Story: If Only... (Revised) 

Author: phamtom_knight

Title 5/5

If Only...

A not very seen title. It certainly fits well with the story as it expresses about someone's regret.

Appearance 4/5

Did you make the poster yourself? It expresses the regret feeling well but it lacks in the two best friends feel.

Description and Foreword 5/10

"A typical love story... A friend falling in love with her best friend"

Why did you divulge the plot for the readers? When readers read that, it will have a get bored effect and readers might choose not  to read your fanfic. Please do take note of that. Foreword is okay.

The English 28/35

You've kind of mixed present tense and past tense together.

Here is one of example:

-Yunho lend me his hand and helped me stand up -> The stand should be stood because you wrote lend and helped in the past tense and the other verb should be also in past tense.

-As my stubborn self, rested on the ground -> there is not a need of coma there.

I suggest you to write on Ms. Word first or get a beta reader if you haven't to prevent these kinds of mistakes.

Plot 13/20

Very very common plot. The only thing is, you've made it real. I really enjoyed it when I am reading, it is like I really am experiencing it.

Arrangement 30/30

Arranged it well.

Originality 7/10

Plot is very common. You twisted it very realistic, it was expressed great.

Viewer's comment 4/5

I discovered there is one who think that the story is old, deducted a point. Most readers liked it and they commented professionally, less fanfics are seen to be commented like that. Good.

Overall 96/120

Reviewer's note: You left the ending hanging. Are you making a sequel? Please do. I am sorry if some of my words hurt you and the review took so long but all of I said are pure honesty, thank you for choosing me to review your fanfic. Hope this helped. 

An author has to influence his/her readers to grasp the emotions of the characters portrayed

         -jokerkkhe22

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