Soo Young managed to find his way home. The bartender woke him up when the club had to be closed. He made payment and staggered his way out from the club in a drunkard stupor. He walked aimlessly; his eyes were half shut; he tried so hard to keep awake but it was futile. But somehow he made his way back to the studio. Everybody has left and Soo Young was relieved to know that he was alone.

He walked over to the piano and removed the cover. He was losing his mind and tears found him so easily. Without realizing, he shed some tears and his mind was filled with nothing but Taeyeon.

What the hell did he do? Why did he say he doesn’t love her like the way she does when the ing truth was – he loves her. He loves her so much. He was getting frustrated every second when he saw Taeyeon’s disappointed eyes on his mind.

He rolled his fingers over the piano and started singing with tears free-falling since just now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PVKwUJdHuw (listen to this song as you read)

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Unknown to him, someone was at the studio. That someone was hiding at the corner of the recording studio. And that someone was listening carefully to his smooth voice; filling up the background with sadness.

And that particular someone was watching Soo Young drowning in his sadness; eyes filled with tears and the heart was aching so badly.

Just like Soo Young, that particular someone was dying inside as well.

-

Yoong and Yul decided to head home when they received an SMS from Soo Young. He finally replied to them; telling that he was fine and he would be home soon. Knowing Soo Young hates people to witness his weakness, the two guys decided to wait for him at home instead.

“Did you find him?”

Jessica was at the door; she asked almost immediately when the two guys walked into their apartment. Jessica and Tiffany decided to wait at their apartment. J-Hope felt uncomfortable being in the girls’ place.

“Yes, we found him.”

“Where is he?”

“He’s at the studio. He said he’d be home soon. Knowing him, he’s probably unleashing his sadness on his piano again.”

Yul gave Tiffany a soft kiss and Yoong did the same to Jessica. J-Hope was already sleeping. Hyoyeon came home with the two guys and went straight to bed. The two couples decided to hang out for a little bit more; Yoong wanted to wait up for Soo Young.

“Hyung, what happened at the studio? Is this about Hyorin?”

“Hyorin?”

The two girls asked simultaneously.  

“He’s working with his ex-girlfriend, Hyorin. You girls know her?”

“The top Korean singer?”

“Yeah, they used to date before the girl ditched him for a richer man.”

“Oh wow, that’s something.”

Jessica was surprised.

“Well, Hyorin was Soo Young’s first serious girlfriend. He gave all of him to her. He tried to give her the best of everything and she just took it but threw them away when she felt he couldn’t be the one for her.”

The girls were taken aback. They have always thought Soo Young was a player.

“Hyung’s not a player. When he’s serious about someone, he will give his life to the lucky girl.”

“Well, we’ve always thought he was just cool and ignorant about everything. I never knew he buried his pain deep down in his heart. He didn’t really get over it. He was just completely denying his pain for the longest time. So when Hyorin confronted him today, he broke down and lashed it out at her.”

Yul was telling them what happened. They listened and suddenly Jessica felt sorry for him.

“So, he’s having difficulties getting over his heartbreak. That’s why he’s rejecting Taeyeon?”

“Maybe he feels like he couldn’t be in love anymore.”

“We must help him get over! I know he has feelings towards Taeyeon. I saw that pain look in his eyes when Taeyeon walked away from him last night.”

Tiffany agreed with her boyfriend. She was observing Soo Young’s behaviour last night.

“Yul’s right. And Taeyeon needs to know about this.”

“Wait, where’s Taeyeon?”

“She said she wanted to buy supper. She’s not home yet.”

“We have to inform Taeyeon about this. She’s getting the wrong idea.”

“We’ll tell her when she’s home.”

The gang agreed.

-

Well, honestly Taeyeon didn’t just went out to buy supper; she just wanted to look for Soo Young. But she couldn’t tell the girls the truth because she knew Jessica would throw fits if she did. So she told them she was out buying supper but she went out to look for Soo Young instead.

She couldn’t find him anywhere.

“Wait, maybe he went back to his studio!”

Taeyeon made a u-turn and head towards Soo Young’s studio. But the studio was empty however it was unlocked. Someone must have forgotten to lock the door. Taeyeon went in without hesitation; she walked around the studio. Suddenly she heard noises and went behind the door to hide.

Taeyeon’s small and petite so she fitted perfectly behind the door. The person couldn’t see her but Taeyeon had the perfect view. That person in question was the same person who gave her the worst heartbreak of her lifetime – Choi Soo Young.

Taeyeon was stunned to see Soo Young in tears. His eyes were completely red and swollen. How long has he been crying? Taeyeon wondered. Soo Young couldn’t see her at all as he went over to his piano. Taeyeon watched as Soo Young’s fingers carefully and gently pressed on the keys – a beautiful sound came on.

Taeyeon has never seen this side of Soo Young. He’s like a prince charming; he’s like every lady’s dream – a prince charming playing piano. It was just so romantic. Well, she was more taken aback when he started singing.

His voice was alluring and melodious; and together with the piano; Taeyeon’s heart fell further. Soo Young may not be a perfect man but she likes him like this. He has his romantic side; he has his sentimental moment. All this while, this man was showing more of his playful and dorky side – but not tonight.

Taeyeon stumbled upon Choi Soo Young, a romantic and a sentimentalist. But his tears were bothering her.

Why is he so upset? Why is he crying so much? Who made him cry? Who broke him apart like this?

These questions kept gushing through Taeyeon’s mind. She was so tempted to run out from hiding and give him a tight hug but she refrained herself.

She didn’t want to look like a fool no more – especially not in front of Choi Soo Young.

-

Soo Young fell asleep after his tears had dried up. He lay on the sofa and closed his eyes almost immediately. He was still unaware of Taeyeon’s presence in the studio. He was too tired now. He has lost his energy because he was fighting with his own feelings.

Soon, he was fast asleep. Taeyeon was still watching him from where she stood. When she felt that it was okay to come out, Taeyeon went over to him. She gingerly knelt down in front of him; watching him breathing softly as he fell into a deep slumber. She contemplated to caress his face but she did anyway.

She gently caressed his cheeks as she moved her hands upwards. She swept away the falling fringe of his hair that was covering his eyes. Taeyeon knew she was falling. Taeyeon knew that was no turning back for her anymore.

“Choi Soo Young, I’m so in love with you. And I don’t know what else to do. Why couldn’t you love me like I do? And I don’t know who made you cry but it hurt so badly to watch you in tears. Why are you crumbling down like broken pieces? Are you hurting, Soo Young?”

Taeyeon whispered softly; it was almost inaudible because she has never had the intention to let Soo Young know her heart once again.

She was torn before and she was afraid that Soo Young would rip her heart apart more.

“I love you, Choi Soo Young. I hope you find someone who can love you and take good care of you. I’m sorry I cannot be here with you anymore.”

Taeyeon kissed his forehead softly. And Soo Young was still in his deep slumber; unaware of Taeyeon’s confession at all.

-

“Taeyeon ah, we need to talk.”

“I’m tired. I’ve bought you some food.”

“Taeyeon ah, it’s about Soo Young. You need to know something.”

“I’m leaving tomorrow morning. Let’s not talk about him anymore.”

“Taeyeon, it’s important! You need to hear us out!”

Jessica and Tiffany were persuading Taeyeon but the lady was determined not to waver anymore. She just shook her head and apologized.

“I have an early morning flight. You don’t have to send me. Sunmi’s picking me up.”

“Taeyeon ah!”

Taeyeon just slammed the door behind her. Since she has decided to move on; get over Soo Young like how she was determined to; she won’t be looking back anymore. The girls couldn’t talk to her as Taeyeon just shut herself up.

She’s leaving and she’s going to leave everything behind her.

She was going to leave with an empty heart.

-

“Yo, Soo Young!”

Soo Young felt someone was shaking him. He slowly opened his eyes to find Hara and Taeyang staring at him. He sat up immediately and looked around in confusion.

“Where am I?”

“You’re at the studio. You didn’t go home?”

Soo Young finally remembered. He shook his head as he rubbed his face with his hands. He looked like and Hara felt sorry for him.

“Soo Young ah, why don’t you go home and have a proper rest? Taeyang will take over.”

“Yes, Hara’s right. You look horrible, dude.”

Soo Young didnt reply but just merely nodded his head. He buried his face in his hands before straighten up his thoughts.

“I’ll go home and wash up for a bit. I’ll come in the afternoon.”

“Dude, if you need rest, just rest. After yesterday, I believe Hyorin’s not coming back anymore.”

“Has she finished recording all the songs?”

“Yes, she did everything yesterday.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to you later. I’m having the worst headache now.”

Soo Young left his studio and headed back home. He hasn’t checked his phone all this time. He managed to hail a cab and got in immediately. He rested his back against the seat and closed his eyes. He put his hand into his back pocket and discovered his phone. He pulled it out and frowned when he saw a couple of miss calls from Yoong and Yul.

“What’s wrong with these idiots?”

Nevertheless, he called Yul immediately.

“What the hell, why are you just returning calls now?”

“What’s wrong? I just woke up.”

“I tried calling you a couple of times.”

“Yes, it’s a little bit crazy that I have 30 over missed calls from you and Yoong.”

“Crazy? You’re the crazy one. YA, Taeyeon left for UK today. Do you know that?”

Soo Young’s eyes grew larger. He couldn’t speak.

“Her plane just flew off. What the hell are you doing?”

His mind went blank. He immediately hung up the phone and just rendered to the shock. Taeyeon has left.

And he was just a little too late.

-

Soo Young went home anyway. He walked past the girls’ apartment and could only see Jessica’s heels. Taeyeon’s sneakers were gone. Why wouldn’t they be gone? They must have followed their owner to UK. Soo Young’s tears filled his eyes once again and he only had himself to blame.

He went straight for his room and shut the door. Thank god, Hyoyeon wasn’t around. He might get beaten up by this guy one day. He hasn’t seen him for the longest time because Soo Young was avoiding him on purpose.

He lunged over his bed; putting the pillow over his face. He wanted to cry but he just couldn’t anymore. Those tears were all dried up.  He took out his phone; contemplating if he should send a message. But before he could do that, he saw Taeyeon’s name in his email inbox. He quickly read her message.

Hi Soo Young, I guess by the time you read this, I’ll probably be on the plane to UK. I’m sorry I’m leaving you like this. I wasn’t strong enough to tell you goodbye. Maybe because I cannot stand having my heart broken again or I just couldn’t face you anymore.

Honestly, I’m not sure why I’m sending you this email. But I know I have to leave you a goodbye message somehow. It’s okay that you don’t love me the way I do. And I’m really glad that you’re really honest about your feelings instead of beating around the bush.

But I wished I could turn back the hands of time so that I wouldn’t fall in love with you. I’m not regretting but I wish I could be brave enough to tell you I love you. You’re the first guy who caught my heart and my heart refuses to let you go.

I guess I’m going to take my time to get over you. Having this conference trip to UK somehow comes in handy. At least we can have some time away and we can clear our minds properly.

Because I never wanted to lose you. I never wanted to let you go but yet I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable because of my love. It must have been a huge burden on you that made you burst the other night.

It hit me hard. But I know you’re just looking out for me. Thank you for thinking of me even though it hurts so badly for me.

I never had this courage to say to you so I’m just going to say it in here.

I love you, Choi Soo Young. I hope you’ll find someone who can love you and you love her back. I hope by the time I return, we can still be in the same room as friends. Do you still want to be my friend, Soo Young?

That’s all I have to say now. I hope you won’t get upset or mad at me for leaving you like this. Yoong and Yul are concerned about you. I’m sure you’ll be fine with them around.

Until we meet again, Choi Soo Young; take good care and miss you.

Kim Taeyeon

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