"Positive" 

 

“You look handsome, Mr. Wu. Mind to share your look for tonight?”

“Could you please move a bit to the center, Mr. Wu? We would want to take your picture properly”

“Mr. Wu! Congratulation for the new resort in Jeju Island. When are you going to let us see the inside of it?”

“Night, Mr. Wu. Are you ready to see your wife on stage?”

I was never a fan of public places, especially being a spotlight, primarily in front of the media people. Although I know that in my life there’s no way I could escape from their lenses, still, I would prefer to have my PR team be the one who informed anything to the media, rather than myself. Like every other events that I attended, as usual the paparazzi enjoyed their time buzzing around here and there, trying to find something to dig in, from me, my wife, our family. But tonight would be kind of different; it’s Jinah’s comeback runway and this is the first time we’re publicly seeing together after the accident six months ago. The reporters would be having a big feast.

After answering several short questions regarding the suit that I wore, my hair style (yes, I went black recently, short clean cut), and a bit supporting comment for Jinah, I finally could enter the venue and quickly took the front seat. I met several familiar friends and acquaintance and of course public figure that also seated in the same row; we’ve had quite a talk and seriously, if it’s not for my beloved wife, I would never gonna do this.

Jinah was healed and her condition was getting better, her management was being very supportive towards it; they didn’t ask her to quickly back on the entertainment world but it was herself who wanted to do this. I found that gardening was no longer enough to fill her day and rather than having her being all blue and gloomy, it would be better for her to do something she likes. So when she started to be the spokesperson for ultimately famous brands, she didn’t think twice to take it; including this runway.

The only thing I was worried about was her ribs condition, but doctor stated that she’s good to go, so nothing could stop her steps. Her heels finally could be moved back to the walking closet, I swore I could see her eyes glinting as she saw those heels being placed back. Jinah and her heels... Even from the very start, I noticed they had a very intimate relationship. I think I know what to lure her with later when we’re having a fight...

The room went dark and after that, dims. A slow music started, but we’re still not seeing anything until the screen showed the logo of the brand. People started to clap as they saw the name and light went on again. Models kept coming to the runway and showed the latest summer collection for the clothes brand. It looked great, everywhere I saw was bright colors and I couldn’t wait to see my woman walking there. After a while, she finally entered the stage. Jinah was looking great with her bright pink short jumpsuit and sandals. Her hair was tied to the back, curled at the end of it and I love how her makeup framed her face. She looked fresh with her pink lips and bright eyes; she flashed her adorable smile before walked to the center of the stage. Her legs were perfectly shown and I noticed how people started to look at the back of her thighs. Darn, I needed to warn her about the minimum length her short or skirt could be.

Overall, the stage was great and the designer received the flower brought by Jinah; she’s a perfect model to end every runway, I should admit. Once the main event done, it was continued with after party and as I enjoyed some cocktail and snacks, I found my woman walked inside the party room, looking all hot and perfect. She let her hair fell to her back, revealing her y wavy long brown hair. And for the dress, she channeled the lacey broken white dress that stopped at the top of her knee along with her tall wedges.

I didn’t miss to notice her presence once she linked her arm on mine. Jinah smiled brightly once I looked at her.

“Hey, Honey” she brightly greeted me.

“You’re great earlier” I replied, kissing the side of her head.

“But?” she looked at me, tilted her head.

“What but?”

She chuckled and gave me the look. “I know when you say something with that ‘you’re great earlier’ like that, it means you’re not satisfied with something”

“What?”

“What are you not satisfied with, hmm?” she asked as she tidied my outer.

Woman and their ability to distinguish sound; I mean, my mother did it, my mother did it, Fei did it as well; they all knew how to differentiate a tone. And now my dearest wife, she did as well. Oh, woman!

“Your short” I answered. And like she knew it was the matter, she smiled and just patted my shoulder.

“I know you’re going to protest about it”

“Still, you’re wearing it”

“It’s for work, Kris. Did you ever see me wearing such a short short like that before?”

“On the holiday. In Spain” I responded. She let opened, like she’s surprised I remembered that thing.

“Ok, but that’s holiday right? Besides...” she hung up and tiptoed closer to my ear. “Don’t you like it?” she whispered as she kissed the side of my neck. 

She’s really the death of me.

“Honey, profanity is prohibited in public space. If there’s only you and me, I’m sold” I told her, smirking my way.

“I’m not saying profanity!” she pinched my arm and pouted cutely. I laughed and brought her to my arm, teasing her was always fun.

“Just kidding, Baby” I said as I placed my hands around her waist, standing behind her. And that’s when one of the reporters walked in and started the new fighting theme for me and her: baby.

Ever since we lost Baby Bear, we tried our best to continue our life and of course, taking the loss of him as a lesson. We have to let him go sincerely, no hard feeling although Jinah spent most of the nights having nightmare of losing him. We took healing class, met more of our family members and friends, went outside the country for holiday; everything. And thank God, it showed positive result when I saw Jinah could smile again and even joke around. I’m happy she put a serious effort to accept this tragedy. We’re not and would never forget our first son, the memory of him would stay forever within us but we’re moving on.

But after that, she started to talk about baby and more babies. She would always tell me the baby she met, be it a boy or girl, and told me how cute the baby, how he grew up so fast. I’m glad at least she was not depressed or get trauma every time she saw a baby; but it’s started to be a habit for her to rant for a baby. I tried my best not to make a out of it, but sometimes, it got me on my nerves that I ignored her at some point, which in the end made us involved in unnecessary fight. Just like on the charity day when I volunteered to play basketball along with other business owner that’s joined the event.

It’s a bright sunny summer when we played at the park, the event had been started since the morning and now, after lunch and games, we continued the event with basketball play. Basketball was my favorite game; I started to learn about it in Junior High and even got the MVP during my senior time. Usually on the weekend, I played it along with the guys, although most of the time it’s only me and Jongin who’s really playing.

I noticed Jinah was cheering in the viewers seat along with the wife of other participants here. It’s indeed a family charity project, I could really sense that I have my own family, just like the other, when I stood next to Jinah and saw people with their family as well. The feeling was amusing though, I’m happy I have her as my wife. She brightly waved at me. As usual, she looked stunning although she only wore jeans, grey shirt, and a hat. Her sunnies made her looked fabulous and I couldn’t help but adoring her. She looked really happy since the morning; she practically prepared the hampers for the kids at the orphanage one by one, carefully shopped for it and even packed it.

The game continued as tie, but after minutes of struggling, my team finally won the competition. It’s for fun actually, but I’m kind of competitive person, so losing was not an option for me. It’s winning or winning.

We decided to take a long drive to the suburb, spending the weekend after the charity event. I drove myself since it’s on the weekend and I preferred to spend it only with her, no one invited. And since the drive was taking pretty long, we started to talk about our day, our works, family, friends, and of course: baby. Again.

“Honey, Yookyung unnie had her third baby this week, that’s why she didn’t come earlier” she told me, taking out a chip and munching it. She took three and put it on my mouth.

“Really? They’re very productive. Their second kids are twins, right?” I commented as I paid attention to the road.

“Mm-hmm. They have four kids in total. The youngest one is a girl though, finally”

“Finally?” I gave a questioning look.

“Yookyung unnie wanted to have a baby girl after the three boys, she got it” she shrugged and leaned to the seat as she kept munching on the chips, looking at the view outside the window. After that it went silent.

“Do you have any schedule next week?” I asked her.

“I want a baby” she said, ignoring my question. I glanced at her, she kept looking outside. At a time like this, I couldn’t say anything. Telling her to be patient, she’s going to be on rage. But not saying anything could be worse.

“Yeah, sure”

“What sure?” she turned to me and asked.

“Sure... You want a baby, right?” I replied, awkwardly smiling. She frowned and put the chips bag away from her lap.

“And you don’t” she muttered.

“Wait, what?”

“Do you think I never paid attention towards your response the past few weeks, Kris? You’re absolutely ignoring the baby topic. Every time I talked about a baby, you would always answered halfheartedly and even didn’t answer at some points. Are you really don’t want to have a baby?” she said with hatred.

I couldn’t continue my drive with this kind of discussion. Slowly, I moved to the side of the road and stopped my car there. She gave me a questioning look upon my action.

“What made you think like that?” I asked her, facing her upset face. “Hey...” I put my hand on her shoulder, but she quickly shoved it. The bad mood Jinah appeared.

“Baby”

“Don’t baby me”

I sighed and unbuckled my seatbelt and hers, pulling both of her hands so she could face me.

“I want to do this conversation. Are you in or not?” I asked her, trying to look at her face that kept looking down. “I don’t want this argue to be followed at home” I added.

We established rules in our relationship and regarding a fight or argue we already prepared one. Every time we’re having things we dislike, we’re going to talk about it and if it’s end up as fight, we have to get the talk and finish it before the day end, so we’re not going to bring it to the other day, whatever the result was.

“What made you upset?” I asked her.

At first she looked hesitated to talk about it, but I saw her taking a deep breath before answering. “Your ignorance”

“My ignorance about what?”

“About the presence of a baby” “How’s that so? What did I do wrong?”

She glanced at me before sighing. “You’re not listening when I’m talking about motherhood, parenthood, kids, baby; especially babies”

“I listened to you very well, Jinah”

“But you’re not responding to it” she accused.

“I didn’t want you to overthink about it”

“What did I overthink about?” she sniffed, rolling her eyes at me. “See, you admitted that you’re ignoring me”

“The baby, obviously. And no, I’m not ignoring you”

I took a second to break before I continued. “When the last we’re talking about us? I mean, totally about us, you and me, without starting to involve the topic about someone got pregnant or someone’s having their second, third, fourth baby? When was the last time you paid attention towards the house decoration without tried to change the furniture because you’re afraid that the future babies were going to have a problem with our recent stuff at home? What babies are we even talking about here, Jinah?”

She looked surprise as she heard me. “I’m sorry I couldn’t have another baby yet” I sighed and put my hands up. “Jinah, this is not what I mean!”

“If we’re having another baby, we’re going to be happy, Kris” she reasoned. She bit her lower lips, shaking her head. “But you see, up until now, I’m nowhere pregnant”

“So what?” I coldly responded. “Kris...”

“So what? I’m happy with your presence, who said that we’re not happy with just the two of us?”

She closed her eyes, shaking her head once again. “I didn’t feel okay with that”

“But I’m completely okay, Jinah. Why would it matter?” I frowned at her.

“I could feel it, Kris. People put expectation on me; they expected me to get pregnant again anytime soon. Your family...” she stopped at the mentioned of my family.

“What? What did they do?”

“You won’t understand, Kris. The stare, the tension when I was talking to them... I can feel it” she helplessly looked at me. She really looked like a lost puppy when she’s giving me that kind of look. I couldn’t help but moved closer to her, cupping her face so she would look at me.

“What matters to me are you, so you should think the same, Jinah. If I’m okay with that, why you have to fulfill other’s expectation?”

“I’m not living in a society when it’s not only about me and you, Kris” “So my opinion doesn’t matter?”

She quickly shook her head. “It wasn’t like that, Kris”

“What I care about are you, Jinah. You know your condition; you clearly heard that doctor said your health is the main focus. About the baby, if we’re going to get it then we’ll have it. There’s no point for you to think about it...” I explained to her.

She looked at my face and cupped it softly. “I want to make you happy” she said, smiling weakly.

“I’m happy already. I have you” I told her.

“Stop being so cheesy” she tried to hide her smile, but failed once I smiled to her. “Not angry anymore?” I asked her, caressing her cheek using my thumb.

“Do you think I was angry earlier?”

“You don’t?”

“I’m not!”

“I really have no idea whether a woman is really angry or not”

“You better learn well then”

“Yes, Ma’am” I nodded and flashed a very bright smile to her”

“Do you think you’re handsome when you’re smiling like that?”

“I’m not intended to look handsome though...”

“Stop it” she said as she pinched on my cheek. “Drive”

“Now I’m your driver?”

“Oh God, Kris! Stop it!”

“So you want me to drive or stop?”

“Kris!”

I laughed and playfully pinched her cheek before I started the engine. Another obstacle in the relationship passed, I really couldn’t afford to have a fight with her.

What am I going to do with you, Im Jinah?

 

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“Your waist is getting a bit wider” Shin Ae unnie, my favorite local designer, said as she measured the measuring tape around my waist. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Did I gain weight?

“You’re not dieting, lately?” she asked, smiling.

“But I weight the same the past week, Unnie” I responded. “Is it going to change the size of the dress?” I looked at the long blue dress that perfectly wrapped my body. It looked fine though.

“We still can adjust it, it wasn’t that big. But Sora’s need new adjustment, her size gained pretty fast” Shin Ae unnie said again, walking to take her note and wrote something there.
“Sora?”

Just in a minute, the said woman appeared. She had just went to the toilet and walked as she flashed a bright smile on her face. We’re currently doing the final fitting for Chen’s upcoming wedding. He finally really going to tie the knot and we’re all very excited towards it. Chen’s fiancé, Jieun, was one of my friend’s cousins so I knew her long before I knew Chen. They’re a very adorable couple; Kris really couldn’t stop teasing on Chen. He’s never predicted to be married this soon, but it’s all about the time. And when you find the right one, nothing else matter.

“Did you gain weight?” I asked her immediately when I saw her. She looked like usual.

Sora walked to me and with a very wide smile. “I’m pregnant!” she said with failed low voice. She planned to whisper to me, I guess, but it changed into high pitch voice and I couldn’t help but screaming along with her. I hugged her quickly and it’s really made me ecstatic; Sora had been waiting for a while after her marriage with Yoochun oppa.

“Oh my God, did you just know it?”

She smiled and nodded. “I mean, I thought it wasn’t real. But then I went to the hospital and here it is” she said, rubbing her flat stomach. I didn’t fail to see her looked pretty much touched by the fact that she’s pregnant. My best friend is married and now pregnant!

“Awww... I’m happy for you, Sora” I said as I hugged her again. “How old is it?”

“Earlier the doctor said it’s on 6th week already”

“How do you feel about it?” I asked her. I recalled the day I knew I was pregnant. It was more like hearing a bad news rather than be happy about it. But as time went by, I felt truly happy to have my Baby Bear.

“I don’t know. I mean, I’m happy, Yoochun oppa is happy as well. I called him earlier, sent him the picture of the baby inside me, and it’s just... Oh Jinah, I want to cry!” and she ended her words with tears.

We hugged longer this time, I even had to help her wiped her tears, she’s suddenly crying uncontrollably, oh the hormonal changed already affecting her, I bet. She couldn’t stop talking about her baby and I listened to her very well about it, commenting if I knew it’s good or not for her and her baby. We’re very ecstatic and totally excited about the pregnancy; we forgot that we have to fit the dress.

But deep in my heart, I felt a little jealousy towards Sora.

I really wanted to be pregnant again.

 

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“Honey, aren’t you going to wake up, hmm?”

I groaned as I heard Kris’ voice; slowly I opened my eyes and fixed the blanket that’s covering me. He walked up next to the side of my bed, sitting on it.

“Chen’s wedding today, Baby” he reminded me. Oh crap, the wedding. I thought I was sleeping long enough last night, but I felt my body kind of warm and unwell.

“Are you already taking a bath?” I asked him.

“Done. Can you please help me to set the suit?” he asked as he caressed my cheek. I nodded. “Ok, I’ll ask the maid to take breakfast here, ok?”

“Ok, thanks, Honey” I replied, half yawning.

Putting away the blanket, I sat at the side of the bed before slipped the sandals to walk to the bathroom. Maybe I was only feeling a bit tired since I had quite busy schedules this week and only last night I could be free, the tiredness probably accumulated. I checked on the time and realized I had almost 2 hours to get ready. Considering I took pretty much a long time to prepare myself, I should get started now...

I felt better once I’m done taking a bath. I guessed I felt really tired that the warm water helped me to get relax. Quickly, I started to do my makeup and hairdo; it’s taking pretty long though that Kris had to feed me my breakfast. The ceremony would be held early, so we really have to arrive at the venue before it started. I perfectly made a simple bun and did a bright look for my face. I helped Kris to style his hair as well his suit. But apparently he liked to play around with me when I fixed his tie.

“You look beautiful” he said, kept looking at me while I tidied his tie.

“Thank you. You look handsome as well, Husband” I responded.

“No, I mean, you’re really looked pretty”

“This is my face with makeup, Kris” I commented, letting out my tongue.

“Well, I’ve seen you asleep, lips parted. Snoring” I rolled my eyes as my response towards his words. “Still beautiful for me”

I just shrugged and fixed my dress. After I did the fitting last week, the dress really hugged me well and I’m ready to show the flawless long dress. I stood in front of the mirror and put a good look, adjusting the dress.

“My partner for today’s party is really beautiful” Kris appeared from behind me, having his arm on the right side of my body.

“What’s with the constant compliment? Did you do something bad behind me?” I suspiciously looked at him.

He smiled, shaking his head. “Can’t you just accept that I just want to tell you that you look beautiful?” he kissed the side of my head. He took my hand so I turned around to see him. Kris didn’t look bad himself; he’s looking gorgeous with his clean cut short hair and the white-blue suit.

“You look perfect” I said to him, neatly placed his tie and the button of the suit.

“Do I make you feeling like kissing me?” he grinned, leaned forward. I chuckled and cupped his face; right when I’m about to land a kiss on his lips, suddenly I felt a bit dizzy. I quickly placed my hand on his shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I think I want to go to the toilet” I excused myself.

Once I arrived at the bathroom, I looked at my face. I looked perfectly fine, just feeling dizzy a bit. I recalled that maybe I ate wrongly or... I touched my stomach suddenly. I remembered that I haven’t got my period the past four weeks from my usual period date.

“Honey. We’re supposed to leave in the next five minutes” he reminded me from the room.
“On my way” I said as I went to the bathroom.

I got something in my mind but maybe....I better really checked on it later after the wedding.

“Honey?"

“Yes Kris! I’m coming” 

 

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The wedding was perfect. Everything happened according to the plan and I could see Chen and Jieun looked so happy about it. The two of them never stopped flashing a smile and totally absorbed to the party. I’ve had a very nice day to spend with Kris. Funny how we were manage to dance all afternoon. Simply being like an idiot for smiling all day. I didn’t know what’s with him, but he’s just perfect! I’m glad we managed to spend a day together when usually we only met on bed in day to day basis.

When we reached home, all we did was craving for bed. We’re so dead tired, we barely changed our clothes. But I managed to change as well as Kris. There’s no way I’m gonna sleep with my makeup on. So once everything’s done, I quickly rested my body on the bed, next to him.

The next morning was the thing I’ve been waiting for. I woke up earlier than usual, leaving Kris on the bed all alone. Following my feeling, I brought two test packs that was left on the medical kit in the bathroom and instinctively using both for the urine test.

I was sitting in the bathroom, waiting for the test result. Partially, I have a feeling for it. That I’m kind of...pregnant. I didn’t want to expect, but the signs seemed to support the thought that I had. I was feeling nausea; I got my period late... Those two could be assumed as early sign of pregnancy, right?

In my hand, I got two of the test packs. I could feel my hands were a bit trembling to check on the result. I was holding on my breath to take one of the test packs and peek at it. I closed my eyes at first and slowly, like really slowly, opened my eyes and revealed the result on the test pack. One line, negative. Two lines, positive.

I took a deep breath before I fully opened the result. I saw one line already, but as soon as I opened the rest of the test pack, there’s only that one line though. I bit my lower lips, I couldn’t hide my disappointment. Well, yea I know there’s no proof of my pregnancy yet and I told myself already that I shouldn’t put any expectation. But still, I couldn’t help to feel disappointed. I sighed and put the test pack and just flashed the second one. But before I put the other one to the trash bin, I took it again and blinked several times.
I couldn’t really believe what I saw on the test pack.

Two lines.

 

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