“Thanks for coming back shortly” you were alarmed when seeing Seung sitting on your apartment steps when you came back from Jae’s house, your mood being lightened until seeing him there.

“I’m sorry” his whisper was barely audible which forced you to draw closer, allowing your eyes to sketch out the smaller details.

His eyes had bags under them which indicated his lack of sleep, and upon drawing closer, you could smell the alcohol that alluded from his person. In a sense, it made you feel angried for you had spent the entire day wondering where he had been, and he had spent it mindlessly drinking. It was enough to give you strength to push past him, not bothering to sooth his obvious disturbed state, no matter how much you yearned to see him smile towards you.

“Abi please” his voice sounded broken as he stood himself, wrapping his arms around your waist and allowing his head to fall towards your shoulder, being enough to freeze the time.

Something wet slid down your neck and onto your shoulder, and his breath was heavy on your neck, and you could tell that he was crying. You pondered many possibilities in your head, however your kind heart was to accepting as you turned yourself around and wrapped your arms around his waist, reaching up to place his head on your shoulder once more. There he cried out the last of his tears as his fingers dug into your sides, as though desperate to hold onto you.

“We were really behind because of you” you spoke softly as you dipped the rag into the warm waters before bringing it towards his face and wiping away the drunk look that took his features. “Do you know how much trouble you are in?” You continued to speak about anything to keep the room from falling silent, his red eyes staring at you the entire time you pampered him. “Where have you been all day?” You asked the one question you were desperate to hear, yet he remained silent, his eyes continued to stare as though lost in deep thought.

‘What happened to you…’ the thought was silent as a sigh left your lips, removing the cloth from his face and instead pushing him onto the bed and forcing him to lie down. He was like a puppet as you ed his shirt, carefully removing the fabric that was laced heavily with alcohol and body fluids, Seung not bothering to help in the slightest. You worked on his pants next, slipping the jeans off and leaving him in his boxers in order to allow him to feel comfortable.

“Don’t leave me” he whispered as you went to leave the room, his clothes in your hand as you prepared to wash them. “Please don’t leave me…”

“I have to clean your clothes” you reassured him as you left the room and placed them within the washer, your mind going towards assumptions and scenarios that could have possibly happened today.

You thought about him already cheating before officially asking you out, yet the lack of perfume on his clothes would deter the scale. Your mind could only come up with the female titled babes on his phone, and the way she was reluctantly calling him. Heading towards the kitchen, you were stunned when seeing him slouched upon the wall outside of the bedroom, clearly in search for you yet his body wouldn’t be sober enough to actually carry him.

“I can’t deal with you right now” you spoke harshly as you walked towards him, not surprised when he reached to wrap his arms around you, forcing you to struggle while supporting his weight. You realized now, that he didn't wish to be alone, that whatever was bothering him was much larger than you had orginally predicted.

“I love you, I sincerely love you” normally the words would make your heart melt, but they meant nothing while he was a mess like this, your legs stumbling as you fought his weight in order to bring him back towards the bed, noting his body was extremely hot to the touch.

“Not now Seung” you whispered harshly, and it only made his arms tighten around you, forcing you towards the floor.

“Abi” he whispered softly as you pulled yourself from under him and stood yourself back up, trying your best to keep your anger. “You’re going to hate me…”  you were alarmed when turning and seeing his tears once again, struggling to pick himself up from the floor, his arms reaching out for you yet he would fall every time he even drew close.

“I’m here” you whispered softly as you kneeled upon the floor and crawled towards his reach, wrapping your arms around his shoulders this time and allowing him to bury his head within the crook of your neck. “I’m here, but you can’t keep me in the dark. You have to talk to me” your whispers were soothing as his arms quickly wrapped around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer towards him, his tears soaking your shirt.

“You’ll leave me” he sobbed heavier, and though you wished to promise that you wouldn’t, you also couldn’t say the words without really meaning them, for you weren’t sure what secrets were locked within him, or if you could handle the dark roots of his past. “I can’t leave you…” he continued to sob despite the attempts of calming him.

“I’ll stay in your life” you could promise him that, you would stay in his life despite what obstacles may charge in your path, you just couldn’t promise that you would love him the same, though that silent thought wouldn’t be voiced.

“She’s.. She’s…” You could tell that he was honestly trying to speak the words, for his tears grew heavier and his breathing was much more hitched, his arms wrapping tighter around your frame as though terrified that should he loosened his grip, you’d be gone forever.

“She’s what?” You asked softly, pulling his head from your neck and forcing him to look towards you, his eyes painfully swollen to the point that you felt almost sorry. “Seung, you have to talk to me” you continued to keep your voice level, trying your hardest to sooth whatever was bothering him so dramatically.

“And I said horrible things to her…” he spoke instead which made your confusion ten times stronger yet you continued to comfort him. “I didn’t mean them…” he spoke softly, and you couldn’t tell if he was more hurt from what she had done, or what he had said, for his words were jumbled together and his emotions and thoughts were like loose cannons. “I’m not ready to be a father” his last words were a harsh reality that made your eyes widen, yet you knew you had to be strong for him. Personal feelings and questions would come last.

“Okay okay” you soothed, allowing his head to rest back on your shoulder, his sobs continuing and he became a drunken mess, and you could only ponder the possibilities of the conversation they had. “Let’s go to sleep okay?” You whispered softly, alarmed when he nodded and began trying to stand himself up, able to do so with a little bit of help.

“I’m horrible” he sobbed as you finally managed to lay him down onto the bed, ignoring the growing curiosity that was eating at your mind.

You would guess that she must have informed him of pregnancy, however you would be hesitant to assume what he had said, for it obviously left a larger impact than the situation itself. You stayed silent however, refusing to give the questions a voice that would only make the situation you were in much worse. He was obviously devastated, and it mattered not what happened, what mattered now was that he was safe, and that he sobered up. Placing yet another warm cloth to his head, you were alarmed at how quickly he fell asleep, showing just how truly sleep deprived he must have been.

“You’re not horrible” you whispered to his sleeping form as you picked up the rest of the mess he left, walking towards the washing room and changing over the clothes, the reality of the situation finally drawing onto your mind.

As you already predicted, he was out of your league and to much to handle. ‘I can’t leave you..’ his words echoed through your head as the tears finally stopped trying to escape and your emotions softly settled.

“I never truly had you” you whispered into the night “and you never truly had me. We leave nothing behind…” yet your heart screamed opposite, your mind was stronger.