it's already 2 am and she's still awake.. she just lie on her back with both arms resting on her stomach..

Luhan glanced at her like every minute, and she was just staring at the blank ceiling like she is in her deep thoughts..

And he swear even if she's beside me, he can't stop but to think about her.. and he doesn't know why.

so he decided to call Ji eun in the thought of maybe he can make his mind more at peace when he talks to her. So that his mind won't be occupied by his creepy wife. And his plan worked... Ji eun did saved him from thinking about Hee Rin..

maybe because Ji eun is his true love.. while Hee Rin.. he doesn't know. Maybe she annoys him too much that he can't take her out of his mind? or maybe... He was just scared to admit that her name was already engraved in his mind, and maybe in heart as well.

YOU

I didn't sleep at all.

I don't know.. I just feel like something is wrong... something is not right..

I feel like I am not meant to be here.. sleeping.. with him.. in one bed.

and I can hear the voices of the freaks at school, including Luhan's ugly princess, they were all shouting through my mind..

"YOU'RE A !" they shouted.. and I can see their faces popping one by one as I was staring at this blank ceiling..

while Luhan would toss around every minute that is not helping to ease my mind ..

I know that he doesn't want me to be here with him, but can't he just pretend that I am not here? cause I will accept that whole heartedly.. than showing me that I am not the girl that he wants to spend the night with... cause it really hurts. And not only that... he also called Ji eun while I am just lying here beside him....

He didn't even know that I am now suffering from pain he's giving me. That feeling that I always wanted tp give him up and convince myself that I am just too stupid to love him. Everything he had done for me is nothing but pain and I don't know why I keep on loving him. 

I hate myself and I hate this heart of mine. I was too tired from loving him but if ever I had given a chance to do something about my heart.. I will surely crash it to the extent that it can't love him anymore. So that I won't feel this pain anymore cause it's just too painful that I want to