It was Friday and technically, i didn’t have to go to school tomorrow so i spent my night at chanyeol’s.

        We were hanging out at his room and i messed his bedroom very well. “i can’t believe that you still keep this thing” i said when i found the teddy bear that i gave to chanyeol at the moment when he about to left to japan.

        He chukled at me, “of course, how could i forget about how you cried on me when i was about to leave?” i grinned.

        I do remember exactly when he about the leave, it was just like he will left me forever and ever and won’t coming back even though 4 years later, he came back and spent every day on his day with me.

        “how about baekhyun?”

        “how about him?”

        “girl, you’re dying because of him. so tell me, how about baekhyun? You’ve never told me about him again” he said while i’m sighed, he knew to much about me and baekhyun.

        “first of all, i’m not dying because of him. second, i couldn’t meet him again since Dr. Joohyun have warned me about it so i should listen to her”

        “okay, whatsoever you say then”

        When i just came out from chanyeol house, i found baekhyun was in front of my house and smiling at me.

       “goodnight, baekhyun” i said as i was leaving him without look at him. “wait, [y/n] ah” i turned around and saw that he was walking towards me.

        i warned him that i couldn’t go near him again but he always answered it with, “i didn’t hear it

byun dickhead, what had you done with your life?

        “i’m not going to listen to you anyway, why did you always trying to warned me with that?” baekhyun chuckled while got into my house without get my premission.

        I could have gone mad because of this piece of .“annyeong, Mr. Jung!” he greet my dad who was at the living room and of course, both of my parents loved baekhyun so much.

        Maybe more than they love their own daughter, me.

        “i’m going to bed, now” i went upstairs without caring about three of them who was calling my name.

        If both of my parents knew that i was passed out again because of him, they would kick him off from this house.

       From outside of my bedroom, i could hear that someone was knocking the door. “hey, do you think we need to talk?” no, we didn’t need something to talk about anymore.

        He could go walk out from my life, run if he have to because now he was free and doesn’t need to care about me again.

        “are you hate me that much?”

        “i’m not, i just can’t see you anymore”

        “i’m not the type of person that easily giving up of something, especially to someone like you. See you tomorrow, sugar lump” then i heard he went downstairs.

         Sometimes, i do hope that i died when i was sleeping. So that i couldn’t have to deal with any other pain because i do felt so much pain before.

       Let’s just hope that tomorrow, i already on my way to hell.

 

        “so, did you still meeting up with baekhyun?” i shook my head as Dr. Joohyun sat on her chair.  As 30 years old women, she was so beautiful than some women at his age.

         She said that she was glad because of it, but, she also worried about me since she saw my face than looked so sad.

        “i guess it was because of baekhyun, i was ignoring him”

        “i know, it must be hurt for both of you”

        “you have no idea”

        “okay then, enough for today, i need to see someone now. I see you for a few days later and don’t forget that you have to stayed at hospital for the real theraphy. It’s going to hurt, i’m not going to lie to you but at the end of the day, you’re going to be totally fine. You might don’t have to see me anymore”

        “it’s not a great idea, i want to see you again”

        “you will, [Y/N]-ah haha”

 

        I was taking care of ilhoon right now, he began to learn how to crawl and it was so cute as .

        It was so much fun to be a mother, isn’t it? i can’t wait until it’s my turn to be a mother, one day.

        I took ilhoon to my bedroom and we played there. Then i heard someone was calling me from outside, i could tell that it was chanyeol.

        I opened the window and saw chanyeol was there. I took ilhoon to the window and waving his hand to chanyeol.

        “ilhoon-ah!!”

        “no, ilhoon doesn’t want to see you now” i said and he was only laughing. We were talking to each other that afternoon. The sun shining so bright and it made chanyeol looked so bright than before, somehow it made him look like an angel. Sort of.

        “hey, my mother baked a cookies. You want some?”

        “that would be nice”

        “of course, you idiot, haha” he laughed at me as he was leaving me to deliver me some cookies that his mother, auntie hyomin, made.

         Me and ilhoon went downstairs and then the bell rang, it was auntie hyomin with her cookies.

        “i thought chanyeol is the one who will deliver this cookies haha anyway, thank you auntie. You’ve been so nice” i said and she was smiling, chanyeol’s mother was so nice and pretty.

        I couldn’t describe her with a words.

        “anytime, my dear, how’s ilhoon?” she asked while pinching ilhoon cheeks. I told her than ilhoon was good, pretty good until he gain more weight and made me lose my strength.

         A few moments later, my parents finally came. I remember that i had a swimming practice this evening so i packed my things and get ready to go to the swimming pool.

       When i finally reached the gate, i saw baekhyun who was looking so serious.“what happened to you?” i asked and he only breath heavily, i knew that he ran from somewhere to here.

        I could see sweats came down from his body and face.

        “all this time, It wasn’t hyoyeon”

 

~~~***~~~

 

         I do still thinking about what baekhyun said yesterday. Though i didn’t really understand about it, i didn’t ask for explanation from him.

         so yesterday, i just walked pass by him and ignorim him who was calling my name over and over.

        I was on my way to school with chanyeol who drove me there. “you know that love could be this hurfull, aren’t you? Then why did you fall into it? you made your condition a lot worser than before” he said.

         “if i know about love that hurt me like this, i don’t want it” i sighed and looked at the view from the car window. I could hear chanyeol chuckled.

         I know i was so stupid. I already told myself to not fall for love but then, i fell for it.

        “see you after school”

        “alright” i slammed the car door and walked into the school. baekhyun wasn’t there and it made me felt a lot more easier.

         I didn’t want to met him for a few days, i just still couldn’t forget that he actually going out with chorong.

         No, chorong forced him and baekhyun accepted it.

        I got into the private class and sat there alone. It was a lot more better than the old class that was so noisy.

        Then i heard the door was opened, “hey, [Y/N]!” i turned my head and found soyeon, the girl that was at the same club with me, swimming club.

        I smiled weakly at her as she came approaching me. “we should hang out with the other club friends! You want to join us?” she asked with her glowing eyes.         I shuggered, i didn’t know if i should ignore her invitation or not. I was afraid that i would be so rude to her.

        “i don’t know about it”

        “alright, if you need some friends, we’re here for you!”

        “alright” she smiled at me and got out from the class. i smiled a little, it suprise me a lot that someone actually care about me.

         but i don’t think that a person like me deserved to be loved like that, after i pushed everyone from my life.

 

        At the break time, i was hanging out with the swimming club girls. We sat at the cafetaria and joking around.

        I laughed when i saw how they making fun the others, this girls were pretty fun.

        While waiting for chanyeol that would picking me up at school, i sat on the bench near the school gate.

        But then, someone covered my eyes with it cold hands. “okay, it’s not funny, lee chanyeol” then i turned around and it was shocking as , it was jaehyun.

        I got up from my seat and walked backwards from him. my jaw dropped, my sweats fall down from my head, “w-why are you here?” he only chuckled and walking closer to me as i walked backwards.

         It was so scary, he was so scary.

        “nah, i just wanted to tell you something”

        “w-what is it?”

        “you won’t be safe if you go near to baekhyun again” he said to me as he ran away from me. i looked at his back that slowly began to dissapear.

       I was so scared, the old tragedy might happen again. then i heard a honk sounds, and it was chanyeol.

 

        I was at my bedroom and laid my body on my bed. I sighed over and over, problems won’t get out from my life.

        Then i heard my door was knocked. My jaw dropped so hard when i found Namjoo, the other girl from the swimming club, came to my house, “w-what are you doing here?” i asked because i felt so suprised by her sudden appereance.

        “we wanted to go to the club again! do you wanted to join us? Come on~ the last time we went there, you leaved so soon” i kept rejected her but she forced me to go there since she said that we were going to have some fun.

       At the end of that moment, i came with her.

 

        I heard the loud music from inside that building. The security who guarding the club still the same person like the old one the last time i went here.

        I came inside with jiyeon, Namjoo, soyeon and the other friends. They were jumping and dancing all over time while i just sat there, watched some couples groping each other.

        “the i’m doing here...........”

        Then i remember when baekhyun took me out from this place. The day when he confessed his feelings to me.

       i sighed slowly, i began to miss him since i’m ignoring him all day. I felt someone touched my shoulder and walked away, i turned my head back and found jimin back that was walking away from me.

       i gasped, i have to go now or this boy will do something bad to me.

        “are you okay? You seems so nervous” said soyeon while sitting right next to me. i told her that i have to go now because i didn’t feel well, but it seems like she knew that it was just a stupid excuse.

        “you can’t lie to me, girl, you’re nervous so bad! Did someone you like is here? Or maybe your boyfriend?!” soyeon got so exited while i was still thinking about the worst possible that could happend if me and jimin at the same place.

         Then someone with a black mask on -  which i could tell that it was baekhyun – came approaching us and grabbed my hand.

         I was so relief when i found that he was there. But wait, why does he came to the club?

        I grabbed my bag and leaved soyeon behind while walking right behind baekhyun.

         When we reached the exit door, he opened his mask frustadetly, “why did you came here again!?!? i already told you to not go here again because i don’t like it when someone was looking at you!?!?!?” i became really scared of him.

       he yelled at me so hard until my ear was so hurt.

        “then why are you here?”

        “don’t you understand? After you acted cold to me all day, i began to stalked over you everytime you were at outside. I’m just afraid that something bad will happen to you. And you said that your- i mean hyoyeon’s ex has already free from jail, right?” he said.

        His eyes became weak and soft, he really did scared and worried about me. i hugged him right away, knowing that he actually really does care about me made me felt so fluttered.

        “thank you for be there for me”

        “no, thank you for being exist”

~~~***~~~