http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8X35hRBbuM- Chouji Theme- Naruto (Sorry, not a Kpop song, but I like it cause it has a really sad melody, hope you all like it though, it;s from my favourite anime, Naruto !)

What. Is. This.
You felt numb. Actually, you felt nothing. Your mind was completely blank. You thought nothing. Your hands were trembling wildly as you stared at the contents of the box. You lost all feeling in your legs and collapsed to the floor. Memories flooded into your brain, each memory stabbing you painfully in the chest. You held back the hot tears.

In front of you was a CD and letter. Sure, you’d be happy to receive a CD. But this, this was different. This CD, was not an ordinary disk that contained songs that were written by one and sung by other. The songs on this CD, were sung by your brother. With all the strength in you at that moment, you took the CD out and left the letter in the box. There was Jaehyo’s handwriting on the front cover. Slowly, you read what it said.
‘The Way You Look At Me’

Under the title, was handwriting, but very small. ‘For my beautiful dongsaeng, _____’

You couldn’t take it. You hadn’t even read the letter and yet you broke down already. A bit too quick, to be precise. You became weak. You couldn’t move. You had realised, right then, that he had left you this time, forever. Suddenly, the memories that you were trying to hide in a little corner, took over.

-Flashback-

“Oppa! What do you want to be when you are older?” you asked, looking up at him.
“Hm, I want to be a singer!” Jaehyo beamed.
“Aish, as if,” you pouted mockingly.
“Yah, are you mocking me? I will! And when I become one, I’ll make a whole album for you! I promise! If it’s the last thing I do, for you, or for anything, I will.”
“Promise?” you held out your pinky.
“Neh, promise,” Jaehyo entwined his pinky with yours.
“Oppa, sing for me?” you bated your eyelashes.
“Okay,” Jaehyo cleared his throat.
“When you’re looking for me, don’t worry. Because I won’t be far, I’ll be closer than you think. Just look into your heart and I’ll be there, with my arms spread open, ready for you to come.” Jaehyo sang.
“What song is that?” you asked.
“I made it up,” Jaehyo smiled.
“Oh, it’s beautiful, oppa,” you beamed.
“Aish you cutie!” Jaehyo squeezed your cheek.

-End of flashback-

“The last thing I do…” you whispered, “For you…”
Hot tears streamed down your face. You unwillingly got yourself together and held the letter in your trembling hands. Bracing yourself, you opened the letter and read.

‘_____-ah,
It’s your oppa, Jaehyo… I don’t know what to say or where to start… But wow, you have grown up. In a good way, though. You have matured to such a young, beautiful lady. I’m so proud of you…
Remember when you were little? Oh, those were the times. You’d used to come to me when you came home from school instead of omma… Hehe, I sometimes thought it was only for the little lollies I hid in my room. Remember when we used to sing together? Remember when we used to play and get in trouble by omma, then have to do chores around the house? Remember how you used to smile? It was as if the brightness from the sun had taken over you. I loved it. Do you remember all these things? Do you remember that one time when those girls were being mean to you and you came and cried to me? Did you know that my heart was hurting so bad to see those tears go down your face? Did you know… How much I loved you? And I still do. Much much more than anything in this world. Please, don’t cry. You are much more beautiful when your smile is on. I still remember when you first came to this world. Holding your small body in my arms… To see you taking your first steps. It made my world. You are my world. The day you called me oppa for the first time… Made me love you even more.
_____-ah, I’m sorry for leaving you. I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you. I’m sorry for leaving you, all alone, without an oppa to lean your head on. I’m sorry for not saying anything. I’m sorry for everything. But, I am especially sorry for not telling you I love you enough. I know how much it must have pained you to not know that. I love you, _____-ah, so much. No one could ever love you more than me, that is why I had to leave. You don’t know what pain I had to go through, as well. I was dying, literally.
______-ah, you are not an ordinary girl; you are so unique, and beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You love music, you love to smile, you love to dance wildly when no one is around. You don’t like wearing a lot of makeup. You are a natural beauty. Don’t let anyone bring you down, keep your head up no matter what. Be strong for me, okay? Live your life freely.
When I saw you after all these years, I- I can’t even explain. It was like the sun had come back into my heart. But I knew my heart could not be mended. I am sorry for not talking to you, not smiling at you, not being there for you, not watching over you, and not telling you how much I love you. I am deeply sorry. I know you will probably not going to forgive me for all the pain I have caused. I just want you to know that I still love you, no matter what.
I know you are strong, I know you can handle things no matter how hard it is. So I expect you to be strong about this. I hope you will always remember me. Not as the brother who left you, but as your loving brother, who will love you even after the world ends.
This is most likely the last time you will ever hear from me. So, I want you to keep in mind that I am always with you. Even though I won’t be there to talk to you, I will always be in your heart, as you will mine.
The CD that is with this letter, I have sung for you. You should know the meaning of the title, right? ‘The way you look at me’ Remember? It was your favourite line from your favourite song when we were younger. You used to jump around singing the song. I don’t know what made you so happy listening to that song, it wasn’t a very exciting, happy onelike the ones your usually listened to. But I came to realise, that this song, related to me. The way you used to look at me, with those hopeful cheery eyes, made me feel like the luckiest older brother in the world. The way you looked at me, when you were happy and when you were sad, made me realise that I had to cherish every moment with you, as if I had no more time left. Tick tock, the clock was ticking.
There are a total of 6 songs on this CD, and I hope you enjoy them. I wrote each of them, except for one. Remember the song you made up when you came home from school that one day? You were so happy because you got your first ever award. You were so happy that you decided to make up a song about you and I, as…. Pigs. Pigs who lived happily ever after. I’m not sure what was going through your head that day, but I kept the lyrics you wrote and had given to me. It’s one of my most treasured things. I will never let it go.
I hope you treasure this CD, as it is the only thing that I have for you, besides my love. I hope you listen to it and smile, remembering all the good times we had.
This is quite a long letter, but it’s only a fraction of what I want to say. I hope you will always remember me. I hope your future is bright. Stay strong, pass exams, treat yourself a lot, and keep in mind that your oppa will always love you. We will meet again, in the future, just listen to your heart, and you will hear me.
I’ll miss you, _____-ah. I have said this many times, but I want you took keep this in mind all the time, I love you so much. Take care, baby sister…’

A large, hot tear dripped on the paper, spreading it’s moisture to create a damp circle on the page. You sobbed loudly.
“He really did love me, so much!” you whimpered. “But why, why?! You didn’t tell me why! Why did you leave! Why?!”
You pulled your hair in frustration. You were going out of your mind.
“Yes, I remember all of that. I forgive you, I forgive you! Just please, come back!” you screamed at the letter, letting your hot tears fall onto the paper.
“I love you, oppa. I love you too! Just come back! Why did you go! I don’t want you to go! I want you to stay! I want to go back to how we were before! Why can’t you do that?”

Silently, Yookwon was listening to you wail, tears slowly falling down his face. He didn’t want to enter your room, he knew you needed to calm down yourself.
“Why did you leave?! Please, tell me why…” you whispered. Yookwon noticed the fear and pain in your voice. But what could he do? He had to leave you alone for now. Slowly, he walked away, shaking his head. Harshly wiping his tears, he looked back at your door once again. “_____...”

You picked up the CD and turned it over. The track names where handwritten, too.
‘1. Happy piggies 2. You will always be in my heart 3. Saranghae 4.Your Name 5. This is not the end 6. Never ending story’
You didn’t want to listen to it in fear that you will mentally go unstable, so you tightly hugged the CD to your chest and cried.
“Why, is life so hard? Why, did he leave? Why, at least say why….”

Yookwon looked at the clock. It was 7:45. Jaehyo was leaving in an hour and 15 minutes. Sighing, he put his head in his hands and groaned inwardly. You were in your room for at least an hour, crying. Yookwon was on the verge of break down.

You were crying non-stop until it suddenly hit you. Yookwon would know why Jaehyo left, right? Yookwon would know if he would come back, right? You wiped your tears and ran out of your room to Yookwon. He was in the living room with his face in his hands.
“Yookwon oppa!” you yelled. He jumped up with a start.
“Mwoh, what is it?” he panicked.
“Why did Jaehyo oppa leave me? You would know, right?!” you asked, tears still falling out of your eyes.
“U-Uh,” Yookwon tried to come up with something, but failed. When he looked at your face, he could not dare lie to you. Letting all his defence barriers down, he sighed. ‘I am so, so sorry, Jaehyo.. But it must be done.’
“Sit down,” Yookwon beckoned. It looked as though he was on the verge of tears.
You sat down. “Tell me, please! You do not know how bad I want to know why!” you cried.
Yookwon sighed, holding in more tears. “Your brother…”
You sat in anticipation.
“Jaehyo is…”
You didn’t have any patience left and raged out. “Yah! Tell me! Stop repeating things! I want to know!” you rambled on and on until Yookwon finally lost it and yelled back at you.
“Yah! Jaehyo is sick! Okay!? He left because he didn’t want you to hurt more! He’s sick, _____! Sick! He’s gone! And he’s not coming back!”
You stopped. “What do you mean? It can’t be that-“
“He’s sick! _____! He’s going to die!!” Yookwon raged.
You sat there in shock, and suddenly screamed. You covered your ears. “No! He won’t die! He’s going to come back! I don’t believe you! Oppa can’t die! I need oppa!”
Yookwon started to cry too.
You screamed for one last time, letting out all of your emotions into one word, “OPPA!!!!”

A/N: Here is a VERY LONG chappy for you all! Sorry if it's not written well, I was trying to make it really sad, I sorta nearly cried writing this... I hope you all enjoyed it and don't forget to 
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