He lied...

No, he only did that because he had reasons...

But still, you trusted him and he lied...

I should try to understand him...

Of him lying ? Why would you even???

.....

Why???

Because i still love him...
---

Days have passed since the ball, Dad got out 2 days ago, and everything is fine. The case was halted, the board of directors said that if it continued, the company will have a bad image, we were disappointed but Dad was resolved in making things right. Right now, we are focusing on the present. Everything went back to how it was, were back to the mansion, and we lived just as how we did before. Everything is back to normal.

Except for me...

I am broken, into thousand pieces. I know that because i am acting everyday, happy when its supposed to be happy, strong when people around me asks if I'm fine, a reliable person when Jungyeon and Krystal needs someone to depend on. Its hard, every night i cry myself to sleep, thinking that i am so messed up, that i am so broken, i am nothing-- he took myself with him. Himself was a lie, now I'm questioning if his love was also a lie... I want to know if it is, but i also don't want to because if it is a lie- i have no more of myself to be broken, i am at my limit. He had his reasons, thats what i always tell myself, he had his reason for him to lie to me, i try to understand-- but -- but i have always asked him, i thought he trusted me as much as i trusted him with my life. I cant bring myself to hate him, my love for him is so strong that i, myself cant even fight it. I just hope that he got what he wanted, so at least my broken heart would have given him something-- to think of it as a gift for him, his happiness for my pain. Isn't that what love is at fairytales ? To be able to suffer for the one you love ?

*knock knock*

"Come in." I said as the knock on the door snapped me back to reality. Jungyeon opened the door and she entered and sat on my bed.

"Unnie. Dad just got a call." She said slowly as if theres a punch line. She speaked carefully and watched my reaction. I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh... Whats the call about?"

"Uhmmm... They want him back to the company." She said and her eyes isn't leaving my face.

"Oh."

"Yeah--- and uhmmmm."

"What?" My heart is racing and for some reason i dont know why, i just have a feeling of some sort of nervousness. My stomach churning... "Jungyeon ah. You are like a horror movie, and you know i don't like horror." I said and she was a bit surprised.

"Dad told me, that he would be bringing you to the office, so that everyone can see how you are willing to learn about the company." The universe is really playing with me right ? 

"Well then i should be prepared." I said. But as i looked at Jungyeon, she was looking at the bed and her fingers fumbled with the blanket. "Theres more to it, right?" She looked at me.

"The board of directors will vote between Dad and Mr. Lee in who will be the president" She said and my heart is beating fast, it feels like i know what she is going to say next but somehow i don't want to hear it.

"Huh...." With all the thoughts in my head, that was all i can say.

"And knowing that you will be with Dad, the board of directors will also be comparing you with Mr. Lee's son-- Jonghyun oppa." I knew it, but didn't want to believe it myself. A hot feeling came on my stomach, like i was punched with a hot fist and it twisted on my stomach, my heart went crazy and i cant breathe-- like i am suffocating... How small can our world get ?

No---

Yes---

My mind having a debate whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. My mind is telling me that this is a bad thing, he lied to me so his father can see him worthy, but now i will be compared to him and if it was just me i would yield, but then i have to stand up for my father... My heart tells me it is a good thing, i don't know why but it says it is a good thing, it WILL be a good thing...

What do i do??

"Unnie, are you alright ?" Jungyeon asked very worried as i unknowingly blanked out in my thoughts... She snapped me back and i tried my best to show her, to act to her that i am fine.

"I am... Im -- im fine." I tried to form a little smile but i guess it was just obviously an act by the way Jungyeon reacted.

"No ! Stop saying you are fine when you obviously are not unnie !!! It breaks my heart to see you lie!!! You cant even lie to yourself !" She screamed at me and luckily, everyone in the house was out today, and i was shocked at her screaming at me, tears fell down my cheeks.

"Im-- im sorry ..." I said while sobbing, covering my face with my two hands. Jungyeon stood up.

"No! Dont say sorry too unnie ! You have no fault in this situation ! Why are you blaming yourself ? Why are you torturing yourself ?!?!" She continued. "You yourself is the victim! You should be the one fighting not the one yielding ! You are strong !!! But where is that girl now ?" She shouted and i can feel that she is angry, she was angry at Oppa for all of this mess, and now she's angrier of him because of me.

"Jungyeon ah-- i -- i love him so much it hurts. What do i do Jungyeon ah ?" I pleaded Jungyeon for an answer. She calmed down and kneeled in front of me.

"Unnie, the hurt wont pass for a long time, but you have to fight the pain, you cant let yourself fall down deeper, you have to rise up... Not just for Dad and everyone else, but for yourself especially." Jungyeon said with a calm voice. Then she hugged me and i cried harder in her arms. How i miss Oppa's arms around me, the way i felt so secure in his arms yet -- yet it was the same arms that had lied to me, the irony of everything.

The week have passed and today is the day Dad and i are going to the office for the meeting, everyone will be gathered in the same room, and to be honest ? I don't really know what will happen. When Dad knew that Oppa was Mr. Lee's son, he knew that everything was a set up, he was angered and furious at Oppa, he had treated him like a son and to do this to him was just evil for Dad. I really don't know what to do besides just ride with everything that is happening.

"Seungyeon ah. He is not the Lee Jonghyun that we knew, so don't be nice to him arasso ?" Dad said in the car, ever since the mess i havent heard my gentle Dad, he is very firm now with  his voice as if every word that comes out of him is a command.

"Yes Dad." I answered as he was waiting for my answer.

When we arrived at the office, the people who were loyal to Dad greeted him happily and it gave me a vibe of slight relief, they don't judge Dad because they knew him and that means relief for me, there are people who knows us and wont badmouth us. We sat around the circular table, one by one the board of directors arrived and greeted us, some had a small talk of how happy they are that Dad is out -- but of course, business is business, you never know who tells the truth. Speaking of truth, they arrived. Mr. Lee and Oppa arrived just as i was talking to one of the directors and when they got in the room, i looked at Dad and i knew he was furious, he was angry, mad as hell and i went near to Dad to at least remind him that i am with him. I sat in the chair at the very end and Dad was at the very front and Mr. Lee sat in front of Dad and Oppa sat in front of me. Knowing myself that i will get lost in his eyes, i tried my best to look down or sideways, just not in front. I can feel his eyes on me like there was a force telling me to look up and into his eyes. Gravity that brings my head to look into him and i cant fight. So i didn't fight.

His eyes, as i look into those beautiful brown eyes is like digging into my soul, just like always, my body reacted. My heart beat faster, knees feeling weak, stomach churning... How i missed those feelings, melting under his stare under the night sky in our little rooftop...

No---

Don't cry here. You'll mess everything up. 

I told myself and broke the stare. I have to be strong-- at least pretend to be strong. 

The meeting is on going, they were talking among themselves, turning their backs on Oppa and I, i can still feel his eyes on me. When will the meeting end? I looked at my phone, texted Krystal and Jungyeon of what is going on. Suddenly a message from an unknown number came.

"You are still beautiful as always, Seungyeon ah." I looked up and he smiled at me, not the full smile but more of a hurt smile. My heart is going crazy. Then my phone vibrated again, another message. "I hope we can talk later. I have to tell you something."

Talk? With him? Will i be able to hold myself ?

No....

But I'll have to....

Right ?