(( This chapter broke my heart to write. Hope you guys enjoy, and thank you so much for all the support and comments. You guys rock!!!! Thank you so much! ))

~*~ His POV ~*~

His anger had left him with only pain and agony as he knocked on her door once again, not surprised when she still didn’t answer the door. He knew she was angry with him, knew that he shouldn’t have been so harsh, however his anger was always a downfall in his life. He didn’t mean what he had said, yet she wouldn’t even allow him a chance to apologize, and that’s when reality had him like a harsh and stinging slap to the face.

She didn’t once fight him when he had broken his communication with her, in fact she was more than willing to let him go. She never once texted him to tempt him over, in fact she had been silent since the day he ended their affairs. She even wished to meet the girl who had tamed his heart, of course she meant it as a joke, but the smile on her lips when she spoke it was genuine and caring. Obviously, she was happy for him that he settled down on one girl, she didn’t care that he didn’t love her, for she didn’t love him.

“Eun, please answer the door” he was desperate, and funny that when he felt desperate, he could remember her name clearly. “We need to talk about this.”

“Why so you can insult me more!?” Her voice spoke behind a closed door, and it didn’t surprise him that she had been there the whole time, he deserved nothing more.

“I’m sorry” he spoke sincerely and was surprised when the door opened, even more alarmed when looking up in order to stare into wet brown eyes

and hardly brushed out blonde hair. She looked just as rough as he did, just as scared, just as desperate, and for a minute he couldn’t find his words. “Have you gone to the doctor’s?”

It was funny how fickle emotions were and how quickly they came and went without a warning sign. He had planned on questioning her motives however when she had finally revealed herself to him, he felt defeated and concerned, angry and lost. He didn’t know how to feel, and judging from the soft sobs that left her lips and the tears that continued to stain her face, she clearly felt just the same and he felt horrible for it as she shook her head, obviously scared and clueless on what to do.

“Let’s go the doctor’s” he spoke softly as she nodded and went back into the house, leaving him to catch his breath a moment, pondering what he should do next.

He knew that he would have to inform his mother, it would be her first grandchild after all. Knew that he would have to face the press eventually, but as all news, it would fade away eventually. However his heart ached when he thought of the next person he would have to tell the news too, for he also knew that it was the one person who probably couldn’t bare to hear them. The one person whom he was actually concerned about how she would feel.

“Are you ready?” Eun pulled his attention as he nodded and walked towards the car, opening the door for her before getting in himself and starting the drive.

He could see that she was nervous as her eyes stayed locked on the window instead of messing with the buttons in his car like she normally would.

He could see the sadness in her smile as his hand reached for her, her fingers lifelessly etching into his hand. He could hear her dreams crushing as she looked away once more, obviously hiding her tears from his view, probably figuring he didn’t wish to see them.

“Hey” he whispered softly as he stopped at a red light, her eyes falling back towards him as she tried to smile once more. “Don’t cry…” he couldn’t stand the guilt that was lining him, knowing that it was just as much his fault now, and regretting not being able to see it earlier. “Please don’t cry..” yet he felt himself was on the verge of tears and he couldn’t decipher where they had suddenly appeared from, he was just oddly aware of them.

“What are we going to do Oppa?” She spoke instead, more tears lining her face and it brought a new level of pressure to him as he began to drive once more, thinking of the right words yet they were scattered leaving his lips to part with nothing of comfort.

“I don’t know…”

~*~*~*~

“Make sure you call me if you need me” he didn’t wish to leave her side, considering she still didn’t seem convinced that he was going to help her through this. “I’ll answer” he reassured her as she nodded a few times, looking towards the vitamins that she had been told to take by the doctor.

“Are you mad at me?” Her question shot fire at his heart as he took in a soft settle breath, shaking his head slightly as he ran his hand through his hair.

“It’s my fault too” he explained softly “I know I acted like a child earlier, and I can’t apologize enough for it. You know I’m not that kind of man” his voice was slightly shaken as though the words were hard for him to speak. “Anyways, make sure you take your medicine and get a lot of rest. I’ll be by in a few days to check on you but if you need anything in the meantime… Please call me.”

“I will” she smiled as though reassured which brought a smile towards his lips before he turned to leave, finally allowing his thoughts to gather within his head.

He knew that children were rough, yet he was also told by several friends that you learn a lot from them and thus he wasn’t worried much about being unprepared. He had money, so the child would be provided for, and would certainly be supported in every aspect of life. His time was costly, but he would ensure to make time to come home…. That’s when reality would hit him as his eyes widened and his heart sank into his chest. Would he being going home to see his child? Or would he be forced to watch from the sidelines?

His fingers would grip tighter on the steering wheel as many questions ran through his mind, all of them concluding to the thought of marriage. It wasn’t right of him to leave Eun alone in her time of needing him, where she had never left him in his times of need. She always answered her phone for him, always made time to sneak into his apartment, and despite how cruel he was towards her some nights, she would always leave with a smile, despite the small action being meaningless before.

“Abi... “ blue eyes haunted his thoughts as his fingers tightened impossibly tighter around the leathering exterior. “Don’t hate me..” he whispered to the nothingness around him, yet his mind would speak back the words he dreaded. ‘She’s going to leave you… You can’t have both… How selfish can you be?.. She’ll find you disgusting…’

He couldn’t handle his silent thoughts as he placed the car in drive and began down the roads, ignoring the speed limit. He needed a place to escape, and he always relied heavily on one building to numb him, to take away his pain if only for a short moment. He headed towards the bar, and drank until he could feel nothing around him, losing his mind in the process.

~*~*~*~

He was alarmed when waking up to the fading scent of cinnamon, and it didn’t require him to open his eyes to know exactly where his mind had taken him last night. He was however stunned when finding himself in only his boxers as he sat himself up, his hands desperately reaching around the bed in order to find his clothes. He was stumped when seeing a hangover remedy on the dresser, his clothes neatly pressed and hung on the back of the chair, something he wasn’t used to waking up towards.

Not bother to get himself dressed, he wasn’t sure what to expect when opening the bedroom door, his eyes slowly scanning the apartment until finding a sleeping figure on the couch. Allowing his eyes to roam towards the watch on his wrist, he was confused when seeing it was merely three in the morning. Starting his way towards the living room, he would stay silent as he stared at her sleeping figure, soaking in her beauty while he still had it around to admire.

“Abi..” he whispered softly which caused blue orbs to flutter to an open, confusion taking her features as she stared at him a moment before sitting herself up.

She was still dressed in day clothes, her jeans hugging at her legs and the blouse she wore stretched and scrounged every which way. It made his heart break further, for he was certain that he was at fault for her uncomfortable sleeping attire. He always managed to make things worse, always managed to hurt those who got close to him. He was truly an awful being, or so his mind would make him feel.

“How are you feeling?” She asked, wiping away the sleep that still threatened at her eyes, patting on the seat beside her, in which he gladly accepted, surprised that anger wasn’t represented but more so concern, which made him ponder what actions he had portrayed last night, what words he allowed to slip that were forgotten.

“I’m better” he decided not to lie, for he didn’t know what state he had been in when he finally managed to somehow make his ways towards her.

“Are you okay?” He asked instead, a soft smile taking her lips as she leaned onto him, yet he noticed that her arms didn’t bother to wrap around his waist.

“I’m fine” she spoke calmly as a yawn pushed past her lips “tired. Let’s go back to sleep okay?” Her whispers were soft, as though she didn’t have enough energy to voice what she wanted to say, and he could only ponder what hidden knowledge rested within her, yet he couldn’t find it in him to

reject her simple request as he nodded and stood himself up, reaching his hand towards her in order to bring her back with him.

“I’m gonna stay here for the night okay?” Her tone gained some voice towards it, and though he was hurt by the words, he could only nod at her.

“You sleep in the bed, I’ll sleep here” he insisted but she would shake her head in refusal as she laid herself back down and pulled the covers back over her body. “Abi” he spoke in a defeated voice, knowing well that he must have said something to push her away “please.”

He expected to be rejected once again as her eyes opened once more to look towards him, the silence between them stating so much yet not enough as he stared back, pondering what thoughts were being left unsaid. He wondered how much he allowed to slip his mind last night, what words he may have said to cause her to look at him so oddly, but knew better than to speak on them. He wanted to tell her everything, wanted to get the guilt off of his chest, but for now he wanted to see her sincere smile, the one that made his heart race, that made him feel as though everything would be okay in his life, the one in which he fell in love with instantly and the one that may never come his way again.

“Let’s sleep in the bedroom” she spoke after a long while as she stood herself up and gathered the covers from around her, heading towards the bedroom and stopping when discovering that he wasn’t following her any longer.

“Okay…” he followed her despite knowing it would only make things harder when reality would hit, yet he was selfish and wanted to hold her one last time. Laying down, his eyes would stare at her as she cuddled into herself, hating that she didn’t come to him, that her arms wrapped around a pillow instead. “Abi” he whispered softly, her eyes opening to stare at him, staring into his eyes for what may possibly be the last time he would ever be able to feel this close to her.

“Hmm?” She questioned after a long stretch of silence, her eyes widening when he pulled her closer to him, his lips going to capture hers one last time, but he could tell that it was already too late to gain one last kiss, for she quickly looked away, and his lips landed instead on her cheek.

“Goodnight” she whispered softly, turning her back towards him and he couldn’t be anymore aware of the tears that threatened to pour from his eyes as his fingers instead clutched into the bedsheets, knowing he told her everything, and that everything was different now. He lost her a moment too soon, and he would always be left with the an agonizing question.

‘What if?’

(I do not own the gif. Credit to rightful owner!)