Kamin turned back and heaved a sigh of relief as she spotted no one following them. She placed her hand on Kai's car that was parked at the roadside, catching her breath. 

 

"He's gone now." Kai spoke finally.

 

"Yeah." Kamin said, breathless. Her mind was still spinning from seeing Baekhyun again. 

 

I don't believe you and I won't believe you because I know that in your heart, I am still there.

His words remain etched in her mind right after she walked away from him. What did she feel about it? Kamin has no idea. She can only feel a gamut of emotions but not one emotion can be pinpointed. 

 

Find me, Kamin. Because if you don't, I don't know how long I will continue to be lost.

 

Lost.

 

Find me, Kamin. 

 

Kamin squeezed her eyes shut. Forget him, Kamin. He's history. You were supposed to have forgotten about him long ago. Haven't you already severed ties with him? You and him never happened. Yes, we...we never happened. And nothing will happen. 

 

Hopefully. A small voice chimed in. 

 

"Kamin? Kamin?" 

 

"Huh?" Kamin zapped back to reality. 

 

"You seem to be a little out of yourself. Is everything okay?" Kai asked, concern lining his brows.

 

"Not exactly....but..." She sighed. It was only then when she found that her hand was still in Kai's. 

 

She blushed a fierce red and pulled her hands away immediately. But her hands remained intertwined with Kai's. She looked up to meet Kai's intent gaze. 

 

"Kai, my hands-"

 

"I haven't let go." Kai said simply, his gaze gentle.

 

"You can let go now-" Kamin drew in a sharp intake of breath as Kai shifted closer to her, their breaths intermingling.

 

"What if," he breathed,"I don't want to let go?" 

 

Kamin instinctively took a step back and her back pressed against the cool surface of the car's window. 

 

"Kai..." Kamin struggled to find the right words but her mind was blank. The close proximity made it even harder to think straight. Kai still held her gaze as he shifted closer. 

 

"Kamin." Kai held their intertwined hands up, "what you said just now... Did you really mean it?" 

 

I realized that Kai is the one for me. He has always been the one for me.

 

A few sentences popped out. 

 

The one I love is him. 

 

Kamin hurriedly pulled her hand out of Kai's and folded them across her lap. Kai sighed but moved backwards. Kamin started breathing again. 

 

"Kai, I..." She started. She had only said that to get Baekhyun to leave. There was not any other intent to it. 

 

"Wait. Before you say anything else, I have something to show you. You can answer me after you see it. Can you agree to that?" Kai asked. 

 

Kamin gulped but she nodded. 

 

"Get into the car then. We are heading home." 

___________

 

The car ride back home was awkward. Kamin could just feel the awkwardness hanging in the air.  The radio was not and she could only hear silence and the occasional clearing of throat from Kai. She felt so conflicted and if there was to be any more complications, Kamin felt that she would not be able to take it anymore. Baekhyun was here, in Tokyo, trying to get back with her. And Kai is saying some things that she cannot exactly decipher. But nevertheless, she managed to sit through the whole car ride. 

 

As she stepped out of the car, she finally heaved a sigh before following Kai obsequiously into the house. 

 

"I want you to see something." Kai stopped in front of the wooden door of the room that was left a mystery to Kamin. 

 

"The locked room..." Kamin whispered. 

 

Click.  

 

And the locked room is not locked anymore. Kamin thought to herself. Little did she know that Kai was thinking the exact same thing, just that she did not know how much this sentence meant to Kai. 

 

However, Kamin abandoned all other thoughts as Kai opened the door.

 

Polaroids covered the four white wall, giving it more than just colour, but also memories to reminisce about. Empty as it looked, the room was full of memories, that would be more valuable than would any expensive furniture be.

 

"Behold the locked room you have yet to explore." Kai spread out his hands. Kamin looked at the walls, her eyes unable to choose a focus point. The Polaroids sketched out their relationship timeline, from the day he confessed to the first date, the first year anniversary and every other date Kamin could or could not remember. 

 

"My Polaroid obsession found a room for itself." Kai gestured for Kamin to take a look. Kamin took a few baby steps tentatively towards the wall, her fingers landing on a photo which showed the both of them lying down side by side at the beach. 

 

"I never knew that being at the beach could be so...thrilling." Kamin turned to look at Kai who was lying beside her, clad in casual beachwear. 

 

"Thrilling in a good way or a bad way?" Kai held her hand as he shifted in his position on the picnic mat to face her. 

 

"Things are always in a good way when I do them with you." Kamin smiled endearingly at him,"especially when there is skinship involved." 

 

"Skinship?" Kai grinned, shifting a little closer,"how do you feel? Does your heart go dugeun, dugeun?" 

 

"Mmmmm. I don't know. Why not you come a little bit more closer?" Kamin pulled him by the collar, his face now merely a fewer inches away from hers.

 

"You know, you make my heart go dugeun, dugeun all the time." Kai whispered. 

 

"And you know, you make my heart go dumdumdumdumdum." Kamin laughed softly as she tapped a finger on his broad chest according to the rhythm.

 

"Why not we try to make our hearts synchronized? As. One." Kai leaned forward, closing the last of the gap in between them.

 

Kamin moved on to the next section of the walls, her fingers touching everyone of them.These memories...she never got to keep any of them physically. It was all in her head and they were never recalled after baekhyun came into her life. There were new photos in her photo frames( she discarded all of her past ones) and new selcas that she would look at whenever she couldn't sleep and a new number she would call if she woke up from a bad dream. 

 

Kamin's gaze finally lingered at the last photo of the last of the four walls. A picture of an empty table. A table that she found so familiar. We broke up here. Recognition flashed in her eyes. The brick wall that she hid behind, hoping to give Kai a surprise yet being the one who got surprised in the very end, the carpet that was sure to have her teardrops soaked in it and the chair that she never sat on to enjoy a birthday dinner with Kai.

 

"I don't believe you. You were cheating on me?" Kamin searched his eyes,"then... Our dates on the beach and the amusement park meant nothing to you? Three years together and it meant nothing to you?"

 

"You are absolutely correct. I was toying with you since the very start." Kai replied, his eyes glinting. Kamin felt tears stinging her eyes. She couldn't believe him. He did love her. She could feel it. 

 

Kamin laughed suddenly as her mind spun. "I get it now. I get it now, Kai. You are joking right? Don't pretend. You hired that girl to act and stuff right? You are testing me, aren't you? Stop acting, I know you love me." 

 

Kai sighed,"oh Kamin. I don't. A rich guy like me, loves a girl like you? Uhh, I don't exactly think so. You know that girl who was with me just now? Her parents are rich too and we are rather a perfect match, don't you think? She is quite hot." 

 

Kamin clutched at Kai's sleeves,"don't lie." Her voice trembled,"you don't mean what you are saying." 

 

"I do. Kamin. Do I have to spell it out for you or something?" Kai shoved her hands off,"I. Don't. Love. You. I never did." His words were like daggers, perforating Kamin's heart. 

 

Kamin looked at the photo with eyes filled with a gamut of emotions. 3 years together and it ended like that. 

 

"I didn't want it to end like that." She turned around, hearing Kai speak. Kai sighed and he walked along the perimeter of the room.

 

"My father had established a fashion brand in Japan at that time. The fashion industry was doing so well that Appa had decided to emigrate there to run the business. I had to comply and obey him. It was the right thing to do, wasn't it? Helping your parents to run their business. I was a great son and here I am, as CEO of Kaura. But was I a good boyfriend?" 

 

Kai inhaled deeply. Kamin stood where she stood, listening silently, her back still facing Kai. 

 

"I never expected that taking over the family business would mean giving you up. But what else could I do? I wasn't going to make my girlfriend give up her own studies and career just to satisfy my selfish desires. But whatever it is, I broke your heart, Kamin and I am sorry." Kamin heard him cough. She knew he was genuine in his feelings but her heart seemed to be even more conflicted than before. Kai did not change for the better. Turns out he never changed since the very beginning.

 

"The funny thing is that," she heard him laugh," I broke mine in the process as well. When I came to Japan, I brought the Polaroids that documented our relationship history with me. I remember I would take them out of the box every night and look at them before shedding some tears I hoped never would be known to you. It's a routine. Look. Cry. Reflect. Sleep. I felt terrible for doing what I have done but you deserve to have your own future. You are smart, pretty and everything that a guy can ever ask for. You will find someone else. I was sure of that. So one day, when I decided it was finally time to let go, I tried to burn the photos. But staring at the flame, I just couldn't. And then I decided to paste them up in this very room and keep it locked until..." 

 

Kamin heard nothing but silence. 

 

"I discover that I still love you." 

 

Kamin turned around to come face to face with Kai. And the locked room is not locked anymore. 

 

"The room is unlocked and this is where I want to tell you that you were right that night. I never meant anything I said that night." Kai stopped suddenly as he took something out of his pocket. 

 

He took Kamin's hand and dropped something onto her palm.

 

Kamin took a look and gasped. "The necklace. After all this time...you still kept it?" Her heart leaped as she held the necklace up. It still seemed as pretty as ever. 

 

He nodded, his hands clasped behind his back. "Kamin ah." 

 

"Hmm?" Kamin met his eyes.

 

"I love you." Kai confessed,"I want to be with you. I know I hurt you in the past but can we...can you give us another chance?" 

 

Another chance with Kai? She glanced at Kai who was looking back at her. Kai...It was only because of the circumstance that we had to break up then. And if we did not break up, who knows... I might not even have gotten together with Baekhyun. Another chance would not hurt, right? 

 

But what about Baekhyun? A small voice inside her shouted. Kamin blocked it away.

 

Baekhyun and I are history. We...we never happened. Never. 

 

Kamin wrapped her arms around him as she shut her eyes in determination. 

 

"Okay." Kamin whispered as she faced the Polaroids. Let me embrace a new beginning.  Put the past behind me and let me forget him. 

 

"Kamin, thank you. " Kamin felt his arms tightening around her waist. 

 

No, thank you, Kai. Because you will make me happy again.