The next day, i received a letter from baekhyun. He said that he met his old brother that went to japan.

I didn’t even know that he had a brother. Then he explained that his name was Jeon Jungkook, he was adopted when he was 14 years old because his parents moved to abroad for work.

So, byun family decided to adopted him and took care of him. he said that he was so happy, because jungkook was the closest relatives that he has  when both of them were kids.

        “i miss about the moment you called me dickhead”

        I laughed when i read that part. No matter what, he would always be my dickhead. The most cutest dickhead ever, and could be the most jerky dickhead that everyone could have.

        I took the stone and found something that i’ve never saw before. I saw a name, and it was the name that i knew.

No way, this name might be the name of the person that made this stone. I tried to read it, it was Sanghyuk.

Oh my god, it was that boy?

        I did wanted to find him now but it wasn’t the time for us to get out from the room, lunch time haven’t came yet.

I continued to read baekhyun's letter and stopped when i saw a sentence that said.

 

        “you know what, kyungri, our hoobae always visited my campus. Her father is one of the licterature there. We met each other for the first time yesterdey, she haven’t change”

 

        Then i heard a knock on my door. I told the nurse to came in and he brought a letter from bomi.

I got suprised, even bomi sent me a letter. I opened it and read it, and got suprised. I couldn’t even move when i read it.

 

Dear [Y/N],

 

        Hi, it’s bomi. Since we aren’t going to meet each other, i want to be the person that didn’t tell lies to you.

I’ll move to indonesia next week, so we won’t met again. i’m not the girl who didn’t report the hyoyeon’s accident to the police, it’s not me because i called the police.

i was the girl who had a fair with jimin, yes, jimin had a fair with me that moment. i din’t know that he has a girlfriend before, i really didn’t know about it.

then after the incident happends, i couldn’t tell how much i felt so guilty towards it. i’m sorry for lying to you.

I know that you may going to hate me so much more that you should be.

 

The ,

Yoon bomi.

 

        It was her. so whatsoever the things that she always tried to tell me was about this? I threw the mail away and dropped my tears there.

I couldn’t believe it, nor i should be thank to bomi because she told me the truth. But i need more truth, i was still craving for it.

there must be something wrong. Something wrong with me when i thought that i was jimin’s ex.

        After the theraphy, i woke up and found myself was on the bed again. baekhyun said that i forget about chorong and jaehyun, the person that i didn’t know.

Baekhyun refused to tell me about them that day when he discovered that i forgot about them.

However, i was going to believe on baekhyun.

        Chanyeol sent me a teddy bear that i gave to him a few years ago. And now, i hold the teddy bear tightly.

I missed him, it was just like i haven’t meet him for years. I wanted him to be here, and made me spit all of my problems.

I wanted him to yelled on me because he think that i was so stupid, i wanted to hear it. i knew that i wanted to be alone, but not this kind of lonely.

I wanted to be free and alone, and what i got was trapped and lonely.

        It’s been a while since the last time i visited hyoyeon either. nobody let me out for visiting here, no one could.

I trapped here until the day that i finally became so much better, when i forgot about everything.

That was the deal, i’m not going to go out from this place if i haven’t cure yet. the deal that i didn’t know how the i should act to it.

should i be grateful or should i be regret about it. and then i heard the door was opened, it was dr. Joohyun.

        “your condition turn better, keep it up. Don’t be stressed out, do it for your family, yourfriends and baekhyun. You can do it” she said.

“you told me to not be stressed out but look what all of you did to me, you trapped me here and you make me suffered and stressed” i replied.

        She said, “you mad, you mad because you can’t see baekhyun anymore. Look what you’ve done, you wanted to do this before you fall for baekhyun, aren’t you?”

        “i don’t want to leave him”

        “you aren’t leave him, [y/n], You just prepare yourself for having a long life with baekhyun. Because if you didn’t take this treatment, you will live in a traumatic life. And i know that you’re smart to think that you won’t hurt yourself even more. Because people already hurt you in many ways. And you-”

        “stop. Please just leave”

 

        I sat on the bench and looked at the other patience that was playing with each other. I suddenly remembered about the park that chanyeol showed me a few months ago, as he said that it was the place that me and hyoyeon used to spent with.

If they allowed me to go out, that’s going to be the first place that i will visit.

        “eonni, what happend? You look so sad” haena came approached me and sat right next to me. i told her that i was fine, i just got a little bit tired.

“you aren’t doing anything, then why the heck you’re tired, eonni?” she asked and we both laughed. She was a fun girl indeed.

        She asked, “do you have any boyfriend at your house?”

        “yes i did, his name was byun baekhyun. A few months ago, we both fought a lot because he was so annoying even though he was the new student in my class. we played some games, and it turned out that we both had a feelings for each other. It was a beutiful moment, yet so hurt. Then he said that he was going to be a psychiatrist so he can heal me someday, and he does. It’s just, i’m so worried because i’m not there with him and i’m afraid that he will find someone else not me. it’s just feels so hurt if he didn’t keep his promise. I decided to believe in him, yet i’m still scared as hell”

        “i don’t know how it feels like eonni, because i’m just 14 year old girl. but believe me, don’t cry eonni. Because tears won’t washed your sadness away, it might make you feel better but it doesn’t mean that you’ll forget about it. how to forget about the sadness? Find something that make you happy”

        “that’s my problem, haena-ah, i don’t know what to do to keep myself happy. Everytime i decided to be happy in my own way, people would think that it isn’t good. I cut myself everytime to make myself happy, but people judging me and told me that i’m crazy. Despite the fact that, i’m not crazy. I’m just a little bit lunatic person”

 

        I sat on the bench with the stone. This stone was made by hyuk, that hyuk. I stood up and decided to talked to him.

i had to have a courage, let’s just hope that hyuk wouldn’t freak out. “excuse me, sanghyuk?” i asked and it seems like he was shocked that i knew his name.

        “i-i’m [Y/N], anyway, i found this stone a few months ago and i haven’t seen this name until yesterday. This is your name, isn’t it? did you make it?” i asked and he nooded.

he told me that he made it when he was a kid. But i  kinda wondered, why did it ended up at my house?

Because we just talked to each other, i didn’t want to make hyuk felt uncomfortable so i decided to leave and went to my room.

        I just hoped that someone will visit me soon, i missed everyone.

 

-2 MONTHS LATER-

 

        4 months have passed, and they still didn’t release me from this cage. They said that my condition got worser each day, that was why they decreased the possibility for my friends and family come to visit me, neither do baekhyun.

But there was someone, someone that wasn’t always be there for me but the best person to depends on. Mr. Han.

        “how are you? You look too skinny” said Mr. Han. He was the only person that looked so calm to see me, yet his eyes were full of worries.

“i know, i think that i’m going to get crazier here and nobody give a ” i said as i looked at the ground, not willing to see his eyes that looked at me with a full of a pity.

        He said, “today was Mr. Lee’s son’s birthday, Lee Chanyeol, i know that both of you can’t meet each other right now but you can write him a letter to congrast him”

        “i don’t think that it would help. Just tell him that i congrast him from here”

        “whoa whoa, what’s happened?”

        “they didn’t fix me, Mr. Han. They’re torturing me, they made me came back into the old me that i have left before. I became to hate everyone again, i became to hate myself even more, they never fix me”

        “you can’t be fix” i was so suprised by what Mr. Han just said. i looked up at him. “because you’re not a thing, you’re a miracle that ever happened to everyone. Your parents, your friends, baekhyun, hyoyeon and even me. miracle can’t be fixed, it was made”

        “how about baekhyun? Did you meet him, by any chance?” i asked. “he’s busy, too busy for his college. He took every classes that the licterature have, and it was for you so you wouldn’t have to feel worried about it” he said as he held my hand, he was trying to keep me calm.

        I replied, “i didn’t met him for months, and i keep thinking that he might loses his hope on me. told him to stop, i don’t want to be worried anymore so just stop. I don’t want him to hurting himself just for me, i’m nothing but a lunatic person”

        “bomi has left, and she wanted me to tell you about the truth”

        “the truth about what?”

        “about the real accident”

        “what’s with the real accident? I don’t-“

        “it was her. hyoyeon saw jimin with her. they caught up did ‘thing’ at jimin’s house, i’m so sorry for that” said Mr. Han and i knewabout it, bomi said about it a few months again.

However, when she came back here, she have to meet me first.

        Mr. Han gave me my black journal before he left. He wanted me to keep it so i wouldn’t forget anything about my memories with hyoyeon, nor with baekhyun and the others that i cared about.

I went to the park and sat there while flipping the page, i saw so many pictures that i remembered and the picture which i didn’t remember at all.

Most of them the picture that i still remember, and i was glad for that.

        When i finally reached the last page, i found a picture of baekhyun that i believed that it was just taken.

At the bottom of the picture, i saw a message that written, “next time you think of beautiful things, don’t forget to count yourself in”

 

        I hope that my mom and my dad could visit me here but i didn’t know, maybe they were busy with their own bussinesses.

I missed ilhoon too, that boy must have been grown up so well. Then i heard someone knocked my door, it was hongbin.

I got so suprised because i’ve never thought that hongbin will came visit me.

        “hey” he said when he saw my recent condition that looked too pale and too skinny. He brought me some candies and the other gifts.

“me and baekhyun were at the same campus, anyway, he always looks so tired and there was something that i think you should know” said hongbin as he sat on the bed with me.

        He said, “you know about kyungri, right? well, she always came to our campus and flirt with baekhyun. She thought that both of you were over, and baekhyun already told her about your relationship that was still exist until now but she won’t listen”

        “s-she’s the hottest junior at school, isn’t she?”

        “i hate to admit it, but yes. but you don’t have to think to much, you know baekhyun can handle it, aren’t you? He has handle so many s before and for this one, he’s going to get rid of her as fast as lighting. Anyway, your mom told me to give you this”

        “you know my mom?”

        “everybody know your mom” he said and we were both laughing. I opened the box and found a picture of our family plus baekhyun.

“why did my parents never wanted to came visit me?” i asked with my shaked voice.

        Hongbin replied, “they actually really wanted to visit you but they were afraid that they couldn’t hold their feelings towards you. They were afraid that they might take you home instead after heard about what people said about your condition. They wanted you to stay and got better than before, they’re very worried about you”

        “anyway, hongbin-ah, who’s chorong?”

        “i really wanted to tell you about her but for your health, i choose to not tell you who she is. And this is my time to go, please get well soon” hongbin said and smiled to me before he went outside.

I was kinda wondering, why everybody doesn’t want to explain about who she was? Because i didn’t remember her at all.

It’s not like chorong was the one who killed hyoyeon, is it?

 

        The next day, it was still the same day with a medicine and theraphy. I sat on the bench with haena, i just showed her about my friends picture inside my black journal.

I showed her about ahyoung, baekhyun, and chorong. Until now, i still didn’t know about who was her, nobody wanted to tell me about her.

        I went to my bedroom and sat on the chair that located near the windows. I maybe have said this thing a lot, but i did really missed everybody.

I hope i could get out from this hospital sooner, i wanted to be free and fly away from them. When i looked at the road, i saw something that was really creepy.

I saw a girl and a boy who wear a black suit were looking at me. they just looked like a satanic couple.

a few minutes later, they walked away and got dissapeard. I just realized that that girl was chorong, it was chorong!

        “okay, [Y/N], it’s time for your theraphy” said dr. Joohyun who suddenly came. “doctor! I saw chorong at the outside!” i said as i pointed to the window.

Dr. Joohyun looked so suprised, she immediatly checked the windows and she found nothing. She knew that i’m not lying.

        “we need to do this, now!”

 

        I woke up and found myself at my own room. i can’t remember anything right now because my head was so hurt.

Suddenly, chanyeol came inside my room. i didn’t know that they let someone came visited me today, i thought that they only gave them a primission for one day a week.

He hugged me so tight and was looking at me so seriously. “we need to talk” he said. i felt some kind of seriousness here, and i hope that it wasn’t a bad news.

I started to felt so good. “what is it?” i asked.

        “i don’t know how to say this to you, i’m afraid that i’ll break you to millions part. I already told this to dr. Joohyun and she told me that it was okay, because this was the right time for you. She was afraid, neither do i”

        “dammit, lee chanyeol, just tell me!”

        “you and baekhyun can’t be together anymore. He has someone else, that kyungri, your friend named hongbin told me about her and baekhyun. He said that-“ i was crying so hard even though chanyeol haven’t finished his sentences.

I was crying too hard, maybe, until every nurse came to my room and calm me down. But i can’t, i’ve trusted baekhyun and then all my worries came true.

This is not fair, this is so not in fair.

        I ran out from the hospital and let the others chased for me. i didn’t care. I wanted to go to baekhyun’s house that located nearby. I have to.

I only wear a thin slippers and it was broken so i left it on the street. Everyone was chasing for me, but i was a good runner than them.

When i just arrived in front of baekhyun house, i couldn’t breath properly when i saw a car and there was baekhyun and kyungri inside.

I ran to the car and then they noticed me, both of them were very suprised, expecially that dickhead.

I only cried there before everything turned blank.

        Please tell me that i died.

 

-2 MONTHS LATER-

 

        I’ve been spending my time in this hospital for 6 months. After what baekhyun did to me, i could’t stop thinking about it.

gladly, the nurse gave me some medicine to made me calm and got easier to go to sleep. They should gave me more, i didn’t care if i got an overdose.

        I haven’t talk to anyone, not even to haeun, that little kid. Whenever there was someone who wanted to meet me, i just sat there and stared at the wall with a blank stares.

Sometimes, i just pretended to be asleep just like what i did yesterday when celena, sunyoung, sooyoung and hyelim came with baekhyun.

But dr. Joohyun came and told baekhyun to not go to my room until i recover because his precense made it became worser.

Dr. Joohyun might not going to ask baekhyun to be her assistant.

        I wrote a letter for ilhoon that morning. Ilhoon has his first birthday but i wasn't there for him.

i haven’t see how much he has change, he must be very handsome.

        “baekhyun ask me to give this to you” said dr. Joohyun as she gave me a box. I took it from her arm and threw it away to the door until the box were broken.

“we need to do the theraphy again, this time, a little bit more further” she said while helping me to go to the theraphy room. after the theraphy, she kinda showed me some records and then pictures of memories and all the people that have through my life.

        Dr. Joohyun said, “pick the moment that you remember” i picked the han river, the beach, graduation day,hyoyeon’s funeral, and the moment where i caught baekhyun and kyungri.

That were the moment that i remember, the rest of it, i couldn’t remember it clearly.

        “how about this scarf? You gave it to someone when it was his birthday?”

        “i don’t remember”

        “how about this guy? This is your boyfriend”

        “i do remember, but he’s not my boyfriend” i said and then leaved that room to my own room. i held a my magic stone, then suddenly i was thinking about hyuk.

I had to give it back to him, he might wanted to have it back. I searched for his room and found out that he was talking to nothing.

Halucination anxiety problem, or maybe he was talking to someone who already dead. “sanghyuk?” i called his name and he turned his head to me and smiled.

I walked slowly towards him and sat right next to him.

        i said, “you might want to keep this stone”

        “why don’t you just keep it?”  

        “but this is yours”

        “i know, and i want you to have it”

        “why me?”

        “because you’re the lucky person who can find it after i hid it for years. I made this stone and burried it, hoping that maybe someone will find it” he said and i was amazed.

That was the moment that i thought that he wasn’t as crazy as people thought. “what’s with fountain?” he asked and i was suprised that he knew about the fountain.

        I stammered, “how did you know about that?”

        “your friend told me”

        “whom?”

        “hyoyeon”

 

        Mr. Han and my dad came and visiting me again that day. i told him about hyuk that saw hyoyeon.

I thought that maybe hyoyeon was by myside all this long and she was protecting me. but My dad didn’t believe it, he thought that hyuk was really crazy.

“there’s no such thing as ghost, [Y/N]-ah” said Mr. Han. “why does it has to be like this? Why does people think that ghost isn’t real but love is real? Both of them are a myth” i replied.

        My dad looked at me and said, “listen dear, hyoyeon is gone and there’s no way that she’ll be back. Even if she was here right now, she might wanted you to recover soon”

        “dad, isn’t it weird? I used to want to get out from this place but right now, i just wanted to stay. I don’t want to meet baekhyun, i just wanted to be alone and lonely. It’s kinda perfectly fit for me. and do you want to know about something, dad? If i recover from this place, i’ll forget about everything because this theraphy causes me to forget my memories. And then they might going to manipulated my brain”

 

        That night, i sat near the windows and saw many people were walking passed this hospital at that time.

Since i catched baekhyun and kyungri were together, i’ve never speak if nobody were asking me about something.

I just spoke to my parents and mr.han. they were the only one i could trust. I even never get out from this room anymore, and i always missed the supper time.

I didn’t care, i just wanted to die right now. I looked down and found that there was 2 boys and 1 girl were looking at me with their scary eyes.

Three of them wore a black suit, and it was very scared me till death so i decided to sat on the bed.

I’ve seen them before but i forget, i might already forget it.

        A few minutes later, ahyoung came and brought me some fruits. She knew that i didn’t eat well here, so she brought me some fruits. “i knew about him, and i decided to not disscusing about him because right now, i want to tell you something” said ahyoung.

i picked an apple and ate it right in front of her. “chorong is missing, i couldn’t find her everywhere” she said and i squinted my eyes, it seems like i’ve known that name.

        She said, “akh you might didn’t remember her but it doesn’t matter, she’s our friend. I don’t know where’ve she been, but i heard that she joined a gangster. Isn’t scary?”

        “gangster?”

        “yes, the same gangster with ahn jaehyun. Baekhyun told me a few days ago. And anyway, your mom wanted me to sent this to you. This is a few pictures of ilhoon on his birthday, he’s so cute” she said as she gave me a box that filled with ilhoon picture.

We both giggled because ilhoon just way too cute.

        “ahyoung-ah, if someday i forget about you, please come here again and try hard to make me remember about you again. won’t you?” i asked and ahyoung nooded, she dropped her tears one by one and we both were hugging each other.

“and if someday i forget about baekhyun, i beg you to not try even once to make me remember about him. just please, don’t break my trust after baekhyun did it” i said and she nooded. i wanted to believe her, if she broke my trust then i decided to not meet any person anymore. Suicide.

 

        Early in the morning, i decided to go out from my room and sat on the bench while looking at the view that was so calm.

“hey” i looked up and found that hyuk was here. i smiled at him and then he sat right next to me.

        He said, “hyoyeon said that she was sorry for leaving you behind at that day. she said that it wasn’t all your fault, she wanted to sacrafice for you too”

        “s-she said that?”

        “yes, she also said that don’t stop trusting baek- ah i don’t remember his name”

        that dickhead.