Pretend

"Pretend"

"Oppa… Woobin oppa”

Woobin oppa looked at me and blinked, looking lost as he glanced at me.

“What is it?”

“Do you have something in your mind?” I asked him. He sighed and then shook his head and focused on the road outside. It’s dark, there’s nothing to see, yet he preferred to look outside compared to make a conversation to me, his fiancé. Ever since we left the W Hotel, he stayed idle after he got into argue with his mother, as usual the topic was about Im Jinah, Woobin oppa’s ex-girlfriend.

I would never understand these two. My future mother in law, Aunt Mina, always talked about her even though she hates that woman. And my very own fiancé, Woobin oppa, seemed like he never forget her ever since they separated, not even a second. And here I am, trapped in between.

“Do you ever consider my feeling, Oppa?” I said softly as I looked straight to the front. I noticed from the corner of my eyes that he looked at me, but I pretended not seeing him.

“What feeling?” he replied.

“I’m your fiancé and you kept looking at your ex like she’s the one that’s your fiancé. How could you ask your mother to stay away from her and consider her feeling while you talked about her right in front of me? What do you think I would feel?” I said to him in annoyance, hiding my tears as I bit my lower lip.

“And what do you think I’ve been feeling the past two years doing this fake engagement? You do know who exactly the person I love, but did you even care when I begged you to stop this engagement?” he said in ignorance. He still looked away from me; I could do nothing about it.

“I think we both know the answer” he resumed.

“Do you hate me?” I muttered as I helplessly sighed.

It’s the zillion times we fought over Im Jinah, the woman who never really left the Kim. I don’t get how her name stayed in every conversation I had with Woobin oppa. This is annoying, but I couldn’t do anything. I hate her.

“I never hate you until you’re turned to be my fiancé”

I closed my eyes, trying to understand his words, but it hurts me much.

“We’re fated to be together, Oppa”

“I will never be married to you”

“Su Ah?”

I looked away and blinked several times before I turned my head around and found my brother, Ilwoo oppa, stood on the door of my working room. He leaned to the door, with a bouquet of flowers and a warm smile that I missed. I stood up immediately and walked to him as he did the same, and when we met, he squeezed me in between his arms.

“Oppa…” I said softly as I hugged him back. He let out a chuckle and messed the top of my head. “Don’t do that!” I pouted in disagreement of his action.

“Sorry, it’s been a year since I saw my little sister. Can’t resist my hand to play around with your hair” he said, smiling again as he took a step back. “My sister is getting prettier every time I see her. These flowers should feel bad” he swayed the bouquet in front of me.

“Is this for me?” I replied happily as I took it, the smell is so great.

“Who else? Mom got her spare already; it’s your turn now” Ilwoo oppa said as he walked and sat on the couch. “Your office is pretty, just like you” he commented as he looked around. “Still busy, huh?”

“I joined more exhibition for my shoes brand, yeah, it’s getting busier here” I shrugged as I placed a cup of coffee for him. “You didn’t tell me that you’re going to come to Seoul… I thought you forgot to go home” I mocked him.

“Girls in Seoul are better than in any countries I’ve visited. Beside, it’s time to go home and starts do the things dad told me to do… Plus, my sister is getting married soon. Why wouldn’t I be around the city?” he answered, adding his authentic smile.

“Married?” I raised one of my eyebrows.

“Wait… Does the bride have no idea about her own wedding?” my brother jokingly asked to me.

“Well, I know I’m going to get married, but as long as I know, Woobin oppa has not yet proposed any date for the wedding though…” I tried to recall my last meeting with auntie and mom, there’s no talk about wedding date. Did I miss something?

“Mom sad that it’s the Kim who proposed the date. Maybe he has not yet telling you… Or, it’s supposed to be a surprise proposal from Woobin to you, huh? Oh no, I ruined it then!” Ilwoo oppa busily thinking about the possibility but I just shook my head as I laughed.

“Woobin oppa never do such an event like that…” I said as I rubbed my brother’s hand. He stopped talking and looked at me in a serious face.

“Seriously? He has never done anything for you?”

I quickly shook my head. “No, I mean, Woobin oppa is a pretty straightforward person so he mostly just say what he wants to say rather than busy creating surprise event like you” I said, pinching his cheek as I smiled.

Ilwoo oppa looked at me and softly rubbed my cheek, making me stopped pinching his cheek and looked back at him.

“What’s wrong, Oppa?”

“You grew up pretty fast, Su Ah. I remembered the first time I saw you in the hospital when you were born, I thought you’re a little doll that I could use to play around. Well, you’re indeed grown up prettily like a doll… But I never thought that it’d be this fast, you’re going to be married soon…” he said.

“Oppa… Why are you being like this?” I said as I pouted.

Ilwoo oppa is five years older than me. He’s my only brother and I love him a lot as much as he loves me. We’re close and there’s never a day I went away without him, but not until he’s sent to US for school. I remembered I was having a bad week after Ilwoo oppa move to the US.

“I just miss you, you silly…”

“I miss you too, no worry” I said as I winked to him.

“Are you happy with Woobin, Su Ah?” he asked me, smiling as he looked at me.

Ilwoo oppa’s question made me kind of surprise. I never thought that my brother would ask this kind of question. I smiled to him and nodded, faking an answer though.

Am I happy with Woobin oppa? I have no answer for it right now.

Ever since I was a little girl, I always heard these words from my mother: “Su Ah, that’s Woobin oppa. And Woobin oppa is your future husband”. And for the years I’ve lived by, I only have one purpose in life, becoming Woobin oppa’s wife.

I knew it sounded so fairytale-ish, but really, I never realized that I really like him from the bottom of my heart. I knew Woobin oppa since I’m still a baby, we spent quite a lot time though. Maybe he’s not coming to my house to see me, but to play with Ilwoo oppa, but I felt that every moment spent with him as something precious. I always went to the same school with him until high school and he never failed to be by my side when I’m having a hard time at school.

Woobin oppa is a type of guy who’s silent but fun to play with. He has a lot of friends and even though most of them considered being a bunch of chaebol, he never acted like them. He smoked, yes; he skipped class, yes; but still, he made it well to graduation with perfect score and good university to get in.

A lot of girls love Ilwoo oppa and Woobin oppa, so in high school, many girls looked up for me to get closer to them. I broke their heart though, I told them that Ilwoo oppa not interested to date people around my age and Woobin oppa is my fiancé, so there’s no way any of them could get close to Ilwoo oppa or Woobin oppa. And I got trouble for that. One of my senior happened to date with Woobin oppa and as she’s his girlfriend at that time, she got into a fight with Woobin oppa and also with me. It’s a messy day that time; I got cursed for telling everyone that I’m Woobin oppa’s fiancé and almost got hit for that, but Woobin oppa came in the right time, saving me from his own girlfriend. They broke up in the end, but my heart got broken also.

“Su Ah, you’re just like a little sister to me”

That’s what he said when I explained to him why I’m telling everyone that I’m his fiancé. I couldn’t believe what he said, but I guess because he didn’t want me to get hurt by those who like him, maybe he decided to make me just like a little sister, a coverage. That’s what I always thought, until I saw her.

Years staying with Woobin oppa, I knew his reactions towards everything. Even though Aunt Mina, his mother, always said that Woobin oppa was an expressionless boy, I knew he’s not. He laughed over a joke being told by his friends, he smiled warmly when I greeted him at school, he frowned when he worked on his Math homework, and he always politely nodded when he met someone older than him. Aside from that, I like it when his lips tilted up to form a smile to me, I like his giant steps when he walked with me but then stop to wait for me, I like it when he opened the door for me and let me walked first, I like everything about him.

I think I knew a lot about him and I believe I’m the only girl in his life who knows about these. So when I saw his face that day when he’s back from London for a business trip, I knew that he’s being totally happy like he’s winning a lottery. I was visiting his home back then because Aunt Mina invited me for a tea and he apparently just back from the airport. I would never forget how he ran to me, lifted me up and turned around before he placed me back on the ground. We both laughed about it as we sat on the grass at his front yard.

“I met a woman in London and I think I fell in love with her, Su Ah”

Woobin oppa had so many girlfriends back then and I knew he always dated them because he likes them and not just to play around, but I never paid attention to them because I know in the end he’ll be back to me so I don’t think they’re a serious threat. But this woman, I think there’s something different. Woobin oppa never looked like this before, I could tell from his wide smile and his twitched eyes.

And the threat was getting real when I saw him with her. Im Jinah, the woman he’s talking about, is a famous supermodel and to see her being with Woobin oppa made me broken inside and out. I knew I never have a relationship before with Woobin oppa, we never were, but I knew he’ll be back to me but when I saw him with her, something in my heart told me that this time, he wouldn’t back. I lost him.

There’s a period of broken heart that I experienced. I stopped eating regularly, I started to develop an insecurity thought that no one will ever love me because I only love Woobin oppa the whole of my life and now that he’s being with another woman that he loves, I thought I’d left all alone. And when Woobin oppa rarely contacted me again, I started to get drown on my depression. Aunt Mina apparently knew about this relationship, her words were surprised me though.

“Woobin is just playing around, Su Ah. You have to worry nothing, he will certainly back to you. Guys love game, you have to let him play once or twice, when he’s bored with his game, he’ll certainly back to you”

I really wanted to believe that it’s true but what I saw from Woobin oppa and Im Jinah, I knew both of them really love each other truly. I knew their secret dates because Woobin oppa sometimes told me about it. I was sick to listen to it; after all these times, it seemed that he didn’t understand what I felt for him. I didn’t know why I still want to listen to those craps, maybe because I still believe that Woobin oppa in the end will be back to me, or maybe simply because I didn’t want to let him go.

But the thing that I kept trying to hold on slowly started to be shattered.

“I proposed her, Su Ah. And Jinah said yes, she’s going to be my wife”

I knew I lost him when he said that. Simply, a guy who asked the woman he loves to be his wife must have been really serious about this relationship. And me … I have nothing with Woobin oppa. It’s me who always thought that he’s in love with me too, it’s me who thought that no matter what happened, he’ll back to be mine. But truth is none if it were true. Woobin oppa never looked at me as his potential wife to be and that’s enough for me to wake up.

There’s a period when I just simply sobbing at my room, until my mother would get in and sit along with me. I shared my thought that maybe after all I should stop waiting for Woobin oppa even though I’m not sure if I’d be capable to love someone else like how I love him. My mother offered me to cancel the proposed engagement and I was agree about it, but then a call came from the Kim telling us that the engagement should be started as soon as possible.

I never talked with Woobin oppa regarding the engagement though but I just kind of surprised that we’re still going with the engagement instead of cancelling it. I knew he proposed Im Jinah, but why he cancelled it, I would never know. But the answer to my question was given when my parents and I arrived at the restaurant booked by the Kim to discuss about the engagement. We met Im Jinah and her parents along with Woobin oppa and I really got confused that time, but everything got clear when I heard the explanation from Aunt Mina.

“Someone should not steal someone’s fiancé” she said bitterly at Woobin oppa. I was called out by Aunt Mina to meet Woobin oppa at the terrace of the restaurant, there’s no sight of Im Jinah and her parents.

“Mother, please. You can’t control me forever! I’ve followed every single word you said to me since I was born, but this time Mother, please. Please, let me stay with the woman that I love” he said in desperation. I noticed anger, despair, and weakness in his voice; he didn’t even look at me when he spoke to his mother. Really, I’ve been so patient in facing the guy that I love even though he didn’t love me back.

“Su Ah is the one that’s destined for you. From the very start you knew that Su Ah is your future wife, why bother playing around with another woman when you clearly knew you’re going to stay with her in the end?”

Woobin oppa stood there, lifeless. He sighed and punched the wall with all the force he has and I swore that I felt a slight of seizure when he punched it. His hand started bleeding and I walked closer to him, taking my handkerchief to stop the bleeding.

“Woobin, stop acting so stupid” Aunt Mina hissed at her words.

“Su Ah” he softly said my name as I wrapped his bleeding hand. “Su Ah, please” he whispered as he looked at me. I looked back his pleading eyes, those beautiful eyes... I’ve spent so many years looking at his eyes, the perfect dark orbs, but never had I seen his eyes showed sadness like I witnessed that day.

I love Woobin oppa. And I don’t want to see the man that I love feeling sad and tortured, but… He suddenly kneeled in front of me as he held my hand. I was surprised as well as his mother. He took a deep breath before he looked up to me.

“Su Ah, I know we’re nothing but a good friend, right? Su Ah, please say something, let my mother know that we’re up to nothing… That this engagement should never be present from the very start… Su Ah…” he pleaded as he held my hand.

I never saw him looked like this. He’s always confident, smiled warmly, or positively seeing things from his perspective, but never like this. The guy that I saw that day was just a guy who’s beg for his love and that’s enough to make me stressed out towards it. I’m out of his league...

“Su Ah…” he said helplessly.

“Woobin, stop it!” his mother yelled at him but Woobin oppa refused to listen to her.

“Su Ah, I beg you, please…”

I closed my eyes and sighed. I felt the warmth of his hands and I didn’t think I want it to go away. I love him; I love him so much I just want him to love me back. I really wish that he’s this willing to make me stay with him, that he wanted me to be by his side instead of Im Jinah.

“Oppa, I’m sorry…” I could only say that as I looked at he and he just sighed before slowly leaving my hands. I felt something was losing the time he took his hands away from me.

“Su Ah, let’s get in” Aunt Mina said, telling me to come to her. “Woobin, listen. No matter what you do, in the end you’ll be with Su Ah. You know what I’m capable of doing if you’re not back to the room in 5 minutes. Get yourself ready in front of your father and Su Ah’s parents. Let’s go, Su Ah” Aunt Mina took my hand as I walked next to her.

I turned around one more time to see Woobin oppa. He’s still kneeling on the floor as he looked down with both of his palms covered his face. I didn’t know if that’s tears or he’s just showing his frustration towards the situation he’s having. But one thing I knew of, I lost him forever that day.

Yes, we had the engagement party. Woobin oppa officially becoming my fiancé and people knew that I’m the future wife of the heir of the Kim. But Woobin oppa was never be the same. He started to be distant from me, he ignored me, he never care about me, yet, I’m still here, right by his side. I love him, really, even though he didn’t love me back and I’m not sure that he would ever will. And all I want to do is support my man from his side. Time heals everything, I believe. As time goes by, he would forget her, he would forget his memory about her, and maybe later, be it now or ten years or maybe another twenty years later, he would finally realize that I’m the one who love him and he will love me back. Yeah, I’d love to believe on that.

“Su Ah?”

“Yes?”

“You’re spacing out again” Ilwoo oppa said as he sipped his water. I forgot we’re having lunch here; I kind of spaced out remembering Woobin oppa.

“I invited Woobin for a dinner later tonight. Let’s have a good night” he winked, cutting his steak as he smiled.

I just nodded. My brother should never know that Woobin oppa never once take care of me, that he’s not the Woobin oppa everyone used to know. I couldn’t risk my brother and my parents feeling bad knowing the truth about Woobin oppa, no. It’d be only me who know about it and I’ll make sure that everything will be alright, even though I know that everything is totally not alright.

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I woke up with a headache as I opened my eyes. It’s still so hard for me to wake up but I felt better compared to last night. I got hospitalized for I’m having a bad indigestion due to the lack of rest and proper meal. I need a bed rest for four to five days according to Minseok and there’s no way I could be staying at home since he need to check up on me, just like this afternoon.

“When can I go home?” I asked him as he checked on my temperature and listened to my heartbeat.

Minseok just let out a smile and chuckled as he looked to his watch, checking on my pulse. “You’re getting better though, you rate is normal and I think your body started to adjust to your normal condition” he said, writing something on his small notebook.

“Can I just have my bed rest at home?” I asked him again.

“Why are you so persistent, huh? It’s your second day here at the hospital, why so hurry? We both knew exactly if you’re home, you’re going to work your off and for sure we’re going to start all over again about your medication. Please be patient, let your body recover first before you start on your deadly schedule” Minseok said, patting my shoulder softly.

“How do you feel about eating?” he asked, glancing at the leftover of my breakfast this morning. I only have a small portion of the porridge and ate the fruit well. I shook my head as I closed my eyes, knowing that lunch is coming soon but I really have no mood towards it.

“Not in the mood for food”

“But not if I’m the one who prepare it for you”

I opened my eyes and found a very familiar figure stood at the end of my bed, my mother in law. She smiled towards me as she waved the bag she brought. I bet it must have been another homemade food she made for me.

“Hello, Doctor Kim” she politely greeted Minseok who bowed to her and helped her placed the big bag she brought.

“Wah, I’m so envious towards you, Kris. You have such a nice mother in law” Minseok said as he helped my mother in law put out the food container. I slowly moved up to fix my sleeping position.

“You should be married soon, Doctor Kim, so you have a wife who will take care of you or an in law to spoil you” Chen suddenly said as he walked in to the room. My mother in law just laughed as she heard the compliment. I couldn’t help myself to smile towards it because it’s true, I got the best mother in law ever.

Yesterday when I woke up in the middle of the night, I saw her waited for me. Jinah was at home along with my father in law while my mother back to her house as she’s been waiting for me to wake up in the morning which was not happened. After I got the treatment right when I brought to the ER after Jinah called for Minseok from the hotel, I slept for more than twenty hours and woke up at midnight with my mother in law sitting on the couch right next to me. And today, she came again.

“You don’t have to do this, Mom” I said as she took a seat next to me and prepared a warm soup for me to eat. Apparently, she also brought food for Chen and Minseok to enjoy, that’s why these two were still sitting on the couch as they had their feast.

“I always want to feed my son, and since I only have a son in law in this life why didn’t I spoil him?” she said as she spooned the soup and feed me.

I recalled that my mother this morning also feed me with the porridge. It’s been a while since she showed her worried face over my condition. And as weird as it sounds, it felt good to have her here next to me to feed me even though she should be going at 10 to attend a meeting. At least she came for me…

“Are you feeling better?” my mother in law said, giving me a cup of warm water. I nodded, wiped the corner of my lips with the napkin.

“The lunch is good. Thank you, Mom” I said, smiling to her.

“You still looked pale. You should rest and eat more, I’ll send food again tomorrow, ok?” she said sweetly. I just nodded, there’s no use to say no to her. I really envied Im Jinah for this; she must have been cared by her mother very well.

“Anyway, Jinah will be staying at our house until you’re back from the hospital. The house is too big for her to stay alone, she’s fine at home and since recently she has no schedule, she felt tortured to just stay idle at home. Her father took her for a walk today…”

I just nodded listening to my mother in law. Minseok said that since the room where I got hospitalized might affected the baby, Jinah is banned from visiting me at the hospital.

“It’s a motivation, so you can get well soon and go back to your lovely wife” Minseok said once my mother in law going back home. He and Chen was still hanging around my room just to accompany me.

“How’s her schedule?” I asked Chen.

“Not much. She really just stayed at home since the interview already done and no more photo-shoot scheduled for this week. Don’t you wish to go back home soon?” Chen winked as he teased me.

“I just need to know her whereabouts” I commented shortly.

“She sounded so panicked when she called me that night and when I told her she couldn’t visit you, you should see her face. She’s crying that night” Minseok said, nodding his head.

Im Jinah cried because of me? Why?

“Maybe she’s just panic” I responded.

I noticed Chen looked at me and shook his head. I forgot that Minseok didn’t known about the fake marriage so I cleared my throat and asked him to bring me water.

“You should be very grateful to have her as your wife. She never missed a day calling me to check on your condition, Kris. It’s good to know that you’re married to the right woman in your life” Minseok softly patted my shoulder again and smiled.

“Take care ok? I’ll be seeing you tonight for your night check-up. If everything’s good, you can go home in the next two days. Have a good rest” he said before he left my room.

“You’re sure you okay, Hyung?” he said as he sat on my bed.

“Not fully okay but it is better now” I said as I leaned to the pillow. It felt better once I got the treatment though; the punch inside my stomach was slowly reduced even though sometimes I still felt it.

“You don’t have to worry about work, everything is under control” he said again, reassuring me. I nodded as I listened to his words, yeah after what happened to me, I really need to take a rest and better give my body and mind a vacation from my routine. “If you need anything…” Chen appointed my phone that’s placed on the bedside table, “you know who to call. And if you miss someone, you do know also who to call right?” he jokes around.

“You really can’t stop teasing me, huh?” I replied as I shook my head.

“Seriously, Hyung. Call her, she’s worried about you, I witnessed it myself. She cried as she saw you being brought inside the ER and she’s helpless when she called her parents to tell about your condition…” Chen said again.

“She’s kind of an easily panic person, Chen” I reasoned.

“Ok. I’m just saying, so I hope you care at least to show your gratitude to her. It took her parents all night to make sure that she couldn’t stay in the hospital with you and she better stayed at home, waiting for you”

I listened to Chen’s words in surprise. I never thought that she would be worried over me to that extent though, but I didn’t put a thought about her. When Chen decided to leave, I fell asleep easily since my stomach was full and I drank the medicine already, which made me fell asleep easily.

Once I woke up, it was already dark outside and I left with nothing but silence. I turned the TV off since I didn’t want to watch anything and I refused to read a book because I still got dizzy and reading could make it worst, so I just lying on the bed, looking to the white ceiling.

And there I saw… Im Jinah’s face.

I blinked my eyes several times and an image of her smiling as she saw something she likes vividly appeared on the ceiling again. I shook my head, this time, I imagined her pouted when I got to , one of the best feeling in the world, making her speechless. I closed my eyes, why did I imagine her? It must have been because Chen talked about her earlier… Oh God.

She’s crying for me, or…because of me. She knew exactly I told her to call Minseok and she knew for sure that Chen and my mom will take care of me. I mean, why should she cry?

Another image of her smiling to me appeared. Gee, since when exactly I remembered her facial expression? I really should stop thinking about her. I mean, I was never thinking about her so today is not exception also. No Im Jinah. It’d be better to sleep, but I’ve just had a long sleep I don’t think I want to spend more time sleeping even though I really love sleeping.

I took the blanket and changed the temperature lower. The cold the better, I thought. But then… my hand automatically took my phone that’s located next to me and after hesitated for several times, I decided to call her. I didn’t know why, but I felt a little nervous. Her phone rang for seconds but she didn’t pick up yet. I pouted, I thought she would just answered it once it rang. Maybe it’s a wrong decision to call her, maybe I should just-

“Kris?”

I heard her voice and my body automatically changed from sleeping position to sitting position. Somehow it felt like I haven’t heard her voice even though we’ve just separated only for two days.

“Yes, this is me” I said shortly.

“Oh, how are you?” she asked.

“Better…” I answered. I bit my lower lip and messed up my hair, suddenly it felt so nervous just to talk with her like this. “How about you?”

“I’m fine. What the doctor said about you? Is there anything bad? I heard from my mom that you’re fine already, but was the doctor said something? Like, food to eat or food to be avoid?”

“Mmm. Not really sure about it, Minseok just said that I have rest and maybe the day after tomorrow I can go home…”

“Oh, it’s good then” she sounded relieved.

“Heard that you’re going out with your father?” I asked her, playing with the tip of the blanket with my fingers.

She hummed and I imagined that she must be smiling, her usual smile. “Yes, I went to his university, it’s been a while since I came to his work place. I just looked around and the students there noticed me, wishing me all the best for my pregnancy” she answered.

“Did you throwing up again today?”

“No, I’m not having morning sick again. It’s stop already… Do you eat well?”

“Hmm. Your mom is a good cook” I said.

“She couldn’t stop thinking on what food should she bring for you” she replied adding a small laugh at the end of her words. “Hey, aren’t you supposed to sleep?”

“I’ve just awakened…”

“Why?”

“I had a long nap… And I don’t think I want to sleep again” I played around with the remote control on the TV and decided to turn on the TV.

“Are you watching something?” she asked, maybe listening to the sound of the TV.

“Hmm… Trying to, I don’t know what channel to choose…”

“I’m going to sleep, I guess” she said. I could hear her yawn and could portray her on her loose shirt and short as she slept on the bed.

“Ok, I’ll end the call then…”

“Okay… Good night, Kris”

“Hmm. Good night, Jinah”

I waited until she ended the call and I looked at my phone blankly. I opened the security code of my phone and checked on the gallery. There, I found it. I clicked on the picture and without me realized, I smiled over the picture. It was Jinah’s picture on her long dress before we went for a lunch with my mother. She fell asleep on the couch at the backyard and somehow, when the sunlight fell on her face, she looked kind of…beautiful. So I just took this picture…

I looked like a stalker though doing it, but… Well, I don’t really care though. The picture came out well though and since she didn’t know and she would never know, then I guess I’ll just keep this picture for my own use. There’s nothing wrong with it, right?

The sound of the door being opened distracted me as I immediately locked my phone.

“Awake? Time for a night checkup, Kris” Minseok said as he smiled to me. I just nodded. Yeah, hopefully I could go home soon. Somehow I kind of want to hear Jinah’s voice around the house when she called the maid and asked where to get the stuff she needs.

Oh my God, no. Why it’s Im Jinah again?

I’m going crazy I guess.

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Kris had been back to his house again and Jinah helped a lot to take care of him. Since Minseok told her that Kris should not be staying late and he should be really have a good rest on the bed, Jinah made sure that Kris has everything around him. She helped him to get his meals, to prepare the clothes he’s going to wear, or accompany him if he wanted to get a fresh air at the backyard. In short, she stayed close with him the past days and Kris also got used to her presence around him. It seemed that these two finally relying on each other.

As usual, they stayed in separated room. But this time, Kris noticed something different. When he woke up he checked on the time at the desk next to him, it’s still five in the morning. He decided to have sleep some more but then he realized that his hand was actually being wrapped around Jinah’s hands. Kris blinked his eyes several times, trying to realize what’s happened.

Last night, before he slept, he remembered he talked to her as she changed her sleeping attire. Kris saw her wearing her night dress with the robe on before she went to her room and he’s on his pajama as he prepared to sleep. How on Earth she’s sleeping next to him like this? He remembered that this was not the first time he saw her sleeping next to him. Back in their Alaska trip, she slept next to him with this position also, her hands holding on him. Was this thing got repeated?

But instead of releasing his hand from hers, Kris decided to hold her hands back and turned his body to the side, facing her. Jinah was sleeping with her lips slightly parted and her messy wavy dark brown hair fell around her face. He looked at her hair but as soon as he looked at the tip of her hair, his face got red. The tip of her wavy hair ended at the top of her that’s seen as she just wore a night dress when she slept next to him. Kris, slightly flustered, tucked her hair to the back of her ear so the hair could cover her that’s seen by him. Once the part was covered, Kris looked on her sleeping face.

She slept calmly; her breath could be heard softly. Without her makeup, she looked slightly different from her usual powerful gorgeous face on the stage but somehow Kris felt comfortable to see her without her makeup. She has thin eyebrows, small eyes, the tip of her nose was tiny and her lips… She suddenly her pink lips as she continued sleeping, making him felt a little nervous. But she didn’t wake up and to his surprise, she snuggled up to him.

Jinah comfortably placed her head next to his chest with her hands still holding on Kris’, automatically reduced their space. He swore he had to hold on his breath, afraid that he might awaken her. For unknown reason, he didn’t want her to wake up yet. Maybe because he didn’t want her to see him checking on her while she asleep or maybe because…he didn’t want her to go away, yet.

It felt warm to have her next to him; to have her breath tickled his skin, to feel her on his embrace even though he didn’t hold her body. For Kris, this moment made him feeling comfortable and at ease, a feeling that he rarely felt. He watched her face as she scrunched up nose, maybe having a bad dream. He smiled to himself, she looked cute like this. He moved his glance to their connected hands. Her hands felt so small compared to his. Kris softly took her left hand and placed it on the bed while he intertwined his left hand with her right hand, comfortable placing it in between them. And with a swift movement, he pulled her closer by placing his right hand around her waist and brought her to his embrace, hugging her.

Kris has no idea why he did this, but somehow, it felt comfortable and he wanted to feel her warmth. So for now, he’ll just let it be, he’ll just do what his body made him do. He’ll just take time and enjoy this period of silence, when she still asleep and when he’s still in a mood for sleep also. He didn’t ask much, he just want to preserve this moment and went back to the dreamland, with her in his arms.

And when Kris finally asleep, it’s Jinah’s turned to wake up. She didn’t realize that she’s this close with Kris when she came to him earlier this night. Just like when they’re having a honeymoon in Alaska, Kris got his bad dream again as he kept calling her name. She didn’t know why he screamed her name, but she’s sure that all he need was a calming word to keep him cool. So she took both of her hands to hold on his, but without realizing it, she must have been fallen asleep next to him.

Thing was… she felt that it’s somehow comfortable to be handled like this by Kris, plus her baby didn’t seem to ask for a change of position. So, ignoring her flushed reddened face, Jinah put her free hand around his waist and snuggled up closer to him. And just by that, she fell asleep again.

These two didn’t wake up when Kris’ alarm rang, and also didn’t even hear the ring on her phone. For the first time, they enjoyed their presence of each other as they hugged and be comfortable with their position.

Deep in his heart, Kris wished that it wouldn’t be the last time he could hold her like this.

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Chapter 19!

Suddenly got the idea, so rather than procrastinate it, I just write it… (while I procrastinate on my presentation lol). It’s good to finish another chapter of this story. Anyone got bored with the slow chapters? Let me know so I could decide whether I should make on details of their relationship and interactions or just go with the main act of this story.

Things are slowly got revealed. You can’t wait to the revelation of the baby gender? I think it will be coming really short, either on the next update or the next two updates.

Enjoy this chapter and oh, a sudden increased of subscribers! Thank you for those who read this story and left a comment on it also. Silent reader but a wall post messenger, appreciate it also ;)

And EXO is comeback soon!!! I can’t imagine having them back on stage. Gee…

Have a nice Sunday, people!

xoxo

yuriyaa

ps for those who's curious about the cast, here I reveal you the cast of the parents!