Male OC One-Shot Collection - IceDragonHikari (Reviewer: Bluapple)
** Starlight Review Shop ** [CLOSED]
Title: Male OC One-Shot Collection
Author: IceDragonHikari
Story Title: 2/5
Comment:
Common for your title. Directly to the point and it’s like a collection of one shot. I knew from the start that it will be like literally one-shot directory or anything same like that, and my instincts didn’t disappoint me, so yeah.
Poster/Banner: 0/0
Comment:
No poster~
Description/Foreword: 7/10
Comment:
No FOREWORD.
But your Description is fine.. Although it’s short.
Chapter Titles: 3/5
Comment:
It’s one shots and because of that it literally means that every chapter would have different titles, it’s fine because the more I read your fanfics, it’s great and your story titles fits your stories, BUT you need to work on your spacing when your typing your stories.
Storyline: 13/20
Comment:
It was one shot and yeah every story has different plots, though all of them were too common, I loved the other stories while I hate the others. The others were cute and can make you giddy but the other s and others can piss you and bore you.
Grammar/Spelling: 11/20
Comment:
From chapter 1:
"Damn it! Why does confessing have to be so freaking’ hard? It looks so easy on those stupid soap opera's.operas"
Wrong usage of apostrophe.
"H-Hi Sungyeol-shi...um. Nothing...just enjoying the sunshine. Gotta love that vitamin C D!"
It should be vitamin D.
From chapter 2:
"Yup he she does! Go ahead ____-ah,tell him!" She nudged you,and winked while you glared at her.
Chapter 3:
What the hell is that? Is HE a BOY? Because He keeps on calling Minho “Hyung” I’m confused.
Chapter 4:
"Whoa sorry. Um...I'm your new neighbor,Park Yoochun, a lot lots of people call me Mickey though. Nice to meet you!"
And even this chapter. Is this ?
Chapter 5:
Siwon saw you again today. He watched as a gorgeous gorgeous raven haired boy, with pretty doe brown eyes and a body not to slim, or fat talking with a student he was familiar with Jung Yunho. He gulped a little, when the gorgeous gorgeous raven haired boy waved good bye to Yunho, and walked away from him.
Keep an eye on your spacing, and you keep on using that ‘doe brown eyes’. I’m shocked that this was a too.
Chapter 6:
"Of course you can! Anything for a cute fan like yourself you."
This story is cute~
CHAPTER 8-9:
again =.=”
Chapter 10:
That story bores the hell outta me.
Sorry for the rude words it’s for your benefits in the future.
Originality: 7/10
Comment:
Your other stories were common as I’ve said earlier, the others were not. It might be boring but it’s original.
Flow: 9/10
Comment:
None. And there is nothing like spoilers or something like that. But your spacing is playing with my eyes.
Characters: 6/10
Comment:
You didn’t point there characteristics well, and most of them doesn’t fit their characters. I just can imagine Kangin being gay, or even Siwon.
Style of Writing: 4/5
Comment:
It has some problems with your spacing. GOD I keep on repeating this.
BONUS: 3/5
I hate s but your stories were good so it’s fine! Keep up the good work! :D
*Just finished working on your one-shots ICEDRAGONHIKARI sorry if I only finished it now. Thanks for requesting on **Starlight Review Shop** I’m looking forward on your next one shots! Your Jjang.
p.s
If there is any problems, Pm me.
Sincerely yours,
Bluapple ♥
Total: 65 /100
*It’s only out of 100 due to the poster. I didn’t include it.
Thanks for requesting. Please comment above after picking it up and don't forget to credit :)
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