JONGHYUN's POV
"Son, wake up! You have to eat." Mom waking me up. I sat up and run my fingers through my hair. "Food is ready at the table Jonghyun ah, lets eat."

"Arasso Omma, i'll be out in a few minutes." I smiled at her

"Just dare to sleep again and i'll throw you cold water." She joked before leaving, but that is not a joke she actually does that. Omma went out, leaving me alone -- just as i left someone alone.

-flashback-
"Leave the house. Everything is set, go to your mom and never talk to them again. I'll handle everything. You have proven yourself this time. I'll contact you soon." He said.

"Neh. Ummm, can i ask? What will happen to the daughters?" His eyes looked at me with question and raised his eyebrow, i looked down. He tapped his fingers on the table before answering

"I don't know, they'll probably live in the street i guess. Seungyeon has her adoptive parents. Are you worried of them?" He looked at me, waiting for my answer. I took a deep breath in my mind and looked at him straight.

"No sir." I said firmly, his eyes lingered on me, as if waiting if i will break. Then he smirked.

"Arasso. Go now." He ordered. I took a bow and walked away.
----end of flashback-----

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath. What have you done Lee Jonghyun? 

"Jonghyun ah!!! I have ice water in a glass. You better get out of your room!" Omma shouted and i stood up, throwing every thought away. I went out and took a seat at the table.

"Don't you have work today Jonghyun ah? Isnt it time for you to get back to Seoul?" Omma asked as she was pouring water in my glass.

"None. I resigned already Omma. I'l just stay here and take care of you" i said not looking at her, keeping on chewing my food.

"Wae? Why did you resign? Didn't you say you were very happy with your job?" She asked, very worried i looked at her and she was still waiting for an answer.

"Don't you want your only son to stay with you and take care of you?" I asked her, still with food in my mouth. She slapped my head and it hurt.

"Who told you you can talk with food in your mouth ? You rascal! You said you loved your job ! How can you resign?"

"Aish... I just wanted to resign alright? Stay here ! Where i belong okay?" I stuffed my mouth with food and Omma was quiet for a while.

"Did your father have anything to do with you resigning?" Her voice low but you can hear firmness and assurance in her voice, as if she knew everything.

"No." I said, my voice shook and i closed my eyes.

"You really cant lie huh." Omma said. "What did he make you do this time ? How many times will you try to appeal to him Jonghyun ah? " her voice shaking as if she was about to cry. I looked at her. Her face was tired and worried, i swallowed my food and drank water.

"Thank you for the food." I stood up and she she just followed me by looks, i went to my room and closed the door. My room is small, just a single window, a small and old study table at the corner, single bed. I laid down the bed and looked at my ceiling.

"Seungyeon ah" i breathed. I closed my eyes tight. What have i done ? I shouldn't have led her on. I shouldn't have let myself fall for her and she to me. This is all my fault ! This is all my fault !

*ding* my phone beeped and i checked the message.

"Throw away this number, after this day you shall have no contact with Gong's family arasso? I'll send you a new phone." Aboji texted. 

Aboji, my boss, my father. I am his staff, his son --from a woman with whom he cheated from his wife. In short i am his bastard. But in his lucky i am his only son, and he said i still have to prove myself to him -- by working as a bodyguard to Mr. Gong and learning everything about Brown Company and to betray him in the end. I was willing to do anything for him, just so he can call me his son, not until Seungyeon came and made me question everything, but it was too late. She came too late to change what i had done already. I have to forget her, i need to. Everything is a mess, i am a mess and have made a mess. Maybe i should just disappear? Sigh. I grabbed my phone and turned it off. If everything has started, its better not to let her reach me- i might not be able to hold back when i see her name in my phone. Just the thought of her already makes me want to go and run to her but for my father, to be his son i have to fight myself. Myself is the scariest person to fight with.

I grabbed a book, read it. Try and take my mind off the world, but the moment i smelled the scent of pages of the book, she automatically popped in my head. This is not going to work, she reminds me of everything, even breathing. I changed clothes, i decided to jog and go to the beach, my best friend. When i got to the beach, the breeze helped me to calm down, to take a breath, to take away every thought with the wind.

How will you be happy Jonghyun ah? What if you did get the recognition you want from your father would you be happy ? YES i will be happy, i did this mess because i want him to see me as his son, thats why i risked everything . Even my heart. Sigh.

After a few thoughts, i stood up and jogged back home. When i got home, a package was delivered, Omma said it was from Aboji. I took it and knew before opening that it was the phone he was talking about, i took the package to my room and closed the door. The moment i turn on the new phone, it will be the time to officially cut everything with Seungyeon. I intended not to memorize her number knowing that this time will come. But i cant let her go without telling her goodbye.

I turned my phone on and the moment it , alerts came that i had missed calls, when i saw her name, my heart broke into million pieces. She is looking for me, everything must be hard for her right now. She must be having so much trouble, trouble that i caused. My heart ached, my head pumped hard. Then i saw a text message from her, at first i hesitated to read it. But then, i cant fight myself.

"Oppa, everything is a mess here. I need you, please.... Please call me"

I cant help but cry at her needing help, how can i hell her when I'm the one who caused her pain and suffering. She must be so lost right now. What do i do?

If i call her what will i say? Would i even be able to say a word ? I dont think i can handle myself the moment i hear her voice. BUT I HAVE TO CUT EVERYTHING, at least say goodbye. It will only hurt her, she'll hate me for leaving her. But she has all the right in the world to hate me, to kill me even. Ugh, my head is having a war. Without thinking much, i dialed her phone and i was praying she wont pick up, but she did.

"Oppa--" she breathed.
I stopped breathing.