"Clueless"

 

 

The sound of toilet being flushed was kind of my morning greeting lately. I’ve just survived another crazy morning sickness session in my bathroom. I spent the last fifty minutes vomiting everything I’ve eaten the previous night and I now believed, there’s nothing left inside my stomach. This morning had been the worst so far; I woke up in fatigue and then the urge to vomit came in a flash. I ran to the bathroom and just vomited nonstop. Seriously, it was more tiring than any of my killer runway practice schedules.

I was just lying down on my bed with my eyes closed and with heavy breath when I heard my phone rang at the desk next to my bed. I planned not to take it since my body totally felt so weak but it didn’t stop ringing that it got on my nerves. Lazily I moved from the middle of my king sized bed to the side, taking my phone. Still closing my eyes, I accepted the call.

“Honey, how are you?”

After hearing the familiar voice, I immediately opened my eyes and cleared my throat before answering it. “Mom!”

I heard my mom laughed at my response. Suddenly, I felt like I missed her. A lot.

“What is it? Did you miss me that much you have to scream out?” she teased me, letting out another hearty laugh. “Did I wake you?”

I shook my head, although my mom couldn’t see me. I moved my body, leaning on the right side of my body, sleeping in fetal position.

“I was already up,” I replied shortly. “What are you doing? What time is it there?” I asked her since my parents are currently in Austria.

“We’ve just arrived back in the hotel. Your dad took me around and we watched an opera. It’s almost midnight here. How are you, my dear?”

I softened at the way my mom talked to me. She was always like that, being a nice mother she is. No matter how busy I am doing my job, she would be there supporting me and pampering me with all the attention. She’s the one who sent me food or lunch to my working place. Sometimes during the weekend, we spent time together to do some girls stuff: shopping at the mall or doing some spa treatment. I totally missed her that the fact that I’m pregnant caused me to start crying. I sniffled and that was enough to catch my mom’s attention.

“Jinah? What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” she sounded worried. I shook my head and took the napkin, trying to hide my sobs. “Honey, what happened?”

“I miss you,” I managed to say to her. Somehow I could imagine how my mom smiled over my words.

“I miss you too, Jinah. I wish you were here. It’s a nice place to visit, Darling. We definitely need to go to Vienna again,” my mom added sighing at the end of her sentence. If she was here, she would just hug me while my hair, just like she always do when I have fever or feeling too sick to get up from the bed. Tears appeared; I quickly wiped it to avoid the change in my voice.

“Yes, Mom. We’re going to visit Vienna again, soon,” I replied, smiling to myself. “Where’s dad, Mom?”

She blew an air, as I could imagine she would roll her eyes. “Asking about your father again... How on Earth you missed him more while I’m the one who called you?”

“Is someone asking for me?” I heard another familiar voice and I knew it was my father. He’s a stiff and kind of awkward person outside, but never once he showed it in front of us, his family. He was always a warm and attentive father for me, so whenever his student at the university complain on how strict he was on his lecture, for me that’s nonsense. He’s still a place to come home. I love him so much, just like I love my mom.

“Hi Dad,” I called his name over the phone. I missed him too. His moustache, his hair, his soft touch whenever he my cheek or my hair, I missed the old man. And here we came to the dialogue about our daily life.

My father is a professor in a university and he’s kind of being respected for he’s one of the senior lecturers there, while my mom is a florist with her own store. I’m their only daughter, so the three of us are somehow really close to each other. During the phone call, my parents never stopped telling how much they missed me since they left for Europe two weeks ago. My father had to attend an annual meeting for the field of his study, building construction, in Berlin. But then he decided to have a little honeymoon trip along with my mom. He was indeed a sweet father and husband.

As I talked with them I couldn’t stop letting out a smile to myself. The way we spoke to each other was somehow warm I couldn’t hold the tears anymore. I missed them, truly.

“Don’t cry, Honey,” my mom called me softly, while my dad told me some words of encouragement. He thought that I cried because I’m tired with my work. He knew sometimes I felt so tired doing this type of career that I pursued, he was basically the person I went to for whenever I felt down or stressed out due to my crazy working time.

But really, I miss them. I softly my stomach as I talked with them and I wondered if the two of them heard the news I have for them and whether they’re going to accept my decision over the life inside me.

“I miss you, Mom, Dad,” I said softly.

“We miss you too. Let’s see each other this weekend, ok? We’re landing by Friday,” my mom told me with her sweet voice.

This weekend. Would I be ready to face my parents by the end of this week to reveal everything?

“Yes, Mom. Sure. I’m going to pick you up.”

Once the phone call ended, I laid again on the bed and looked emptily at the ceiling. Again, I automatically rubbed my stomach as I let out a sigh. When I saw the babies in the hospital and when I sometimes felt so energized every time I accidentally touched my stomach, I felt like I’m ready to have this baby. But then again, at a time like this, when I don’t really have anyone to hold on to, I felt like giving up this little thing inside me but then again every time I thought about giving it up…

“Ouch!”  I moaned a little as I felt like there’s something scratching me inside. There it goes again. It happened all the time when I thought that I want to let this baby go. But somehow, that’s the thing that kept me insane. I felt it, I felt the baby. So I my stomach again and gradually it became better. Maybe it was just my hallucination or maybe it was just me trying to relate these things to be some signs from the baby or something, but really, I felt the connection already. The awareness of its presence once again made me go back to the reality.

“I’m not gonna let you go.”

 

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I was frustrated.

It had been a week already ever since I met her in the hospital and there was no news from her. I was starting to think that she took seriously her words when she said that our meeting previously was the last time I would hear from her. I thought that it was not possible, because at some points she should have been calling me. Well, I was not really sure why she should call me but I had this feeling that she might not do well on me. Like, what if she suddenly sues me for making her pregnant?

But that should not be possible because she and I knew well that we did it voluntarily. The morning when I woke up next to her, she’s under the cover and as soon as I opened my eyes that morning, all I saw was her back filled with the marks I gave her. I didn’t remember when I kissed her there, but I remembered I left no spot on her body unmarked. She tasted delicious and for my first time doing it, she gave me a very pleasurable experience. Ok, I went too far. Where are we again?

Ok, the last time I saw her was in that bed and she’s cursing. Seriously. She’s like covering her lower part while sitting at the edge of the bed, giving me her back. She should know that her body is totally a dangerous asset. If I was crazy enough to do it without the alcohol, I think I might jump on her and do her again. But both of us were sober already and all she did was curse, regretting things that happened between us. The stain of blood on the sheet was proof of her lost innocence.

Hearing about her pregnancy should not be shocking news to me, since we knew it exactly. I’m screwed. The night before when I was so drown into her, I just happened to bury myself in her and due to the passionate session, I released inside. Without any protection.

I recalled my friend usually gave their girlfriend or the girls they slept with a morning pill. It’s proven to avoid pregnancy if taken 48 hours after the activity. So after calming her – she couldn’t stop saying things in such a rapid speed regarding what with we did, she was so fussy compared to her pretty moans and pleads the night before – I immediately went inside the bathroom to take a bath and planned to buy the pill, just for our sake. Both of us knew no each other, I just happened to know her name that slipped during our steamy love making session. Well, we’re not in love but I didn’t think I her bad. It’s more like a slow, pleasurable, oh okay…I wandered around again. Yeah, we didn’t know each other and yet, the idea of making love changing into making a baby was out from our option. Or at least, my option.

I was ready to go out to the pharmacist when I walked out from the bathroom, but what I found was only an empty bed. She was nowhere to be seen and when I looked outside, I couldn’t track her and that was the last time I saw her, before I met her accidentally in my hotel. When I thought about it again, I did think about getting her pregnant, since we did it without any protection. But then weeks passed without hearing anything from her and I started to believe that nothing really happened to her.

Not until I met her again.

The situation was still confusing though. Every day I slept late, thinking about the pregnancy news. I waited for her call, just in case she changed her mind or if something happened to her and she might need my help; anything, I just need to hear from her. And what made me more annoyed was the fact that I actually was too slow to realize who she was. Jongin helped me to get a little information about her. Well, it’s not little though; he’s not a man without resource and when he did his espionage game he always comes with good materials to show.

“Name is Im Jinah, goes with the nickname of Jinah or Nana. She’s South Korea’s supermodel, famous for her years of experience in national and international runway.” Jongin paused to show me several pictures of her in the runway. She’s indeed unique and has the potential to be a supermodel. No wonder she has that delicious pair of long legs.

“She had rarely walk on the runway again, since she started to actively participate as designer’s favorite spokesperson. Every item promoted under her name would hit the market in such a short time, causing the brand to have 200% income upon doing promotion with her.  High end brands tried their best to make her accept their offers in making her their brand’s main model. She’s no joke, hyung,” Jongin said, flashing his smile.

I have no idea why he did that though. It’s like either he wanted to show off his perfect smile that always successfully made every girl swoon over him or he was trying to promote this girl to me, which he should not do.

“She mostly did those ads in the country and actually, I’m very surprised that you have no idea who she is,” Jongin teased me.

“I was never really interested in any trivial things like that,” I responded.

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, and one of her ads is actually displayed in your hotel lobby, Hyung.”

I hate Jongin, he always caught me. It’s true that I never heard her name, that’s why I didn’t bother to look for it or to check on what’s being displayed in our lobby wall. It still annoyed me though, the fact that I actually saw her every day, every time I stepped on the lobby without me realizing. Ugh. I dislike it.

“Anyway, unlike those attention seeker celebrities, Im Jinah rarely appeared on the news, except for her latest modelling ones, airport fashion or the latest designer bags she owns. And this is exactly why those brands invested on her. Her image is clean.”

“No rumors?” I raised one of my eyebrows out of curiosity over her. There’s no celebrity with a clean background though, she at least should have one.

Jongin shook his head. “Nothing worth knowing except for her dating stories, but that’s all in the past, during the time after her debut or pre-debut. There’s nothing much to reveal though and the media never mentioned about it again, so there’s no rumor.”

I looked at her picture, posing dramatically in a long red dress with antagonistic makeup and perfect hair do. She does really looked powerful and ready to rule any man in the world.  Am I included? Tch. I chuckled as I shook my head.

“Why? Is there anything wrong?” Jongin asked me.

“Nothing,” I muttered.

Jongin walked closer to me as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Hyung, did you already figure out what are you going to do with her?”

I clearly knew what he meant, and I knew that I have no answer to that question.

“I haven’t heard anything from her and as you may recall she wanted the baby all by herself.”

“So you’re going to just let her go?” Jongin questioned me with a hard look.

“Unless she comes to me and asks me to help her.”

Jongin gave me a questioning look.

“That’s what she wants,” I responded to his stare.

“You participated in the baby making, hyung. At least you should show willingness to take care of the baby.”

“I’ve offered to do it.” I shrugged my shoulder lightly.

“You asked her if the baby was yours and you offered her to give you your money. Any woman would be insulted by that. And she’s just not any woman, hyung. Half of the guys in Korea begged to ask her out and she ignored it just like that, just because she’s capable of doing it.”

“It’s not like I want her.” I furrowed my brows upon Jongin’s words.

“She’s carrying your child, Hyung.”

Jongin is four years younger than me, more careless than me, more flirtatious compared to me, and was more involved with lots of women. But this time, his words caught my attention. I somehow sounded like a kid, compared to him. I still have no idea though. I was going to be a father to a child carried by woman I never really knew and was caused by a lustful alcoholic night. No marriage, no bond, no love.

It’s just me, her, and the baby. How am I going to face this?

The thought about talking with her faded away as I left Jongin to join my weekly update in the hotel. The meeting was pretty rough since we have to plan for the new hotel in Jeju Island which resulted in arguments between the general secretary and our business planners. There had been few plans we developed but there were some obstacles we have to finish before we can continue to start building the new hotel. And after hours of meeting, finally I could be free from the matter.

I took a deep breath before going out with my personal assistant and the rest of the team. Most of them are older than me, but for the business planner, I put younger people in order to get more creative ideas regarding the business or innovation our hotel should do to reach higher level for our guests’ satisfaction. It was nice to be able to work with people of different age, I could understand more about some problems with several point of views which in turn, helped me to grab the essence of it and tried to apply it in the best way we could. I’ve spent too many times facing problems that sometimes drove me crazy, but I guess that’s the fun part of my job.

“They’re here again?” one of my business planner team said excitedly as they looked to the lobby that can be seen from the second floor, where we had our meeting.

“Yeah, it seems so. It’d be good if they can come every day,” his friends responded as he chuckled. I looked to the lobby to find a group of people with luggage and bags around them; seemed like they’re staying here for group accommodation. I noticed that they’re filling the lobby, making the huge lobby decorated with chatters and laughs.

“Who are they?” I asked Chen, my personal assistant, who stood next to me.

“The models for our anniversary event, Sir. They’re going to perform on a runway, showing the collection of Lady Wu’s favorite designers,” he answered as he made a motion to take the escalator to go downstairs.

The models. So if what I thought is true then I should be seeing…

“Jinah! I’ve got news for you!”

A woman’s voice was heard and I immediately looked to the person that possibly named Jinah. The woman walked towards the sofa placed in the lobby and seemed like she was talking to the person who was sitting there. Would she probably be there? I kept looking at the sofa but since there’s another person, I couldn’t see clearly if she’s really there or not.

Giggles were heard and they seemed to be laughing all along. I didn’t understand women, no matter how old they are, they would always laugh and giggle whenever they talk. I decided to just ignore her, probably it’s another Jinah or maybe I heard wrong because apparently, everyone suddenly named Jinah around me. I really should clear my head from her.

I was about to go check on the reception desk when I passed the main lobby and there she was, sitting calmly on the sofa with an open magazine in her lap, she was leaning to the back of the sofa as she talked to the person next to her. She was wearing a blue flowery dress that stopped at her thigh covered with a white cardigan. Her honey colored hair was put into a small bun and somehow, I couldn’t stop looking at her. She didn’t notice my presence; she tended to look at the other side of the lobby.

I think both of us are still fated to see each other.

 

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“Jinah! I got news for you!” Hana excitedly came to me with a happy giggle. She’s one of my closest friends in the agency and knowing her, the news would be

related to either the latest collection of Hermes or her favorite boyfriend, Kim Jaejoong.

“I’m going to New York next week,” she said with a happy face. “Jaejoong oppa is going to take me there.” Her smile reached to her cheek bone.

“Wow, that’s good then. You two are going to have holiday?”

She nodded. “But the best part is, we’re going there with his private plane.”

I chuckled, of course, it’s Kim Jaejoong we’re talking about, the richest bachelor ever in the city. “Happy for you, Hana,” I said genuinely. Hana is such a girl that’s loved by a lot of man, but she never really got a proper boyfriend. It’s either they’re playboys or they just want to take advantage of her money; she would always be disappointed with her exes. But Kim Jaejoong is different and I knew that Hana is on the right hand. Although at first I was kind of not liking him since he looked like a womanizer, but dating Hana for a year with only a little small of arguing session, I think he suited Hana the best.

Hana shook her head as she clasped her hands. “The best best best part of it is…you’re going along with me! Oh, and bring Minkyung also! It’s good, right?”

I was speechless. Travelling with my current condition is totally not okay. I still have my morning sickness (which will continue until the 16th or 17^th week of my pregnancy, and I’m still on my 6th) and I don’t think I can travel in this state.

“Jinah,” Hana called me. “You’re in, right?”

“I’ll check my schedule first and I’ll let you know,” I replied, hoping she would just get over it.

“I’ve already done that. Your schedule is clear, checked it already with your manager,” she winked happily. “So, see you next weekend? Jaejoong oppa will send his driver to pick you up and details of it will be given later on. I’ll call you, okay?”

Hana beamed in happiness and of course, I couldn’t just say no. So I just nodded weakly, hoppng that I suddenly get a schedule while she left me for another talk with her manager. It seemed like she invited several persons to participate on her little holiday in New York. Aren’t I have to shoot some ads or teaser for the latest episode of the TV show I’ve been participating in? I sighed, thinking of the best way to get away from her invitation. I love her of course, but with all this nonstop vomiting, travelling is far from my option.

I was enjoying my tea when I suddenly felt nauseated. I secretly rubbed my stomach. Oh little baby, please not this time, please. I’ve just had a nice lunch and now I’m feeling so full, yet this little thing inside me seemed to be not satisfied. I’ve ran out my antiemetic pill this morning, so I haven’t taken one. Since I had a good mood earlier, I thought that I could pass the day easily. But maybe the baby decided that I should at least visit the toilet.

I looked away; the others were still talking as they waited for their cars or managers. We’re just finishing our last rehearsal before the event on this upcoming Saturday night. And as I waited for my driver to pick me up, I thought that it’d be better for me to sneak to the toilet without being noticed. Taking my handbag and pretending to receive a call, I walked to the nearest restroom.

I was about to open the door when I heard someone calling my name. My full name.

“Im Jinah.”

“Yes? OH MY GOD!” I gasped as I found Kris Wu standing next to me. I looked at him with a very surprise look.

“Did I shock you?” he looked clueless.

“Didn’t you see my expression?!” I snapped back.

Really, knowing that I’m pregnant, I have to watch my emotional and psychological condition. But this guy in front of me, I didn’t know why, always made me feel so

full with emotions. He annoyed me and after our long endless debate in the hospital before, I didn’t think I want to see him again.

“What are you doing here?” I asked him, trying to make a space.

“I want to talk to you,” he said. “Are you ok?” his eyes following where I moved. Suddenly I wanted to go back to the lobby, away from this guy.

“As you can see, I’m ok.” I replied tersely, hoping that he would just vanish into thin air. If there would be anything that could make me feel not good, it would be him. I started to walk again to the restroom. He cleared his throat, acting like he wanted to say something. For a tall and expressionless man like him, he totally looked clueless and seemed to not know what to do.

“You looked tired,” he said again.

“You know what,” I wanted to talk to him but then I covered my mouth immediately; I almost vomited in front of him. I closed my eyes, trying to talk with the baby to stop making me feel ill. Kris Wu seemed to acknowledge what was happening to me; he awkwardly moved closer and looked at me with a confused stare.

“Ar-are you o-okay?” he asked while trying to look at my face which I still covered with my hands. I shook my head and asked him to move, but then we heard voices from the aisle that connected to the restroom. I was afraid that it was one of my friends; they can’t see me in this condition. Before I could think of anything, Kris Wu grabbed my hands and dragged me out, heading to the emergency stairs located at the back of the restroom.

I didn’t know where he was going to take me, After climbing upstairs, we went out from the emergency door and slipped in to the elevator that was hidden from the main hallway. One level above the lobby is the meeting rooms, located at the whole big landscape of the floor. Since the plants that are being put in every corner of the room are pretty big, I could walk easily without being seen by the waitress who was

walking around the area. It would be a big blow if I was seen with the General Manager of this hotel.

Just like reading my mind, he suddenly put his suit around my head and just by that, I was left blind. I didn’t know where he took me but I just happened to know that we’re inside the elevator. It was empty and I slowly took off his suit and realized that we’re around the 50th floor.

“Where are we?”

“Inside elevator” he replied, watching the level indicator turn 60.

I have no energy to argue with him, so I changed the question with a slightly softer tone. “Where are you taking me?”

“My suite.”

“Wh-“ I haven’t had a chance to question him, once again I was dragged out from the elevator, making quick steps to one of the wooden door at the level. There was no one in this level and just by that, we went inside the suite.

I should admit that the suite was kind of big and luxurious with a sophisticated design and good lighting, something my eyes would love to see. But then I remembered what I was previously doing; I covered my mouth again and he just somehow understood what I needed. He showed me the way to the toilet and without thinking too much, I walked inside and headed straight to the basin and I vomited like a waterfall.

I sat helplessly and kept throwing out the food I ate earlier until it came to the point when I basically just ejected whatever I had inside my stomach. My body shook pretty hard, I couldn’t even grab a hold of the side of the basin, and I was too tired to do that. I weakly flushed and slowly pushed my body to lean to the bathtub across me. Caressing my stomach, I took a heavy breath. I should really take my medication immediately; it’s killing me.

And I’ve just realized Kris Wu’s presence at the door of the toilet. He looked surprised and glanced at me in horror. He must have really been frightened seeing me vomit crazily like that. I even got scared with myself; I never knew I could vomit like that. But scratch that, the most important thing is to feel okay after I happily threw out everything.

When his soul came back to his body, he walked towards me and squatted in front of me. He still looked confused though and didn’t know what to do, which I thought was normal since I have no idea on what to do also.

“You okay?” he asked, a bit like a whisper since he seemed to lose his voice.

“I’m fine,” I replied, closing my eyes to regain my strength. I still have to go back to the lobby and went for another schedule after this one. I opened my eyes and I saw him watching me with a clueless face.

“What can I do to help you?” he muttered.

I chuckled at his words. “Just stay there and let me close my eyes for a while,” I replied, heavily breathing and sighing.

“Let’s move to the bed,” he said, slowly taking my hand, supporting me by my shoulder.

I was too weak to refuse him, so I let my body cling to his arms and once I reached the bed, I couldn’t explain how beautiful it felt to lay on such a smooth surface. I curled my legs, folding it near my chest while both of my hands clasped together. It felt good; it felt really nice to just stay like this. I loved the scent of the bed sheet; somehow it made me feel calm and relaxed. Once again, I closed my eyes, breathing slowly.

“Do you want to drink something?” he offered. His expression still stiff, but I could tell he felt a little relieved when I stopped vomiting.

“Water, please,” I said softly.

He took a glass of water and gave it to me, helping me sit down on the bed. He was being a little attentive, and that somehow worried me.

“Does it happens every day?” he asked out of curiosity.

“Every morning, yes. But this one happened probably because I ran out of my anti-nausea pill.” I answered, feeling much better after lying down and drinking the fresh water.

I could see him clearly now; he wore a white shirt with tie, his suit that’s used to cover my head was lying on the sofa, being left carelessly there. His hair was pulled to the back, revealing his clean forehead. He got a serious face expression when I exchanged look with him. For the first time since I knew that I was pregnant with his baby, I felt defenceless over him, like I’m letting him a little closer to me. I didn’t understand why both of us kept bumping to each other.

“Why didn’t you call me?” he asked with a little offensive stare. He crossed his arms and gave me judging eyes.

“Why would I?”

“I’ve told you, right? You can call me if you need anything, but you didn’t contact me.”

I shrugged weakly. “I don’t need anything.”

He sighed and started to walk back and forth around the room. “You don’t need anything? Then what’s that earlier? What if you felt ill suddenly and there’s no one to help you?”

“That’s just because I didn’t have my pills with me, okay? I’ll have it this evening and everything will be fine,” I replied calmly. I didn’t have enough strength to argue with him.

“What if you suddenly fainted in the middle of the road? And why…why are you still wearing heels?” he appointed at my shoes next to the bed. I furrowed upon his question.

“Mr. Wu, what’s wrong with you?”

He got confused with my words.

“What? Is there something wrong?” he responded.

“You’re being overly worried for someone who doubted that the baby inside me is his.” I said, closing my eyes again. My stomach became a little tight again, like it was being twisted.

It still hurt me. He didn’t believe that the baby was his. Did he really think that I’m some kind of who sleeps with just anyone? He’s the guy to whom I gave my first and yet, he thought that I probably did it with someone else. Didn’t he know I suffered a lot when I awakened after that night? Did he even care when I was sore with his marks left all over my body and I could barely walk that morning? And now when he knew that I’m pregnant, he questioned me whether it’s his. I automatically rubbed my stomach, feeling bad that this baby has a jerk of a father.

“Look, I’m sorry about that. Really, I didn’t mean it,” he said with an apologetic look. “I knew it’s mine,” he muttered softly; I could still hear it.

We stopped talking. He finally sat on the sofa across the bed, while I rubbed my stomach and looked at the ceiling. The silence was enjoyable, I felt a little calmer and really, I enjoyed the scent lingering around me. However, the situation didn’t stay long. My phone rang; Minkyung is already at the lobby and waiting for me to go to my next schedule.

When I ended the call, I noticed that he moved from his seat and wanted to help me to stand up. He looked a little awkward though, standing tall next to my bed but did nothing. I let him helped me to stand up, I felt strong enough to go for my next schedule. I took my hand bag and did some makeup retouch. I couldn’t go out with a pale face, not when I have a photo shooting scheduled after this.

“Can’t you just stay at home? You need to rest,” he said from the alley next to the rest room when I did my makeup in the toilet.

“No worries. It happened rarely. I’m going to eat after this and everything would be fine.” I replied as I checked my appearance one more time. It looked much better; I got my face colored now.

When I walked out from the bathroom, he stood there like he’s been waiting for me. He looked at me with an unreadable expression.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

I sighed as I held on my handbag.

“Mr. Wu, I already said to you. Our conversation already ended and there’s nothing to be talked about anymore between us and I really hope you could respect it,” I said as I looked at him.

He’s handsome, really. I have been telling this, right? He’s handsome. He got a slight cold eyes, high nose, pouty lips, perfect jaw line, neat haircut, and was dressed in a very nice suit that made him looked more gorgeous (it’s Armani, I noticed) and his height just added to his perfection. It would be a lie if I didn’t fell for his charm, just like what I did that night. But I couldn’t let myself soften every time I see his face. He’s doing no good to me. We should not see each other again, like what I said to him the last time we met; somehow I couldn’t ignore his intense look and how serious his facial expression was.

No one was saying anything so I walked out of the room. I couldn’t let Minkyung wait for me longer.

“Im Jinah” he called my name again. I waited for him to continue his words as I watched him walk closer to me. He stopped his steps when he reached in front of me. I have no idea what he was about to do so I just looked at him. Waiting.

Nothing happened. He went completely silent. Maybe in the end, he realized there’s no use talking to me about this pregnancy again. I wouldn’t want to talk to him anymore; not now; not later. And even though the slightest part of my heart actually wanted him to fight for the baby again, looking at him just standing still, wordless, was enough proof for me that he didn’t really care about this baby. Yes, I know I was the one who pushed him away but then again, I wanted him to stay also. This was so weird; I almost did not recognize myself anymore. Did this happen to all pregnant women?

I chuckled as I my heels and started to walk again. I shook my head in disappointment and planned to have a short nap in the car later on. I need to regain my energy. Seeing Kris Wu was enough to drain my remaining strength.

“Im Jinah, wait,” he called me again, with a louder voice this time.

I sighed but decided to look at him, hanging my hand loose from the door knob. I’ll give him this one more chance, if he screwed this, it’s his own fault.

This time he moved closer to me and as he looked at me in the eyes, I just knew that it would be something serious.

“Let’s get married.”

 

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Writing is my escapism.

I wrote this part under a big stress and pardon me if there's any grammar mistakes here and there. I wrote to express things and somehow, I really like the tense given in this story. 

Have a nice day anyway.