A woman in her early forties is sitting in front of Hannah. Wearing a dull green coloured blouse to a pair of black dress pants and old high heels. Hannah rarely take notice of what another person is wearing, but to spent 50 minutes talking to this woman; Hannah has nothing else to look at in the boring small room of beige walls and arm-chairs that makes you sink down uncomfortably deep. The Korean woman has a thick line of eyeliner on her eyelids, a very strict line, while she has just a little faint mascara and her eyes are piercing in to Hannah whenever she is looking up from the big writing pad in her lap. Hannah took notice of the pants before even sitting down, but when the woman crossed one leg over the other, her shoe came visible and Hannah think that her age got shown with those heels.

It is early Thursday morning, the first day of a new month, and Hannah is at her second visit at the psychologist she had promised Lee Sooman to meet. Last week she had met the woman before going to Shanghai for 5 Pieces concert and they just basically went through Hannah’s troubled moments in two hours. 50 minutes is what it usually is for each session, but the first day was special (according to this woman).

Hannah isn’t sure what she thinks of her. The woman doesn’t seem to judge and she can speak both Korean and English so when Hannah mixes up the two languages she has no problem to understand and that means she doesn’t interrupt to ask what she means. She listens well, she asks questions and on the first day Hannah came to think of the question’s that EXO’s Kai can ask her at times when they are alone. Maybe he has watched some weird show about psychology.

“I feel that you are a little distant with me, Hannah, is there something you are thinking about?” the woman asks in a low voice. It’s like an isolated room; Hannah can’t hear anything outside there.

“I have a lot on my mind, that’s all,” she answers quietly, glancing down at her hands. She wished there was a clock in here.

“You are here to talk to me about everything and anything, so please tell me what you have on your mind.” The woman is nice, she asked Hannah how she felt before and after loosing weight and went into deep questions about that. Hannah doesn’t know if she is acting to be interested, but the blonde girl has decided she will not fail her boss and for that answer questions as honest as she think she is. She isn’t a good liar either, and she doesn’t want to lie. Her life story isn’t a secret and she isn’t ashamed of it.

Hannah looks at the table between them, a white low table with a flower in the middle, some sort of candy wrapped up in paper and there is also a cup filled with pencils. She sighs when she begins to talk.

“Emelia’s grandmother died yesterday.” Hannah whispers the last words, the tears wanting to well up just by mentioning it and she is looking down at her fingers, “We spent the night comforting Emelia and I am worried about sitting here when she might need me.”

“How did she die?” the woman wonders. Hannah didn’t mention this at the first session.

“Lung cancer – Emelia knew about it for months, and last week her grandmother stopped eating… With no food or anything, she couldn’t hold on,” Hannah tells and gives a shrug on her shoulder.

“And you are worried about your friend’s reaction to this?”

“Yes,” Hannah quietly nods. “I know- I know that Emelia is really close to her family. I used to spend a lot of time with them when I was younger too, and her grandmother was really lively. She used to make apple pies for us in the summer and she always laughed when seeing Emelia eat – Emelia doesn’t eat that much, but she always ate a lot of her grandmother’s food.”

The psychologist is looking at Hannah, slowly nodding her head as if waiting for her to continue talking.

“I wonder, Hannah… Your friend is mourning, you say, but it seems to me that you also knew her grandmother. Are you mourning too?”

Hannah looks at her with blank eyes. Mourning… Hannah hasn’t thought of that, or, well, not from her own point of view. “I just want to comfort my friend,” she answers, still a little blank as she doesn’t think her own reaction is important when it is her friend who has lost her grandmother. The woman opens to say something more but Hannah continues to talk; “I guess you could say I am mourning too. All of the members were with Emelia last night when she came back from Japan, and I think you can say we shared the loss together.”

“That sounds good. As you said that you are worried about Emelia now when you are sitting here, do you often comfort each other?”

“Just Emelia and me or do you mean the whole group…?”

“Just the two of you.”

“Um… I have known Emelia for 12 years; I would say I have been able to get her comfort during all this time if I have needed it. I try to comfort her when she needs it too.” She shrugs her shoulder again.

“Do you envy her? Emelia is close to her family, you looked to remember good things when you talked about that.”

Hannah looks surprised. “If I envy her? I don’t know. I have always felt comfortable being around her family, but I don’t think I have ever seen it as envy…”

“What I mean is that if you compare you and her family; you are fighting with yours at the moment and she just lost a family member. I was wondering if you get any mixed emotions or confusion with the differences of your families.”

“There is always a difference with me and my friends, and I don’t envy or get jealous about it. I know Emelia and her family, so with her grandmother passing away I am not confused with what is going on with my family at all. We are two completely different families and I accept that.”

“Why do you accept that?” she wants to know, saying it fast for Hannah to not continue but for her to answer the question.

Hannah gets quiet, not sure what to answer. “Because I love both parts maybe, I don’t know…”

“Please think about it for a second,” the woman suggests and Hannah automatically spaces out by those words. Why does she accept that their families are different?

“What else am I supposed to do?” Hannah is frowning. “I mean, it’s… two different families, everyone having their own lives and feelings… I don’t get what you want me to say.”

The psychologist is making a small face-expression when leaning a little forward in her seat, her arms resting over her legs, looking straight at Hannah with smaller eyes. “I am trying to understand how you can have two different opinions about family. You don’t want to even think about your own family, having a very hostile reaction towards them, but with Emelia’s family… you want to comfort her and show her how important family is. It is two different opinions you have. And I am not talking about how everyone has their own lives and such: I am talking about your very own opinion about how a family is built up. Your family is hopeless while others are filled with trust.”

“So?”

“Why is that, I wonder?”

Hannah shrugs her shoulders. “Maybe I am okay with other families trusting each other.”

“But you don’t want to be part of that?”

Why does this woman keep making Hannah stunned for a few seconds with her question? Hannah is quiet, thinking about the question while trying to not get angry.

“I have noticed that. Even if we haven’t met more than two times, I am noticing you don’t trust other people. Am I right?”

“Sure…”

“Why is that?”

Hannah shrugs her shoulder, looking a little down.

“It would be easier if you talked with your mouth and not your shoulder, Hannah.”

“I don’t think trust is something useful,” Hannah answers quietly.

“Could you give me an example to why you wouldn’t trust someone?”

“It’s not really something big… But if a person says she will come at a certain time and then don’t show up… ….”

“Who is this person?”

“Everyone.”

“Does everyone you know do that?”

“When I grew up, everyone did that. It wasn’t just now showing up, it was all kind of things. If you say one thing and don’t do it, there is nothing that makes me believe the words you say, right? I find it very basic to figure that out.”

“Did your family do that too?”

“Even my members did that. My members did the small things, forgetting it like they always do, but I am a sensitive person so I get sad over those kinds of things,” Hannah mentions. She doesn’t think trust is that important: If someone tells her something she can just nod and wait to see if that person does it or not.

“Does that mean you only lean on yourself?”

“No… I don’t trust people to do what they say they will do, but I think I lean a lot on others.”

They keep talking and Hannah really wants to know what time it is. They are going to Bangkok today; Hannah is heading straight to the airport when this is over, her members will probably already be there when she arrives as they will leave a little sooner.

Hannah wonders how Emelia is doing; Emelia had gotten a call from her family yesterday, knowing her grandmother wasn’t better and she had stayed in touch with her family the past few days, also getting to say goodbye to her grandmother. The last picture Emelia had sent for her grandmother to see was of Emelia at an event in Japan (Emelia’s single came out yesterday), and there were so many fans there to see her in the picture that her grandmother had said how proud she was to see her granddaughter be so successful with her talent. Her family had called yesterday to say she had passed away, and Emelia had been collected during her schedule that evening, she had even taken the flight back to Korea and reached the apartment, but when she came indoors, Maria had been standing there with open arms as they all knew about it, and Emelia cried for hours. Hannah had come home from her late combat practice almost at midnight, and she had walked to the sofa where Emelia was wrapped up in a blanket and Hannah had started to cry when hugging the crying friend.

All of them cried with Emelia last night.

“We have that kind of relationship,” Hannah mentions as the session has continued, but Hannah keeps going back to Emelia. “If one member is hurt, all of us are hurt. I don’t find it important to trust them, as long as I know they are there. Trust isn’t important; there are so many other factors that are useful and that makes me smile.”

The psychologist doesn’t want to drop Hannah’s issue with trust, while Hannah can’t understand the importance of it.

“If you are on the stage, performing, then; don’t you trust your members that they will do well?”

“Is that trust…?”

“It is not? What do you see it as?”

“Passion.”

“That is actually a good answer. Which makes me remember something that Mr Lee Sooman wanted me to bring up for you,” she says, “This passion you have when working, do you think that is what makes you survive? You went through a deadly accident a while back and even the doctors said it would be rather impossible for you to get back on the stage… Still, you managed to do it.”

It feels a little like an interview, how she is sitting there with a paper and pen. It is her eyes that are different, how she isn’t fishing for a story but instead fishing for the actual truth – Hannah’s opinions and her own truth.

“I guess it was passion,” Hannah answers, though she has no idea at all. “I could say it was fear too.”

“How so?”

“When I woke up after the coma and was told I didn’t have much chance to perform with 5 Pieces again, I got scared I would have to go back to Sweden. I was afraid to loose my friends, my fans, all the things I had gathered – performing, singing – I got really scared of it and I didn’t want it to end. That’s why I did all I could to get back on the stage.”

“Passion and fear then?”

Hannah nods quietly. If she says so. Honestly, Hannah can only think of leaving. She is not focused at all and she finds it pointless to bring up her feelings from something that happened almost three years ago. Hannah do remember how broken her members were at that time though, and she thinks about this ‘trust’ thing. Hannah doesn’t trust, she doesn’t believe or hope they will just be her friends forever or whatever; she stays grateful to have them there at the moment and the future will do what the future does.

It feels she sits there longer than last time. Two hours compared to 50minutes; Hannah doesn’t get how her mind is so lost in time. But she is in a hurry once the time is over and she gets in the car with her manager and heads to the airport, feeling stressed.

“Relax, Hannah, the others haven’t even arrived yet,” her manager sighs.

“They aren’t there yet? Why not?” Hannah clearly isn’t relaxing; she is worrying if Emelia didn’t want to leave, if she is making trouble or if something else has happened. Why aren’t her members texting her in this worrying time?

“Maria couldn’t find the charger to her cell phone; it took fifteen minutes to find it.”

Breathe. It’s nothing, everything is fine, Hannah tells herself, but she still writes a text message to Emelia to ask if they are close to the airport. Restlessly she waits for an answer, and then receives a short answer from Emelia writing ‘20min away, u?’

With a pout Hannah waits in the car for the others to arrive. She has arrived already. While waiting she thinks about today’s session with the psychologist. Hannah has even gotten a card with her contacts info, “call me about anything, anytime”. Hannah wonders if she could get a panic attack at three in the morning and call her… Not that she ever will call, but it is just a thought, anytime. It sounds like Jonghyun. She sighs thinking of him, and with a glance at her cell phone she notices she is already texting him. They haven’t had the chance to meet this week, and Jonghyun keeps sending her hints that he has bought her something for her birthday that was this past Sunday… She did tell him to not get her anything, but since when has he listened to her? Since when has anyone listened to Hannah when it comes to her birthday?

The memory of her birthday on stage makes her roll her eyes. She loves her members and fans and it surely was a fun moment, but the pictures and videos she has seen from that ever since has been haunting her. Fans keep saying that Hannah is too thankful for being an artist, some saying that she really is the cry-baby of 5 Pieces like Emelia always says and others comments that Hannah surely is so naïve to not notice the surprise party being prepared. But how would she possibly be noticing something like that? The dancers are always weird, her own members can’t even be mentioned because at times they keep what they promise while at other times they do the opposite (like throwing a birthday party on stage after promising to not celebrate Hannah’s birthday more than with a cake backstage).

She still loved her birthday this year. It was really fun.

In time to when the van makes its appearance at the airport, Hannah is ready by the entrance, smiling widely and extraordinarily happy when her members are coming her way. Emelia look as pale as she always do, looking extra cool in her too big cardigan and dark khaki green shorts.

“Hi,” Hannah smiles when Carolina reaches her first, wanting to link Hannah’s arm and walk inside together and Hannah lets her do that with a glance towards Emelia. She seems normal. Carolina starts talking right away, excited for this weekends’ concert while almost jumping up and down next to Hannah.

“Passports ready, ladies,” Maria’s voice echoes what their manager just said when they reach the line to get the tickets. By first chance when Carolina lets go off Hannah’s arm, the youngest turns to face the pale rapper.

“Hi.” Hannah doesn’t know what else to say, and she smiles when Emelia looks at her.

“What did the shrink say today?” Emelia wonders. She seems normal…

“She wanted to know about trust and family,” Hannah answers with a shrug on her shoulder, stepping forward in the line they are standing in. When Hannah glances forward, Emelia rests her chin on her shoulder from the side. She seems tired, and Hannah stands still like that, not wanting to make a sudden move or anything.

“You talked about me, didn’t you?”

“Are you a mind-reader?” Hannah giggles in the lowest voice she has, not thinking she is good at lifting up the mood. It feels like she did it with half a heart.

“You know I am,” Emelia answers, mumbling because her chin is resting on Hannah’s shoulder so she can’t open correctly. It’s good to know she still has her sense of humour. Hannah smiles when Emelia lifts her head up to stand straight, and Emelia rolls her eyes with an amused smile. “I’m not a mind-reader, Hannah, don’t be silly.”

Hannah looks surprised at her friend when Emelia walks in front of her, accusing her of believing that joke. “I know you’re not a mind-reader…”

“If you say so,” Emelia smirks, and not until now Hannah realises what she did. Distraction. Hannah thought about the mind-reading thing while Emelia took Hannah’s place in line.

“That’s just mean,” Hannah whines.

“That’s just life, cry-baby.” Emelia laughs, and Hannah is actually happy to see Emelia being in a good mood, so she doesn’t mind being behind her in line.

“Hannah, we played a game in the car on the way here,” Maria informs from behind her, “you and I will share room this time.”

“Oh…”

“Was that disappointment I heard?!” Maria gets a total change in her voice when she thought she heard a disappointed ‘oh’ from Hannah, like a switch she becomes the diva leader. “I can tell you right away, baby, that the two of us-”

“I’m not disappointed,” Hannah laughs loudly as Maria hadn’t heard her the first two times saying that. Hannah laughs when Maria gets quiet, giving the youngest a can-I-believe-that look. “It will be fun to share hotel room with you, Captain.”

“You better…” Maria mutters and is quiet for a minute while the line gets forward. “I brought facial masks with me. It can be needed for this weekend concerts – Yong Hyun said the weather is hotter and hottest in Thailand.”

 

++ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - ++

 

Day two of the concert is wild. 5 Pieces are shouting themselves hoarse out on the stage and their audience is not quiet for a second.

“Bangkok!” Hannah cheers during one of the speeches, taking in all the way from her toes to cheer; “You sing beautifully to all of our songs!”

The ladies have no stopping tonight. Exhausted from the concerts, schedules, mentally and physically with everything going on, they seem to let it all out on the stage. Both concerts in Bangkok are amazing, completely amazing like the previous ones and the girls do notice the difference from last year when they were on a tour. This time, EVERYONE seems to know them, EVERYONE is shouting wildly in the audience and they sing loudly to special songs. 5 Pieces has gotten famous. It is probably the first time they admit it among themselves, noticing that there are non k-pop fans on their concerts now, those that like special songs. But even if the concert is such a successful stop in Bangkok, the favourite part of the trip is at the hotel after the concert.

When the last concert on Saturday comes to an end in Bangkok, everyone head to the hotel to sleep. 5 Pieces have other plans; facial masks. Some of the female dancers and their male stylist Yong Hyun all do it, but since they are in three different bedrooms doing this, it is a lot of running in the corridor. Dressed in pyjamas, they are tiptoeing back and forth, laughing and chatting. Cameras for Life of Pieces have been filming today and they will film tomorrow as well when they head back to Korea for their Inkigayo performance, and the cameras do not miss to film this. Maybe they missed the beginning, but the camera-crew gathers around to not miss 5 Pieces and their dancers having fun after the concert when they in fact should be resting for tomorrow.

Hannah is sitting on a bed, laughing with no end at the girls crowding by the mirror next to the bed. All of them are putting on facial masks, and if you do know girls, you will know that they are pushing their shoulders against one another to try getting a better spot in front of the mirror while still putting on the facial mask. Some are getting red faces, others are getting white, or green, all depending on which sort of mask you put on. Carolina puts on two different ones, getting loud laughter from the other girls with her face parted half in white and green. It is like a field trip, and all of the girls are being girls.

A shoe is keeping the hotel-door up, so when two of the male dancers show up to wonder what is going on (they heard people running in the corridor) and when peeking inside the room they begin to laugh. The difference of girls and boys when laughing is so obvious because just with the sound of the boys, the girls turn around.

“Do you want one too?” the girls begins to lure them in right away, some hurrying up to the boys to drag them inside. “Your nasty skin will get pretty like ours.”

“As if your skin is better than ours,” one of the boys laughs before running away.

Within ten minutes, boys and girls (they are in their twenties age-wise, but their behaviour is not) are running around in the corridor, laughing with the girls trying to hunt the boys down to put on facial masks on them and the boys are just teasing and playing around. The cameras in the corridor captures Julia and Maria the most, the wildest of the pieces along with some dancers. Hannah is heard laughing probably all the time because wherever she shows up, there is something fun to laugh at everywhere. One time when she goes through the corridor to go to the other hotel room, she drops down on her heels from laughing when seeing the youngest of the male dancers (Myung is 23 and well-built) being hit with a pillow so hard that he almost falls against the wall; he is hit for eating up something from someone’s room. Hannah gets inside the room and begins laughing anew when seeing male stylist Yong Hyun getting pedicure.

“Look, Blondie, I am getting pink nails, don’t I look fabulous now?”

“Oh please, can’t we bring Ji Young Oppa in here?” Maria’s head pops up next to Hannah’s, her eyes glowing.

“Oh! I know!” Yong Hyun raises his hand that is not getting pedicure. “We can get matching nails. A real man looks good in pink, convince him with that.” With a wink at Maria, he is done, and Hannah laughs when Maria brings her out.

“You can’t be serious,” Hannah giggles at the leader, passing by a camera. The camera-man had apparently tried to follow Maria to film her as a private VJ, but lost her when a pillow came flying past the camera in the corridor.

“Oh I’m deadly serious,” Maria answers, very seriously (just a hint in her voice says she really wants to do this to the manager). “Do you know what he told me the other day? I told him to watch out… I’m getting revenge.”

She stops to bang on the door.

“Is this even his room?” Hannah wonders,

Maria frowns. The whole wing of this floor is for the tour crew, and the managers always tell them which room they are in but if Hannah can’t remember the room; will Maria?

“Crap. It’s not,” Maria mutters and they keep walking. The camera-man following them do help out with the number, just to not have to see Maria wake everyone trying to sleep up in the search for the manager.

Manager Lee is in sweatpants and t-shirt when he opens the door, and his face-expression shifts the moment he sees the smirk on Maria’s face when he opens the door. Worried, definitely, is what his expression says right before he is being dragged out of his room. “Where are we going?”

“Slumber party,” Maria smiles widely.

“You should be sleeping…” Manager Lee says tiredly.

“But we’re not.”

“Do I really want to go with you?” He is almost whining, knowing it can’t be good to go with them, and there is a camera there. Nothing good can come out of this.

“Probably not,” Maria answers his question and Hannah giggles from behind; she is pushing his back while Maria is dragging holding on to his arm, and Manager Lee is welcomed inside the hotel room. There, Carolina and a female dancer are sitting with the nail polish and Yong Hyun is waving his hand lightly in front of him like a girl to dry his nails.

“Oh no, Mari-”

“Oh yes!” Maria laughs brightly and brings him to the bed. “You will look so pretty, Oppa.”

Manager Lee looks to be panicking on the inside when taking in his surrounding, realising his situation when the girls hold on to both his hands. “I’m pretty sure this is torture. Where did you even get that? I am not-”

“Just shush and be still or your whole hand will get pink,” Maria threatens with a juicy voice, making the others giggle. Hannah sits on the side with the perfect view, getting her cell phone when seeing Yong Hyun taking out his, and they spend the next time filming and taking pictures of the manager being tortured. Yong Hyun suggests a facial mask as well, but their manager hasn’t shaved so he only gets a T over his nose and forehead.

{Instagram, Maria: The manly man has never looked this manly before. Don’t worry, Oppa, we’ll keep this a secret ;)}

Maria uploaded a picture of her smiling widely with her head next to an upset manager showing his pink nails and facial mask T. The highlight of the night.

 

By morning when they are heading to the airport, Manager Lee is so upset.

“Who sent that picture to my mother?” he sounds pissed when asking the girls. Hannah laughs in the back.

“Do you want the truth?” Maria dares him, and Manager Lee turns around to give her a glare. She can not stop smiling; his nails are still pink. “I sent it to Emelia, who sent it to Super Junior’s Eunhyuk-”

“Among many,” Emelia nods, meaning she sent it to a lot of other people too.

“-who I heard sent it to other members in Super Junior, who sent it to EXO’s Chen, who apparently sent the picture to f(x)’s Amber, and Amber sent the picture to Krystal who sent it to members in SNSD, and then I think it could be Jessica who sent the picture to some actress you like (according to Jessica), but Jessica also sent the picture to Donghae – he had already gotten the picture from Eunhyuk – but he sent it to DBSK’s Yunho, who sent it back to me…” Maria is telling while counting on her fingers for each name, and Manager Lee’s face is just darkening. Maria gives a laugh and smiles widely at the manager. “And Yunho was so hilarious that I sent the picture to your sister who showed your mother. It is a great story of connections, isn’t it? Key likes it, by the way, saying you should do that more often.”

Without a word, without a sound, Manager Lee turns back around. EVERYONE has seen that picture by now, and she did upload the picture on Instagram too.

“Oppa, don’t be upset; it could have been a much worse picture. Or maybe the video Hannah took; that one would really not be good if everyone saw,” Carolina tries to cheer him up, but she gets quiet with a weak sound when the manager turns around, his eyes on fire when meeting Hannah’s.

“I got NO video!” Hannah defends herself, not wanting to be shot by her manager, and when he turns away she hits Carolina on the arm. She has a fun video of him getting pedicure, and his face-expression is the best there is in that video.

Arriving at the airport, 5 Pieces is prepared. When they first arrived in Bangkok three days ago, it was crowded and sweaty and loud and it was chaotic. Manager Lee said it was worse than Maria’s room (her messy bedroom). Today, it is just as crowded and sweaty and loud. More police escorts are present, stricter security overall and five celebrities that are the main attention and the crew for Life of Pieces are having difficulties getting any filming done at all.

It is like elephants running when 5 Pieces arrives, a wild noise from fans crowding along the three meter wide path made for 5 Pieces. To walk there, for Hannah with her arm linked with Maria’s, it gives you such a rush. Almost like being on the stage, but here you are worried you might not have the security around you so the fans just squash you like an ant. It’s weird how your brain works at times.

Thailand has been awesome, and after saying goodbye to their Thai fans, 5 Pieces breathes out when taking their seats in the airplane. Hannah breathes out comfortably, thinking that these past two weeks have passed by surreal quickly. It has been two weeks since the first BLACK & WHITE concert in Seoul, and they have pulled off six concerts since – has it really been six? – Hannah is scared of time, suddenly remembering that she still hasn’t met her boyfriend since the day after their Seoul concerts. She sighs and looks at Emelia sitting next to her. Five hours flight back to Korea and Hannah knows what she will do when she looks at her friend. Emelia has the same thoughts; sleep.

All the emotions for them both from everything going on makes them fall asleep the moment they take off. Hannah sleeps hard for the five hours in the air, not having any dreams at all so when she wakes up, she first thinks she has only slept for a few minutes. It feels strange to wake up and realise almost five hours have passed, and Hannah does her best to not fall back asleep with the heavy eyelids fighting against her will.

Yawning and unable to keep her eyes open, Hannah struggles when the plane has landed at Incheon Airport. She feels more exhausted now than she has felt right after the concerts, and she isn’t the only one. Emelia walking next to her keeps yawning too, muttering things when keeping a low conversation with Hannah about the drama Hannah will begin to film tomorrow.

That is unbelievable too; Hannah has spent the summer preparing to film the Korean drama ‘Mr and Miss’, she has gone on script readings, she has practiced combat and learnt how to look cool with a gun, she has practiced a lot for her character and there is no way she feels prepared for tomorrow.

“We are heading straight to Inkigayo, ladies,” Maria yawns behind them, again repeating what their manager said in case someone didn’t listen. The cameras filming for their reality show are still filming the ladies.

“Sulli says she is waiting for us,” Carolina is smiling widely and tiredly in the back. Hannah turns around, holding on to Emelia’s arm to not trip when looking at Carolina.

“Who is performing today?” Hannah wonders. She knows f(x) and EXO are both promoting; she has been a good friend to watch both of their promotions this week with [Growl] and [Rum Pum Pum Pum].

“Ailee and Brown Eyed Girls,” Carolina smiles brightly, even singing lowly to Ailee’s most recent song, but Hannah listens to Emelia saying that Beast seem to be performing today as well.

“There weren’t these many when we promoted,” Hannah pouts and turns back around when Emelia tells her she will fall if she doesn’t turn. What Hannah means is that there are more idols that 5 Pieces know than all these rookies that always seem to be at music programs when 5 Pieces is promoting. And the rookies these days are terrified to even open their mouths in front of 5 Pieces, beside from EXO since they are in the same company.

Manager Lee tells Carolina to please stop singing; mentioning Ailee, Carolina can’t stop singing [U&I] in a low voice that is actually really annoying for the few walking closest to her. Hannah isn’t disturbed as she and Emelia are at the very front, but she does hear that fans from a distance (just a few) have spotted them. It is more normal to not have a the biggest crowd waiting for them in Seoul unless they have been away for long, but there always seem to be fans at the airport any way, maybe not media-much but around twenty or forty of them.

Hannah is just starting a new conversation with Emelia when her cell phone interrupts her, and she is amazed to see Jonghyun being the one to call her. If he had called five minutes earlier she wouldn’t have been able to answer; she her cell phone when the plane had landed. Quietly she answers the call, smiling shyly when hearing his exclusive voice.

“How was the flight?”

“It passed by quickly; all of us fell asleep right away. We just landed actually,” Hannah answers, “How’s Taiwan?”

“How could he possibly call right in this moment? Does he know your schedule precisely or what?” Emelia is muttering, but Hannah ignores her to instead listen to her boyfriend talking to her. Hannah tries to hold back a yawn. How will she pull off a schedule today?

The closer they reach the doors to go outside the closer the group walks, to have their managers around them for protection when fans are as close as five meters. Hannah’s voice gets lower when talking to Jonghyun, and lucky her he talks so much that she just need to give a sound for him to know she is still there. Waiting for the van outside, Hannah glances over Emelia’s shoulder at Manager Lee who keeps looking everywhere to make sure fans keep their distance.

“I have looked at my schedule again,” Jonghyun is saying in her ear, “I got time to meet tomorrow after coming back; we just got some things to do then I am free all night.”

“I got a schedule all day tomorrow, I don’t know for how long,” Hannah mentions and moves forward when Emelia grabs her arm. The van has arrived.

“I got all night, Nabi,” Jonghyun chuckles with a charming voice, and Hannah is melting on the inside.

“Tomorrow after schedule then,” she tells him with a smile, having her head low because of the fans that are starting to call out for them now when it is the last chance to get a picture of them before they disappear in the van.

Hannah won’t ask Manager Lee if she can meet Jonghyun tomorrow after her schedule, instead she will wait until Manager Lim comes to ask him instead. Manager Lim will meet them at the music program; he will bring 5 Pieces’ stage clothes with him as well.

 

5 Pieces reaches the music program, extra tired after being in the car for so long now. They are tired when greeting f(x) in the dressing-room, the two girl-groups will share room and though the two groups are really happy to see each other, 5 Pieces can’t hide their tiredness for their friends and the members of f(x) can’t help but to give Emelia a supportive hug from what has happened recently with her grandmother. They keep talking about everything though. It is a lot of talking and preparations in that room, and slowly the ladies get just a little bit more awake when they put on make-up and begin stretching for the rehearsals.

Since their arrival is late, they will only get one rehearsal before the actual show will begin. But that is no problem at all since 5 Pieces are used to perform [WHO-I AM] by now.

Putting on a pair of purple military pants (with the underwear waistline showing), a white tank top with their concert’s logo and sneakers, 5 Pieces have the absolutely same look. With accessories and hair and make-up they look different. Emelia and Julia are wearing military jackets matching the pants while Carolina is by herself tying a black bandana that she received at yesterday’s concert (she folds it perfectly first to show the purple letters ‘5 Pieces + Puzzle’) around her arm to have it seen all the time and Hannah is wearing a sort of loose cropped top over her tank top. Since they are performing this song to promote their concert, the tank tops and leather bracelets all five ladies are wearing can be bought online. For every performance they have done of this song they have some sort of accessory or clothing on that can be bought. Hannah has her hair straightened out, not done anything more as it looks good just like that.

Being done with how they look, 5 Pieces go to the stage to do the rehearsal, on the way warming up their voices as they hadn’t thought about doing that before when they were busy talking, stretching and getting hair and make-up done. Greeting the staff, 5 Pieces head up on stage, and it is so clear to see that they are tired. But imagine doing six concerts in around two weeks, and in between there they have been doing pre-recordings for four-five music programs (twice) and others things as well. It surely has been a rough schedule lately, but Hannah still looks forward to do more things this up-coming week.

5 Pieces do the rehearsals as good as they can, not caring that it isn’t a real performance. For some reason they always want to do their best on stage, whether it is rehearsal or live; now the only difference is that their face-expressions doesn’t show as they would be during live as they are too cared to think of that when focusing on singing and dancing instead.

After rehearsals, 5 Pieces have no break as they do some interviews (mostly about their recent concerts) and also a few short clips for different shows and whatnot of the girls just saying names and greetings or such things. They haven’t even greeted other artists beside from f(x) because of the interviews, and when all those interviews have come to an end, it is just for 5 Pieces to get a touch on their make-up and prepare for the actual performance as the music show started a long time ago.

“I still can’t keep my eyes open,” Hannah confesses to Emelia and Krystal; she had gotten more tired during the interviews, and Emelia nods in agreement. Emelia’s mood is down from not just being tired, but for her grandmother as well, and everyone is treating her the best way to not let her get all too moody.

“But you get to leave once the performance ends, right?” Krystal wonders, she also yawns a bit.

“Yeah… I would fall asleep if we had to do something more afterwards,” Emelia answers. “I promised mom to give her a call on Skype when we get home.”

“What time is it there by then?” Krystal asks, looking at Emelia with a small curiosity of the time difference.

“In the middle of the day or something,” Emelia answers and Krystal makes a face when nodding. The ladies have just a few minutes to rest before they have to leave, and during their way to the stage they do meet some artists; because it is towards the end of the show, most artists are nearby the stage for the ending. It is just a quick greeting with EXO and Brown Eyed Girls.

5 Pieces make their appearance on the side of the stage with their dancers arriving as well, waiting for their turn. They get ready, making sure they look okay, they have the microphones ready and then, it is their turn. 5 Pieces hurries up on the stage with their dancers, the audience cheering before them while the live music program is showing an introduction video on TV – the video clip is from their music video of the song, a charismatic and cool 5 Pieces that you surely do not want to mess with.

It’s like being on a small concert for some reason. Hannah is still tired and she is sure her eyes are showing it, but the energy she receives from the loud audience is impressive. Just through the first part of the choreography, Hannah realises her moves are better now than during the rehearsals as her tank top doesn’t want to stay at the end of her waist but glides up a bit. She continues to perform, singing and dancing and being the charismatic magnae of 5 Pieces to fit the concept of the song. It is such a cool song, and halfway through the ladies are sweating after already being exhausted from the weekend’s concerts and from the intense choreography and the song overall. The audience surely is great too; they seem like they want to shout louder than 5 Pieces’ music, chanting along the way only fans can do and to hear that is really making the ladies do their best on stage. 5 Pieces doesn’t go wild as they do on the concert, but they are still flawless for the cameras with the stage. Backstage, the other artists are speechless watching the live performance.

Emelia smirks at the end of the song when she does her part.

*Its 5 Pieces (yeah) don’t forget (right) we won’t

Let’s concur together*

And there are special effects go around the edge of the stage, just shooting up at her last word to end off 5 Pieces’ charismatic take-over and the audience is screaming loudly when the ladies head off the stage. Hannah pulls down her tank top when bowing, now embarrassed for that she didn’t pull it down in the beginning and she hurries with her ladies backstage, hearing Maria complain that it did not go well. The audience was such a surprise as the ladies didn’t expect to have those loud fans in the audience, but the ladies were just too tired to enjoy the stage the way they always do. All of them turn to Manager Lim when wanting to know how it looked on screen, but they have to pass by artists waiting backstage for the ending. Everyone is prepared to go up on stage but 5 Pieces are leaving right away, spotting the EXO boys and congratulates them on their comeback and they take a family picture by the wall with f(x) and EXO, a total of 22 people crowding in the picture before 5 Pieces have to leave and the others go up on the stage.

“So how did we do?” Emelia asks their manager when reaching the dressing-room.

“You did well,” he tells them, “honestly; you did well. Maybe a few close-ups didn’t look that perfect but the whole performance was charismatic and powerful and very 5 Pieces.”

Maria seems really disappointed over their performance. the girls changes their clothes and grabs everything to head home, and while longing to sleep in their own beds, to hug their pets and to just relax within the safe walls of their home, the five ladies look through their [WHO-I AM] performance when they get in the van. They are their worst judges, and they all think they could have done better when looking back at it.

“Hannah’s figure won’t let the clothes be still,” Carolina lightens up the mood a bit by teasing another member and Hannah gives a pout. But if anyone of them would notice Hannah’s stomach being visible, it would be Carolina.’

“But it doesn’t reveal much…” Hannah tries, looking at what Carolina has paused the clip on and her eyes get small when grimacing, seeing a group-shot during the performance when the five ladies have one elbow up in the air and Hannah sees her own skin showing. Though it isn’t much, her fans will definitely see it.

“Well beside from us looking hot, my voice could need some rest after that horrible performance,” Maria says clearly from her seat. “And Hannah, baby, you only have to show a tiny little glimpse of skin to make wolves growl.”

“Aooooooow!” Emelia jokes from the front seat, making them laugh tiredly and Carolina sings to EXO’s new song.

Maria gives the mascot a glare.

Coming home, the ladies open the front door to their apartment, calling out together for the pets; “Mommy’s home!”

 

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Headline August 01st: 5 Pieces Shows [WHO-I AM] On M Countdown

Headline 01st: Emelia’s Grandmother Dies From Cancer

Headline 01st: ‘Life of Pieces’ Episode 2 Airs With 5 Pieces’ Filming Their Japanese Drama With EXO

Headline 01st: Julia Makes Her Solo Debut On ‘Life of Pieces’ + Exclusive Footage

 

Headline 02nd: 5 Pieces Is Samsung’s New Faces In Europe & Asia

Headline 02nd: Fans Cheer Emelia On For Continuing Her Schedule After Her Grandmother Passing Away

Headline 02nd: Japanese Mini-Drama ‘Run Out’ Poster With 5 Pieces Revealed

Headline 02nd: Emelia Thanks Fans On 5 Pieces’ Blog

Headline 02nd: BLACK & WHITE Tour Reaches Third Stop In Bangkok

Headline 02nd: Music Bank Airs Special Stage Of 5 Pieces’ [WHO-I AM]

Headline 02nd: 5 Pieces’ Give An Extra Bow On Stage In Bangkok For Emelia’s Late Grandmother

 

Headline 03rd: 5 Pieces Performs [WHO-I AM] On Today’s Music Core

Headline 03rd: Maria Impresses With Her Cooking On ‘We Got Married’

 

Headline 04th: 5 Pieces Sponsors Samsung Around The World In New Commercial

Headline 04th: Samsung Releases Two Individual Versions For Europe & Asia With 5 Pieces’ Commercial

Headline 04th: [WHO-I AM] Reaches Third Place On Inkigayo + 5 Pieces’ Hot Performance

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In the article ‘5 Pieces’ Give An Extra Bow On Stage In Bangkok For Emelia’s Late Grandmother’ – On 5 Pieces’ concert in Bangkok on August 2, Emelia said; “It is a week of mourning for my family… I know we dedicate tonight’s concert to everyone in the audience here tonight, but tonight’s concert we also dedicate to my grandmother, who for months have been fighting strongly against cancer. I know she is here with us and I’m thankful for all the support our fans have given; thank you for this concert and for helping me through a hard time.”

 

X. devonalias

 

2013, July 29 – the grandmother of a childhood friend of mine died in cancer. She fought strongly, being very sick during the last months, and I will always regret not being there to show my love and support to this friend.

2013, September 19 – my very own grandmother died of cancer after the knowledge of having it for just four months. Sitting next to her hospital bed seven hours before she passed away, it was heartbroken to see how sick she looked when she just a few weeks earlier looked healthy and smiling. For the past weeks I have kept thinking of my childhood, about the things I remember about my grandmother, and I have cried numerous of times thinking that this is part of life for everyone.

To anyone who have lost someone close due to cancer, a simple remember that we are now alone in this. Thank you for reading, and assure your close ones that they are loved while you still can <3<3<3