Hello! /cover face in shame/

Finally an update....Sigh...

It's been a roller coaster in the last few chapter so lets take it slow.

Enjoy!

-Hana-

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Sungjong thought he know and understand the man he love truthfully but he now realised that he was wrong, so damn wrong that it hurt his pride. He wanted to get mad, to be mad, to vent out his anger but do he have the right to it? Is he the one that should be angry? Is he the one currently having throbbing heartache waiting for the news of their loved one is no longer fighting between death and life?

No, it wasn’t him. It was Dongwoo and Sungyeol. They have the right to be mad, mad at him for being the lover of the man who involved in this directly or indirectly. He should feel ashame, ashame that he thinks that he’s the only one having trouble in paradise.

Six years ago and now, all of this happend because of him. He don’t know what he did that is so wrong that it lead to such misery and heartache. Did he betrayed someone in his past life? Did he killed someone in the past? Did he just destined not to be happy? When he thought he finally have the happiness that he want, it was once again taken away from him. Why? Is it so wrong to wish to have happiness in his life when it is the only thing that keep him wanted to stay strong and alive despite the killing disease in his body at the moment?

All he ever wish was to be happy with the one he love, is that too much? Is it too much that even Boohyun seems to not understand how he feel? Or did he? He did say he love the younger but did he had to compare his love for him with Doyeon? The woman who caused all of this mess? Is he the same as that woman then? As much as the younger want to feel sorry and bad for Doyeon, he just can’t even though the truth is she is his best friend’s twin sister.

Does being related by blood makes you forgivable for your mistake? Was killing your own sister is the sin that can be forgiven? An innocent soul that didn’t even get the chance to know it’s father and mother was sacrifice. Just because of what? Her obsession for a man? Or vengeance that consume her being till she can’t differenciate which right or wrong?

This is so messed up and tangled to no end. Is there even ending to this drama? This revenge of Doyeon? Will there be anymore innocent people fighting for live? Will this ever stop? Cuz if not, he rather kill himself than living in this bloodshed vengeance. Maybe his disease does have its function, it is so that he can die whenever he want, its simple, you wanna live, you fight but if you don’t want to, then just give up and everything will be gone.

Should he do that? Should Sungjong just give up? He’s tired of blaming himself for what had happend. He’s tired of living trying to move on. He’s tired of losing the person he love. He’s tired of being played. Sungjong is just tired and wish all of this will stop. Can it stop?

“Jongie!”

The younger snap out of his thought and look at the person that call out to him with blurry view because of tears that covering his eyes threatening to fall.

“Are you okay? Hey, what’s wrong? Ssshhh, it’s okay. Everything will be fine.” The younger is now in someone’s embrace, warmth and safe.

“Hyung....” He said weakly almost breaking himself.

“I know, Jongie.. I know and I’m sorry but please don’t give up. I know, baby brother...I don’t have to hear it from you to know. God, I am so sorry you have to go through this.” Sunggyu just tighten his hold on Sungjong and kiss his hair hoping it would offer the younger some comfort. His heart ache that his baby brother have to be in this kind of situation that neither one of them wish to happend.

“H-hyung....” Finally Sungjong let his tear falls on his hyung’s shirt, crying desperately trying to give his heart some break from too much bottled up emotions. He can feel Sunggyu’s warm hand caressing his back gently and that only makes him cry harder which he needed it most right now.

“It’s okay to cry when it’s too much, it doesn’t mean you’re weak, Jongie. It means you’re strong enough to embrace your emotions. Life will always have its way with you but you can’t forever be in line with it just because you want to be in the safe zone. Sometimes you just need to take a different path to figure out which way is the best for you even if it means being hurt, that way you know something is there. If you look back, when you’re still holding on to Myung because you want to spare your feelings from the past, he already on the other side of the road and you know you can’t be on that road because someone else already there with him. Then you decided to choose your own road which is Boohyun.”

“I-i don’t wa-want to l-lose him, h-hyung...”

“Then don’t give up. I might not know him for long but I know his feelings for you is sincere, Jongie. He did what he think is right and he chose it because he believes in you, believe that you will trust him enough to let him fix whatever had happend. By now you must know that Boohyun somehow involved with what happend six years ago and now. We just don’t know what it is that he’s involved with.”

“It hurt when he chose Doyeon over me...”

“He didn’t chose her because he wanted to hurt you but he chose her to protect you. Protect us from whatever that might come our way because of her deeds. You know what, I think Boohyun is the one that has been keeping us protected for six years.”

Sungjong ears perk up at that probably true fact and look up to his hyung.

“Don’t look at me like that, Jongie.”

“If that’s true...”

“He is the only key to our haunted past from six years ago and what has been happend currently.”

“But still, Myung and Hoya hyung is hurt badly...”

“But that wasn’t Boohyun’s fault, Jongie. He didn’t beat up Myung and he didn’t shot Hoya. The only mistake he did was fell into Doyeon’s trap. He saved Min Ki, Jongie.”

“I...I don’t know what to do...”

“What had happend to Hoya was unfortunate as none of us knew that he would be there but I know him, he’s a fighter, I know he won’t give up and leave Dongwoo all alone. Those two can’t live without each other just like none of us can without our other half.”

“I pray that Myung and Hoya hyung open their eyes soon.”

“Everyone does, Jongie.”

“Since when the almighty Kim Sunggyu who never date before can know so much about being in a relationship? Are you sure you’re my hyung? The lazy chubby hamster?” The younger joke and Sunggyu messes his hair in return.

“YAH!”

Sungjong laughs and it eases his heart to finally able to take a moment to just be happy again. Sunggyu at the same time feel grateful towards the younger for able to stay strong and make him laughs in this despair situation.

“How’s Woohyun hyung, hyung?”

Now is Sunggyu’s turn to sigh heavily and smile sadly.

“He’s awake but he’s not the same.” His heart clench in pain thinking about the said man.

“What do you mean he’s not the same?”

“Today has been a long day, Jongie. You need rest, I need rest. I will tell you later. Now, stop blaming yourself and think what is it that you want. I will call the driver to pick you and the rest up.”

“You’re not coming home?”

“For now, I can’t. Woohyun needs me. I can’t let him be alone again.”

“Gyu hyung...”

“Where is Sungyeol and Dongwoo?”

“Outside the ICU.”

“Let’s go to them and then you’re going back home.”

Sungjong notice that his hyung is currently having a hard time but he don’t want to push it and ask him many question as he too almost lost his lover, well ex-lover to be exact. He just nodded and walk together with his hyung feeling much better than before. This is why he love his hyung, he knew what to say and do to comfort him. Not to mention he understand how the younger feels even without the latter tell him what is going on through his head.

“By the way, how do you know where I am? And how do you know what happend today?”

“You think I know you just yesterday? You’re my baby brother, Jongie. You like to be alone when you’re sad and rooftop is the only place you will go. I might not be there when all of these happend but I keep my guard up and have you guys under my watch because I know sooner or later something will happend. No one messes with Kim Sunggyu.”

Well, that sounds reasonable. Sungjong shut his mouth because his hyung’s aura has change from caring loving brother to killer mode. Did someone pick a fight with his hyung? The younger just pray silently whatever it is, no one will be hurt especially Gyu hyung.

“I love you so so much, Yeol.” Myungsoo sneak his arms around his fiance’s slim waist.

Sungyeol giggle and continue making breakfast letting this handsome kitty being clingy.

“I love you too, Myung. Why are you being so greasy all of a sudden?”

“I love you...” Suddenly Sungyeol feel the strong arms around his waist slowly disappear and he start to freak out when Myungsoo didn’t response to his voice and continue disappear slowly from his sight.

“Myungsoo!” Sungyeol jolted up from his sleep and sweating like crazy. He look around and just notice that he’s in a hospital room. The latter quickly turn to look at the person on the bed and sigh when he make sure Myungsoo is still breathing. But what happend? How did he ended up in Myungsoo’s ward and sleeping?

“You’re awake, young master.”

Sungyeol turn around to look at the Kim’s butler, What is he doing here?

“From the look of your reaction, I’m pretty sure you don’t remember what happend hours ago.”

“What time is it now?” Suddenly he notice how dark the room is and only has a bit dim light from the nightstand.

“2 am, sir.”

2 am? The last time I remember was when Myungsoo was in the ICU and that was like five hour ago. I was with Min Ki-

Sungyeol’s head shot up in surprise when he realise his son is not in his arms.

“In case you’re worried about your son, he’s safe at the mansion with his grandmother, Min Jee too.”

“Grandmother?” He think for a second and gasp when he remember what happend.