“I already miss him…” Her voice seemed so distant to even herself as her eyes followed the boys along the playground.

“You’re going too, it’s only normal” Eun answered with a saddened smile, understanding fully what Abigail was going through, especially with the war that kept being brought up in the news. “Just keep yourself busy and before you know it, he’ll be home already…”

“I know” Abigail smiled brightly, despite the ache she felt within her chest, knowing that misery was only going to draw out the two years she was forced to be alone. “I survived the first week, so I got this!”

“You strong girl!” Eun exclaimed with just as much excitement, knowing she would have her hands full with Abigail and the boys, them depending on her heavily for support.

~*~ 1 Month ~*~

“I feel sick” Abigail spoke as she stood herself from the table, hurrying towards the bathroom, no longer wishing to watch the news role out, knowing it only brought more disappointment and fear within her heart. She couldn’t stand that she hasn’t heard from him, couldn’t stand that soldiers had began deploying, and worse was that she couldn’t even stomach to look at the deployed list.

“Abi… You okay?” jiyong’s voice sounded from outside of the bathroom, yet she couldn’t voice an answer, it was to painful to even breathe, and she was becoming selfish with the oxygen she inhaled.

“Mommy, we are worried” Sang-Ho’s voice broke her silence as she shouted a yes, picking herself back up and wiping away the tears that claimed her face. Putting on her best smile, she would leave the room and continue with the dinner, her plate barely being touched despite how hungry she was previously.

Only 23 more months of this… right?

~*~ 5 Months ~*~

“Hey beautiful” she was awoken to a familiar voice, her eyes immediately prying open to stare at the man she had longed to hold for so long now. She was no longer rational as she pulled herself from bed, her arms wrapping tightly around his frame, his arms quick to lock around her waist. The silence spoke a thousand words that night as she nuzzled into his neck, filling her lungs of the scent she felt that she was beginning to forget.

“Jagiya” she spoke softly, as though terrified that her voice would send him away once again, the tears she had been holding back now slipping past the guard she brought forth. “I was so worried about you… I didn’t hear from you” she admitted in-between sobs, his hand soothing at her back as his embrace held her stronger.

She could feel that his muscles had grown, that the military did good for his body, but she didn’t care about his physical appeal. She loved what lingered within him, the heart that she ached to hear the beat off, the voice she fell asleep to every night. Nothing in this world could compare to how she felt with him, and she was thankful for the chance to hold him once more, if only for a short while.

“I’m sorry baby, training wouldn’t let us call” he admitted, and it only caused her to stiffen within his arms.

“You’re not getting deployed, are you?” She whispered, alarmed when his body grew tense under her, giving her the answer before he could even think to speak it. “Is that why you are home? Because they are sending you?” She asked, trying to hold herself together for him, yet her world was shattering and the only thing keeping her afloat was the strong arms that held her up.

“Let’s have some breakfast” he avoided the questions, and it only made the answers more visible as she pulled away and nodded, knowing it was probably just as hard for him.

~*~*~

“Daddy!!” Two boys spoke in unison as they entered the large kitchen, their arms outstretching for their father and his smile quick to return to his lips.

Even though the scene was real and right before her eyes, she felt as though she was outside of the picture, her eyes staying locked on the man who would soon be heading into war. She pondered how fair it was, to take a father away from his children and his wife, and selfishly she wished it was someone else who was going. It was outside of her character, something she would never wish on anyone and yet she found herself desperately wishing for it, her heart shattering at how much she had changed when faced with something so difficult.

‘It’s only for six months’ he explained yet it did nothing to settle the pain that lined her entire chest, her hand subconsciously falling towards the shattering organ. ‘I’ll be home before you know it, and I’ll have the letters in hand’ he promised, yet those letters became worthless if she couldn’t see him again. ‘You’re a strong woman, you will be fine for the time’ he tried to encourage her, yet she remained lifeless, watching from the outside looking in instead of through her own eyes.

Only when her lips were captured did she blink a few times and come back too, her eyes falling accusingly towards her husband, his smile being bitter sweet. She wanted to cry, wanted to break down but she knew that she couldn’t as she returned the broken smile and wrapped her arms around his frame. Ignoring the protest from the boys at the table, her head would rest on his shoulder, breathing in every breath she had left with him.

“Please come home to me… I need you” She admitted, the tears she fought so hard to contain escaping her and she couldn’t hold them any longer, she was breaking, and he needed to know it. She needed him in her life, and her tears weren’t proof enough of her need for him.

“I’ll be home” he spoke with confidence, kissing her forehead one last time before returning his attention towards the boys, knowing this was his last day with them before he would be put into battle, and his chance of seeing them again were becoming slim.

~*~ 9 Months ~*~ 3 Months of Deployment ~*~

For living in a secluded area with only a few neighbors to keep her company, she had noticed the increasing amount of cars that took the streets. They were black and professional looking, her eyes staying locked on the window as yet another car pulled up to her neighbors. Her husband was currently deployed as well, however the couple always stuck to themselves, not really open to having company, hence why Abigail could only offer baking sweet’s for the lonely woman.

Two soldiers came from the car, pulling their hats from their heads and knocking on the door, and she could no longer stand to watch the scene. She knew they weren’t there for her, yet her heart shattered and fell across the floor, some of the pieces being forever lost and never being able to be pieced back together. Shaking hands would grab for her phone, dialing in the only number she knew would come, the only number she felt she could remember.

“Jiyong…” her voice was shaking and she couldn’t produce the rest of the words she had thought of.

“I’m on my way okay, stay calm” Ji responded without question, staying on the phone and offering short words but it did nothing to comfort the reality of the situation.