"Past and Future"

 

 

I was just gone out from the bathroom when I saw my mom on my room. She’s checking on my cupboard and other things I didn’t know. I sat on my vanity table as I dried my hair. I felt so itchy and dirty all over my body since I woke up this morning, right when I’m done with my usual morning routine-throwing up like I could get out all of my organs- I decided to take a bath and wash my hair, wishing all the dirt to go away.

“What are you doing, Mom?” I asked her as I put some olive oil on my hand and spread it around my hair, checking on my mom’s figure from the reflection on the mirror.

“Checking on your stuff, Honey. I think I’ll send you things you’ll need for your new home” my mom answered as she put away her notebook and looked at me.  “What do you want me to buy? Should I buy you things like rice cooker, oven, microwave, or what? Should I buy you a baby crib?”

I stopped whatever I did with my hair and turned around to face my mom. “My new…home?”

“Didn’t Kris tell you? His mom called me last night and told me that you better prepare your stuff so her people could take it to be moved to your new house”

“A house?” I repeated the word my mom said: house. The past week, I didn’t remember he mentioned anything about home, house, or anything that referred to a new place to live.  

“Or are you thinking to just live here?” my mom looked at me with a concerned look.

Whoa, mother. Me and Kris living in one rooftop together with my parents? It sounds like…absurd things.

“I haven’t heard anything from him, but if he said that he planned to live with me in our new house, then it must have been planned very well by him” I replied awkwardly but not forgetting to give my mom a wide smile.

My mom walked closer to me and took the brush, turning me around to face the mirror again as she brushed my damped hair.

“I never thought that the day finally came…” she suddenly muttered the words, looking at me through the mirror. “The day me and your dad finally letting you go with the man you love”

This is so awkward. I couldn’t say anything to reply my mom; she looked really touched and almost broke into tears, but here I am, feeling almost…nothing. I’m going to get married, it’s true, but it was not to the man I love. This marriage was all about saving each other’s face. He’s saving the baby and my career, while I’m saving him for his throne. There’s simply no melancholic feeling or whatsoever between me and him, and I felt bad to my parents because of it. I lied about my own marriage.

I still remembered what his mom told me several days ago when she called me to meet with her. Finally, I got a chance to really talk with her. She invited me for a lunch together in a Chinese restaurant that she likes. And just like what I’ve predicted, she acted differently the last time we met for the so-called family meeting.

“I’m sorry we haven’t really talk since my lovely son dragged you away right when we’re about to talk earlier in my home” she said, as she smiled sheepishly. Really, Lady Wu is such a beautiful lady but I didn’t get why she appeared so…intimidating every time I saw her. I noticed Kris has similar eyes with her and a slight snob he wore every time he belittled me, it must have been genetic. And I didn’t wish my baby to inherit it, no.

“Your parents, they’re really a good people I couldn’t help but act well to them. Besides, later on, they’re going to be my in-law and of course, the grandparents for my grandchild” she said, smiling again to me.

“I know” I replied calmly, faking a smile in front of her. If she played nice, I’ll do the same to her. Lady Wu looked a little surprised with my flat response, but she didn’t say anything.

“The last time we met, I noted that you didn’t want to be married to my son. And how’s that changed?” she asked me.

“It’s true though, I didn’t plan to marry him” I replied.                             

“And now?”

“He already told everyone about his plan to get married with me and my parents heard it too. I should tell them first and not the other way around, I couldn’t bring my parents down for this type of issue so when he offered the marriage and an insurance that my parents would never got hurt from this issue, I agreed to marry him”

“No other motives?” she raised one of her eyebrows.

“Motives? Like what?”

She chuckled and sipped her green tea on the cup. “Like, you being the first lady in our company”

I frowned. This is the first time I heard about this matter, and what? First Lady? It wasn’t like I’m going to be the First Lady of this country. Oh my God what I’ve been put myself into?

“Listen, Miss Im. You’re not just marrying a rich and capable businessman, if that is what you have in your mind; you’re marrying the future President of Wu Global Company. If you think it was just some kind of jokes, then do search about our company in the internet and proved it wrong. Kris is not just an eligible bachelor who can lure any woman to be his and marry her right away. There’re so many things we should consider about the family background of the future Mrs. Wu. His marriage consists of two important things, the reputation and the offspring. The woman he married should bring a good reputation to our family and able to give the offspring that going to inherit the Wu name” she pause her words, sipping another glass of the tea.

I looked at our lunch that remained untouched. This was not the lunch I’ve been imagined. So this is how it feels like, to hear the advised coming from my in-law, and not to mention half-scolded by her. Considering that after my marriage with Kris I probably have zero possibility to be married again, I decided to be serious about it.

“You do know this food can be eaten, right? Eat”

I nodded to her and took the sweet corn soup on my spoon; slowly put it into my mouth. It’s weird how I immediately obeyed her words. But really, I didn’t dare to just ignore her words, besides, I’m hungry. Along with the baby, of course.

“And out of so many potential girls with good background, he chose you” Lady Wu looked at me like I was some annoying thing. Funny, I’ve experienced this kind of thing before, but it resulted on me being eliminated, because I’m not good enough for them.

“Well, it’s really accidental, Ma’am. I never planned to date your son, I’ve just met him once during the party and-“

“Have the baby right away, I see” she effectively cutting my words. “You’ve just caught the right fish, Miss Im” she added. “But that’s not what I want to tell you”

“I agreed with Chen’s idea, to have you as part of my family. Let me tell you why you made it into the list of our family tree”

I shook my head softly. I think I didn’t just marry a normal guy; it seemed that his family is kind of…special. Lady Wu looked at me and I noticed that for once, she looked like she’s care for me, or it was just a mind trick.

“You have a good background as a model and you have long reputable achievements during your career and you’re the fashion queen the past few years which made all fashionista in this country followed whatever you wore and brought. Your parents also brought a good point to you as they are known as a good family in the neighborhood. From the reputation point, you kind of saved our family name” she softly chuckled.

“And the offspring. We didn’t have to check again whether you can give us the future Wu kids or not, you surely have one. I just really hope that it’s a Wu. And” she cut me before I could speak my protest over her words. “After the baby born, we’ll check its DNA. Just to make sure that it’s indeed my grandchild”

I let out a scoff as I heard her words. Really, she talked like a devil in-law yet my parents seemed to be well with her the first time the talked with each other. She’s not sure whether this baby is her grandchild? Oh my God, I’m so gonna proved it!

“You can ask Kris and you’ll get the answer for sure that this baby is his” I replied, looking at her in annoyance.

“Yes sure, I just need reassurance. You’re not marrying just Kris when you’re being the part of the Wu, Miss Im. You’re marrying the whole family you haven’t got a chance to meet with. But no worries, they all will come to your wedding party. A little tips, never believe any of them, we have this culture of being a rival to each other”

I looked at her with a confused look. “Pardon me, but what is this all about?”

“Kris is the only Wu left in this family tree. If he failed to have the offspring that can bring another Wu names, then for sure the share under his name will be break to the other family. And do you know how badly that is, Miss Im? It’s so bad that probably the family company could be transformed into a private company with a new owner that might be not even one of our family members”

I blinked my eyes several times as I tried to digest her words. All I heard was about Kris, the Wu family, offspring, and share. Really, what is this all about? Is this some kind of drama or what? Isn’t this supposed to appear only in the soap opera watched by my mom on the weekend?

“Bear a baby boy, and you will survive along with Kris”

I looked straight to Lady Wu as she ignorantly sipped her tea again. It’s a tense silence between us, right before I wanted to ask her something she waved her hand elegantly and looked back at me.

“Enjoy your lunch for now” she warmly said with another fake smile as she placed the boiled chicken on my bowl, muttering words that sounded like “Eat this; it is good for pregnant woman”.

I silently ate the lunch, feeling her stare all over my body. She didn’t eat though, for once I thought she wanted to poison me with the food but it seemed that her lunch consisted of the tea only. When I’m done with my lunch, two portion of rice and three portions of chicken and fish along with a bowl of salad, we ended the deadly meeting. She asked her driver to send me to back to my house, but before that she cupped my face and softly caressed it.

“And once again, Im Jinah, welcome to the Wu family”    

 

“Jinah?”

I gasped as I felt a soft touch on my shoulder. My mom looked at me with a worry look. “Do you feel anything? Is there anywhere hurt?”

I shook my head slowly and touched her hand softly. “Nothing’s wrong, Mom”

“Tell me if you’re not feeling well, okay? I’ll accompany you to the doctor tomorrow for you routine check-up. Or is Kris going to accompany you?”

I shook my head again. “He’s busy in his office, Mom. I’ll just go with you, there’re so many things I don’t understand every time I visit the doctor”

“Ok, Dear. Anyway, let’s get ready. You have your fitting schedule this afternoon, right?”

I nodded. Ah, I’m really going to be married…

“Sora is coming in ten minutes, you better be ready” my mom patted my shoulder before she left my room. I nodded and smiled to her as I saw her walking out.

I took a deep breath and looked at myself on the mirror. It’s gonna be a long journey. Brace yourself, Jinah.

 

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“I’ll go by myself, please leave my car on the parking lot” I said to my driver as I stepped in the lobby of the cinema. My driver politely nodded and brought my car.

I placed my suit on my left hand, walking inside the building. There have been several changes inside the cinema; they added more studios and the interior also changed. It gave a more modern look inside, making me feeling like I walked inside a space ship. Once I walked to the counter to take the popcorn and the coke, the manager of the cinema greeted me politely. It’s been a while since I saw him.

“Mr. Kim, how are you?” he said in such a politeness.

“I’m fine. Is the business doing well?” I replied, flashing him a wide smile.

“We’re doing pretty well. Do you want to take a look to the cinema now?”

I nodded. “Is the movie ready also?”

“We’ve prepared it. Once you get in, we’ll start the movie”

I nodded again and then followed him to the theater. It’s one of the large theaters with soft sofa and cushion. This type of theater always successfully sold to the young couples who wanted to enjoy some intimate moment as they enjoyed the movie. I walked inside and the theater remained the same. It’s still the same sofa and cushion being displayed here. I took the seat in the middle of the theater and gave a cue to the manager, telling him to start the movie.

I placed the coke and popcorn next to me as I leaned to the back of the sofa, getting comfortable at the theater. The movie started with familiar music and familiar scenes I’ve been watching for several times. It gave me the same feeling again, the one I had back then when she’s still on my side, when she’s still mine.    

 

“Oppa where are you?” I remembered I heard her voice that night on the phone. She whispered, afraid that she’s disturbing the other viewers at the theater, but she has to worry nothing, no one inside the theater other than her and me.

I waved my hand and she spotted me quickly in the middle of the theater. I looked at her as she walked towards me in her blue loosed shirt that’s tucked inside her blue short skirt. She calmly walked on her heels as she brought her handbag and flashed her bright smile as she saw me.

“There’s no one yet in this studio?” she asked me, sitting next to me on the couch. “I thought I was late” she looked around the studio, looking at the empty seats.

I shook my head and smiled in satisfaction. “I booked the whole studio for you”

“What?” she responded, immediately looking at me. “You’re what?”

“I booked the studio for you” I repeated my words, looking at her.

“Why?”

“Because you said you wanted to watch your favorite movie” I reasoned.

“That’s all?”

“That’s all”

She chuckled and shook her head. “We can always watch it on my place”

“And when exactly we could do that?” I pinched the tip of her nose, making her closed her eyes automatically. My crazy business trip schedules clashed with her runway and photo-shoot time, making it impossible for both of us to meet as often as we want it. When I was in the country, she would be in the other part of the planet doing her work; vice versa.

“Just enjoy the movie, okay?” I said to her as she helplessly nodded and placed the cushion on her lap.

The movie started, it was “Love Actually”, her favorite movie. The first time we met, it’s also because of this movie so both of us like it a lot. She turned into a very talkative person when it came to her favorite movie. I looked at her and saw her yawned already. It’s almost midnight and she just had her photo-shoot done while I just landed back to Seoul. We’re both tired, but we knew that we couldn’t delay our meeting to another day since I will be going to Jeju tomorrow afternoon while she’s having her day off.

I softly pulled her closer to me and placed her head on my shoulder. She scoffed but then circled her left hand around my stomach as both of us leaning to the back of the couch.

“I love British accent” she said out of the blue, eyes glued to the screen.

“You’ve said it zillion times”

“And I still loving it” she replied ignoring my look. I let out a dry laugh, kissing the side of her head. I love the scent on her hair, the rose shampoo she always used every day. She moved closer to me, moving her head to my chest, totally leaning on it.

“Sleepy?” I asked her as I tucked her hair to the back of her ears. She shook her head, but I knew her eyes were heavy. She hasn’t removed her makeup and looked all worn out; her schedules today must have been exhausting her.

“Just sleep” I said to her, softly playing with her long hair.

“I won’t sleep” she said, eyes half-closed but at the same time pretending to be not sleepy. “I haven’t seen you for seven days, how come I sleep when I see you?” she added, smiling as she looked up to me but then looked to the screen again.

She blinked her eyes several times tried to stay awake, but it always ended up failed. I hold on my laugh as I saw her struggling to stay awake and want to sleep. In the end, she ended her fight with her sleepiness, closing her eyes fully along with soft snores.  

“Look who said about not sleeping…” I chuckled as I placed her body closer to me, her hand still lying on my stomach, hugging on my waist.

The movie was long forgotten as I started to feel drowsy also, getting sleepy just like her. I looked at the watch, I still have one hour until the movie ended. I decided to rest my body as well, slowly closing my eyes as I held on her. In seconds I drove to the dreamland, with her by my side.

 

The movie ended without me realizing it. I sipped the coke until it’s gone, lazily took a deep breath as I saw the credit title on the screen. I had so many times spent like this with Jinah, yet when she’s gone, I still couldn’t move on with my life. My life when she’s with me, the time when I’m feeling like I’m the happiest person. But it’s all gone, dusted into a crystal of memory. Maybe for her it’s already a past, but for me, those moments precisely etched in my heart and my mind. I couldn’t forget her.

I hate the fact that I should end the relationship with her, for the sake of my family. I would never do it, if none of them take a part of my personal relationship with Jinah, the love of my life. But I could do nothing, instead of letting her go. I thought I’d be fine when she’s leaving me, but the more day passed, the more tortured I am in this state.

I felt bad for myself. I looked like a zombie the moment she left, I couldn’t feel any emotion. I stopped pushing people away, I stopped being harsh to anyone just because I’ve just having my broken heart moment. But funny thing was I let things go, yet I felt numb. I’m feeling all emotionless towards everything, the only thing I could do is working. And it’s becoming my escapism, even on the weekend. I knew my parents went mad on me since I ignored their beloved future daughter-in-law every weekend and basically, every day, but what to do, my heart belongs to another person I could never have.

The person I thought would be there for me, waiting for me to come when the time is right. Yet, she’s going to be married in two weeks. I really wanted to laugh to my poor self.

My phone rang, showing Su Ah name. I didn’t have any plant to answer her call, but I thought that probably I should take it.

“Yes?”

“Woobin Oppa, where are you?” she asked with an excited voice. How could she kept on sounded excited towards me still remained a mystery, never once I responded warmly to her. The last time I spoke sincerely to her was that one night, the night when everything ended.

“I’m still around the office” I lied; of course, there’s no point to be honest with her.

“Oh, it’s a good thing then. Oppa, I’m sorry I forgot to take your suit on Designer Lee’s place. Could you please go there and-“

“Are you ordering me around? Asked your butler to take it”

“Oppa!” she called me frantically. “I’m sorry, really, I totally forgot about to take it. You just have to try the suit, whether it’s fit or not”

“Just use my usual suit size as sample”

“Oppa, please” she pleaded. This time she sounded so desperate and held a breath before she could talk again. “Please, Oppa. This suit is for our family wedding photo-shoot. For this time, please cooperate with me. I couldn’t stand listening to your mom complaining you wearing your old suit. Please…” she hung her words, waiting for my answer.

I ended the phone call. How dare she beg to me like that? I even kneeled in front of her that time, but never once she looked at me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I need a fresh air.

 

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“Ma’am. We’ve arrived” the chauffer politely said as the car stopped in front of Harry Lee’s private store. It’s a contemporary-style building around Gangnam with a personal touch of Harry Lee, the designer. He’s the best tailor and designer for personal suit, making him the most expensive private designer among all designers in the country. His client consists of top male celebrities, stylish politician, and of course, chaebol families.

“Why are we here?” I asked him, I didn’t recall I have to go here because one, I don’t have any appointment with Harry Lee and two, I’m not wearing suit.

“Master Wu is inside, trying his suit for the wedding, Ma’am. He asked me to take you here first since he’s going along with you later on” the chauffer replied. He left the driver seat and opened the door for me. Really, I’m not in the mood to go for another designer store. I’ve just tried my unfinished wedding dress along with my bridesmaid team, who also tried for their dresses. Thing was, we separated once the fitting time done and here I am with the chauffer Kris sent for me.

I have no other option but following the chauffer. I’m planning to remember his name later on, since he has been picking me up almost every day ever since I agreed to be married to Kris. Let’s say if he’s going to be my personal chauffer, I have to make him goes to my side. Just in case Kris Wu is actually a maniac who tortured the woman he married, I could always ask for my chauffer help to take me out. I’m so brilliant.

Once I stepped in to the building, I immediately went to the second floor since the fitting room located there. The polite staffs there recognized me as I usually work along with Harry Lee for photo-shoot also, as the co-partner for his male models. One of the staff took me to the waiting room, but right when I arrived there, I immediately feeling dizzy.

“Miss Im, are you okay?’ she asked me with a worried look.

I couldn’t say anything, I started to feeling weak and I somehow, couldn’t clearly see anything in front of me. The more I blink my eyes, the blurrier it gets. I felt a pair of hands holding me and calling my name, there were two voices. It’s so weird, I couldn’t even hear clearly, it’s like someone put the volume down I felt people’s voices were so far away.

I tried to open my eyes, but it’s so hard. I tried again, I almost made it as I noticed a tall figure in front of me; I’m feeling their breath around my face but still, I couldn’t see their faces. I took a deep breath, and once again, I tried to see. I swore, it would be better if I still couldn’t see since once I opened my eyes, all I saw is only one person. I started to think that I’m having a delusion.

Woobin oppa stood in front of me, his lips moved like he’s saying something and his eyes looked so worried. I couldn’t hear his words, but I noticed that there’re some buzzing sounds as the background. Oh my God, it’s the first time I’m experiencing this! Am I going to die?

I closed my eyes again and tried to focus, I needed someone to help me. Really I felt so tired and dizzy and so weak, I wanted this to end. What’s happening to me? I continued to feel light, but then I felt soft caress on my face. I heard his voice.

“Jinah. Jinah, please look at me. Jinah, wake up”

“Help me” I tried to scream, but I felt my lips felt so weight to even move. I tried again; I tried to ask for help, no matter how voiceless I am. I need help.

But just like something being pulled out of me, I could finally hear a loud yell.

“Jinah, answer me!”

I noticed the voice. It’s Kris, and right when I opened my heavy eyelid, I saw him kneeling in front of me. For once, I felt so relieved that he’s there. I felt sweat all over my body, I tried to look away but I couldn’t. I fixed my sight on him as he looked at me with a worried look. His hands upped my face, I barely felt something. My body produced a lot of cold sweat.

“Jinah, do you hear me?” he asked me, eyes grew bigger as he checked on me. “It’s me. Kris. Do you recognize me?”

I blinked my eyes two times, feeling wet around my eyes. Did I cry? Kris kept looking at me and as I remembered his question, I slowly nodded.

“Are you okay?” he asked me again. This time I shook my head faster and I didn’t know why, but all I wanted is to cry. So I cried, with a loud sob and sniff sounds, suddenly burst into tears. I cried because I’m feeling all panic, but I also felt relieve since Kris stayed here with me. At least I have someone to rely on.

So when he cupped my face again and asked me to calm, I just clung myself to him. I placed my head on his shoulder as he brought me closer to his body. He’s still kneeling when I hugged him tighter, telling me that everything will be alright. But I’m still shaking; feeling all shocked to whatever happened to me.

I felt my legs gave up on me, since I could only sobbing while drowning myself to Kris’ chest and grabbed his suit tightly. I couldn’t remember anything else when I felt Kris picked me up, leaving the store to enter his car. Once I closed my eyes, I couldn’t hear anything else.

 

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“It’s fine, Kris. She’s just feeling tired and seemed like there’s some smells she sensed when she’s entering the room, that’s why she suddenly feeling dizzy. She should take a rest now, let her sleep and she’ll feeling better when she’s waking up later on. Oh, and let her has whatever she wanted to eat. She needs energy”

 

What Minseok, our family personal doctor, said about Jinah made me feeling a little at ease. It seemed like Jinah were having a serious shock attack, I couldn’t understand what’s happening. I just went out from the fitting room when I’m done trying my suit and all I saw was her being surrounded by people as she kept asking for help. I felt worried, that’s why I shoved anyone who blocked my way and helped her to wake up as she kept closing her eyes.

Jinah moved on the bed and suddenly opened her eyes. She blinked several times when she started to realize that she’s not in her house.

“Looking for something?” I asked her. “Are you okay?”

“Where am I?” she asked me with a soft voice, feeling weak just even to talk.

“You’re in admitted to the hospital. You’re having a shock attack, seemed that there’s something wrong in the store earlier that made you feeling dizzy and weak…” I explained to her. “You okay?”

She nodded. “Better”

“Do you want to eat something?” I offered her. Again, she shook her head.

“Kris” she called me.

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry to bother, but could you…could you please help to take me to the bathroom? I think I’m going to throw up…” she said the last sentence in a breath. She quickly covered with her palm. Realizing how serious it would be when she said that she wanted to throw up, I quickly took her to the bathroom and let her throwing up. I made her hair into the bun, using her hair pin, making it more comfortable for her throw up. Once she’s done, I took her back to the bed and let her lie down there.

“I think you should eat something” I told her.

“I want something sweet” she said, rubbing her stomach.

“Aren’t you craving for some food?”

She shook her head faintly. “Just strawberry ice cream will do”

“That’s all?”

She nodded, closing her eyes.

“Is it okay for me to leave you for minutes? It might take a while for me to but the ice cream. Are you okay being alone?” I asked here, checking on her expression. Still closing her eyes, she nodded and hummed.

I looked at her again and called the nurse to come to wait for her while I’m going down to buy the ice cream. I took my suit and left the VVIP room in the hospital to go to the nearest convenience store that sold the strawberry ice cream she craved for.

To be honest, when she’s awakened, I have so many things to ask for. Like, what’s happening to her? What did she feel back then when she uncontrollably shaking and screaming for help? And the most curious one, why the General Manager of Kim Construction was there and called her name? I mean, he didn't even call her family name, yet he called her Jinah and he looked damn worried over her. Did they know each other?

I took a breath before I was greeted by the cold autumn wind. It’s surely a cold one and it’s kind of making me feeling a little uncomfortable, yet she craved for something sweet and cold at this kind of weather. My eyes caught the store and quickly looked forward to buy the ice cream.

All my curiosity will have the answer later on; I’ll just have to wait. But for now, baby first.

 

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Hello!

I'm feeling happy I could update for the 10th chapter! What do you think of this?

I put the title as Past and Future to tell you that Jinah is actually standing in the present, with her past and future squeezing her. The wedding bell is about to ring, please do wait for the event and honeymoon. Ha, will they have their honeymoon? ;)

I felt so productive to post 3 updates this week. One is this story, one for Ever After, my extra stories of Wu Family (if you read Lost in Translation and Come What May, you must have known this hehe), and the other one is a new fanfiction with Sehun as the maincast. Titled Behind the Perfection. It would be kind of suicidal thingy, so if you wish to know about it, please check on the foreword ;) 

Ok, tomorrow is the start of working day again, which meand I'll be late to update the story again. But hopefully I can update it asap! 

See you everyone: :)

 

yuriiyaa