(Jonghyun's POV)

"Eunhee?" I called out.

Hearing someone calling out her name, she cried even harder. I ran over to embrace her in my arms, assuring her that everything was okay. She leaned her head on my shoulder, her tears not able to stop flowing.

She must have known her father just passed away. Yet she needs to be here, to debut. It , doesn't it?

"Jonghyun-" She tried to speak, but she ended up crying again.

I pat her back, and let her cry as much as she wanted. I'll be here for her anyway. She slowly calmed down after a while and sat upright. I thought she was going to tell me about her dad, but the first words that came out of wasn't what I thought it would be.

"I'm not going to debut."

My eyes widened by maybe about 10 times bigger, shocked at what she just said.

"What? Why? You know, just because you came late it doesn't mean you'll get kicked out; or if you're talking about your dad's passing away-" She raised an eyebrow, surprised why I knew about it. "- I'm sure he doesn't want you to give up either."

She pondered for a while before she replied.

"I made a promise with Hongki op- with Hongki sunbae." 

"Wait, what happened? Where did you go just now? Tell me, everything. From this morning till now. Every single thing without missing a single bit."

She stared at the ground, perhaps wondering if she should tell me.

----

Jonghyun. He should be someone I could trust. Plus, he knows almost everything now. But, I just didn't want to tell him yet, about having to leave the entertainment industry forever... I didn't want to leave SM Entertainment, I didn't want to leave SHINee, and most importantly, I didn't want to leave Jonghyun. Despite him being a total idiot at times.

Should I tell him, or should I not?

I was debating with myself inside my head, not sure of what to do. 

"I went to the airport to look for Hongki after I recieved the news of appa being hospitalized." I finally said.

"You went to look for him? What happened? He didn't-"

"No, he didn't get to meet appa in time since appa just left." 

A single drop of grief welled up from the corner of my eye and suddenly, the dam broke. Hot torrents of grief coursed down my face, and Jonghyun pulled me into a hug again.

"Let's just not talk about this okay?" He said with a soft voice.

Just thinking of leaving SM Entertainment, to return to no one at all, was really terrifying. I might have to live with Suzy now, maybe I'll go back to school too. I promised Hongki I wouldn't get involved with the entertainment industry in any way, and I don't break promises. I've failed once, I won't break it again. Who knows, it might change Hongki a little in the inside, maybe at least... he'll attend the funeral?

Thinking of leaving Onew oppa.... I thought of the days we had chicken together, we would try every flavour, visit almost every chicken shop, to see which was best. We both truly have an obsession for chicken. He was funny, though some of his jokes might turn out pretty lame; and his Onew Condition, always brought me to laughter, though I would also check if he was okay; and well, he just had a sunshine smile that would make my day much brighter.

Then there was Key, the one who always managed to crack a joke and make me laugh, or at least amuse me with his sarcasm; tell me how awesome he is, and once in a while how pretty I look ('Will be even prettier if you follow my footsteps' he once said); and also tease Jonghyun. He'd buy me clothes once in a while when he shops (he says my fashion sense is as terrible as Jonghyun's), and he's just always there whenever I need a laugh.

Also, there was the obnoxiously tall Choi Minho, who always forces me to play basketball with him (of course with him winning all the time), but sometimes talks to me when I'm bored and often asks about my day. Teases both Key and Jonghyun, and tells me how adorable he thinks their little maknae Taemin is (sometimes even warning me to stay away from Taeminnie), or just sits with me talking about any random stuff.

And of course, Lee Taemin! That adorable piece of fluff that I can't bear to say goodbye to. Those moments where we would share banana milks (not by the same straw, obviously), or any other flavour of milk. Times where he would tell me how he thinks his hyungs are really immature, or those silly things that they've once done; probably exposing all the secrets of SHINee that he knows. (I keep secrets so I'm not telling you anything.) Just a bubbly smile of his, or watching his bouncing hair just makes me smile.

Last, but definitely not the least - my favourite, yet the one I loath most - Kim Jonghyun, the pabo dino with some arrogance, a pinch of idiocity, a dash of hotness (okay, make that two) and a pair of cute puppy eyes that you can't resist smiling at. God of skinship of course, you can see him clinging around almost every member in SHINee, sometimes even me, to be honest (no kisses).

Now that I think of it, seeing beyond those imperfections, he is quite a decent guy. He cares about me, even though he can't show it. I still remember the burgers and the sticky notes, the banana milks he stole from Taemin, texts about how was practice, and of course those nights where he took me out for dinner or a cup of coffee, and once to the amusement park with SHINee at late midnight, and everything else he's ever done for me. The time where he cooked for me when I was in the hospital, and also-

I thought of the time where he abandoned me near the bench at the hospital...

I broke into tears again.

"It's okay, it's okay." A tender voice whispered in my ear.

I almost forgot I was in the arms of pabo Jonghyun.

I choked and stifled a giggle, thinking how stupid I was.

"Come on, wipe your tears." He passed me a tissue.

I wiped my tears as he helped me stand up then sat me down on a bench nearby.

"Jonghyun, I don't want to debut." I told him after I threw the damp tissue into the wastepaper basket.

"You don't want? That's not a right term, Eunhee, I think you meant-"

"No Jonghyun, I don't want." I said, more firmly.

"Are you sure it's you who doesn't-"

"I said, I don't want." I said it forcefully, heart knowing that I wanted to stay, but couldn't.

He looked at me for a while, seemed to be thinking of what else to say so that I would change my mind. 

"I'm not convinced." He said flatly.

"Then you better be." I replied, not changing my tone.

"But why don't you want to debut?"

"I just don't want to."

He sighed exasperatedly.

"This isn't you, Eunhee."

"Are you trying to say I'm an imposter? I'm NOT Eunhee?" I tried to joke.

Too bad for me, he was being serious.

"You always have reasons for everything you do." 

"Well, this time, I don't."

He stood up, and by his expression I could see he was annoyed by my sudden change and maybe not telling him why I didn't want to debut, but also feeling worried for me. It was all written on his face.

"Well-" His tone changed into the softer one he used earlier. "-if you don't want to tell me, you will have to tell the company anyway."

He latched his right hand into my left and pulled me up.

"I've already got that planned. I just hope it works." I looked at him hopefully.

He was still a teeny bit upset, maybe because he thinks I don't trust him.

"Sorry, Jonghyun." I said, sincerely.

"It's alright." He smiled. "I understand."

"Thank you so much."

He tightened his grip.

"Should we go now? It's pretty late now, I think they're already planning to delay or cancel your debut, prepare for some scoldings."

"The better, if they cancelled it."

"Unlikely to happen though. You ready?"

I took a deep breath.

"Yeah."

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Ta-dah! Updated :) Please check my new fanfic!

Between the Living and the Dead.

Thanks in advance.