tight and choking at my veins.
Junghwa breathed deeply and heavily as he whispered in my ear, "You want this don't you...?"
I wanted to say something but the pain at my wrist only made me bite my lip in agony and tears began to fall out, making my hair stick to my face like tape.
His hands continued to worm his way down into my pants. His fingers fumbled as they ed them and his other hand finally let go of my wrists and invasively crawled up my shirt.
The darkness, the flashing green lights and the throbbing beat all made me so dizzy and my mind was fogged.
"S-Sto-" I whimpered as I felt a knife like pain strike up at my wrist, giving me endless tears that streamed down my face. Junghwa was still forcibly kissing me through the tears and his hands held me back.
I felt disgusting and sick. Worthless and like trash. Just some girl for a drunk guy to feel up on.
Out of all this craziness and burning hell, there was a sort of angelic voice that I heard above it all. It was soft and melodic, almost like little church bells. Familiar church bells.
"Excuse me, the lady said stop."
Junghwa paused for a moment and then turned around. The body that the voice came from...I recognized it all too well.
Out of nowhere, a fist came flying out and hit Junghwa swiftly on his face, pushing him stumbling back.
Jiyong quickly looked at me, his eyes filled with worry but then looked back at Junghwa.
"WHO THE ARE YOU?!" Junghwa roared out as he stumbled towards Jiyong.
Jiyong looked hesitantly at him as if he was about to punch one more time but instead, he grabbed my hand tightly, his fingers locking with mine.
"HER ING BOYFRIEND." And he ran, pulling at my arm and leading me.
And we ran, just like any other day when we had been together, jiyong looking back at me with his sparkling eyes to make sure I was following okay. His hands tightly locked with mine like a puzzle or a lock. The way that the wind blew through my air made me feel like I was flying. There was no sense of tiredness at all. The steps we ran were in unison and reminiscent of the past. The air dried my tears completely and there was no pain in my wrist anymore.
We ran up a few flight of stairs until we reached a door which led up to the rooftop floor. The midnight moon grazed above us and the city lights shined brightly like jewels in the pitch black sky. The sounds of traffic and music graced the background noise but more than anything, it was refreshing.
But then again...it was back to reality. My wrist began to hurt again and my lungs felt overused and wasted.
Jiyong had his hands on his knees as he his hand into his hair. The way he normally did when he had something to think about.
"Worst...worst thing about being a celebrity... Is that... You can't do the that you want to do..." Jiyong regained his breath and stood up straighter, his deep black hair creating an august glow in the moonlight. His face was as usual perfect, his features beautiful and flawless. His voice was cool and slim, the way it always was.
"...damn if I could." Jiyong whispered with his face down.
I stood up straighter and buttoned my pants and flatted down my hair. "I-I didn't...need you." I said bluntly, my voice almost cracking.
A lie. That was a lie.
There was a sudden jolt of pain that anguished up my wrist, making me wince immediately. My other hand gripped it hard to somehow alleviate it.
Jiyong's eyes widened as he took a step closer towards me but I immediately backed away. His eyes filled with concern and his eyebrows were twisted up in question.
"Y-You're still in a cast?" His voice was emphasized and surprised.
Still....in a cast? That means he knew about me being in a cast before?
I shook it off as if it didn't hurt and put it behind my back.
"Don't worry about it." I swallowed hard and tried to feign confidence.
Jiyong sighed and placed a hand over his forehead. "I-I don't want you...dating guys like that."
I let my mouth open in astonishment and scoffed. Who was he to tell me who to date?
"Date guys like what? Rash? Normal guys? At least he acknowledges I'm there." I said with a loud voice. I knew I wasn't making much sense but it still made me feel better yelling at him.
"You know what I mean-" Jiyong frustratedly looked at me. His glimmering eyes reflecting the jeweled lights from the city.
"Know what!? What do you expect me to know when I don't know a thing that's going on?!!" I raised my voice and tears started pushing at my eyes.
"Remi-" Jiyong's eyes began to water a bit and his face saddened.
"NO I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU MEAN!! What do you really mean? Huh?? What's your logic behind all this?! Killing me and trying to save me and now telling me what to do, please tell me, I really want to know!" I said sarcastically. My face twisted and I clenched my teeth hard not to cry. My facial expressions felt almost at the point of bursting and breaking down but I couldn't stop here.
Jiyong started again with his voice rising as well as it was crumbling, "I know we're not together anymore..."
"Together?? We're we ever together?" All the demons in my mind escaped out of my mouth.
Jiyong swallowed hard and his pained eyes glared heavily at me, "JUST LISTEN TO ME Remi god damn it!! You think I want to do this?!!" He violently his arms in the air.
I had enough of this nonsense.
I shook my head and tried to hide my lips that were bleeding from biting too much. "No. No I'm done. I'm really done." I swallowed the lump at my throat and did a small bow towards him. "It was really nice getting to know you Jiyong-shi."
My eyes coldly looked at him. Jiyong was almost at the point of breaking down, his fists so tight they were shaking and his mouth opened to say something but nothing came out. There was this excruciatingly painful look on his face. Why was it so hard to look at?
With a trembling yet confident voice, I whispered into the now deadly silent sky. "Goodbye."
My voice cracked and so did the dam to my tears. And my eyes bled.
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