Letting go and moving on is two different things. To let go is to drop and go on, while moving on is to just move on, holding onto those memories-- either to be haunted by it or learn from it. Maybe thats just for me, but i choose to do both. To drop the memories and to learn from it.

The meeting ended in a peaceful manner, Mr. Lee and Dad decided to be civil towards each other. Oppa and i immediately stood up when the meeting ended for Dad and Mr. Lee called our name and immediately made us follow them. I looked at Oppa for a moment but then it was a nanosecond that i didn't have time to give any reaction and him the same. So i ran towards Dad and didnt look back to Oppa. Dad went to his office and he sat in the chair.

"I still cant believe Jonghyun can do this." His voice was sad, really sad. Disappointed and regret can be felt in Dad's voice. I lowered my head. I have nothing to say. Dad looked at me.

"Seungyeonnie, i might be busy while working, so learn and observe while i work okay? It will help you a lot. Also, familiarize yourself with the grounds and the staff, they'll be a big help to you." Dad said and i nodded. Then my phone vibrated, when i looked at it my heart skipped a beat, my eyes grew big. Dad noticed my reaction. "What is it? Is there something wrong ?" He asked.

"No, dad just -- just something came up. Can i be excused for a while ?" I asked. He nodded and i immediately went out of Dad's office, i immediately ran to the comfort room and locked myself in a cubicle and read the message.

"Seungyeon, i'll be waiting on the garden behind the kitchen. Be sure to wear your coat, its a bit cold. I got your favorite drink, hope it wont get cold." Why do i feel like crying yet i want to smile ? His words, his kind words yet it hurts me. What do i do ?

Go to him.
My heart tells me, actually my mind, soul and heart tells me to go to him, just like gravity, pulling me towards him. I decided already, that i wont hate him because i cant. So i will do this for myself, to be able to break free from this pain, to be able to let go and move on. So i took a deep breathe, just like the night everything changed for me, its the same as today. Whatever might happen with him, there will always be change... As i went out of the cubicle and looked at myself in the mirror, i exhaled and calmed myself. I went to the garden.

Walking towards the garden, i was thinking how strong of a woman i have become, to be able to face what hurts me and not run from it makes me feel a little bit happy, knowing that through these obstacles, i gave gained something. As i went through the kitchen to the garden, my heart was beating fast, mg hands were trembling and there were butterflies in my stomach and then ---

There he was, standing with his back to me, as the sun shines and his hair slightly swaying with the winter air, he was as always perfect. He heard my footsteps and he turned around, he slightly smiled-- a faint dimple showed and oh how i missed his smile and dimples, his cute laugh and touch. My heart ached. He walked towards me as he handed me my hot drink, as i said thank you and reached for the cup, our skin slightly touched and just like always, just like the first meeting i was electrocuted, something twisted on my stomach. I know he felt it too, as he looked at me in the eye and i saw longing and i got confused.

"Hi." My knees went weak as i heard his voice, his velvety voice that makes me remember flowers.

"H--hi" i looked away from his face. He gestured towards the swing that Krystal and i sat in. We sat and there was silence for a moment as i took a sip on my drink.

"Im sorry." I looked at him, he was looking at his drink. He continued. "Its all my fault i know and i would say sorry again and again for a lifetime if thats what it takes for you to forgive me." He looked at me and again, his eyes looked so sad that i cant bear to see.

"Why are you like this ?" His eyes grew, confused. " why are you saying sorry for something that your heart wanted ? You wanted your father to acknowledge you right ? You did what your heart told you, why would you say sorry for following your heart ?" I have realized that he shouldn't feel guilty over something that his heart was yearning for, even if it hurt me and my family, he was just doing what his heart wanted so who can blame him ? His face was confused but then turned into something like lost and sad.

"You always surprise me Seungyeon ah. I was waiting for you to slap me, or shout at me. I was even thinking that you wont come here to listen to what i have to say-- you always surprise me and it hurts me more... Knowing that i have hurt a very good hearted person and i can die again and again and still wont be worthy of you." He was playing with his drink while looking at it. The atmosphere between us was getting depressing, as if we are both at dead ends and both wont move on. He must be blaming himself to say sorry like this.

"I have never hated you, i told you that. I have always loved you, i also told you that. Theres nothing to forgive because i dont blame you for anything, how can i blame your heart when i know that it is a good heart ?" My tears are welling but i swallowed it back. "I have made a decision for myself oppa." He looked at me as i said oppa and he slightly smiled. "I'd like to just focus on making everything right. Jungyeon suffered a lot but she was the one pushing me. Dad has a long way to go from getting back to normal but i keep on praying that he'll be back to who my father was. And you, i want you to keep on doing what your heart wants, because its the only thing that i would want you to do, to never say sorry for what your heart wants." He was looking at me and for a short moment our eyes locked. I was fighting my tears then he suddenly stood up and kneeled in front of me, held my hands and then my face. I leaned into his touch as i closed my eyes.

"I really don't deserve you but my heart tells me that i would die if i see you in somebody else's arms. I love you so much that when i left you, i convinced myself to be happy with my father but i realized that it wasn't real happiness. I can still remember how you felt in my arms and how it felt good." I still have my eyes closed as i listen to his words. Tears have escaped my eyes and he was wiping it. "I will do my best to make everything right Seungyeon ah. To make things right for you, for everyone. To straighten what i bended, because i have finally found what my heart was looking for. And its you my love, you have always been what my heart was looking for and now that i have found you, all i want is for you to be happy." I opened my eyes and as i saw his face, his beautiful brown eyes, chiseled nose and soft red lips, i caressed his face and as he leaned to my touch he kissed my hand. Still kneeling in front of me, the gravity was pulling us together, the universe making everything right for us.

My heart was beating, his face was inching closer, i closed my eyes and felt his presence getting closer, i felt his breathe on my face, i can smell his vanilla scent that i love so much---

Then warm lips touched mine and then i knew, everything will be alright.
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Sorry for the late update, getting busy with Christmas. Merry christmas to everyone !!!!! And oh congratulations to our Miss Universe Pia Alonzo Wurtzbach !!! I love her ! Congratulations to my fellow Filipinos, after 42 years, we now have the crown! :)