"Awkward"

 

 

“What are you doing?” Jinah asked me as she looked at me with a wondering face.

I appointed to the baby stroller that I was looking. “Checking on the baby stroller, there’re so many brands here to choose. I just need to make sure that we’re comfortable on using it later on” I pulled a stroller, Orbit. This one caught my attention since it’s look big, comfortable, and safe for the baby as well as for the parents. And from what I checked on the website, it’s pretty famous among the A-listers Hollywood celebrities.

Jinah just chuckled as she looked at me while shook her head.

“Hey at least I’m being occupied while you’re busy getting the baby clothes” I shrugged calmly as I talk to her, walking to her side. She looked pretty comfortable with her white pregnancy pants paired with pink loose tops and her crème cardigan. I’m happy when I noticed she wore her Tod’s pink flat voluntarily without negotiating it first with me when we left home earlier.

It’s Saturday, around a week after we informed our family and friends that we’re going to have a boy; Jinah told me that she’s going for baby stuff. Since I have no golf appointment and I knew that my in laws were in Australia for another conference, I offered her to go together. Her bump grew bigger and even though she still managed to walk normally, I just knew that I couldn’t let her go alone. After all, she’s the mother of my baby and since it’s our baby, I partially participated in everything related with the baby.

We visited Nine Months, the latest happening store that sold everything related with baby. The store was quite big with baby lullaby as the back sound of the store and once I stepped inside, I just knew that this must have been heaven for every pregnant woman. I noticed that Jinah really couldn’t wait for the shopping since she got her long list of baby needs that she’s going to buy. I lost her once she got her eyes on the cute baby’s clothes and diapers, and shoes. One thing that caught my attention was the baby stroller. It’s located at the far corner of the store, and I just happened to get interested with all the models offered there.

“What do you got?” I asked her, checking on the stuff she’s holding on her hands.

“Underwear” she waved it happily as she showed me Superman’s baby underwear. It’s so small that I could fit three pants on my palm.

“Seriously?”

“It’s cute!” she said as she smiled happily towards the underwear. I let out a small laugh.

“What else other than the pants? Should we buy some toys or dolls?” I looked around the huge store, there’re so many stuff here.

“Clothes, pants, shoes, socks, everything the baby need, I got it covered. Maybe now I need to look for the baby meal apparel or the bath apparel…” she said as she walked to another alley where baby’s shampoo, soap, and towel were displayed. All of it was so cute, I must admit. Jinah immediately wandered around the stuff.

“Should we buy him stuff like baby theme or Batman theme?” I asked her as I saw a baby Batman’s meal set. She turned her head to me and quickly shaking it.

“No, no superhero here”

“Why? He’s a baby boy, he should know at least that there’re a lot of heroes in this world. And what about Superman earlier?” I raised one of my eyebrows.

“He should know that world should be at peace and no need for those heroes to fight with the bad guys. And for the Superman, well, he represented the underwear very well, so it’s fine”

“Not fair” I said to her and she just smiled to herself.

I found we’re getting more and more comfortable together, and the fact that I’m easily communicate with her made it felt better. Well, ever since I knew that the baby is boy; I felt that I really should take care of her. I mean, despite the baby gender, I would take care of her, of course, but it’s the baby boy, the one thing that would really save me and her. I know I was being a little selfish here, but for certain reason, I wanted it to be boy although I will still take care of my baby even if it’s a girl. But Jinah, I really have to save her.

It was not about the money, it was not about my inheritance if I ever got my baby boy here. It’s about protecting the person that recently took my attention. If I looked back to the moment when I knew she’s pregnant to the time I asked her to marry me… every decisions back then was made by one motive, protecting my position as the only successor of the Wu family. There’s no feeling between me and her, and we purely wanted to save our so there’s no way I did this for her; it’s for me and later on, for the sake of my baby. But the more I spent my day with her, the more I felt the connection between me and the baby, and the more I acknowledged that I am nothing without her and the baby.

Of course there’d be any other girls that I could pick as my wife and bear a child with, but probably not everyone as calm as Jinah on facing this. She understood me, she knew my family inside and she played her part very well. She’s not looking for my money, she has her own; all she wanted was me to take care of the baby, that the future of this baby is secured. I thought that was the main reason of my action so far, until I realized that taking care of Jinah is indeed the main point.

She saved me, by having my baby even though her own career was predicted to be slumped and although she did this for herself and for the baby, I just felt thankful that she considered keeping the baby. I promised her that I will take care of the baby’s future, I will stick to that, but I didn’t tell her that if this baby is not a boy, there’d be nothing for her. A presence of a baby girl in not considered and if we’re going to keep it, we have to get another baby, a baby boy; or else, she should be out from my family. I knew it’s risky, I knew there’s a chance that this baby is a girl, but as I said earlier, boy or girl, the baby is still my child and I’d take care the baby no matter what. And that’s including the mother. That’s why I felt so relieved to hear that our baby is a boy, because it means I could protect these two.

“Oh my God, this is so cute”

Jinah’s voice awakened me from my train of thought. I looked at her direction and walked closer, only to find her looking amused at several pairs of baby shoes. The gleam of her eyes couldn’t hide her excitement of the colorful shoes.

“It’s the latest Armani Junior collection, Ma’am” the store manager came up to her and smiled happily as she appointed the shoes collection.

Armani Junior what? A baby also has branded stuff? Man, those designers…

“It’s so cute…” she praised the shoes again, taking a pair of the brown colored leather shoes and softly touched it with her index finger, treating it like it’s a treasure.

“Yes, it is, Ma’am. We also have the set of baby’s pajama from Dior along with the shoes to complete the baby sleep” the store manager said again as she directed Jinah and me to follow her.

I just followed them and here I am, in the middle of designer’s baby clothes and stuff and Jinah really enjoyed her stay here. She couldn’t stop saying cute or gasped at whatever baby stuff she saw and by the time we got to the cashier, I knew that my card really paid big this time.

“I couldn’t wait to see the baby wore the sweater or the cardigan, oh and the sailor set uniform! It’s so cute!” she said again as she looked at our shopping bags. Ten bags and one additional cart along with the baby stroller were seen next to us as the shop keeper helped us to bring the stuff to the car. I’m glad that at least she looked happy, but of course, there’s something missing.

“We haven’t shopped for the baby nursery room” she looked at her list and then looked at me.

“Well, if it’s related with the item that you want to be put, I’ve prepared some paints and wallpapers that might fit. You can just tell me to take it to the room and we can start to work on it” I said calmly to her.

She looked at me in disbelief.

“What?” I asked her.

“We can start work on it? We?”

“Of course, we. Why? Do you want to just ask home decorator to do it for you?” I offered.

She quickly shook her head.

“No, I want to do it myself”

“Sure. But let me tell you, I won’t allow you to do it by yourself since you’re pregnant, so I will help you and we are going to do this together” I told her firmly.

She looked at me and then smiled. “Okay”

“So we’re good?”

“We’re good” she replied.

See? We’re now this easy to close a deal of something without having to argue all day before getting the win-win solution.  

“Ok, time for dinner then?”

Jinah immediately agreed to my offer. We’re heading to the closest Italian restaurant that we passed since she suddenly craved for pasta and I couldn’t say anything but yes. As usual, she ordered 6 persons meal for two persons but I’m in a good mood to eat, so we’re indeed eating like crazy there. The food was good and she’s happy with the restaurant’s service. Oh, she ordered a cup of ice cream also. I really hope that those foods give nutrition to my baby and not only gained his mommy’s weight. We spent the evening eating and talking and randomly calling my in law since they’re not yet back to the city. And when we left the restaurant with her holding on my arm, I just knew realized something.

There’s no more me or her, no more I or you; there’s only we between us.

And I’m pretty satisfied with that.

 

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I parked my car at the front of Kris hyung’s house. Well, before the house, I have to cross a large green grass field and that’s exactly where I parked my car as well as other cars here. I noticed that Jongin’s here, along with Kyungsoo also since I saw his car and another cars parked next to Kyungsoo’s, maybe it’s Luhan or Tao. Uh, is it a party or what?

I opened the trunk and took out several items that Kris hyung had been asking me to bring to his house and of course, some gifts and cake for the pregnant lady. I’ve been seeing my hyung brought cakes lately, since his wife kept craving for cakes and being a good husband he is Kris hyung always managed to get his secretary ordered him a cake so he could bring it home after work. Kris hyung really evolved from a fine single guy into a caring family man. And I could tell, it’s because of Im Jinah and their baby.

No one would believe that Kris hyung would get married this soon and have a baby also, but life surely gave its surprise. I found these two quite having too much drama in their life before they finally decided to get married, and I personally think that decision was the best thing that could happen to Kris hyung. He slowly opened up to her and if I see them now, I would never think that they used to argue a lot and even once planned to abort the baby. But thank God, it never happened. I saw them enjoyed their marriage life, so for now, there’s nothing to worry about. Plus, it’s a boy. I could really see a happy ending here.

I pressed the door bell and waited for someone to open the door, turned out it’s the lady of the house itself who opened the door for me.

“Chen!” she beamed happily as she saw me.

“Oh, hi Noona” I greeted her back.

Yeah, even though I called her Mrs. Wu when we met in the hotel, when we’re in an informal situation, I would call her noona, just like she wanted to be called. She looked lovely with her long grey dress covered with dark blue cardigan paired with her loose hair bun, appeared pretty warm in this cold autumn wind. I handed her the bouquet of flowers along with the cakes.

“More cakes?” she raised one of her eyebrows. “You’re too generous, Chen. Isn’t it enough with the cakes you sent me every single day?” she smiled happily as she took my cakes bag.

I looked at her in confused. “What cakes?”

She looked back at me, in the same confused face. “The cakes, you know? The one that you always sent me? I mean the cakes…”

 I didn’t recall I ever sent here any cakes. When did I do that? How come I don’t remember any of it?

“Oh, never mind” she quickly shook her head as we walked in to the house. “But, Chen, thanks a lot for the teddy bear. It’s really huge and fluffy, my baby gonna like it for sure” she said, added another beautiful smile of her. And again, I looked blankly at her.

“A teddy bear?”

“Yeah, you gave me one when you knew that I’m having a boy” she said calmly. “Last week…” she tried to remind me.

“Wait” I said to her, making her stopped her steps.

“Yes?”

“Noona, who said that the bear that you got is from me?” I asked her out of curiosity.

“Kris. He said that you’re sending me the bear as a gift once you heard from him that my baby is a boy”

And that’s the time when I understand everything. Really, Kris hyung must have been something… How long he’s going to keep this? I chuckled and smiled to her, widely.

“Noona, listen. I know that sometimes I arranged so many things for Kris hyung to do to you, since he’s an awkward guy when it came to a woman” I noticed Jinah noona tried to hide her smile upon listen to my words. “But I could tell you that not everything came from me”

“What are you refer to?” she asked me back.

“Well, the teddy bear, the super huge teddy bear, it’s his personal choice. We’re in the middle on the road after we’re done with our meeting when he saw the teddy bear being displayed at one of the stores and he’s just asked the driver to stop by and in the end, buy that display bear for his own. He’s happy that he got a baby boy, Noona, and he got so high he kept smiling like a fool. And that bear is one of the impulsive things he bought that day”

Jinah noona looked at me, blinked her eyes several times before she could get my words.

“And the cakes” I paused my words before continued. “I never sent it for you. It’s Kris hyung’s order. He knew you want a cake, so he bought you. As simply as that, and for the record, I never told him to do that, Noona. I’m not lying” I put my hand in front of me in defense mode, smiling at her.

“Oh. Wow… I never knew that” she said, almost like a mutter.  

“Yes, but now you know who the right guy to thank to is” I winked at her, adding a smirk that I believe she understood. 

 

 

“Thank what?”

Both I and Jinah noona looked to source of the voice, Kris hyung walked closer to us. Unlike his usual clean neat suit that he wears every day, he appeared relax on his maroon pants and white shirt covered with the knit cardigan, the one that his grandmother made for him.

“Hi, Hyung” I greeted him as I gave him a soft tap on his shoulder. He nodded at me, acknowledge my greeting. “Had a good sleep?”

He looked at me in confused, but in the end he still nodded. “Yeah, I got a good sleep last night. Now will you stop asking random question like what Jongin and Tao did inside?” he raised one of his eyebrows. That eyebrow must have been a total killer feature of his existence. I just shrugged my shoulder and Jinah noona stepped in the conversation.

“I think I should be back inside, there’s still some work to get done” she said, simply waved at me and walked to the living room.

“Do you bring the wallpaper?” Kris hyung asked me, checking on the box that I brought.

“Sure thing, Your Majesty. Your wish is my command” I jokingly answered him.

“Thanks for helping, Chen. She couldn’t stop talking about the room decoration and it’s just-“

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” I asked him, effectively cutting his words. Kris hyung faced me with a questioning look.  

“And what are you referring to?”

“The whole marriage thing; the wedding, the staying together with her, and now the pregnancy…”

“Yeah, what about that?”

“You’re falling for her, right?” I asked him, paying attention to his respond. Oh, I really like doing this to him. It’s not every day Kris Wu could look timid over a woman.

“Not your business” he said plainly as he took the box and started to walk.

“But you’re happy she’s staying with you. Am I wrong?”

“I need to make sure that the baby is okay and her being away from me is not making me sure enough about the baby condition” he reasoned.

“On which you should see her and you can’t stand a day not seeing her”

Kris hyung stopped walking and just looked at me. “Just… What exactly your question is? What do you wish to know?”

I smiled at him and shook my head. “I don’t want to know anything”

“So?”

“I just want to see you when you’re in love, because it’s like once in a blue moon. You’re not the one who easily fell for someone” I said.

“And what makes you think that I’m in love now?”

I scoffed as I heard his question. This is really interesting, really. Kris hyung always appeared like he’s the most devastating person someone could deal with. He’s straight as the ruler, never missing a thing, and he’s really a hard working person; it took me days to just convince him to join the student party back in the university, he’s not a person who likes to lay back. But thank God, he’s finally dating and once he dates girl, he never stop. There’d be one girl after another and that’s when he’s changed to the better; he acknowledged people more and tried to have a social life (outside the one that’s built by his family connection). I knew Kris hyung as a whole person, but post-Im Jinah period was somehow changed him.

He came home on time, he paid attention to someone (if it’s not his employees or us, his friend, or his main family), he took care of his health as well as his baby and his wife; he started to get accustomed to his new status, being a father. But he also has other side that I noticed; he smiles more, he let loose, he tended to look forward to the next day. And there it goes his habit of talking about her. It’s Jinah this, Jinah that… He beamed when he talked about her, he’s happy when he talked to her on the phone, he felt ecstatic towards her text. I couldn’t say anything else but he’s totally fell for her.

“Let me ask you a question, Hyung. Why you said to her that I am the one who send her the cakes that you brought every day for her?”

“Well. Take it like this. It’s like charity project where I wish that no one knew my good deed and just take your name to the credit of a good thing” he reasoned as he softly shrugged.

“I don’t buy it. What about the teddy bear? How could you say that I am the one who give it to her? It’s totally not true. As much as I’m feeling happy with the announcement that you’re indeed going to have a baby boy,  I don’t think I’d sent such huge teddy bear like that to your family”

“Same reason as earlier. Charity project”  

“Stop giving me crap, Hyung”

“I’m not. It’s just you can’t accept the fact that there’s nothing between me and Jinah”

“Nothing yet” I corrected him, making him chuckled.

“There’d be nothing between me and her and that’s it” he calmly replied. “Stop watching drama, will you?”

“Hyung” I called him and gave a tap on his shoulder. “You should really see yourself. You’re clearly in love”

“Not a word, Chen. Not a word” he warned me as he started to walk inside and motioned me to follow him.

“You’ll thank me once you admit your feeling, Hyung. I’m ready to listen” I nodded in understanding and noticed Kris hyung glared at me.

“Anyway, Hyung” I called him again, looking for his attention.

“What?”

“Your wife knew already that you’re the cake and teddy bear giver”

It’s silent as I decided to just walk faster to pass the alley between voyeur and the living room until I heard a loud yell.

“Chen!”

Oh it must have been fun teasing him all day.

 

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“Ok, I should be back first, time to go home… Bye, Noona” Jongin said as he waved at me on the porch.

“Thanks a lot for your help today, Jongin” I replied, smiling at him.

“Take care” Kris said as he patted Jongin’s shoulder and the two hugged each other before separating.

Once Jongin’s car left, there’s only me and Kris again. Since morning, we decided to hold an open house for our closest friends by having lunch together along with decorating the baby room. I knew it’s so random, but I really wanted to do the baby room decoration so as I kept busy getting this and that, Kris and our friends helped pretty much to do it.

I want my baby to feel comfortable on his nursery room and since he’s a boy, I put blue as the basic color of the room. Chen brought the wallpaper that I’ve been eyeing on the web’s store and since online order would take 3 days to be accomplished, Kris called Chen to get it from the store. It’s perfectly fitted my imagination of the baby room. And Kris somehow did amazing work with the painting along with Jongin and Kyungsoo. It’s totally a team work and I’m proudly said that my baby room is the result of people who love him. He’s so blessed to have uncle and aunties caring for him even though he’s still inside me.

I went back to the room to do the final clean up, there’re several things left there. I rechecked on the wallpaper and I redid the cushion arrangement for the small lazy couch, it’d be usable later on when I feeding my baby, my mom’s said. And I did the finishing for the toys and dolls there, the baby crib, and the cupboard for the baby’s clothes. I felt so happy when the set of the wooden cupboard along with the nursing table for baby’s diaper change and after bath care with similar color of the crib came to the house three days ago. I’m happy that I finally could put the good use of the cupboard to fill it with the baby clothes, underwear, shoes, and whatever baby stuff I brought back at the baby store. And when it’s done, it looked so pretty.

I took a seat on the floor in front of the huge teddy bear doll. It’s so big and huge and fluffy, it’s so comfortable to lean my back there, resting as I looked around the room. It’s so pretty and worked well as I imagined it.

 

 

“Happy?”

I looked to the door and found Kris walked to the room as he brought me a glass of water. He gave it to me while sitting next to me, checking on the room as I did.

“It turned the way I want it, so yes, I’m happy” I answered him.

“The room is pretty, hope the baby like it” he said as he smiled at me.

It’s not rare to see Kris smiling, but when he did and when it’s genuinely coming from him, his smile looked really good and somehow, making you like you want to show your best smile at him. So I smiled back at him and we locked glance for seconds, I somehow felt a little nervous. 

"The teddy bear is cute" I said calmly, or, more like trying to make me feel calmer since I'm facing him, trying to build a conversation. 

"Yeah, it's very cute" he nodded in agreement. 

"Thank you" I said to him, making him looked at me, a little surprise with my words.

"I know it's from you. Chen said to me, don't get mad at him..." I warned him. "But really, thank you. I personally like it and I think the baby going to like it also, he could snuggle with this huge bear" I said as I softly patted the bear, letting out a small laugh.

He chuckled, randomly scratched the back of his head and smiled as he heard my sentences and after that... we kept staring at each other. Ok, what happened to us? I mean, we never really looked at each other like this and ok, why he suddenly moved closer to me. What should I do when he’s getting closer?!

“Wow, it’s really fluffy” he softly said to the teddy bear behind me while maintain a very short distant between him and me, and weirdly I felt like my baby suddenly made a movement inside my stomach. Or…it’s not my baby but me? My stomach felt so weird, I mean, weird in a good way like it’s nervous but it’s making me feel good also. My nose met with his shoulder and I could smell him from this distance, he had this alluring scent that’s somehow made me want to be close to him. Mmm, what? Be close to him? Oh my God, Jinah, control yourself. He moved closer to touch the teddy bear and that’s enough to break my patience.

I purposely wanted to move further away from him so I took a step back by using my hand and moved my closer to the teddy bear but since I did it hastily, I ended up losing my balance and almost landed on the bear that’s being fell also, as to Kris, maybe because he’s alarmed that I’m about to fall, he quickly took my waist and in the end, hugging me closer to him so I didn’t fall to the floor but … sitting on his lap as I tightly grabbed his shoulders while he securely hugged my waist.

It’s so weird; our sitting position somehow added the awkwardness between us. I felt so embarrassed to sit on his lap with our faces closer than ever. This was weirder than when I slept while holding his arm in Alaska or when I knew he’s hugging me while he’s sleeping when I fell asleep on his bed. Those times, we’re both unconsciously getting close to each other but this time, we’re clearly sane and were not under the alcohol effect. We’re really fully aware with this situation.

I found his eyes as he looked at me and I looked at him too. I slowly loosened my grip on his shoulder and just softly placed both of my hands around his neck while I felt him caressed my waist and my back. We didn’t say anything, we couldn’t talk, or I couldn’t talk. I’m speechless with what’s happening but I didn’t know what to do. Should I say something as I stood up or what? We kept this position for a while and I have no idea what to do like… I wanted to stand up but then again, I think his caress on me was somehow- A loud knock heard on the door, awakened the two of us.

“Ma’am, there’s a call for you from your mother” the voice of our maid was heard and that’s the cue.

Kris and I both looked at each other before we looked away, busily clearing our throats and I moved aside from his lap softly. Kris stood up first before he helped me to stand up, now even his slight touch on my hands made me feeling tingling and my heart fluttered. I could feel my face went red as I refused to look at him more and I quickly walked to the door to see my maid who’s waiting outside. I kept fanning my face before I took the phone.

“The phone, Ma’am” my maid said as she gave the phone for me.

“Thanks” I muttered to her before she left me alone.

I took a deep breath before taking the call. “Hello, Mom?”

I got into a conversation with my mom regarding our family’s gathering. I could hear my mom’s voice clearly; really, I could understand what she said and what she planned. But one thing, I couldn’t stop imagining what it would feel to sit a little longer on Kris’ lap? I mean, we’re there and we kept looking each other and I noticed how he flushed red also on his cheek and- Oh my God, I couldn’t stop thinking about Kris! I kept imagining him and all of a sudden, I lost track on my conversation with my mother. I could hear her calling me, I could hear her asking me whether I’m listening to her or not. But all I did was peeking inside the baby’s room and found Kris was checking on the crib, with his back facing me. And that view only already made me feeling nervous again.

Just what the hell is wrong with you, Im Jinah?

 

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So I decided to update again since ideas and the will to write keep coming so better use it rather than kept procrastinating…

I wrote it the past three days during my sick leave and in between weekend. Had a good time on the weekend with my closest friends. Do you have a good weekend too? :)

I hope you’re going to enjoy the story and bear with my long progressed story I have reason to make it like this… I miss Woobin, might as well putting him back on the frame. Aha!

Have a nice Monday everyone!

xoxo,

yuriyaa  

 

ps: pictures are not mine.