His welcome home wasn’t as welcoming as he had envisioned it being; that would be a lie. He hadn’t envisioned coming home after the first week, after he had stopped seeing the helicopters lift to the skies. He hadn’t planned to see his wife and children again after he had witnessed everyone around him begin to lose hope. He didn’t expect to ever feel the comforting warmth of a home, nor enjoy a cooked meal with family again, and thus he was thankful for the opportunity, the true gift of coming home being the expression that took both sons features.

“She sold everything…” Jiyong spoke softly after a long pause of silence “all without a word to anyone…” It was becoming obvious that Seung wasn’t the only one who was suffering while he was missing, the hoarse voice beside him only painting the bigger picture in a much darker shade than what he could collect. “I don’t understand how you can even stomach to look at me.”

“I don’t blame you for not stopping her” Seung spoke after recollecting his voice, clearing his throat to mask the pain “you wouldn’t have been able too, even if you figured out her plans.”

“I should have known… She kept saying you were alive… I thought she was crazy”

~*~ Jiyongs POV ~*~ Flashback ~*~

“You need to stop this!” He didn’t intend to yell at her, he never meant to hurt her further than what she already was, her heart already damaged beyond repair, no amount of support being enough to hold the organ in one piece. “He’s dead Abigail, and you’re only feeding false hope to those around you.”

He regretted those words the moment they left his lips, her eyes growing large and her coffee spilling from the coffee cup she was filling, forcing the liquid to stain the white counters. He could tell that he had broken the very last piece of strength she was holding, could see her shattering before his eyes, yet couldn’t even find his voice to offer her comfort. Grabbing the pot from her hand, he was alarmed at the angered eyes that fell within his direction, the picture of betrayal being clear without any words needed to support it.

“I’m just worried about you” he whispered, beginning to clean the spill that had taken to the floor, hoping she would understand. “I don’t understand why you keep waiting and hurting yourself…”

“That’s simple” she spoke softly, her hand working to rid of the mess, finally coming to her senses “it’s because he’s asking me to wait. He’s telling me to stay strong. Do you know what scares me most?” She asked, pulling his attention completely, this being the first time she spoke about the situation, opposed to how quiet she got when the conversation was pressed.

“Tell me” he spoke what littles words he could find, watching her carefully, physically watching the strength reenter her.

“I’m scared that if the world moves on without him, and we simply move on while he is away… What would he have to come home too? What would he have fought so hard to stay alive for? He would come home only to suffer more than what he had been doing. He would come home to see that he wasn’t needed, and that his sacrifices would have been for nothing.” She began softly, finishing the mess and letting out a soft breath.

“I’m afraid that when he comes home, life would have moved on and he would be forgotten, unneeded in the life that evolved. I’m afraid that he is suffering every night for one more glimpse of daylight, and we can only think of moving on. I’m afraid that the people he fights to come home too, won’t be waiting for him when he returns, and everything would be for nothing. That’s what scares me the most…”

“Abi… He’s not…”

“He’s alive” she interrupted harshly, slamming the coffee mug against the counter before heading towards the front door and opening it harshly “and you can get the out if you don’t believe me.”

It was clear, it wasn’t a question anymore, she was kicking him out and something about the gesture only brought forth more anger. He couldn’t stand watching her dissolve once again over a man who wasn’t worth her heart. Couldn’t stand watching her beauty rot away while he stood silently at her side, couldn’t stand that she couldn’t see him in a light that shined brighter than Seung’s. He was dead, he wasn’t going to come home, and yet she still hoped for something that would never come.

“I see” Jiyong spoke in disgust as he walked towards the door, his eyes never leaving the angered ones that casted back at him. “You’re only making things worse, you can call me when you wake up from the dream you are living in” he whispered harshly before leaving, never being able to forget the words that she spoke back.

“He’s alive, and I’ll find him if I have too. He’s asking me to wait, and I’d do anything for him. I’m sorry, I don’t think I will be calling you again.”

~*~ Present day Jiyong’s POV ~*~

“She told me… I didn’t listen…” His eyes grew tighter as he fought back the tears that threatened him, his sobbing becoming heavier as he hid his face.

He felt guiltier now than he ever had the entire time, felt worthless in the presence of the man he thought he’d never see again, and the woman who he doubted for the last couple of months. He should have held more faith in her words, and now her words haunted him and would probably do so for the rest of his life. He knew she left the day he saw the house was sold, the day everything that belonged to her was suddenly gone within an instant. He tried to find her… tried to call her… Yet deep down he knew, he would never be considered her friend again. He was worthless in her life, even after death.

“She’ll forgive you” Seung spoke softly, a soft breath weaving between dried and cracked lips “she’s not the type to hold grudges so easily…”

Yet he didn’t understand the harsh words that were spoken towards her, the false hope he tried to lay on her shoulders. He didn’t understand how Abigail fought relentlessly with all of her strength, while he, his best friend, lost courage within the battle. Seung couldn’t hope to understand the suffering that he and Abi had endured during his disappearance, didn’t have to see the swollen eyes and relentless tears. He wasn’t there to see them, he only knew what was being spoken, the emotions of living through them being much harsher of a reality.

“I really, don’t deserve forgiveness” he admitted, wishing that he was just the slightest bit stronger to have been able to fight beside her, not to watch helplessly from the sidelines as her life was being stolen from her. Mentally before, and now physically.