Part 58 Wooo hooo! Second to last chapter. Another emotional chapter just tying up loose ends really! ^^ READ/RATE/MESSAGE ~{xxxKissTheAngelxxx}~ Melissa Playing: "When I Fall" By After School (I love this song! ^^)

I had been racking my brain and heart desperately trying to figure out what I wanted and what I felt. Three more weeks had gone by so quickly and not a single word from Micky. I was too scared to call him being that I still didn’t know what I felt for him and I couldn’t let him know that.

I was still stuck in a bad place with my job position. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain by going to Korea but I still needed something extra to make me take that chance.

I sighed heavily lying back on my sofa.

“Why can’t I just make a decision…if I go I get my dream job, my dream life and Yoochun…if I don’t, I go back to my normal routine and probably won’t ever see Micky again,” I mumbled out my options.

I felt a slight stabbing sensation in my heart as I thought about never seeing Micky again. I had never felt that feeling before not even with Ryan…it was so different.

Suddenly a loud knock on my door interrupted my thought process. I growled and got up off the sofa then walked to the door. I peered through the keyhole to see someone waiting patiently on the other side.

It was someone very unwanted. I took a deep breath and opened the door. Ryan stood there with a weak smile,

“Hi Tianna,”

I folded my arms and narrowed my eyes at him.

“I see your face cleared up, shame really!” I hissed.

Ryan nodded solemnly, “Okay I deserve that….but can we just talk?”

I laughed bitterly, “You what’s amazing Ryan, is that after Micky kicked your arse, you haven't attempted to try and see me…and now that Micky’s gone, you think you can just walk back in to my life but I don’t think so!”

“I know I can’t, I just…really want to talk that’s all,” Ryan replied with a serious face.

As much as I didn’t trust him, what harm would come of hearing his excuses out. Kim had her shot so now it was his turn.

“Fine! I give you 10 minutes to deafen me with your lies then you’re out of here,” I grumbled opening the door wider for him then moving to lean against my kitchen counter.

Ryan walked in and shut the door behind him.

“Your place hasn’t changed much,” He commented looking around.

“Stop with the small talk Ryan and get to the point,” I growled impatiently.

Ryan his chin and began to speak, “Tianna…I was wrong when I did what I did…but I was scared of losing you,”

I smirked evilly, “Okay…Oh by the way how’s Kim? Cause the last time I saw her I left her crying at the tennis court, after she admitted she was in love with you,”

Ryan gave me a confused face, “What?”

I rolled my eyes and moved to the fridge.

“You didn’t know?!” I gasped sarcastically,

Ryan just gave me a blank stare.

“Of course you wouldn’t, you were too busy using her to get back at me,” I snarled out, grabbing a bottle of water and closing the fridge door.

“It wasn’t like that! She kept getting inside my head saying that you’d go back to Onew and then it just happened!” Ryan growled back.

“Yeah right! You just magically forgot I loved you and ed Kim!” I hissed out moving closer to confront him.

“Whatever Tia! You can talk?! You can’t tell me you and Micky didn’t have a thing in Korea, it was obvious what he came here for!” Ryan argued back.

He was beginning to get under my skin.

“Fine, I admit I kissed Micky a few times and something could have happened but it didn’t, cause I made the mistake of coming back for you, cause I was so in love with you!” I huffed out angrily.

Ryan shook his head, “Honestly T, what the hell does Micky have that I don’t? In fact what kind of person is he to move in on a woman who was already in a committed relationship?”

“Don’t you dare start on Yoochun! He’s a hundred times better then you’ll ever be! He came here because he missed me and he loves me, unlike you!” I shouted back.

This was turning into an emotional argument. I had to be strong, I couldn’t let Ryan break me, not again.

“Okay I see…but if Micky loves you, why isn’t he here?...If he loves you soooo much, he would have stayed with you, he would be right here where I’m standing now!” Ryan said harshly leaving me speechless to reply.

I knew there was no truth to what Ryan had said but it still hurt. It was true that Micky had left me alone but it wasn’t his fault.

“Shut up Ryan! You don’t know Micky like I do,” I croaked out trying hold back my tears.

“Tianna if he really loves you, he wouldn’t have left you…” Ryan paused for a second, “I love you so much T! I was gonna ask you to marry me,”

Ryan confession hit a nerve. I couldn’t hold in my emotions anymore. I began to cry tears of pain, hurt and neglect.

“If you wanted to marry me…why did you hurt me Ryan? Why did you throw it all away based on your stupid jealousy?!” I whimpered out wiping my tears away.

Ryan put his arm around me and sighed, “Tia…I didn’t mean to hurt you, I never wanted this to happen,”

“But you made it happen Ryan…You broke me,” I cried looking up at him as held me tight.

“I-I’m really sorry,” Ryan apologised.

His apology seemed quite sincere until began to lean in to kiss me. I pushed Ryan away from me before he could even reach my lips.

“I can’t ing believe you! Trying to kiss me when you're the one that made me like this?! There’s no way in hell I’d give you another chance!” I shouted backing away from him as far as possible.

“Does me wanting to marry you mean anything to you?!” Ryan growled back, I could see the anger in his eyes.

“No not really, because I don’t love you, I love Micky!” I paused and replayed the sentence in my head.

“I love Micky,” I gasped out quietly to myself.

I pondered in awe for a moment, everything was so clear now. I wiped all the tear stains from my face then remembered Ryan was still here.

“Ryan get out now! I don’t need you, respect you or love you so there’s no hope for us ever!” I said harshly staring a hole through him.

Ryan clenched his fist and shook his head before he began walking to door.

“You have no idea what you’re missing,” Ryan growled opening my door.

I walked up to my front door and smiled just as Ryan stepped through the doorway.

“No Ryan I do but what I want isn’t you!” I replied shutting the door his face.

I took a deep breath then ran to the kitchen counter to pick up my phone and dialled the number.

“Hello?” A croaky voice filled my ears.

“I think I’ve made my decision!” I smirked to myself…