Title: Kyuwook's Vampire Story 

Author:  kyuwookluver 

Title 3/5

Well, the title does not appeal. It is a bit plain, but did have connections with the story. 

Appearance 2/5

The poster does not look like a vampire story for me. Its not poorly done but the essence of the story is not given out in the poster. It did give off a scray feel. 

Description and Foreword 10/10

Finally, a decent description and foreword! You did well on it, but you could just spare the colour.

The English 28/35

Overall is good. Kudos to you. 

Mistakes:

"around... 10? 11? I guess. But none of them we're serious" - were. we're is the abbreviation for we are.

goanna - I suppose you're trying to type gonna isn't it?

Kyuhyun POV and Ryeowook POV - Kyuhyun's POV or Reyowook's POV. I've seen many others did like you and I think its wrong. It should be a noun in the form of ownership. So after the last letter of the name must be added 's to show ownership. In short, you are trying to imply a POV of Ryeowook or Kyuhyun's. 

He explaines - explains

"I couldn't. Your family might here us talking to each other" - Hear

Please change 'cause into because. That one 'cause ruined your fanfic, it ruined the whole feeling, its like reading a text message than a fanfic, one word can ruin a reader's mood. Even though its fic but it would be better to take it as a real story published as a book.   

Plot 18/20

Vampires falling for a human is common but I love how you include the swans! And those twists! But I think the flow's too fast.

Arrangement and Writing Style 23/30

I don't think you need to write these: 

Title: Kyuwook’s Vampire Story

Pairing: Kyuwook, Yemin , Eunhae, Kangteuk, Hanchul

Rating: PG-13

Genre: AU, Fluff, Angst

Summary: Kim Ryeowook, a normal, ordinary student of Seoul University of Music and Arts, wants nothing more than to just graduate and go on with his life. He felt like, he had nothing to do in his life. Nothing to live for. All of that changed when he met Cho Kyuhyun. A normal student like him. Or is he?

Disclaimer: This is a fanfic. It isn’t real. That’s the whole point of the word “fic” in FANFIC. ‘Cause it ain’t real. And I don’t own anything except the story and my imagination.

On every chapter. Writing those on the foreword will suffice. One more, the colours, just use black.

Originality 7/10

Plot seemes everywhere but you made a smart move including the swans. I gives off more fantasy.

Enjoyment 5/5

I totally enjoyed! Even though I don't know SuJu but you don't confuse me at all! I can really grasp the two's feeling.

Overall 86/100

Sorry for the late review! Forgive me for being harsh.

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